DARTBAGS - The Most Drinkin'est & Friendliest Darts Team In NYC (TM)

WEEK 3 - FALL 2010

2010-10-18T13:58:00.002-04:00

Hard To Swallow

The Week 3 Smoothie

Ingredients

- 2 cups glass (in shards)

- 1 cup asparagus infused urine

- 1 cup breast milk

- 1/2 cup rabbit feces

- 2 tsp wasabe powder

- 1 whole catfish

- 1 oz pistachio ice cream

Place ingredients in blender.

Pulse to desired consistency.

Serve in a frosty mug.

Enjoy.

Thats what it was like losing

in week 3 against Jody Got Your Girl,

11-7 at the Bleecker Bar.

Down 6-2 after singles, the Dartbags

split the rest of the night 5-5, leaving way

too many points out on the board, and

the aforementioned nasty-ass concoction

left for the swillin'.

Props however to Porntros, who

despite being fresh off of an upstate

wedding bender, took a singles split from a

good player. 305 all-star points for the pimp,

and then he was out.

X-rated.

STD infested.

Chamberlain darts.

With a chance to tie, JFK and I, Cuppa,

"dropped the ball", losing the last 2 games

of doubles 501.

If there was a drinking game to be had

using The Week 3 Smoothie, we would

have been co-anchor men.

Pya Lou would have all but pretended

to take a sip, and I wouldn't have even let

Chris partake in it.

But we would have deserved that.

Ok.....maybe not that - thats just foul.

But you get the point. We didn't play well.

And don't worry, Pya Lou let us know

about it...(cough glass houses cough)

The highlight of the night however, as it

has been all season, was cricket.

As a team, we raked like Robinson Cano

in the ALCS. Like The Situation at a

fist-pumpin night club.

10 all-star rounds in total, and very clutch.

'Bag O The Night

Individually, it was Mellenballs who

once again threw filthy, dirty, nasty darts,

leaving the other team shaking their heads,

and the 'bags giddy like little school girls

at Bieberpalooza.

Good stuff, once again...My Lucille.

And that was pretty much a wrap.

Put it in a brown paper bag, light it

on fire on someone's porch, and

run like hell.

All-star Recap:

Mellenballs - 620

JFK - 395

Pya - 340

Porntros - 305

Cuppa - 195

Tonight, the Dartbags are home at The Jeek.

May we throw like Cliff Lee playing for a

megabucks contract next season.

Go Texas Rangers.

Out.

WEEK 2 - FALL 2010

2010-10-01T18:22:00.003-04:00

W

W stands for win. The Dartbags won their
week 2 match against The Tempests, 11-7.

W also stands for wet. Not in the Joy Harmon
way wet....but as in weather. Bad weather.
Torrential downpours added drama to monday
night's contest, as 3 of the 'bags were out of town,
and 2 were attempting to fly back.

Would at least 1 of the Dartbags be able to
make it to the match....on....time.....?

(match on time...)

Ultimately, it was Mr. Kwonderful,
James Effing Kwon who would come through
hugetime, fighting through the weather and heroically
dragging his ass in time to avoid any forfeiting
of the points stuff, and canadian tomfoolery.

Here's what happened...

Pya, Porntros and My Lucille - Chris The Freak -
Mellenballs - Mellen took to the oche against
a pretty decent squad, who was in A2 last season.

With kwon-man-down, the 'bags split the first
6 games 3-3, postponing JFK's singles turn until
later when he arrived.

Round 1 of cricket left The Tempests on top 5-4...

...but also being at the half-way point of the match,
left 3 weary 'bag boys this close to forfeiting their
pending singles games, and also forcing them to
throw Petros to the wolves of canadian-cricket.

Top 10 ways to distract the opposing darts team
long enough until your last man arrives:

10) Fake an emergency phone call.

9) Carly Simon.

8) "The stain above the urinal looks like Jesus."

7) Put on a minstrel show - this may also get
your ass kicked, but a distraction nonetheless.

6) Space cakes.

5) "Hand-grenade" the other team - revive them
when your guy arrives - if they're still alive.

4) "Who wants some Tullamore Dew?"

3) Mookie Wilson.

2) Boobies - unfortunately, we don't have any.

(drumroll)

And the number 1 way to distract the opposing
darts team long enough until your last man arrives:

1) Boobies - find some if you don't have any.

(music)

Well, I don't know what they did....I wasn't there.
But whatever they did, it worked, and JFK strolled
in at 9:30pm.

(My money is on #5 btw...)

Anywho...the 'bags played on and took the
last 7 of 9 remaining points, en route to a solid
11-7 victory, all things considered.

Monday, we play Jodie Got Your Girl
at the Bleecker Bar. They're the first place
team after 2 weeks, 1 point ahead of us.

This should be a good one. I, Cuppa, am in town
and will definitely be there. Furious, our big toe
and fearless captain should be there as well, for the
first time this season.

Scratch that - Furious played the last round of
doubles in week 1. In any case, we should be
playing fully loaded for the first time this season.

Loaded indeed...

I don't have the sheet, so there's no allstar recap
this week. I also don't feel like scanning over
a mish-mash of letters and numbers on the league
site....so again, no recap.

Props to all the guys who made it on monday,
especially James, aka Mr. Kwonderful.

CUPPA

WEEK 1 - FALL 2010

2010-09-24T18:44:00.011-04:00

BACK IN BLACK

Its been too long, we're glad to be back...

We've been
Let loose
From the noose...

...hammering out a 15-3 victory over
Fitz In Any Hole, from Fitzgerald's Pub.

Thats right - Fitz In Any Hole - nice work
on the name guys.

But we are back indeed. The Dartbags, that is.
And to celebrate, we've resurrected the blog
from a long period of radio silence.

Where have we been?

To be honest, our latest incarnation of the 'bags
just couldn't hack the A division. Half the team
was getting tired of barely surviving in the bottom
2-3 teams in A2, and basically said no mas, Roberto.

The other half of us, me included, were left trying
to figure out whether we really belonged in A
anymore.

Look, we have some darn good players,
but lets face it - we rode the Werewolf Turnpike
all the way to A division, and when he quit,
it was pretty much sayonara after that.

Sprinkle in a couple of guys getting married,
having kids....changes in priorities and
responsibilities, and we just weren't the same
team that got us to A in the first place.

So to keep playing darts, half of us decided to
dissolve into our sister team, The Starving Dartists,
where the other half of our team began playing
full time, in B division.

It took some pride swallowing, and some late night
reality check conversations....sometimes having to
verbally beat it into some guy's heads,
but we soon realized that B was where we belonged.
The last 2 seasons playing as the Dartists proved that.

NOTE: none of what I'm saying here is in any
way a slight to B division. B is tough...with some
great teams and great players, who will soon be
making hay in A. I'm merely laying out the chronicle of
the journey we've taken to this point. Aite?

So the Dartbags are back at the Jeek. Where our
plaques and trophies from championships gone by
reside like relics in an old Moose Lodge.

But we return as second class citizens.

No longer are we the Kings of Keeley...the
Princes of The Pub. Drinking Darts, led by
Sir Dylan St John Foster, now rule the roost.
They are the A alpha dogs of The Jeek,
and we're merely 1 of 3 other Jeek sponsored
teams, fighting our way through B division.

If we want it back again, we need to get it ourselves.

Not by flying too high on borrowed wings.

Wings that weren't really "ours", you know what I mean...

I'm saying we were flying high in April, with the Werewolf,
but shot down in May, without the Werewolf...

The wings that we were using to fly weren't actually...

(ok enough, I'm done Furious...)

Week 1 - Fall 2010

On Monday, what can I say...we rolled like dubya.

I mean....it was 15-3. Ykwim? Fitz threw
some pretty good darts, especially during singles.
We were only up 5-3 at that point. 2 losses went
to Porntros, who played their toughest shot,
and is embarking on his sophomore season.

Hey bro, no sophomore jinx this season, aite?
I want x-rated darts. I know you can handle that....

I'm not worthy....I'm not worthy....

I digress....where was I.

So after singles, it was on. 10-0 type of on.

But you know what was really on? You know
what was really freaking on?! Like Joy Harmon
on a dirty old 49 Ford Coupe?

Answer: Chris....aka Mellenballs.

Thats right. And another outing like that, I'm gonna
change your nickname to Lucille.

Filthy - dirty - disgusting - dare I say stimulating seductive darts,
sending our team into a voyeuristic frenzy!

OK - I just watched the video.....I lost my shite for a second.
I'm cool...

Lets just say his darts were Chridiculous (courtesy Pya).
Best darts I've seen from one of us in a long time.
Restaurant quality. A division worthy. Sick.

I think he just hit another R7. Pop baby, pop. 740 allstar
points, while scoring none in singles 501. Thats some
chridiculous doubles play, guy.

So thats pretty much it. We all played pretty well.
We had fun. We rocked out to The Rolling Stones
all night long (thank you Cuppa - 20 bucks in the jukey).

And Furious showed up in time to help sweep a round
of doubles 501, with I - Cuppa, putting a cap on a great
week 1.

No one else showed up so no props to the entourage
or groupies. Next week.....I don't know, check the schedule.
Lets have a good season.

Allstar recap:

Mellenballs - 740 - leads B division, undefeated
JFK - 492 - undefeated, solid deez
Cuppa - zero - undefeated, jukemaster 5000
Pya - zero - good positive scoring vibe
Porntros - zero - IS the man, no matter how he throws darts
Furious - zero - way to show up at the end

(BTW: thats the first time I can remember having 4 guys with
zero asp - like RJ used to say....)

CUPPA

Week 13 - Fall 2008

2008-12-22T14:27:00.008-05:00

J F K

J isn't for John, it stands for James.

And F isn't for Fitzgerald, it stands for F'ing.

Finally, we have K....and it sure as heck doesn't stand for Kennedy. It stands for Kwon.

Put it all together, and what do you have? A darts player, built like a fire-hydrant with a head.

We call him 'JFK'.

The 24 year old A-league rookie carried the Dartbags to a 14-10 victory, catapulting them into 5th place, skipping over 2 teams in the standings, the Big Triple Hunters, and this weeks opponent, Boolsheet.

JFK opened the match sweeping their best shot, Mark Evans, which is no small task. This guy is solid. All 3 games were slug-fests. JFK hit more 80-somethings than a geriatric giggolo. He answered every big shot with one haymaker of his own, slamming the door on Mark, going out on his first dart in all....3....games.

Ridiculous.

After sweeping singles, he threw FURIOUS on his back and swept cricket. And if it weren't for a momentary lapse in doubles 501, he and CUPPA would have swept that as well.....but the last game of the night got away.

Final score, Dartbags 14 - Boolsheet 10, and 8/9 for The Kwon. The most solid individual performance of the season thus far. Nothing sexy....only 318 allstar points. All he did was win, though, and in commanding fashion.

Give the rest of the 'bags a nod for their supporting roles:

Vince was deadly in cricket.

FURIOUS was solid in singles, taking 2/3 against Garo, who racked up 500 points against him. He also went 7/9 on the night.

CUPPA's hi-light was a back to back T, 4T0, in the final game of the night, setting up JFK to end the match with a doubles sweep. Wasn't to be.....but 14 was good enough.

Allstar recap:

Vince - 345
JFK - 318
FURIOUS - 314
CUPPA - 240

This week is Christmas week, so no darts will be thrown. Next monday is the final match of the season. The Dartbags will take on Threepenny Opera, away, at McSwiggan's bar on 2nd avenue, between 22nd and 23rd.

After a lost season, a 5th place finish for the 'bags would be a huge victory. However, its highly unlikely. The boys play a very tough Threepenny Opera team, who should be set as a 5 point favorite. Boolsheet, who is 3 points behind us, plays Jumbled Alien Paranoia, who's having a very rough season, and would most likely be a 3-4 point underdog.

You get the picture.

But no one really knows what the future holds, and some time before monday......the 'bags should take a step back, and listen to the immortal words of Herm Edwards (click here).

Go Dartbags!

And Merry Christmas, Joy Harmon!

Week 12 - Fall 2008

2008-12-15T14:08:00.005-05:00

DOUBLE TROUBLE

No....not that double trouble.

Or that one.

And for the love of God.....not this one.

(Notes: am I crazy, or does the first one look like dartbaguette Nell in double vision? As for the second one, Otis is a bad-ass.....sans the 2 dorky white dudes on sax. And I have no use for chocolate-ice, for cryin' out...)

This version of double trouble starred CUPPA and Vince The Hornets Nest, who turned a potential 13 or 14 point victory into a 13-11 loss, by choking away 3 straight 501 games to the good dudes from Biddy's.....the Big Triple Hunters.

FURIOUS was back from his Parisian honeymoon, but contracted the airplane flu on the trip back. The remedy was a steady diest of hot toddies, but the flu would ultimately win out. The FURIOUS One, despite taking 2/3 from Eric "The Matternhorn" Mattern, would understandable never quite get on track.

It did get us off on the right foot though. At the end of singles.....after less than stellar darts.....we were playing with house money, up 7-5.

Scott "Ooh La La" Sisson played some of the best darts we've ever seen from him. He racked up 425 points, and was out faster than Robert Duncan.

And I, CUPPA, in the same vein, was more like David Gest, as it seemed I'd never get out. However, a flamboyant singles-night-high 495 points, helped snag 2/3 from Tom Gray. Fabulous.

J.FURIOUS.K did the honors, starting us off in cricket, against Eric & Christian "Fuhwhuttitz" Wirth. Nothing against the other guys, but I, CUPPA, who wrote the lineup for cricket, thought Frankwonstein would get us out to a 9-5, or even a 10-5 lead. They've been that good lately, especially JFK.

But the bad-guys took 2/3 rather decisively, cutting our lead to 8-7. Cuppa'cenz would then take 2/3 from red-hot-Scott, and cult-hero Ed Lewis, who wasn't dishin' out R-5's at his usual pace. Props to Vince who smacked a couple of R-7's, and a ridicu-finish to game 3.

The score was now Dartbags 10, BTH 8.

But as we moved into doubles 501.....ladies & gentlemen.......I introduce to you CUPPA & the aforementioned "double trouble". Hey, no one really lit it up on our side, and FURIOUS didn't even stick around to see us get swept, he was so sick. JFK took off as well, leaving Vince and I to wallow alone in our own misery.

BTH took the last 5/6, hi-lighted by a great 146-out by Tom Gray that ended the match, sealing a 13-11 victory.

We left faster and angrier than....I don't know, 2 really fast and angry dudes.

As we stormed out, I could still hear Tom screaming in ecstasy over his 146-out.

So angry.....

Anywho....kudos to Biddy's who are always great hosts.

And big props to the jukebox and the "play mine next" feature.

Note to non-darts people in the bar: if you play Enrique Iglesias or Marc Anthony (who, up until just now, I thought were the same dude), your remaining selections are goin' DOWN.

Which leads us to the Line Of The Night (TM), that was delivered at a low-volume point during Anthony's "You Sang To Me":

CUPPA: "JFK, gimmie all your money....I gotta get this crap off the jukebox."

Allstar recap:

CUPPA - 595
VINCE - 535
JFK - 471
FURIOUS - 195

Tonight....monday, December 15th:

We play Boolsheet at The Jeek. We have an opportunity to jump 2 spots in the standings if we win tonight. Here's our chance to make something happen in an otherwise lackluster season.

I think we're going to battle with JFK, FURIOUS, Vince, and I, CUPPA.

See you there.

And last but not least: LALLYPALOOZA was....in a word: insanity. Great times. There's too much I could type here. Not enough time. Everyone was there. Cheers, and thank you Mr. Lally.

Outtie.

Like.

Gowdy.

Week 12 - Fall 2008

2008-12-03T12:05:00.013-05:00

18-6
By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

Do you really need to ask who had 18?

And another gone...and another one gone.

The Dartbags bit the dust, once again.

Sure the 'Hammocks went bananas on us, racking up about 3000 asp's. And, of course, FURIOUS was honeymooning in Paris, which left us without our big-toe....our David Koresh.

Whatever....here's the bottom line: its just another ho-hum drubbing by the opposition. Its become routine now. We had a great time. Even The Hornets were yukkin' it up. The conversation I had at the end of the match kinda sums up the state of the Dartbags union:

"Oh....match is over?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, that was quick. What was the final?"

"18-6."

"18-6? Wow. Nice job guys. And its 10:45? Thats convenient. Thanks for ending it early."

"No problem."

"Hey, before you guys head back to Jersey, can you get us a round of shots? Jamesons."

"Sure."

"Thanks guys!"

Thank you, indeed.

Lets see if I can scrape up some hi-lights here...

1) the Arnold Schwarzenegger calisthenics song, playing on the jukebox, so ridiculously funny that no one could throw.....had to stop the match and figure out how to turn off the jukebox. I highly recommend if you should feel the need to pee in your pants.

2) Craig Aiken hit an R-9, and match high 1028 asp's.

3) CUPPA hitting the double-bull 4 separate times (including a C-4) to keep the 'bags alive in a cricket game that racked up about 1200 points. We lost it, of course. Nice bit of bully though.

4) Vince and C-Mell took 2/3 in doubles '01. Yeah, thats worthy of a hi-light about now.

5) Molly Pitchers did a heck of a job treating us right. We'll remember that, and we will indeed be back as a result. Kudos.

Finito. Exeunt. Good night, Joy Harmon.

Allstar recap:

CUPPA - 705
Vince - 639
Glenn - 605
C-Mell - (-20) you missed the board once...thats -20 each time.

Tonight we play the Big Triple Hunters, at Biddy's. Lets see if we can turn things around.

*LALLYPALOOZA is December 13th, at Gaf East.

*Last night, Jamie Donovan beat James O'Brien 16-3 in their second head-to-head money match at Biddy's. And in the undercard, CUPPA tied Harlan and his Achy-Blaikie-Darts, 2-2. Kiss your sister....

Outtie...like...Gowdy.

Week 11, Fall 2008

2008-12-01T13:17:00.008-05:00

Dartbags In Disarray
By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

Disorder.

Confusion.

A mess.

That pretty much sums up whats been going on the past 4 weeks. Disorder, in that....for multiple reasons, we don't really know who's playing from week to week anymore.

Confusion, for mysterious reasons, our performance levels have dropped dramatically, pretty much across the board. Some....like I, CUPPA....more than others. And where have the weekly writeups been? The same place as my darts game: MIA.

But its not without good reason...

I can only speak for myself....but add a dash of "I'd rather focus my attention elsewhere" in the mix.....and what you end up with is a mess. At least in terms of playing darts. Everything else in life seems to benefit, but lets not go there, this is a darts blog after all.

Maybe someday my friends and I will get together over coffee and a book. Or Bible readings at church. Maybe boxing class, or yoga. Things that don't involve boozing til 1am on a monday night. And lets be honest. Show me a sober guy at a darts match, and I'll show you a Jew for Jesus. I know.....they exist, but you get my point.

I think it was Groucho Marx who said, "half of life is just showing up". Well that works the other way around, too. Don't bring the fat guy to White Castle.

Anyhow....the past 4 weeks, we've gone 0-3-1. We barely....and I think undeservingly....squeezed out a tie against Paul "The Quiz" Quisenberry and J.A.P. My game has been so far down the toilet, Paul couldn't even look at me without shaking his head, in sympathetic pity. Of course, we played eachother again in singles. No matter how you shake the lineup, its CUPPAQuiz everytime. Death, taxes, Joy Harmon somewhere in our blog....and you bet I'm playin' Paul in singles.

It used to be a good rivalry. Now its like Lennox Lewis, beating on Mike Tyson, begging him to put his hands up.

We've had some personal bright spots here and there. JFK, for example has turned into our most consistent shot. The kid is good. Message to dart-geeks: remember the name James Kwon.

FURIOUS, when he's been able to show up, has had some bright spots as well. Like hitting a ton-80 with one shoe on.

Thats pathetic.

But, its been what its been.

And tonight it gets even worse!

We play The Banana Hammocks, at Molly Pitchers. I have no idea who these guys are. I didn't play the first match, where we got beaten down like red-headed mules...

???

...but what I do know, is that, aside from Julio'brien, and Menace To Sobriety, they've been beating the snot out of everyone in the division.

Yaayyy!

And FURIOUS is in France, on his honeymoon....to make things even easier. But, like I said, that's par for the course this season. Heck, I didn't play last week, and we had to play canadian against the aforementioned Menace.

If you get a chance to read this, Frank, while you're in gay Paris.....I just want to say, from the bottom of my heart, that you're a bigger dart-geek than I thought......STOP READING THIS! YOU'RE IN FRANCE, for cryin' out....

Anyway....tonight, I think we're going with CUPPA, The Werewolf, The Hornet's Nest, and the c-melliest darts player in the NYDO, C-Mellen.

Oh...one more thing: Joy Harmon.

2008-10-27T15:21:00.002-04:00

Addendum...

2008-10-21T19:28:00.006-04:00

Please read the Captain's Log, Dartdate 10-20-08, first...below this addendum.

By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

I have no choice but to add this short addendum. I'm not actually in total control of my actions right now.

It was a long night, forgive me FURIOUS.

1) Ed Lewis played the most retarded cricket I've ever seen. "Retarded" meaning ridicu-darts, not subaverage cognitive functioning.

2) FURIOUS neglected to use one of the greatest tandem nicknames in darts history, "Mattern & Lewis", coined by yours truly.

3) Tullamore Dew is now the official drink of dart-night. Who needs beer when you have premium Irish Whiskey. And don't ask Justin where he keeps the secret stash. Hands off!

Its a great way to relax the nerves....I strongly recommend drinking your first about a half-hour before match-time, and have at least 2 before you throw your first singles games. Then have some dude on your team order another one for you, so you can go to it during your games.

Then use your discretion as the night rolls along. Proceed with caution.

The only negative side affect, besides slurred speech, impaired balance, poor coordination, flushed face, reddened eyes, reduced inhibition and uncharacteristic behavior....is that, at the end of the night, you want to beat the ever-loving snot out of guys that look french.

That actually may be the only reason I drink Tullamore Dew, in retrospect.

4) I just found out Harlan "The Blaikinator" Blaikie threw 1177 allstar points last night, including a TON-58 on, and a TON-80. Redarted.

5) I just dubbed Harlan, "The Blaikinator", about a minute ago.

6) I don't remember Ginsberg showing up last night. Oh....yes I do.

7) I ended our first cricket game, hitting single-bull / single-bull / single-bull, thank you very much.

8) Ed Lewis just hit another R-5.

9) Every time a bell rings, Ed Lewis has just crushed another R-5....screw the angel's wings.

10) I love Ed Lewis.

11) I think I may go over to Apiary after I'm done writing this. Everyone has to go there. New rule. My friend owns it, and its freaking awesome.

12) Halloween is coming up, and the Dartbags have to play in costume, its mandatory. If you're not in costume, you're not playing....its that freaking simple.

13) Lallypalooza is on December 13th this year.

14) December 13th is also my dad's birthday. Couldn't have picked a better day to throw a huge blow-out gathering of dart-dorks, Tom. Well done.

15) I'm a dart-dork....and I'm ok with that.

16) Why does Tullamore Dew taste so ridiculously good? Oh, this is why: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nv6rHAHcHSM

17) The Dow is dropping points like James O'Brien on Monday nights.

18) 'The Jeek' is spelled with a j....geek.

19) Joy Harmon.

Outtie like Gowdy...

HUNTED DOWN AT THE GEEK: 'BAGS FALL 11 - 13

2008-10-21T15:38:00.007-04:00

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 10 - 20 - 08

It was good to be back at the Geek (soft "g"). If you consider the Columbus Day holiday the week before, the egregious beatdown by Banana Hammocks the week before that and a bunch of road games. This match up represents the first "normal" home match since the season opener.

We matched up against old friends, Big Triple Hunters. We'd gotten the best of these guys the last couple matches so we knew tonight they wouldn't just be seeking Big Triples... they'd be seeking revenge.

They'd have it too. (More on that below).

There are few noteworthy changes at George Keeley this season.

1) A second board has been set up on "The Stage" where former greats such as Chickenstand Throw Down Band -who rocked, and Little Rapper Guy - who didn't ("C'mon, y'all!!!, C'mon, y'all!!! YEEEEEEAH!) used to tread the boards. So now on any given Monday there are 2 games going on.

2) Chris "The Viking" Mellen and James "JFK" Kwon have been called up from the Starving Dartists, our spin off/farm team. Chris has been terrific. And James would see his first action of the season tonight - great debut.

3) And lastly, the soap in the bathroom makes your hands smell like Fruit Loops. I'm serious. I can NOT be the only one who's noticed this. The previous soap smelled a little like marzupan, but the new stuff smells exactly like the breakfast cereal. This means that everytime I go to the bathroom it reminds me of my staying over my grandma's when I was a kid. (She was the only one who ever let me and my brother eat sugar cereal). It also means that if a dude's hands doesn't smell like Fruit Loops when he leaves the can... choose the fist bump over the handshake.

Here's what happened.

SINGLES: 7-5

Frank took on his old buddy, Eric Mattern who, for once, was NOT wearing the jersey for the German national soccer team. Pretty solid darts all around. The Captain took the first two in 10 and 9 rounds (395 all stars along the way), and Eric grabbed the last point to get BTH on the board. (2-1)

Cup played Scott Sisson in the second match and started off with a sharp 95. He was hitting more 19s than Wilt Chamberlain at a sorority party. After a couple of sharp wins by Joey Pep, Scott woke and went on a 20's streak in which he hit at least 60 for 5 straight rounds. Like Eric before him, he'd salvage the last point. (4-2)

James played Tom Gray in the third set and followed the example of the veterans (e.g., take first two, drop last one). If JFK had nerves, you'd never know it. Just 320 ASPs and consistent strokes one after another. After two crisp games (9 rounders, I think), Tom had had enough and went out in 7 rounds. (6-3)

Vince took on Christian Wirth in the final set. It was role reversal in the last set. Christian started out hot nailing down a couple of close games, before Vince heated up to take the final one. (7-5)

CRICKET: 2 - 4

Cricket was the game changer. Frank and Vince played Eric and Ed Lewis. The 'Bags didn't play badly. The first game looked like an A league cricket match should look. R4, answered by R-5, answered by R-5 and so on. Some real hero darts by Vince along the way. But Eric and Ed were just too much (especially Ed who couldn't miss double cork). What can you say? They shot great and just outplayed us... 3 times. A big fat sweep, and like that, we were losing (7-8)

It would be up to Cup and JFK. Going up against Christian and Tom, they got the 'Bags off the Shnide. They used Cup's mathematically complicated (and at times anger-inducing) system of pointing to go up a quick 73 points. Like a bear who lives off stored fat in the winter... they would live off the fat point lead and take the first. T & C paid them back in game two. And it was the 'Bags prevailing in the rubber match to knot the score once again. (Loved to see the consistency of James in this game. You need a 16? Bang! Here's a fat 16 with some zip on it.) Good darts. 9-9

DOUBLE 01: 2-4

It was another frustrating set for Frank and Vince. Eric and Tom followed the recipe for success in Double 501; get on quickly, get off quickly. They went in first round every time and wasted no time nailing doubles. Frank simply didn't have it. And Vince's scale on the Nasty-o-Meter was 4.5 (lower than he likes it). Another debilitating sweep (the last on a double 17 by Tom which he knew he needed). Outgunned once again. If anger were potatoes... we were frickin Idaho. (9-12)

Thank goodness for Cup and JFK. They each won 6/9 and they pulled our fat out of the fire once again. I missed some of the details because I was outside cooling off, but they nailed the first two games shut (a DS-97 for Cup in the mix). Ed and Scott took the final game to give us the loss, (11-13 is your final).

So it was jubilation for them. Frustration for us. Mashed knuckles for the captain. And Jameson shots for everybody. A tip of the cap to Big Triple Hunters. They're a great bunch of guys and we enjoy hanging out with them. They even bought us a shot and a beer at the end of the night. We'll look forward to returning the favor at their place.

Also - needs to be said - they shot great tonight. Best we've seen out of them, in fact. Kudos.

Kudos also for the original Dartbaguette, Hope who showed up (and brought a wedding present) and too Ginsberg who came out despite a Rangers loss.

The Dartbags had some fine individual performance, but once again failed to hit on all cylinders. We'll try to figure it out next week against Boolsheet down at Eammon's, a talented team that we haven't seen before.

That is all.

- Captain Furious

All Star Recap

Cup: 626

Frank: 615

James: 320

Vince: 200

Week 2: Fall 2008

2008-09-23T14:11:00.026-04:00

FURIOUSLESS
EN FAILTE

Blue Collar 'Bags Battle
Furiouslessly to 13-11 Win

By CUPPA Joe Gasparino

Cpt FURIOUS was in Chicago. Rumors abounded.

Was he the key-note speaker at Trekkapalooza '08?

Was he on a secret mission to 'shrink' the heads of the crumbling stock market?

Some believe that FURIOUS was half-way across the country, meeting with Joy Harmon and her top chef at Aunt Joy's Cakes, to secure dessert for his upcoming wedding reception.

Only Frank, God...and hopefully Joy, knows.

What I know...is that, without our 'Big Toe'...our FURIOUS leader...

...the guy who puts the Chic in Geek...

...our flashy all-star point leading King of 'The Ring'...

...we, the Dartbags, rolled up our sleeves, and put forth a gritty, blue-collar effort, that resulted in a much needed 13 points. This was an out-and-out GRIND.

No gawdy all-stars...in fact only 958 total for the whole crew. But like retired Dartbags legend, RJ "The Surgeon", used to say: "Allstar points mean (shite)." And this match further bolstered that theory.

Shite....last week I, CUPPA, recorded 800 and went 3/9. That stinks. This week, I scraped up 100, the lowest total I can recall in years, and went 7/9. Its all about the W's.

We beat 'Jumbled Alien Paranoia', playing out of Failte, a tremendous Irish whiskey pub, on 2nd avenue, between 29th and 30th. A note about Failte, and the guy behind the stick...who's also the guy that helped put the team together, Dean 'The Machine' McCarthy:

Simply put: they do the right thing. Best treatment we've ever had by a darts pub, other than our home, George Keeley. 'The Jeek' has an awesome reputation for its hospitality, and the other teams in the league know it. Failte is at least on the same level. Note to other teams, and their pubs: pay attention. Especially J.A.P's last home bar, that wrote the book on how to make sure we'll never spend another DIME in that.....place.

I'll bring bottled water and a flask if I ever have to play there again.

Whats up with guys that don't get it.

What was that you said, Pya Lou?

Pya: "Those people SUCK!"

In the immortal words of Cameo: "Word up!"

Anywho....tremendously large kudos to Failte, Dean, and the guys that played: Paul 'The Quiz' Quisenberry, Joe 'The Alien' Taras, 'Bloody' Liam Keane, and Brian 'Crack' O'Kane...

...thats a good one :)

We all fought hard, and as usual, we had the friendliest of bouts with these guys.

Now...I brought this up in the last post: What in Jesus-ball-hell is 'Jumbled Alien Paranoia'? Answer: Mr. Taras, who by the way filled out and folded the remaining scoresheets for the rest of the season's matches....out of sheer boredom...ahem...

...took all of the guy's names on the team, threw them in the hopper of some word-jumble program on his computer, and it spit out 3 words: Jumbled Alien Paranoia. Case closed. Mystery solved. It's not as good as 'Liam's Leftovers', but it does the job.

SINGLES 501

Paul 'The Quiz' Quisenberry (1) - CUPPA Joe Gasparino (2)

It seems we square off every time we play. Without FURIOUS around, I figured I'd play Major Dick Winters, and lead us into battle. Paul was spot-on, smacking 490 asp, working his way down at a serious clip in every game. CUPPA hit more 80-something's than a geriatric giggolo, and his outs were tighter than cousin Rob's wallet with his wife in labor. For those of us who get that tid-bit.....thats pretty freakin' tight!

Joe 'The Alien' Taras (1) - Glenn 'The Werewolf' Pike (2)

This was a battle of seasoned veterans, one that has been fought a few times before. Both guys were equally sharp. Not the sharpest we've seen from them, but then again....thats still pretty sharp. All 3 games were close. A bit of double-trouble helped Glenn nail the last one down. Oh...and his hair was perfect.

'Bloody' Liam Keane (2) - Chris 'The Freak' Mellen (1)

This was the A-league debut for 'The Freak', the c-melliest player in the NYDO. After some understandable first game jitters, Chris settled down and took the second in crisp fashion. Liam's bloody tough, and took the 3rd, en route to 322 asp. The kid freak broke in with his first 211 A-league asp in round 1.

Brian 'Crack' O'Kane (2) - Vince 'The Hornet's Nest' (1)

Vince was MIA when round 4 was supposed to start. We released the hornets in search of him, and as they buzzed around the murray hill section of manhattan, I got a call from him. You see, instead of a phone-booth, Vince uses a black Lincoln Towncar for hire. When he called he was taking off his suit and tie, and putting on his souveneir Nantucket t-shirt and cargo shorts, in the back seat. He finally arrived.....and with virtually no warm-up and a lipper, he proceeded to lose 2/3, to a heavy-handed Brian O'Kane. Give more credit to Brian, than to a docile Hornet's Nest.

J.A.P (6) - Dartbags (6)

Doubles Cricket

Quiz-Alien (2) - Pike's Freak (1)

Ridicu-darts to start things off. Taras with an R6....Pike with an R7. We started to c-mell what Chris was cookin' in this round, as he sharpened up his stroke. Credit Paul and Joe for taking 2 out of 3 solid games, especially closing things out with alien efficiency.

Keane-n-O'Kane (1) - CUPPA'CENZ (2)

The 'Bags dropped a tough one in the first. It was tight, but not the best darts in game one. Especially as it seemed all 4 guys were treating the bullseye like it was Rosie O'Donnell. That utterly hideous trend would end, however....and the worm would turn....as in game 2, CUPPA treated the bullseye like it was Joy Harmon after a car-wash.

A C-4, that put the 'Bags ahead, and in control of the game, hilited a game where CUPPA hit 8 bullseyes, including a game-winning turn....first dart, single-bull.....second dart, the single 15 to win it. As FURIOUS would say: restaurant quality. Game 3 ended similarly for the 'Bags. Gut-check: check.

J.A.P (9) - Dartbags (9)

Doubles 501

Quiz-n-Keane (2) - Pike's Freak (1)

The good-guys raced off to a quick lead in game 1, and finished it off with, I think, a double-7, 14 winner by 'The Werewolf'. 'The Freak' was throwing c-melly darts for the most part (thats a good thing, Martha), but the guys couldn't overcome the Quiz who continued to be en-fuego. A ton-25 by Paul, and a bloody ton-24 by Liam helped them take the last 2 games, putting jumbled alien paranoia into the heads of the 'Bags. J.A.P would lead 11-10 going into the last set.

Jokane (0) - CUPPA'CENZ (3)

Having fully recovered from his dartryst with the bullseye (aka, Lucille (TM)) in cricket, CUPPA, and CENZO, finished where they left off: utter clutchery. Jokane took control in game 1, and it looked like they were en route to the V, with Brian smacking solid, blue-collar darts. With classic "never say die" poise, the 'Bag-boys hung in there, and CUPPA took out a 2-dart 48. CUPPA got in on his first dart in the next 2 games, and nearly took out a 113. 'CENZO thankfully nailed a 3-dart 40-out in his next turn. Vince's Hornets finished the job in game 3 as well, completing an impressive sweep over 2 guys who were dropping the hammer all round.

We needed the sweep to win....we got it.

FINAL: Dartbags 13 - Jumbled Alien Paranoia 11

ASP Totals:

Glenn - 330 (chinese menu in his hand...)
Chris - 311 (c-melly-ass darts)
Vince - 217 (get you to the darts...on...time...)
CUPPA - 125 (7/9...my Lucille)

Special thanks to:

Dartbaguettes, Hope and Nell for showing their support.

Joy Harmon, for accepting further plugs for her company, graciously accepting her status as Honorary Dartbaguette (TM), Fall 2008, and for putting up with more blatant ogling from us.

And last, but not least....Dean 'The Machine', and Failte for unparalleled hostery.

Next match is this coming monday, when we play a couple of the bigger fans of the Dartbags, Julio Andrade and Craig Nobbs, and the rest of 'Menace To Sobriety', away, at The Gaf (West). Gonna be a tough one. We'll need our A+ game, or it'll get ugly in a hurry.

Extra Aqua Velva, Frank.

That is, if you have any left over after meeting with Miss Harmon.

Did I mention that Joy Harmon has a company called 'Aunt Joy's Cakes'?

I'm outtie like Gowdy...

Week 1: Fall 2008

2008-09-22T14:36:00.016-04:00

Last Season, Lilly Lally
& Joy Harmon

By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

What the heck am I talking about? I don't know, the dog apparently ate Frank's writeup...

But what I do know is that we, the Dartbags blog editors, El Capitan, aka Cpt Furious, Frankenstein, Trekmaster 7500, and I, Cuppa, aka Senor Cocon, apologize for the delay in our recet postings.

From here on out, we promise to do a better job delivering these writeups on time, to you, our loyal readers and fans.

We've been busier than ever though....especially since last season's playoff berth, and heinously heinous dismissal at the hands of A3's Sullivan Slingers. Our A-games were checked at the door, except for a ridiculous performance by CUPPA (yeah, thats right) in cricket, that saved us from utter embarrassment.

From the "salt in wound" files.....literally 1 minute after we got hayadoin'd by these guys, Glenn, aka IYH, The Werewolf, decided to tell us that he quit. Questionable timing, but fine. It didn't go over that well at that moment, understandably. The dead corpse of our season still being warm...but ok, guy. It happens.

In the end, however, The Werewolf decided he couldn't leave us, and is now back on the squad this season, albeit in a limited role. We'll take it. Thanks, guy.

In other news...as most of you may know already...Frank and Lillian are getting married! Congrats! Well done, El Capitan. See you in Carmel. Most of the 'Bags, active and retired, will be there in force. Its gonna be a glorious time.

In related news...

Apparently, there has been discovered, a woman named Lilly in Frank's family tree. Long ago, she married a man. That man's name is Tom.

Tom Lally.

So walks the earth, a relative of El Capitan, named Lilly Lally.

And, no...there is unfortunately no relation to our beloved White Hawk, Tom Lally.

But indeed, a Lilly Lally....fortunately....does walk the earth.

In completely unrelated news...

We hereby introduce to you this season's Honorary Dartbaguette (TM), Joy Harmon.

Why, you might ask.

Answer: If you have to ask...go watch Cool Hand Luke.

Joy, a former runner up for Miss Connecticut, will be rooting us on this season, from her Burbank, California digs, where she's been operating a successful bakery and catering business called "Aunt Joy's Cake's", since her halcyon days as a hollywood starlet.

We can sure use all the help we can get. Thank you...my Lucille.

And speaking of Cool Hand Luke...the 'Bags made a roster change this season. We added Cool Hand Chris, aka The Freak, aka Chris Mellen, the c-melliest darts player in the NYDO. He's been a Dartbags relative for about 8 years now, called up from the 'Bags farm system, the Starving Dartists, now in B-league. He'll be making his A-league, and Dartbags debut tonight. Good luck, freak. I can c-mell what you're cookin'.

(gotta wrap up...)

Our new season has begun.

Week 1 kinda stunk actually. Fun, but it took about half the night for the cobwebs of summer to be cleared away. With Cuppa, The Captain, Vince, and Edna, we put out a schitzo hot and cold effort.

We played HOD. A deep team of solid throwers who were moved up from A3, after a ridicufinish to their season. With a few changes to their roster, I think they're gonna make some noise this season.

Like I said, it was indeed good times, despite the loss. Most of the guys we've known for a while now, and as a result, ended in an old fashioned 2am job. Nice work. Hope made an appearance. The Aqua Velva was out. It was also Frank's birthday. Happy Birthday once again, guy.

We lost 14-10.

The details are un-important.

Actually, the dog ate the details.

So deal. Talk to The Captain.

Lets see...Dennis Hayes, who was redarted most of the night, hit a ton-80 on his opening round of the second singles game of the season. Nice job.

Did I mention that Joy Harmon is the new Honorary Dartbaguette (TM) this season?

Week 1 ASP's:

CUPPA - 795
FURIOUS - 538
Vince - 400
EDNA - 240

Tonight we're playing the Jumbled Alien Paranoia...

...am I crazy or...I don't get it. But we're playin' them.

At Failte whiskey pub, on 2nd ave between 29th and 30th st.

Be there, or be a raging tool.

Rock on.

Outtie like Gowdy.

Going Back into the Vault: Best of Captain's Logs

2008-08-26T14:04:00.002-04:00

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE Fall of '05

We have been receiving complaints that the blog has not been updated for a year-ender. They are valid complaints. So in the meantime, here's one from the Vault - a C-League Tuesday write up I stumbled upon. This was when our writeups were basically inside jokes meant only for Dartbag eyes. Hence it has been cleaned up slightly.

Note: This was an historic night in Dartbag lore.
------------------------------------------------

Edge of 17?

Well more like Edge of 16, but we gave away 2 doubles matches and had to settle for a 12-6 victory.

Here's how it went down. Glenn started off by losing. (Wow.) First time all year (and the smart money says last time this year.)

Then the usually reliable Frank made Shakes the Clown look like Cool Hand Luke. He sucked more than a 5 dollar whore on an Army base and lost also.(WTF??)

Not a good start for the 'Bags.

But Cuppa was there to right the ship. He beat Tad Blues Traveller (a very tough player) in a crisp match and got on us on the board.

Then in a surprise appearance the Dartbags welcomed back Prodigal Son, Lou Henry. Like a pitcher without his best stuff, Lou kept it together and hita Double 10 to record the victory in a close match.

Next was Vince who hasn't played in a month. After a brief discussion onhow to play a 57 out, Vince followed his heart and ended it with a sweet 19, Dub19 out. (2 darts only).

Next was RJ "The Panda" Morrow (He Eats, Shoots and Leaves) {Captain's Note: This is a great nickname. We will be reusing it sometime this year.} , who is probably justifying his existence to (his employer) as we speak, efficiently dispatched the opponent and recorded another win.

And things didn't look too bad. Dartbags lead 4-2.

Next is Cricket. Cricket has been our best game. We dominate. (Factoid: Including last match we've won 27 of our last 30 matches and 12 in a row.) It deserves to be pointed out that the other team was stupid here and, I think, disrespectful.

Instead of combining their best players in adesperate hope to steal a point. (Which is what they should have done.) They decided to pair a weak player with a strong player. Thus they created 3 watered down pairings.

I imagine the strategy discussion was like that scene in Braveheart where the Nobels are deciding battle tactics against theEnglish....

Argyle: We mustn't divide our forces!

Wallace: Do it... and let the English SEE you do it...

Well this isn't Braveheart. They should have known better than to divide their forces.

We combined Pike and RJ together to create a sort of freakish "Super Team." They rolled. But that was only half the story.

During the match, Glenn apparently picked up an admirer in the form of an stunningly hot girl from Texas who had been sitting at the bar. Glenn threw a C-3 and girl threw herself -- at Glenn. He recorded 100 all star points, another Dartbag victory and a phone number in the span of about 10 seconds. James Bond couldn't have done it better.

This year the Dartbags have modelled their approach on medieval Viking Raiders. We invade the enemy territory, we drink excessively, we slaughter them in battle, and then, we leave with their women. (Ya, verily it is so.)

Next was Cuppa Lou who took on their sassy shooter, Melissa and... some other dude. The 'Bags rolled again. Lou hit a C-3 to seal the deal. We may have welcomed back Lou after game 1, but welcomed back CONFIDENT Lou after cricket.

Then Vince and Frank completed the sweep with a steady performance,overcoming a C-4 by their guy to make it close. And there you have it. A 6-0 cricket sweep.

Next was Doubles with a fat 10-2 lead. It would get skinnier. Frank'nCup took their sweet-ass time doubling and by the time Frank did (6thturn) it was a steep uphiill climb. But Never Say Die Cup made itinteresting with the other team on 32 and us on 154 he recorded a Trip-20,Dub-20, 18 to leave a 36 out! Miracudarts! But Frank couldn't cash in. Neither could Joe and we lost to Sweet Melissa. Uggggh.

Next was former Scarsdale Football Jocks Vince and Lou. The chemistry is still there. They pulled out a very close victory with Vince going out on 7 (not easy to do) with a 3, dub-2 to pull out a clutch victory in a tight match.

Next was Pike and Marty. Again with the doubling in! Marty eventually hita double 14 to get them going. Glenn hit a Ton-40 to make it a game, but the double out didn't come fast enough and the good guys got upset by Tad K and.... some dude. In this match Glenn also did his angry "I missed the double out and will fire a fastball at the board in frustration thing" which resulted in a bounce out that hit the scorekeeper in his eye.

It was an eventful day for Glenn on a number of levels.

So the final is 12-6 for the 'Bags.

Props:

To Glenn whose season stats now read: 1256 All Star points, 2 hot chicks, and 1 blinding.

To Lou for making the scene and going undefeated.

To RJ for being a trooper and going 3/3.

To Cup for getting us on track and giving us a chance in Doubles.

To Vince for clutch darts, a 4-0 day and taking over as percentage leader for the team (90% on year).

To Marty for doubling in and not being a dick about the Red Sox.

To Frank for hitting cricket corks and doubling in.

NOTE: THERE ARE NO DARTS NEXT WEEK. They cancelled it for election day. For some reason. Our next league sponsored event will be Nov 7th... it's the singles/doubles tourney on Sunday. I'd like to do it. Everyone else is encouraged to do it too. If you've never played in a tourney, it's a lot of fun.Nov 9th (Tuesday) is at GEORGE KEELEY against the Kansas Hellos, a team of chicks.

Should be fun.

That is all.

Week 14: Spring 2008

2008-07-05T14:17:00.015-04:00

Hey...We're The Dartbags:
We Made The Playoffs
By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

I thought this was our first season in A2.

Classic.

To quote my friend Andrew: "You also thought you farted and sh*t your pants once..."

Whether thats true or not...I think you get the point.

We locked down a playoff appearance on monday, beating the Big Triple Hunters, 14-10, at the Jeek.

The celebratory shots of Jamesons were ordered and taken. Thank you, Justin....and thanks to the entire George Keeley crew, for another great regular season.

We toasted to the 'Hunters...handshakes, congrats and good-lucks were exchanged. I then promptly turned to FURIOUS, Vince and Glenn:

CUP: "We should be proud....our first season in A2, and we make the playoffs! Wow. Nice job, guys."

Frank looked at me with a puzzled look on his face, cocking his head slightly to the right. Glenn simply raised his eyebrows, and looked handsome.

VINCE: "What the heck are you talking about, guy?"

Uhhh....what?

Apparently, I missed one small detail.

That we actually played 2 seasons in A2 before....coming in dead-last both times.

I guess some of the guys would say this was a "par-for-the-course" incident for CUPPA. But we still tried to figure out how I could have missed 2 entire seasons, I mean, thats ridiculous.

Not knowing what day of the week it is, thats one thing. But this?

And seasons that I played in. In fact, well enough to win an MVP, only to come up ineligible by a couple of games (nice plug). Are you kidding me?

Finally...we figured it out: this was in the midst of 'Key West', which came at the end of our first season in A2, and spanned over the beginning half of our second season.

Of course I didn't remember that.

But I know...

...it's my own damned fault.

So....after a dead-last finish twice in A2, we were rightfully moved to A3 for 2 seasons, and did well enough to be granted another shot. Now, we're back in again....earned a 4th place finish....and we will invade the bracket once again.

On monday, we will play a tough Sullivan Slingers team, in round 1 of the playoffs.

These guys, and gal, were leading the A3 division most of this season, only to get knocked out in the last week....collateral damage from an insane finish, with Hands Of Doom putting up a nutty 21 spot to take the A3 title.

The top teams in A3, including the 'Slingers, 'Doom, and The Brotherhood, with the Brothers-Healy, are as game as any team in A2, so keep your head up.

Here's the recap of Dartbags VS Big Triple Hunters:

501 - Singles

Glenn Pike (1) *VS* Eric Mattern (2) - credit The Matternhorn with 440 pts. and quick outs. Huge V over the IYH.

Frank Murtha (3) *VS* Scott Sisson (0) - Frank was FURIOUS, and took it out on Scott with 493 pts, in addition to ridicu-clutch outs, that including a 2-dart 94 to end game 3. Tight.

Cuppa Joe Gasparino (1) *VS* Tom Gray (2) - CUPPA stunk, and Tom made him pay for it with decent darts. This round included a pee-break for both guys, who were apparently playing cross-legged in game 2.

Vince The Hornets Nest (2) *VS* Marc Riddick (1) - Riddick land a few over-hand rights, but Vince floated like a butterfly, and stung like a....well....like a Hornet. 340 stingers for the 'Nest.

(7-5 Dartbags)

Cricket

Cuppaglenn (2) *VS* Mattern & Lewis (1) - The Werewolf was howling through this one. CUPPA had a nice ride on his hairy back.

Frankenvince (3) *VS* Gray Sisson (0) - Did I mention Frank was FURIOUS? He was a rabid dog in this round. Irate darts, including 2 x R7's.

(12-6 Dartbags)

501 - Doubles

Frankenpike (1) *VS* Mattern & Lewis (2) - Like Dean & Jerry, Eric & Eddie worked the round like a nightclub. I guess it was a 2-win-minimum...

Cuppa'cenzo (1) *VS* Tom & Marc (2) - Tom's 300, and Riddick's over-hand rights were too much for the typically tough pair, who were probably celebrating a bit too early.

(Final: 14-10 Dartbags)

ASP Results:

FURIOUS 872
Vince 460
CUPPA 195
Pike 193

So, here we are.

Monday night, round 1: Sullivan Slingers, at the Pinch bar in soho.

CUPPA Says (TM): Advice For Monday

(1) every dart counts - one dart could change an entire game. Don't give up on your 3rd dart if you hit a couple of bones. Stay after it.

(2) don't be afraid to step out of the box, and regroup. Shake it off...re-set. Fire away.

(3) Giuseppe Franco has ridiculously thick hair. But its only as thick as its individual strands.

(4) a strong start is huge, but not necessary to win. Play a full-match. Ain't over 'til its over.

(5) don't think....remember what Andrew said. Just throw. Or wear 'Depends'.

(6) I forgot what #6 was supposed to be...

(7) o'clock at the Pinch bar for warm-ups.

Hope to see the whole posse, entourage and hockey team there (Edna).

Outtie Like Gowdy (TM)

Happy Independence Day

2008-07-04T10:19:00.001-04:00

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." - Thomas Jefferson

13 Successes with 2 Ugly Bookends

2008-06-24T01:04:00.012-04:00

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 6 - 23 - 08

'Bags start slow, Pull a Billy Wagner
But hold on for win 13-11

The 'Bags faced off against friendly rivals, Bullistics. We've been playing these guys it seems every seasons for the past few years, and even when they win the division (like last season) we can't seem to get away from them.

This will be a quick one because I'm headed out of town (update: I AM outta town.)

Singles 5 -7

Quiz -3, Pike - 0

Glenn actually shot very well. He opened up big leads twice and nearly was gone in 20 to 25 darts every time. But Paul made him pay for not doubling out (as well as for busting on 126). Glenn looked good. But Paul's doubles looked better. Credit where it's due. The game is about the last dart. You give The Quizmaster a chance, odds are it will cost you.

But if Pike shoots like this... we'll be fine.

Joe - 1, Frank -2

Joe and Frank played each other in league for the 100th time in the past 2 years. (The game was halted after the first leg for a brief cake-cutting ceremony). Neither player was really on. Joe took the first, and Frank stole a couple doing his "last dart" thing.

Brian -2, Vince - 1

The Hornet's Nest is what we call him, because he's at his best when he's stirred up. He was buzzing last night. Vince was amazingly consistent, starting every game with a score of 80 and twice hitting a T-20 after landing on 126. (We had some cosmic connection with the number 126. Pike busted on it, and Vince nearly took it out twice.) In game 1, he fired off 80, 140, 140 consecutively en route to a 21 darter (that could have been an 18 darter). But, once again, it always comes down to the last dart. And Brian shot well enough to hang around and make his doubles count. Disappointing.

James -1, Cup -2

James recalled Cup as a 19 shooter and was having a little fun with Cup, bemoaning all the 19s he expected Cup to hit. Cup said he likes to shoot up top now. James (never above a little joking around/gamesmanship) said, "You're a 19 shooter. I'll believe that when I see you hit a ton."

So Joe responded to James' opening 85, by hitting a Ton. Point made.

Solid darts from Cup who take the first and last leg to pull the 'Bags 5-7.

Cricket 5 - 1

Frank and Glenn drew Joe and Gerald. The Keeley boys weren't super sharp, but it was enough to overcome some of Joe's heroics... score it a sweep.

Cup and Vince vs. Paul and James. More solid darts from the 'Bags. They took 2/3.

Double 'O1, 3 - 3

Frank and Glenn were up first against Paul and James. But James was elsewhere. Eventually we decided just to let the last pairing go first. Vince and Cup were terrific. They took two and Vince even added a 96-On.

(Sigh.) It really went down hill from there.

It was late. Glenn was picturing his new, longer commute that awaited him early in the morning. Frank's pictured the mountain of work before heading out of town the next morning, and his decision to not eat dinner was now officially a poor one.

As the Bard once wrote... the evening had "drained the milk of our human kindness."

It was, however a learning experience. For example we learned that when the opposing player goes AWOL, and causes a long delay late in the evening: Do not...

... drink a bunch of whiskey while you wait.

... refuse to take warm ups because you are in a hurry to get going.

... allow the jukebox to go silent so that all you hear are loud conversations while you shoot.

... get so frustrated after you bust that you gun your very expensive dart at the board, snapping the shaft in the process.

... allow yourself to pull what is now known as "The Billy Wagner" (i.e., lose the final 3 points of the night out) of frustration and impatience.

... overreact and lose your cool and your dignity.

Lessons learned.

Needless to say, Quiz and James picked up their games. Glenn and Frank did not. And we dropped the final 3 games to end a good night on a bitter note

A tip of the cap to Bullistics. Nice guys to a man, and always worthy adversaries.

All Star Recap:

Vince: 575

Glenn: 275

Cup: 296

Frank: 95

Eamonn For Trouble on Murray Street

2008-06-23T17:14:00.004-04:00

And we found it.

We got smoked last night 15-9 in our make up against Armed and Hammered.

Gotta tip your hats to them. They've done that to a lot of folks this year. You are what your record says you are. And their record says first place with room to spare. Good hospitality there as well.

You can read their write up here.

It's good to see another darts blog up. It's fun, it's free, and it makes a good rallying point for friends and fans alike. As Chief Blogger, Bill "The King" Lawlor states that his blog's mission is to "promote the new home bar of Armed and Hammered (Eamonn's) and piss of as many people as possible for as little possible." Good stuff.

(We at the Dartbags blog took our inspiration from Richie C's Full of Ship blog, the first of its kind, I believe.)

We'll play a hungry Bullistics team at O'Hanlon's tonight. A lot on the line. Hopefully we got our worst darts out last night.

That is all.

Until Monday...

2008-06-13T11:57:00.005-04:00

Dreaming...
& Biding His Time

Monday, 6/16/08, Bea Arthur Night, The Jeek

...And Then There's DARTS!

2008-06-11T15:03:00.009-04:00

The Armed & Hammered crew were gracious enough to grant us a postponement. We'll be playing them at Eamonn's (41 Murray St.) on June 22 in the afternoon (I think).

This coming Monday, the Dartbags have a bye. So, in lieu of league play we have a special treat.

We will be hosting a night of darts, brews and hilarity with TV Funny Lady & #1 Dartbags Fan, Bea Arthur! (Yes, she's still alive. And, yes, she'll be at GK).

The woman who gave Archie Bunker holy heck in Maude, cracked on old people in The Golden Girls, and made that cameo in History of the World: Part I ("I'm on my wine break!) will be on hand to hoist a few cold ones, throw a few sharp ones and sign copies of her book, Thank You For Being a Friend: A Golden Girls Trivia Book. This is one Dartbaguette who definitely has NOT gotten stale!

Bea: You'll have to excuse Frank, he suffered a stroke a few years ago that leaves him totally annoying.

Oh, snap! Did she just go there!

You don't want to miss this, dart fans!

That is all.

Week 10: Spring 2008

2008-06-06T19:30:00.025-04:00

'Bags Blow Dubbles

Cuppa'cenz can't hold lead,
blow save, en route to 13-11 loss.
By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

Wacky headline, huh? Too bad. This one hurt.

FURIOUS and Glenn 'The Werewolf' Pike, set the stage with a brilliant effort, putting the 'baggermeisters-4 up 11-10, going into the final round of doubles 501. The traditionally deadly pairing, of Cuppa Joe and Vince 'The Hornet's Nest', uncharacteristically let it slip away, losing the final 3 games.

Give credit to Ted Kutzy and Rob Grant for a solid sweep, and to the rest of the 'Gaf Side Story II', including Sean McCain, Abel Vasquez, and one of the true alpha-dogs of the NYDO, Julio Andrade. Woof woof.

Like we said about 30 times on tuesday (makeup day)...who doesn't love Julio? I challenge thee...

The stat sheet is sun-tanning in Florida with FURIOUS, so details are sketchy. FURIOUS, in Florida again. Shrinkin' his head.

What happened tuesday....hmmm....jeez, I mean....details, details. Oh, here's one...

Cuppa played air-guitar with Julio's signature cane...to the sounds of The Grateful Dead, The Band, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and AC/DC. He also cut a few duets with Ted, including one of Cuppa's all-time faves, Tennessee Jed. (great video...starts dark, but the lights come...have patience)

The Werewolf picked it up in doubles 501, right on cue, when FURIOUS dropped Warren Zevon into the jukebox.

It was a ridicu-fun night...as usual. As it always goes. With these Dartbags.

Special thanks to BFT for droppin' by, and the lone Dartbaguette appearance of the night, by Nellie.

Now is a good time for another break...brought to you by none other than our dear friend, the guy that keeps us happy, laughing, and I can't get enough of dropping his name into our blog, I mean....he's Guiseppe Franco.

Note to all: do not eat sushi in the middle of a dart-match. Something about the beer, combined with the high protein in the fish...all that rice. Its Bloatmaster-5000. Its gasville, population 1 1/2. One...and a half, I said.

I recommend carbs...pasta...pizza...a bagel, with a little hayadoin' on it...I don't know. I love sushi, just not on dart-night, ok? Great. Word.

"He'll rip your lungs out, Jim! Heh...I'd like to meet his tailor..." I would really...truly love to meet that guy's tailor, I'm tellin' ya...

Gotta love Mr. Zevon. Cpt. Zevon, more like it.

"I saw Glenn Pike drinkin' a pina-colada at Trader Vic's......and his hair was perfect...

...(dip)!!!"

Never gets old. His hair...by "his", I mean, the dartist, formerly known as IYH. His locks are gosh-darned perfect.....is it not ridiculous? I mean...

Kinda like this man...a myth...the one true legend-of-locks.

I'm addicted...

Ladies and gentlemen.....one more time...the Dartbags...The Most Drinkin'est & Friendliest Darts Team in the NYDO (TM)...bring you:

GUISEPPE FRANCO

(I'm not kidding, Franco fans...you NEED to see this video. I implore you.)

On that note...I...am...outta here. Like Curt Gowd-a-here. Our next match is postponed from monday to next sunday, June 15th.

What do you want from me. I'm just one man...

With a nickname.

Given to me by a greater man.

A man called EDNA. Thats right....EDNA, you got a problem?

Tommy....take us out, the way only you can: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hj6-voLwB8

Peace...

Memorial Day

2008-05-26T10:15:00.003-04:00

Happy Memorial Day, everyone.

Let's remember the people who gave their lives so we may enjoy it.

Week 9: Spring 2008

2008-05-23T12:16:00.013-04:00

A Furious Fifteen:

El Capitan Sets Personal High
as 'Bags Rock, 15-9
By CUPPA Joe Gasparino

There would be no excuses this time.

The Dartbags, coming off of a stellar 16-8 victory last week...a victory that featured the "return" of Joey Pep, aka Senor Cocon, aka CUPPA Joe, firing manly, clutch darts all night long...

...would continue the trend. Except this week, kick it up a notch: beating a solid second-place Threepenny Opera squad, featuring 4 solid shooters, and all around good-guys in Hal Von Brockdorff, David Strome, Ed Helenius, and Kahlil Peyrefitte.

CUPPA continued to pepper, and together with Vince, 'The Hornets Nest', pulled out some ridicu-clutch victories monday night...arguably the most clutchin'est this season. Yeah...thats right..."clutchin'est".

And FURIOUS...El Capitan...Dr. Murtha...was out of his brain-shrinkin' head...throwing the most brain-shrinkin'est darts of his career.

Yeah....thats right...."brain-shrinkin'est".

FURIOUS topped his career high of 1008 asp's, with a sharp, fair & balanced 1020, spreading it out evenly over singles, cricket, and doubles 501. The Cpt. has been en fuego lately, complete with the return of his Jamesons "dippy-bird" routine. Keep dippin' away, guy.

And for the second straight week, the Aqua Velva was in the house. Frank furiously applied it throughout the night...Glenn added a few dabs to his Werewolfian mojo...and even Vince slapped some on, making up for his absence last week. CUPPA Joe flat out bathed in it all night long, and managed to stick Ginsberg with another patented "drive-by-velva-ing".

It was a glorious time. Glenn, Vince, FURIOUS, CUPPA, and Gins rounded out the squad for the night. BFT made it out (happy birthday, guy), along with another retired 'bag, Pya Lou, and his motley crew of Starving Dartists. Dartbaguettes Nellie and Hope were on hand as well. Way to entourage, people. Good work.

As previously stated...there would be no excuses. The first time the Dartbags played 3PO this season, they were without CUPPA and the Werewolf. 3PO was missing a huge cog in Kahlil as well. But with Kalstein and Gins playin' all night long (no offense boys), you're left with a 16-8 loss....and you're happy about it.

This week however, both teams had their top rotations, and it was an old-fashioned donnybrook. With tight games played all night long, it took clutch victories to bring the house down, to a 15-9 victory for the 'Bags. And as stated earlier, thats a big statement against a very good team.

Here's how it broke down:

Singles 501

Glenn (1) vs David Strome (2) - the moon was clouded over a bit, The Werewolf wasn't howling his signature sound, but managed to growl his way to a victory in game 2. Give credit to Dave for shooting very well, with about 400 points, and a tight, 2-dart 94-out.

FURIOUS (3) vs Hal Von Brockdorff (0) - The Cpt. was slow out of the gate, but turned the tide of the match quickly, with an impressive sweep of Hal. 439 points set the furious one off to a record setting night. Both guys fired off T-40's.

CUPPA (2) vs Ed Helenius (1) - both guys started out slowly as well, not throwing nearly their best darts. But things picked up. This round featured a nice exchange of haymakers: Ed hit a T...CUPPA hit a T-21...Ed hit a T-25...prompting The Line Of The Night (TM):

Ed: "We're playing legs, right?"

CUPPA followed the T-25 with a trip-20, 20....trip-5, just missing....but a 95 nonetheless.

Vince (1) vs Kahlil (2) - The Hornets Nest was stinging away effectively, but it was too much Kahlil. The big guy threw solid darts, wasting no time getting out. Typical speed darts by Vince, along with Kahlil....it was over in a flash. Both guys hit about 300 points.

SCORE - 'Bags up, 7-5

Cricket

Frankenwolf (1) vs Kahlil & Dave (2) - Glenn and Frank got smacked in games 1 and 2, but returned the favor in game 3. Quickest round of cricket yet...about 15 minutes to play all 3. FURIOUS nailed an R6, and Kahlil fired off an R6 and R7. Again...too much Kahlil.

CUPPA'cenz (3) vs Team Halenius (0) - CUPPA and Vince to the rescue. Manly, Aqua Velvian darts were thrown, to take 3/3 from a good pair. Solid darts by the boys, including a clutch bull-run comebacker. The hilight of the round was tactical in nature.

Vincencup were doing well on the bulls to get back in game 3. With 16's still open, Hal and Ed feasted on them, creating a point-war between the sixes and the bulls. CUPPA wanted to keep hitting bulls to get up in points, then shut the 16's down. Vince, as Team Halenius was having some trouble hitting bulls, thought it best to shut the 16's down first. CUPPA saw both tactics as equal, as long as you hit what you're aimin' at. Vince was adamant about his approach, as was Kahlil, from the other side.

Down 20 points, and 16's wide open, CUPPA stepped to the line, stepped out of the box to think, then decided "fine...I'll do it Vince's way...I can't take anymore, I give up...". First dart, trip-16. Closed. Second dart, wired the bull. Third dart...bullseye! Game over. Sweep completed. This prompted a rarely seen display of wild, physical chest-bump-humping by The Hornets Nest, knocking CUPPA all the way out of the Jeek, and onto the sidewalk to further hammer home his tactical case.

Hey....I'm CUPPA Joe. I don't change my methods for something that doesn't work.

SCORE - 'Bags up, 11-7

Doubles 501

The Cpt. & The Werewolf (2) vs Halil (1) - Frankenglenn rode farenheit 461 from FURIOUS, including a T-40, to top Kahlil and Hal. A solid set...the 'boys got in quicker than the other guys. You do that, you usually win...

...except in game 1 of the next set.

CUPPA'cenz (2) vs Ed & Dave (1) - CUPPA came out swingin' in game 1, throwing 340 asp's, in the first game alone. The boys managed to do the impossible, by losing that first game. Give credit to Dave and Ed by hammering back, combined with the baggers getting stuck on X. This unfathomable loss shook The Hornets Nest (which you don't want to do, Mr. Lally), and CUPPA went triple-espresso, taking the last 2, conVINCEingly: he got in quickly, CUPPA hammered it down, 439 points later.

FINAL SCORE - Dartbags 15, Threepenny Opera 9

Great night at The Jeek. Kudos to the GK crew. Great time all around with the guys from Threepenny Opera, especially Kahlil and Dave, hangin' around late-night.

And a nice job putting together 2 solid wins in a row, 16-8 and 15-9.

ASP Recap:

FURIOUS - 1020 (new season, and career high)
CUPPA - 795 (7/9 on the night)
Vince - 422 (stinging strategy)
Piker - 285 (I see a bad moon risin'...hide the chickens)

No match this week, as its Memorial Day. Happy and safe one to all.

Between all the hot-dogs, burgers and beers....make sure you take time to remember all of our veterans, and current heroes in our armed forces, at home, and all over the world.

Peace.

The Sweet Smell of Victory

2008-05-13T18:51:00.012-04:00

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 5 - 12 - 08

Ladies Night at Marty O'Brien's; Drawn in by Darts, Drinks, Manly Smells

Final Score: Dartbags: 16 - Men Overboard: 8

The Scene: It was ladies night at Marty O'Brien's. They didn't come for the drink special ("2 for 1 Strawberry Alleycats & Blueberry Alleycats" - which is pretty hard to beat). It was just an unusually large gathering of Dartbaguettes, there to root on The Dartbags (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC (TM)). Perhaps our largest and most festive gathering of the year. Certainly our best looking. Hopi, Nell, and Bridge were there. Lillian and her BFF from UCLA, Grace. And friend, and newest Dartbaguette, Shauna.

Missing were 'The Microwave' and 'The Hornet's Nest'. But Gins (God love him) was there as always. We even had an appearance by retired 'Bag, Big Friendly Tim.

The Darts: With just a few points separating 3 teams, the 'Bags are in a playoff race. In an effort to improve his team's chances, The Captain has never been afraid to think outside the box for Dart Night (TM). And he may have come up with his most brilliant/cockamamy idea/scheme... Enhanced Sensory Convergence (or ESC as the Dartbags call it.)

Try to stay with me on this.

We use all of our senses, and they must be harnessed to play optimal darts. We use our sense of sight of course (the visual sense), our sense of touch, by wearing shirts with freedom of motion and making sure darts are comfortable in our hands (the tactile sense) . We play good music (AC/DC, Flogging Molly, Skynyrd, U2, etc) -- to indulge the auditory sense. We overindulge our sense of taste, by eating Taco Taco, and drinking the finest beers (the gustatory sense).

But that only makes 4 senses. One vital cog, the "5th finger that makes the fist" is missing...

Our sense of smell. The olfactory sense. We have neglected this vital sense (one that is most linked to memory, by the way).

We've been running on 4 cylinders for too long. But I found a way to fix that.

By employing the use of this!

That's right!

There's something about an Aqua Velva man. Aqua Velva is now standard issue for the Dartbags, and will be made available upon request for the remainder or the spring season. With all 5 senses aligned in perfect harmony, the 'Bags were ready to rumble, with Men Overboard.

In the words of Navin Johnson: "Things are gonna start happening to us, now!"

SINGLES

Pike (2) vs. Mike Keady (1): Glenn fired out of the gate with a T-14 to start the night, and followed it with a T-33. He would cruise to the first win in 20 darts. In the second game, Mike was sitting under 60, when a jet-lagged Glenn summoned all of his Werewolf Powers, and juuuust missed taking out a supersweet 160 (last dart high). He would take it out on his 29th dart for win #2. Mike - who had been shooting very well - then took the final point in 8 rounds. Excellent singles games by both guys.

Frank (2) vs. Rufus "On Fire" Herrington (1): Big Rufus took the first point in a sluggish affair. Halfway through game 2, The Furious one lived up to his moniker by getting really p*ssed off, demanding his whiskey, shooting a T-20, followed by a two dart 76 out. In game 3, with Ruf on 18, Frank cleaned up the mess he had made, by butchering/saving a 16 out - 11, 1, D-2.

Cup (2) vs. Chris Chevins (1): Cup, who had specially designed and manufactured his own darts ("The Cuppa") could not find them. So he went back to his old familiar needles. (Whadda this guy? He throwin' needles now? He think, he thinks he's Johnny Needle Darts? No way. No WAY.) It makes you wonder why he ever left them in the first place. Except for a marathon XX war in the 2nd game won by the deserving Chris, (Whateva!) it was semi-vintage Cup. Two more points for the 'Bags...but his best darts would lie ahead.

Edna (1) vs. Tom Clarke (2): With Vince in Sin-City, the 'Bags called upon Former Ladies All-Star-Point Leader, Edna, to pick up the slack. Ed would drop the first to Tom, who went out in 8 turns in game 1. But Edna would draw blood in game 2, nailing a D-4 to record his first singles win (in extremely limited play) in league history. The third point would be a dog fight, with both players in it until the end. Tom would hit his double first.

CRICKET

GlennEdna (1) vs Rufus n' Mike (2): A strong effort by Pike and Ed won the first game, with Glenn throwing his patented In-Yer-Hole darts. Edna fired off a C-3 to climb back into the second game, but the effort fell short. Men Overboard would carry that moment forward and take the last point.

Cuppn'Cap'n (3) vs Chris and Tom: Lava is hot. Jessica Alba is hotter. And then there's Cup. He fired off 4-20s to start. And followed it with T-19, T-18, T-17 (ROUND 9). Frank tripped the 16. Cup closed the 15s. And two rounds later it was done. It was like an Allman Brother's record - Seven Turns. Absolutely filthy stuff from Cup, and likely the quickest cricket match in 'Bag history. Cup would cool off - sort of. He had a pair of R-6s in the next game. When he stuck a double cork winner it cap off the sweep, it was the best set of cricket we'd played all year. Possibly ever. Welcome back, Joey Pep.

DOUBLE '01

GlennEdna (2) vs Rufus and Mike (1): By this point in the night, after flying in from Italy, the effects of excessive air travel had gotten the best of him.

Glenn: I need to go home after this. I'm hallucinating.

Frank: Ok.

Glenn: No, seriously. I am.

Glenn got them on, and Edna, who just got better and better as the night went on, stepped it up a notch. He fired off 198 ASPs (Hopefully regaining his Ladies ASP lead) and nailing a pair of clutch outs....the last a D-4 to take the rubber match. Fine work by the promising dart rookie, who would later draw praise from dart veteran, Rufus at the end of the night.

Rufus: The little guy is good. He's got a good stroke. Bam! Bam! Bam! He'll kill you on the 20s.

(Thanks, Rufus.)

FrankenCup (3) vs. Chis and Tom (0): Getting on first helped in all three games. Cuppa kept up his hot shooting doubling out on the first two. There were a few hot streaks (3 consecutive tons) along the way. The last game of the night devolved into an unfortunate exercise in futility as neither team could stick the Double-1. Really awful. Frank finally caught it to end the night on a good note for the GK-7.

And that was that. A much needed 16-8 victory. A tip of the cap to Men Overboard. They were worthy opponents, and good sports.

Let's revisit the effect of Enhanced Sensory Convergence for one moment.

Ed: Chose not to use Aqua Velva, preferring his own signature scent - L'Edna: Pour Homme. (Cuppa did execute a successful "drive-by-velva-ing", however, sticking him with a small spot on his neck...which explains the c-3, and the T in doubles.)
Glenn: Would rock the Velva only for singles where he took 2/3.
Frank: Marinated in the AV, and went 8/9.
Cup: Applied fresh coats between each round, and went 8/9 with an R-9, and two R-6s.

Random chance, or the awesome power of ESC? You be the judge.

All Star Recap:

Cuppa: 736 (and a patch)

Pike: 464

Frank: 445

Edna: 198 (possibly regaining Ladies All Star Point lead)

We play at home vs. Three Penny Opera on Monday.

See you there.

That is all.

-Captain Furious

Bidd'ing For a Win at the Halfway Point

2008-05-06T22:59:00.008-04:00

Captain's Log: Dart Date: 5 - 5 - 08

"Pikeless 'Bags Secure Numerous Points, Tacos."

Final Score: Big Triple Hunters: 13 - Dartbags: 11

(Note: This is a remote update from Hutchinson Island, Florida. Less detail than usual.)

Biddy's is a friendly pub. You can't beat the service of JJ and Barry, and the place just has a friendly feel to it. Biddy's has the added benefit of close proximity to "Taco Taco!", one of Colin O'Donnell's (and now the Dartbags') favorite eateries.

Fueled on burritos and quesadillas the Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in New York City (TM) faced off against friendly rivals, Big Triple Hunters. When last we saw BTH, they were called The Tavern Revisited, shooting out of The Tempest.

And they were kicking our arse.

We would need a strong effort to avoid that fate this time, especially without Glenn Pike who is presently in Roma, Italy on his honeymoon presumably spending romantic evenings with Nelly, drawing stares from the locals ("Enzo, look... eetsa Micka-Dreamy!", "No, Micka-Dreamy izza taller") and assiduously trying to keep them from pinching his wife's butt.

In addition, Edna was in Vegas at a show (he didn't specify what kind of show, so I'm assuming "burlesque") and the enigmatic known as The Microwave was mysteriously absent. It would be a skeleton crew of Cuppa, Vince, a conscripted Gins and Baguette, Hope.

And Cup was playing with a heavy heart. He had lost his Grandmother just a couple of days earlier. After attending the funeral and taking care of family business he joined us at Biddy's. Most people reading this blog have had the experience of losing a grandma, and know how difficult it is.

Feel free to say a prayer on that one.

Back to darts.

Here's what happened.

SINGLES

Frank (3) vs Tom Gray (0): It would be Frank, batting in Pike's slot. During pregrame warmups, Frank and Tom are shooting the breeze when Africa, by Toto comes on the jukebox.

Frank: What's this song about anyway? Is he singing about the continent of Africa or he is singing about a girl? "Gonna take a lot to drag me away from you..." It sounds sort of like it's about a girl to me. Pretty romantic. Actually, it sounds like it could be both. Maybe it's a metaphor. What's the deal there?

Tom (shaking his head): I don't know what Toto sings about, Frank.

(Frank nodding)

Tom: I'm not sure I want to know.

Frank: Well, yeah... me neither.

It was the captain batting in Pike's slot. A couple of rounds of rather nondescript darts by both players. Neither player could really get comfortable.

I blame Toto.

It would be Frank getting the double first. In the last game, out of nowhere, Frank simply caught fire. He turned in a 16 darter, tying a Dartbag record set earlier this year by Cuppa Joe. (Had a shot at a 15 darter, but his attempt at D-18 hit a D-4). 530 ASPs along the way. Yowza.

Cup (1) vs Eric Matern (2): These were all close games. Eric was solid, nailing 60 at a time. Cup was hot on the 19s, turning in 295 ASPs. Eric would take the first. And Cup would let a lead slip away in the 2nd. But sitting on 10, Joey Pep turned in a neat finish going, 5, T-1, D-1 to take the final point.

Vince (1) vs Christian Wirth (2): These were good matches as well. The Hornet's Nest carried the momentum by taking the first leg in 9 rounds securing consecutive points. (A rare occurence on this night for the 'Bags.). In the next two games, Christian began to heat up and won a pair of nip and tuck contests.

Gins (1) vs Scott (2): Give credit to Gins he hung around in each game and shot respectable darts. In the last game, staring at a sweep, he dialed it up a notch. He took advantage of his breaks and took out a 40 (20, miss, D-10) to get us a point.

CRICKET

VincenCuppa (1) vs. Chrustian and Ed Lewis (2): These were well-played games. I thought Vince and Cup threw some of the best cricket we've thrown all year (althought that's not exactly a powerful statement this year for the 'Bags, sort of like claiming to be "The World's Tallest Midget!"). Nonetheless, they shot very well. Solid scoring, clutch closes, Vince even mixed in an R-6 worth of 18s. But it was Christian and Ed who shot just a little better. Three hard fought, tense matches. The Big Trip Hunters taking the first two, the 'Bags salvaged the last. Legit A-2 quality darts. Just gotta tip your cap sometimes.

Franken'Berg (1) vs Eric and Tom (2): Eric and Tom -who popped 6 corks the other night at The Gaf - didn't have any crazy rounds (unless you consider R-4s and R-5s crazy, in which case they were freakin' lunatics). It was Tom and Eric firing out of the gate en route to a "don't blink or you'll miss it" win in game 1. The second game was closer. Sort of. (Gins had some splashy heroics to make the score look better). But I think 8 Belles was closer to Big Brown than the 'Bags were to victory.
The 3rd game appeared to be the same story when Tom popped an R-5 on 19s to go up 114 points and go up 11 marks to 2. Double-edge sword. Big points on the pro side. Lights a fire on the con side. The 'Bags had lost the high ground, but stayed on the attack striking from 17s before making their stand on bulls. The first volley was a C-4 from Frank and both 'Bags kept hammering away. Before you know it, the 'Bags had pulled in front. With two 15s (for a close) separating the 'Bags from victory/defeat, Gins stepped to the line. This is a pressure moment for any dart player. He missed low on the first. (Dang.) Then he stepped back from the line and collected hiimself. Next dart... T-15. Wow! Superclutch darts to seal a big time comeback. Very proud of the Ginsberg.

DOUBLE '01

Franken'Berg (1) vs Ed and Scott (2): Frank's mojo had left the building. It was Gins who kept the 'Bags in it by seemingly he hitting above 60 every round. Twice he left Frank a shot (albeit a brief shot) at an out. No dice. Ed and Scott shot well by getting on early and keeping the pressure on. (Ed mixing in 240 ASPs). In the third game it was Gins blessedly getting the 'Bags on the dance floor and Frank taking out 50 with a 32 on the last dart (Whew!). One point. So be it.

CupnVince (2) vs Eric and Christian (1): Frank's mojo had the left building but it seemed to meet Cup's mojo on the way in. Joey Pep stepped up his game and Vince had stayed sharp. Eric and Christian got in early and stayed a step ahead to take the first point. But Cup pounded the 19s (en route to 228 ASPs) in game 2. It was Vince nearly nailing a 106 out in one game and taking out a 71 with a two dart flourish T-19, D-7 for the final point of the night. Again, more terrific darts from Cup and Vincenzo to beat a very tough pair of opponents.

The 'Bags just found a way to hang in there all night. There are 8 sets of games in any given night. The 'Bags only "won" 2 of those sets. But by not giving darts away and gutting out single points, they managed to lose just 13 - 11 against a dangerous team.

I think the hero of the night was Ginsberg. We normally don't expect too much from him. Just good company, a lot of laughs and perhaps a new stain on his tennis shirt. But when pressed into service, he takes it seriously and competes. And he actually secured a point in every set he played. More than that, he shot quite well.

A tip of the cap to Big Triple Hunters. We've played these guys for years (though it had been a while) and they're always good company and good shots. We wish them good darts until we seem them again, 7 or so weeks @ GK.

Hat tip to Hopi as well. It's always a better night when she's around.

Lastly, kudos to Joe. He lost a loved one, but - after doing what a good grandson should do - still made the scene and shot well.

Our thoughts and prayers are with his family.

All Star Recap:

Furious: 655
Cup: 518
Vince: 220
Gins: RANGERS WIN!

Good Guys + Big Comeback = Good Times Again at GK

2008-05-01T11:53:00.009-04:00

Captain's Log: Dart Date: 4 - 28 - 08

Final Score: Dartbags 13 - Bullistics 11

It was Good Times once again @ GK.

The reasons?

We saw some crazy darts from the likes of Glenn and Vince.

We had a good crowd on hand for the festivities. Gins, Colin (who observed a pre-match ritual by enjoying a Greek meal at the Table that covered all 4 food groups), Hopi, Laura, Nellie with bangs and her friend Kira, who doesn't have bangs. (If I missed someone, I apologize.) In a season that has handed the 'Bags more than its share of whompings (I say, "no more!" Whompings that is.), the 'Bags desperately needed to get in the "W" column. And thanks to a big comeback, we managed to do jus--

WE INTERUPT THIS BLOG POST TO BRING YOU THIS IMPORTANT BULLETIN:

Giuseppe Franco has an important message about Procede hair thickener.

Giuseppe Franco: I don't own the company... I don't know anything about it...I just know that it is THE GREATEST PRODUCT EVER!

WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING

Wow. Good stuff. We don't normally do emergency bulletins at The Dartbags Blog.

But we make exceptions for the President of the United States... and Giuseppe Franco.

So where was I... oh yeah --And last, but far from least, we were playing Bullistics, a worthy rival (who beat us last year to take the A-3 crown) who are always good company to drink with.

Here's what happened.

Singles

Glenn (1) vs. Joe Taras (2): Two great shots. Two class acts. Gentleman Joe took the first banging out a a 72 (20, 12, D-20) so fast that it confused Frank the scorekeeper. Pike responded a classic effort. Mashing a T-71, and a T-21, two turns later... that left him on X. (What else you gonna do when you're on 59 with 1 dart left!). He calmly missed high on dart 1, then buried the second dart to finish a 20 darter. Sweet. But Joe took the rubber match.

Frank (2) vs. Paul Quisenberry (1): The Captain was aight. No fuego, but sharp enough to find the triple on a regular basis and rack up 400+ ASPs. Paul on the other hand, didn't have his usual mojo. In fact, he would make a shaft adjustment later on that would help him get back on track for cricket. (No not THAT kind of shaft adjustment. This kind. Geez! Ya sick bastard.) With both players sitting on sitting on D-4, it was the Quiz Master taking it out first to take the final point.

Cup (0) vs. Liam Keane (3): In answer to the eternal queston: This Cup was half-empty. Joey Pep didn't have his usual... um, pep. Liam on the other hand shot well (439 ASPs). It was Liam delivering the Keane-note address: Good morning, Good evening, Good night. The 'Bags are definitely noticing the step up this year from A-3 to A-2. Much less margerine for error.

Vince (2) vs. Gloria Gutierrez (1): Fun match between Vincenzo and an old friend from the league. Gloria holds the distinction, not only of being a fine shot, but of being the best-looking member of Bullistics. But Vince has always been a lady-killer, dating back to C. Vince was Andy Pettitte-like in game 1; (i.e., he stopped the losing streak). But Gloria on the strength of a T-05 and T-25 returned the favor in game 2. Vince had a D-20 in his pocket in the 3rd leg, and broke it out to take the rubber match.

(Wow. Did that last sentence sound weirdly sexy to you? No?... Me neither. On to...)

Cricket

Cricket sucked. They probably have a different take on it. Being as they won 2/3 every time. But we feel we're more objective on the issue.

Vince/Frank (1) vs. Joe/Paul (2): In the first game, it seemed like Joe and Paul started before us, pounding 3s and 4s and 5s, before we could barely make a mark. The 'Bags stand on Bullsye was valiant, but ended like the Alamo. When we finished pulling arrows our of butts, we played game 2. Vince and Frank rolled to an easy one. But J/P outplayed the 'Bags in the tie-breaker, despite some heroics from Vincenz. Dang it.

Glenn/Cup (1) vs. James Eugenia/Liam(2): It was another frustrating LWL scenario. But this match yielded a highlight/achievement that was a first in Dartbag history -- Glenn crushing the 16s for an R-9, for his SECOND PATCH OF THE NIGHT. (Well player, sir. Well played.) Unfortunately, cricket was not well-played. I think it's safe to say that neither side shot the way they wanted to.

As scorekeeper, Frank passed (some) of the time watching the Director's Cut of Braveheart in its entirety. But the bottom line is that Bullistics shot better. They take the round on points.

Boy, I tell ya. Cricket is killing the 'Bags this year. Do we need to go back to two-a-days? Suicides?? Running the "3-Dart-Weave, still the most intimidating warm up ritual in dart history??? (kudos to Farticus)

Double '01

Here is where the night turned around for the Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC (TM). Down 11-7, with 6 points left, there was still a chance to pull out a win. But there was a greater chance to once again be left with a (4th consecutive---

WE INTERUPT THIS BLOG POST TO BRING YOU THIS IMPORTANT BULLETIN:

Former A-List actor, Gary Busey seen hugging Giuseppe Franco outside Franco's Beverly Hills Salon. Details to follow as the story unfolds.

WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING

Okay... um, thanks for that. Back to Double '01:

Double '01

FrankenVince (3) vs. Keane'n'Quiz (0): Frank showed up. But this round was about The Hornet's Nest throwing perhaps the manliest darts all year. How manly? The story will be passed down generation to generation in the form of epic poems, and memorialized in ballads sung by our sub-class of wandering minstrels who roam the countryside playing mandolins (as is the way of our people).

It was Vince taking out a D-20 in the first match to take a point. Sitting on 129 in the second match, Vince considered what to shoot at. He paused for a moment, and then popped a T-19, then paused for another moment and nailed a T-20, at which he paused for several moments - and buried a D-6. Beautiful. And with Paul sitting on a fat out, it was also uber-clutch.

'Cenzo would stay hot. Sitting on 107 with 3 darts, he would end up sitting on 82 with one dart.

Vince: What do you want me to do, guy?

Frank: Hit a T-14 for a D-20 leave... or you could hit a Double Bull.

Vince chose the latter and hit center cork, then he did something he rarely does during a match - he turned and grinned. Sometimes, you just know where the dart is going to land before you throw it.

When Frank turned the 32 leave into a 24 leave. Vince was out on the first dart.

It was a huge performance. Paul remarked that in each game he was left with the winning dart in his hand. So without the big performance, you can bet there would have been some losses for the 'Bags.

Glenn/Cup (3) vs. Joe/James (0): These games were not as dramatic, but no less valuable. It was Pike doing much of the heavy lifting (including quick ons on the 19s) and Cuppa Joe regaining his out-stroke to drive the final nail in the last two games. As usual, every game was---

WE INTERUPT THIS BLOG POST TO BRING YOU THIS IMPORTANT BULLETIN:

Giuseppe Franco: Hey... I'm Giuseppe Franco!!

WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULE PROGRAMMING

I can't work like this.

No.

Seriously.

This is bullsh*t.

I freakin-

All right, fine.

Just get me a Jamey rocks. Stat!

......

......

Okay. Much better.

Where was I? Oh. I used th headline "Good Times" because it sums up the night. It was just a lot of fun. But Monday would have been a enjoyable and well spent evening, whether we won or lost. Bullistics is a fun team to play against. It was good darts, sportsmanship all around and a mutual Jameson toast when the final score was in. In fact, several of their guys stayed long after the match just to shoot the breeze and have a couple of beers. It felt like old times.

We'll look forward to heading to their place in the second half, where they will probably have Dean The Machine (Reigning A-3 MVP) back with the squad.

Cheers to all. (And kudos to my bro, for the Giuseppe Franco observations. Hysterical. And if anyone wants to buy a house/rent a place let me know. He'll hook you up.)

We are at Biddy's Pub next week.

All Star Recap:

Pike: 567 (With a T-71, and R-9)
Frank: 506
Vince: 430 (With a supersweet, DF-129)
Cup: 200

Week 4, Spring 2008

2008-04-18T11:12:00.013-04:00

Hayadoin'...
Armed & Hammered, Indeed
By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

The Dartbags were on the receiving end of a good old-fashioned beat-down on Monday, the kind we used to dole out, way back in the B & C league days. Remember those?

This was a stroll down bizarro memory lane. We got clobbered 16-8 by team 'Armed & Hammered', who was well armed, and hammered us with a whole lotta hayadoin'. We're only a couple of points from the basement, holding at 40, like a loose-tooth in a mid-life crisis.

I barely remember who was there, so if I leave you out, take a chill-pill. I'm still pickin' out hayadoin's from my hayadoin'. Nell and Hope showed up, along with Gemma and Eric. We had FURIOUS, The Werewolf, The Hornet's Nest, I, Cuppa, and Ginsberg, to round out the squad. Movin' on...

Aside from our singles round, which was very sub-par....except for Mr. Glenn, who had a boat-load of hayadoin'....we threw pretty tough darts, and were close to stealing 3-4 more points throughout the match. It was the first time we had our top rotation in place, and if we threw as well as we did monday, we'd be in the middle of the pack, not dwellin' in the cellar.

The Werewolf, with his 'werehouse' full of hayadoin', swept Chris Bain, who's arguably one of the best shots in A2, and can absolutley throw with the best of 'em, in any division. This was the hilite of the night for the 'Bags. Both guys broke out the A1, but Glenn's IYH was pistol-pete.

Speaking of pistols...

I scored Vince (vs) Bill Lawler in singles. I didn't stop writing the entire time. No joke. This round was played at Mach-7. I've never seen a faster round. Ridiculous. My year's of playing Strato-Matic came in handy, as I was crunching numbers like Bloomberg.

Vince was throwing his darts so hard and fast, I thought they were gonna end up in the ladies room.

Kudos to the Armed & Hammered crew. They were good guys and great shots. Thanks to Bill for his round of Jamesons, we'll get you back at your place. Hopefully bring along a keg of hayadoin' as well. Props to IYH for his 7T1, and A&H's Terry Traynor for his 7T4.

And in the "rub salt in an open wound" category, in the final set of doubles 501, Gins mistakenly wrote down that we won game 1, so when Vince and I won game 3 of doubles, we thought the final score was 15-9, which didn't seem that horrible. The difference between 15-9 and 16-8 is like getting kicked in the balls. Where's my nutty buddy...

Here's how it broke down:

Singles

Glenn (3), Chris Bain (0) - IYH hit 556 asp's, along with a 7T1. Chris had never been swept before. No shame in losing to The Werewolf. He's as good as it gets when he's on. He started the night with 3 straight 95's, and his second game was gone in 17 darts.

FURIOUS (1), Joe Maxwell (2) - Joe slammed 475 points, and overall deadly-darts at The Captain, who didn't get hot til the end. Frank furiously racked up 395 points towards the end, and was able to steal one in 26 darts. Joe started his round with a 4T0.

Vince (0), Bill "The King" Lawler (3) - Vince had game 2 racking up 300 asp's, but let Bill back in, and he doesn't waste any time. Quickest round I've ever seen.

CUPPA (0), Terry Traynor (3) - Cuppa started the round with a 2T1, and never looked forward. One of his worst rounds ever. The usually tough singles player has lost his touch this season. Terry heated up in game 2, and never looked back. 487 points later, including a 7T4, and he had swept the confused cult-hero.

Cricket

Frankenpike (1), Terry & Joe (2) - They shot great. Glenn was ridiculoshe. Yes, ridiculoshe. FURIOUS was, in his own words: disappointing.

Vincencup (1), Bill & Chris (2) - The good guys took game 1 in solid fashion. All 3 games were tough, but they didn't miss a bullseye. Games were over in a blink. Chris had an R6, to boot.

Doubles 501

Frankenpike (1), Chris & Joe (2) - FURIOUS took out game 1 with a D-2 winner. Glenn played the part of Senor Cocon (where have you gone...) with an S-100 and an S-102. Chris chipped in an S-110 and an S-97 of his own. Ridiculi, ridiculai...

Vincencup (1), Bill & Terry (2) - Cuppa threw consecutive 2T1 and 2T5 to help win the final game of the night. Bill and Terry were insane racking up 749 asp's between them. Ha. Ya. Doin'.

Final: Dartbags 8, Armed & Hammerd 16

ASP's:

The Werewolf - 971
FURIOUS - 615
CUPPA - 462
The Hornet's Nest - 400

We have a bye this monday. We may watch Pya Lou's team play a re-scheduled match at Soldier McGee, starting at 4pm. The front leg of a day-night double-header.

In other news, the Poison Dart Frogs put up at 10-spot against the Yorkville Nine, which is an improvement from the first few weeks. The amiable amphibians are stuck in the cellar though, with 30 points, 7 behind Sweep The Leg Johnny. A 'Karate Kid' session may be the tonic you guys need to help you rise-up. I think the 'Bags and 'Frogs should have a joint practice session myself....could do us all some good. Maybe at the Cobra Kai dojo, sensei. Kevin King had a high-out 96. Thank you, oh wonderful NYDO website...

Outtie like Gowdy.

You Know You've Been Playing a Lot of Darts...

2008-04-15T16:22:00.002-04:00

...When you develop a volar wrist ganglion.

We got smoked last night by Armed and Hammered, 16-8.

Pike was awesome, throwing ridicudarts.

But the rest of us couldn't pick up enough slack to turn in a good result.

Details to follow.

Inspirational Quote of the Week

2008-04-14T10:14:00.003-04:00

"We're not your classic Superheros. We're not the favorites. We're the other guys. The guys nobody bets on. We've got a blind date with destiny! ...And it looks like she's ordered the lobster."

-The Shoveler,
Mystery Men

And that lobster is Armed & Hammered - the odds on favorite to win A-2 this year. Make no mistake, we're the underdogs this time, people. We don't need to be superheroes tonight, we just need to step it up a notch and play like we're capable of. Join us at George Keeley at 7:30 for all the action.

That is all.

Results - Week 3

2008-04-11T11:11:00.007-04:00

This week's results: NYDO Standings

We, the Dartbags, are currently in sole possession of 6th place (out of 7). However, we're only 2 points out of 4th, and have yet to play a match at full strength. We will finally be at full-strength this week.

Monday night, we face-off against arguably the toughest team in the division, Armed & Hammered. I have no idea who they are, these are uncharted waters. But they look pretty strong on paper, with some big-time heavy hitters. This one's a tough one. No doubt. We'll give it a go, at The Jeek.

In other news...

Starving Dartists: Pya Lou's team continues to roll in C4, on the back of Chris 'The Freak' Mellen, who can make a legit run at the C-league all-star team this season. Also, our own Pya chippin' off some rust with 300 asp's. WOW. They play at Soldier McGee, a fantastic pub that sits across the street from The Jeek. Pya Lou on deciding to make Soldiers the new home of the 'Dartists: "The best decision I've ever made." Sweet.

Poison Dart Frogs: Our adopted A1 team is a bit slow out of the gate as well this season. Granted, when the opposing team's starting lineup drops a hayadoin' of at least 1000 asp's each...well...you're lucky to get out with a point...let alone, clean skivvies.

If they're firing on all cylinders though, they're as good as it gets. 'Killer' Kevin King. 'Never-Shakey' Harlan Blaikie. Dax 'Head-Condomunna' (I'm open to alternatives, submissions are welcome, or maybe its just plain Dax...like Madonna or Seal). Ralph Pravata. Brian Walsh. And a guy named Chris Walklet, who we've probably met, but I can't remember. Anyway, kick some ass this week guys, we'll be lookin' out. And if you're gonna go down, go out slammin' haymakers, Chuck Wepner.

And finally, treasury prices rose Friday as investors, anxiously awaiting next week's batch of bank earnings, took their money out of stocks and put it in less risky assets.

Though the Dow Jones industrial average fell more than 100 points after General Electric Co. posted a surprise decline in profit and lowered its forecast for the year, Treasury market trading was fairly light, with investors in wait-and-see mode.

"It's a dead, quiet Friday," said David Ader, bond strategist at RBS Greenwich Capital in Greenwich, Conn. He said trading could get more volatile, however, as the market is girding for massive asset write-downs from banks in the coming week.

This is Cuppa Joe.

Week 3 - Spring 2008

2008-04-09T11:26:00.027-04:00

(EDITOR'S NOTE / CORRECTION: In week 1, we neglected to note that Cuppa Joe went out in a Dartbags record 16 darts, in game 2 of his singles set. In week 3, FURIOUS doubled out with a D-2 to win Frankinsberg's only doubles 501 game, being severely over-matched, as any -insberg team would naturally be. And Gins, in the "even a deaf, dumb & blind Gins will find an active keg once in a while" category, the amateur nubile tribesman nearly took out a 115 under the instruction of FURIOUS, going s19, t20, wired the d18. We stand corrected. Please read on.)

Week 3...but first, Week 1
By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

Of course, it had to happen after I, Cuppa, professed as much. My guarantee of timely postings this season wasn’t exactly Namath-esque...or maybe it was?! To be fair however, I had a busy back to back 2 weeks of the ‘Glennell’ wedding bonanza in Texas, followed seamlessly by a week long trip to the beautiful dutch countryside in Holland.

(photo by Cuppa)

So as not to slight our solid opening week, here’s a quick snapshot of what happened below, before we get to this week’s disaster, which was, again, another shorthanded effort by the ‘bags. We’ve not had a full squad, or I should say, our full starting rotation, in effect yet this season. Kudos to Koyaaniskalstein and Gins doing their best so far, and for showing some fire, as well.

We opened the season without FURIOUS, who was shrinking the heads of some of our country’s top financial gurus. Man-down…..has become a theme so far this season.

We beat Rufus Herrington's, 'Men Overboard', 15-9.

EDNA made his NYDO debut, batting 4th in singles. He lost all 3, but played gutty darts. He closed out a cricket game, paired up with The Werewolf, by sticking 2 bulls.

Cuppa opened up the season winning 8/9 during the night, including one of the most efficient sets of doubles 501 we’ve seen in a long time, paired up with The Hornet’s Nest. Cuppa went in on his first DART in all 3 games. Vince’s ppda this set was in the 18-20 range. Bring out the broom…

The Werewolf, Mr. Pike, had one foot at The Jeek, and one foot in Houston, where his future bride, and now wife (congrats) Nellie, was awaiting him, the next morning. Not your typical IYH understandably, but he did manage to smack about a dozen bulls to pull-out one of the biggest come-back wins I’ve ever seen in game 2 of cricket.

By the way...check out the 'nice out' by the Piker in our pre-wedding golf round:

(photo by Cuppa)

It ended up being a decisive 15-9, Monday night A2 debut. Hopefully we can manage to play at full-strength one of these weeks. Week 2 we were severely down, and this week, we played without the power of The Hornet’s Nest, who was in parts unknown. And it hurt.

Here’s week 3:

Week 3 (better yet...Weak 3)
'Bags Lose 15-9 to Gaf Side Story II
By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

Another wacky week.

We renewed acquaintances with old friend Julio Andrade and his Gaf Side Story II, with Sean McCain, Robert Grant (starting to sound like the RNC) and Abel Vazquez. Ok, back to normal.

Wacky, mainly because Cuppa showed up at 7:15, straight from Newark airport, and straight off an 8 hour flight from a week-long jaunt to the Netherlands....just so the 'bags wouldn't be 2 men down for the second straight week. And because he loves it that much.

As a result, the Dartbags would be just one starter down, as Vince, The Hornet's Nest, was...well...we're never sure where, but, he could literally be anywhere, at any moment. So it would be Cuppa Dutch, The Werewolf, FURIOUS, Gins, and Colin The Microwave O'Donnell, who made a brief appearance before leaving to search for a sandwich: garlic, with garlic on garlic bread, with a side of garlic.

Pya Lou's squad showed up for some pre-match brewskies and grub before their match across the street. Hope made it out, along with Nellie. Again, congrats on the wedding. It was a glorious time. And btw: Nice job by Julio, gifting Nellie with a dozen yellow roses. Class act. Who doesn't love Julio...

What started off as pretty festive, however, ended up being pretty lackluster. No one was on their game. Glenn heated up in time for doubles 501, FURIOUS never really found his stroke, and Cuppa who started off strong out of the gate ended up jet-lagged. Nice job by Gins taking out a D-2 to win a singles 501 game, including a 2T2 turn. Maybe a bit "squirrel-nut" or "blind chicken-corn", but we'll take it.

Here's how it broke down:

Singles 501

Glenn (1) -vs- Rob (2). The Werewolf opened the match with a 3T3. Didn't have his usual bite.

FURIOUS (2) -vs- Julio (1). Hey...2/3 against Julio. 'Nuff said.

Cuppa (1) -vs- Sean (2). 4T0, 4T0, T by Cup, and leads in all 3 only netted 1. Call it 'double' dutch, and efficient closing by Sean.

Gins (1) -vs- Abel (2). This one had to be played in the middle of cricket, as Mr. Vasquez was un-abel to make it to the darts...on...time. Again, kudos to Gins for stealing 1 against Abel, who was en fuego.

Cricket

Cuppaglenn (1/3) against Julio & Rob: Cuppaglenn couldn't hit a freakin' bullseye, and Julio hits more 15's and 16's than R. Kelly.

Frankinsberg (0/3) against McCain & Abel: Sean was on fire (R7). Tough for a team Frankinsberg to beat a team as 'abel' as those 2.

Doubles 501

Cuppaglenn (2/3) against McCain & Abel: Solid set by The Werewolf and Dutch, nearly took all 3. Rare 'double' dutch again by Cuppa, but Glenn was solid, including a 2T6, 97 & 95 along the way.

Frankinsberg (1/3) against Julio & Rob: Gins stole a D-2 victory in a lopsided matchup. Bravo for a team Frankinsberg taking 1/3. Julio smacked a Ton-80. Kudos, but we expect as much.

And thats it. Dartbags lose 15-9.

The 'bags should have a full squad this week against team 'Armed & Hammered'. The match is at home again, at The Jeek.

Cheers.

ASP Stats:

Pike - 675
Cuppa - 480
FURIOUS - 295
Gins - 122
Colin - 1 (garlic sandwich)

Appearing Bi-Weekly at George Keeley on Monday Nights

2008-04-07T10:03:00.006-04:00

Pike McDreamy

Autograph Session Begins at 7:00

Ass-Whoopings Begin at 7:30

Be There. (83rd and Amsterdam)

Inspirational Quote of the Week

2008-04-06T13:13:00.003-04:00

"Never give in - never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."

-Sir Winston Churchill
Speech at Harrow School, 1941

He was talking about bigger things than darts, but he need not have been.

That is all.

-Captain Furious

Escape From McSwiggan's! Starring Koyaaniskalstein

2008-04-01T00:27:00.022-04:00

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 3 - 31 - 08

Riding high off a 15-9 start to the season, the first place Dartbags' (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC TM) 2nd match was more like an escape than a full on battle for points.

Due a bizarre series of events (much like the ones that befell the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant's ringers in their battle against Shelbyville) only 2 of the "George Keeley 7" were armed and ready.

In fact, Colin "The Microwave" O'Donnell was temporarily replaced on the roster by another old friend, Koyaaniskalstein (eat your heart out, Seal, Bono & Madonna), just so that we wouldn't play with 2 guys to start the night.

The infamous Koyaaniskalstein is not an A League dart player. In fact, he's not a dart player. But the fact is, he doesn't suck. And he was willing to help out in a pinch. He would play a pivotal role in the night before it was over.

SINGLES: 3-9

Some call it being a sacrificial lamb. Rambo called it being "Expendable". Our shorthand is "diving on a grenade". It means helping the team by playing a far superior opponent in order to give another player a better chance of getting points. That's what Koyaaniskalstein did in going first against Dave Strome.

And it was a gustsy, if not pretty effort by Koyaaniskalstein. Dave wracked up 299 ASPs. Koyaaniskalstein hung in and even managed a sweet 108 round to score some all star points of his own. But in the end. The highly skilled veteran was too much. He swept, with Koyaaniskalstein getting as low as 74 in one game.

Gutty effort, pal. We owe you one. 0-3

Next, Frank took on Hal Von Brockdorff. Frank and Hal have played each other a number of times. It's always close. Hal, sporting a Beltran jersey for Mets opening day, roared out off the box like Jose Reyes after a liner in the gap -- Ton-40 and Ton on his first two rounds and an 85 after that. Frank made it close but dropped the first. In the 2nd game it was the Captain hung closer and pulled out a double 2 winner to steal it. The final game was a well played affair with Frank going out in 24 darts to take the rubber match.

Whew. 2-4.

In the third set, it was Vince against Patricia, who still is a nasty dart player. And we mean that in a good way. Vince dropped the first in a listless affair, but in true Hornet's Nest fashion, Vince came out firing with an angry Ton to start the second and cruised to a victory. The last set was one in which both had their chances, in the end it was Pat nailing it first. 3-6

With Gins at MSG watching the Rangers beat the Penguin, it was on to cricket.

CRICKET 1 -5

Vince and Frank decided the only logical thing to do was team up in cricket, putting Koyaaniskalstein in the unenviable spot not only of playing darts for the first time in league, not only debuting in A-2, but of playing cricket Canadian.

Frank and Vince dropped the first against Hal and Ed in a close game. In the second game, the 'Bags got out to a lead on the strength of some R-4s from Vince. But the 15s and 16s seemed to have a forcefield around them, and Frank committed 2 mental errors by trying to point on a closed number and failing to use a third dart to close a number. Not good. They dropped the 2nd game. Vince took out his frustration on the 18s by throwing 6 of them and adding a 15 to make an R-7. The 'Bags kicked into gear and rolled to a W in the final game.

It was Koyaaniskalstein's turn to play 1 on 2 against Dave and Pat in cricket. Everyone knew he wasn't going to win. And he didn't. But this match had another, greater importance for the 'Bags. We had agreed with Captain Ed that if Ginsberg made it to the bar before the end of cricket, that we would go back and play his singles matches. So we didn't need Koyaaniskalstein to win. We just needed him to play. Slowly.

Because the Rangers just went in to overtime.

Dave and Pat made short work of him, with Dave popping a pair of R-7s. But as Three Penny Opera hit their last 15 and their first cork, in through the door walked an out of breath but smiling Mike Ginsberg.

Gins: Chris Drury. (pause) Overtime. (pause) Mr. Clutch (pause)... I had to run the last 5 blocks.

And much like Aragorn, who led the Gondor Army to the gates of Baradur in order to give Frodo time to destory the One Ring in the fires of Mount Doom... Koyaaniskalstein had done his heroic duty.

Gins played Ed and put up a good fight. In the final game, sitting on 32, he went around the horn going 16, 8, 4... just missing each time. But the veteran, Ed made his first. Another valiant effort. We were proud of him.

Gins: I would have liked to have gotten one of those points... At least the Rangers won.

DOUBLES '01

Trailing 14-4, the 'Bags were on the brink of disaster. With Frank and Vince managing to only take 4 of 9 so far, our chances of a respectable result were dwindling.

The 'Bags had played in conservatively so far and it was the right thing to do.

But the Dartbags have always subscribed to the of philosophy of Virgil; "Fortune favors the bold." Vince and Frank deliberated.

Vince: You and me again?

Frank: Let's split up. We need points.

Vince: It's risky. Losing 20-4 would crush us. Put us in last place.

Frank: Yeah, but we could get 6. C'mon, guy... we could be heroes.

Vince got it.

Vince: Just for one night? ... Okay, you talked me into it.

It was Koyaanisfrankenstein vs. Dave and Pat in the first set.

Koyaaniskalstein: I just want to taste victory once in my dart career.

Franken'Stein (Man, I've been waiting for YEARS to write that one!) would face off against David and Patricia. Let it be said that Koyaaniskalstein did more than "dive on a grenade" for the team and act as a human rain delay this night, he also showed an uncanny ability to double in 'O1.

Frank missed his first shot but Koyaaniskalstein nailed a D-6 on his second dart, and then, aiming for bull, nailed a cork. (Nice.) The 'Bags extended the lead and Frank took out an 18 (9, 1, D-4) to win a nailbiter.

Koyaaniskalstein AGAIN doubled in on D-6 to get the 'Bags on the board. Trailing most of the match, the Captain caught lightning in a bottle and popped a Ton-80 to leave the 'Bags on 28. Koyaaniskalstein wired the hell out of the D-14 and D-7, and Frank punched it in to steal the second leg.

The last leg ended with the 'Bags racing out to a big lead and red-hot Furious One taking out a 108 (20, -T-16, D-20) to score the final point and complete the sweep. Three huge points against some very tough players.

Wow.

That's more than a taste of victory for Koyaaniskalstein. That's a Super Sized Happy Meal. 6-14.

The old Scarsdale Track teammates, Vince and Gins took on Hal and Ed in the final set of the night. The 'Bags got on a little late in the first game and a good comeback attempt fell short. But Vince led the charge in game two with a Ton and Gins (who chipped in with a couple of 70+ rounds in the set) sunk a double 8 to nail down the second game. Hal and Ed rebounded to take the rubber match.

Vince and I agreed that the goal was to each win a point. We did that and then some, taking 4 and turning what could have been a fiasco into a 8-16 loss. The result being a respectable 23 points after two weeks, with the squad yet to field its best team.

Fortune favors the bold.

It wasn't a big night for points. But we never quit and we rallied around each other. And we welcomed a new Dartbag into the fold. In short... it was a good night after all.

We'll take it.

FINAL SCORE: DARTBAGS - 8 - THREE PENNY OPERA -16

Kudos to Three Penny Opera who were gracious hosts and good company all night long.

ASP Recap:

Frank: 783

Vince: 340

Koyaaniskalstein: 108

Gins: ... GO, RANGERS!!!!

Congratulations!

2008-03-30T20:26:00.003-04:00

Our own Edna Kilduff is already the in the lead for Ladies All Star Point Champion. (See first paragraph here)

You go, girl!!!

Not to mention, the Bags roared out of the gate and are now sitting in first place.

We'll be without The Werewolf tomorrow. (He has more important things to do after getting hitched in a gorgeous wedding in Brenham, TX on Saturday.) But he will missed, nonetheless.

In addition, The Microwave is likely out of action and Gins is at the Rangers gme. But we will be making a mystery call up for the match so that we do not have to play shorthanded.

That is all.

-Captain Furious

Let The Games Begin

2008-03-24T15:09:00.017-04:00

Changes Abound as
Dartbags Get Set
For Spring Season
by Cuppa Joe Gasparino

My name is Cuppa Joe Gasparino, and I’m a Dartbag.

It’s been way too long since my last post, and both FURIOUS and I, Cuppa, apologize. Both of us have been busier than ever since starting this whole thing, and we’ve been adjusting. We will be on top of it this season.

Since last season, a lot has changed:

1) Vince, The Hornet’s Nest, has lost 15 lbs.

2) Our beloved BFT, Tim Sheahan, has retired. The Big Friendly One has called it quits. The walls at the jeek aren’t complaining. There was no Favre-esque, emotional exit press conference. The big guy has been wanting to get out for a while now, but we kept pulling him back in. I think he’ll be much happier just stopping by for a few, no strings attached. He’s still a Dartbag, and always will be. The big buy also went out on top. His best round, arguably of his career, came against Dax in the playoffs. In a pressure spot, playing in singles 501, he begrudgingly stepping in for FURIOUS, who was on the west coast.

Barry Sanders. Sandy Koufax. You can add BFT to that list.

3) With BFT sailing off into the sunset, we faced a huge decision. Up to this point, we always had a surplus of our old friends wanting to join the team. But by now, we’ve had 5 guys retire, and as other guys get busier, married, move out of the city, etc, the pool has dwindled down. At one point, it didn’t look like we could keep it in the family anymore. That’s been the whole point of our team, though. That’s what separates us from an amalgamated all-star team. It clearly makes it tougher to win that way, especially as we’ve moved up the ranks….but we like it that way.

(more on ‘moving up the ranks’ later…)

And we didn’t simply need to fill a roster spot. Ideally, we needed a solid number 4 or 5 guy, who could step in and not really miss a beat…and also a guy who will just show up a lot more, in general. As I said before, we’re all a lot busier these days, and our top 4 are bound to miss more matches than we have in the past.

We were pretty much at a loss, and considered bringing in an outsider. After much debate, we concluded that the moment we bring in an outsider, the Dartbags would be over. Dead. Morte. We would have to re-assemble as a spin-off. The Dartbags are ‘Maude’. Maybe we’d continue on as ‘Good Times’.

In the end, we just weren’t ready for JJ and Florida, no matter how ‘good’ they can throw. The Dartbags would live to fight another season.

I decided to send out text messages and emails to all of our active players. Everyone was asked to think of potential replacements, as far fetched as they may seem, just to get the ball rolling. Without excluding anyone, we needed to find someone from our ‘family’. After all the brainstorming, this is what our replacement list looked like:

Cuppa Joe’s Sister – Michelle
A pub-game legend, especially that rapid-fire basketball game. Her freakish, seemingly autistic abilities caused the owners of Ryan’s Daughter to consider selling tickets as a side-show. Her skills translate naturally to darts and pool. Known for a tough attitude, and killer instinct. Can be very intimidating…..trust me. Younger blood. Works at Columbia U, which bodes well for playing at The Jeek.

AC, Andy Curry
Mysterious, Bono-esque character, and brother to the guys, dating all the way back to childhood for some. Amazing athlete and improv jazz-dancer. Prolific bongo player and philosopher. Lives on the upper-west side…but is so extremely mysterious, that no one could get in touch with him. Actually, is he ok? I don’t think we’ve heard from him in months, someone get on that…

Koyaaniskalstein
Yes, you read correctly. Koyaaniskalstein. His identity has been altered to protect the innocent.....and the guilty. Rarely leaves the confines of his apartment. Horrible athlete, famous for spastically chucking a basketball into the bottom of the rim, while on a wide-open lay-up opportunity, during a pick-up basketball game at Dewey Beach. Uses the “perfect-pushup”. Known for watching Godfrey Reggio's Koyaanisqatsi for a marathon 57 hours straight.

Big Yellow Dave
6’5, 315lbs. Runs the 40 in 5 flat. Got his nickname in 1996 when he nearly drank himself to death, contracting pancreatitis. Bed-ridden in his Hoboken apartment for 3 weeks, with a severe case of jaundice, Cuppa Joe and Dave’s roommate Chad decided to coin his famous nickname. A Yale graduate. Was busted impersonating a secret service agent while Bill Clinton was giving his commencement speech.

So that was it. That was our list. I mean….there were a few other completely far-fetched prospects that came up, who had to be dismissed….which is saying a lot, when Kalstein was number 3 on our ‘short’ list.

There was, however, one guy that I think we all dismissed, because he’s one of the busiest, and active guys on the planet, running a mega-successful business, playing hockey 2-3 times a week. He’s an absolute perfect fit on just about every level, though. And he could literally step right in and play pretty much up to speed. So I decided to give it a shot, what the heck. I called him.

He said yes.

Meet the newest Dartbag:

Edna
One of the true legends of our ‘family’. Went to college with retired ‘bags Pya Lou, RJ The Surgeon Morrow, Farty Yoo, and I, Cuppa. Was one of the first guys I met at Carnegie Mellon, during my first hockey practice as a freshman. An ice-hockey legend…he jumped out of the womb to start a bench-clearing brawl. Former pole-vaulter. He still plays hockey in NYC with the likes of retired NHL greats Glenn Anderson and John Tonelli. Former New Jersey Devils great Bruce Driver was so frustrated by Edna, he tried to fight him at an afternoon charity hockey game. Professional photographer, his famous “Swirl” is recognized around the world as avant-garde photographic milestone. A prolific pool player, he has been seen running the table at the famous Brooklyn Inn, while taking breaks designing the better spatula.

His most famous darts moment came during a late night match back in ’96, at the infamous 18M. He started a couch-clearing brawl after Pya Lou stuck 3 darts in Edna’s hand, while he was retrieving his darts from the bullseye.

Best known for his “self-mutilating ball-kick”.

And like a true Dartbag, one of the drinkin’est and friendliest guys around. He makes his Dartbags debut tonight.

And finally……off-season change number 4:

4) We’ve been moved up a division to A2.

This was a surprise to everyone, including FURIOUS, who was furious about not being consulted, or notified. We just found out Thursday night. No one knew about it, but apparently Roger made the executive decision. Since we came in second place last season, I guess we were the logical choice.

We have mixed feelings about it. We wanted to win A3 first, collect some hardware, and move on. But that won’t be the case. We did actually get one piece of hardware….a runner-up plaque that will hang at the George Keeley wall of fame. Not exactly what we were looking for, but its out of our hands. You play the hand you’re dealt, and we’ll deal with A2 as best we can.

Before we move on with the new season, I want to bring some closure to last season:

After an up and down season that left us in 2nd place, we made the playoffs, and drew our good friends, A1’s ‘Poison Dart Frogs’, in round one. We lost 13-5 at the Gaf East, battling without our big-toe, FURIOUS who was out on the left coast, lining up another gig shrinkin' on money.

We missed FURIOUS for his clutch darts, but we also missed his fire, and Patton-esque leadership. We let some games slip away in round 1, but overall, we were simply out-gunned. You have to tip your cap to the ‘Frogs. They made it all the way to the final 4, after beating our A3 rival, Bullistics, in a dramatic game of 1001.

Some hilights from our playoff loss:

Glenn took 2/3 from killer Kevin King, opening the match in singles. He racked up 656 asp’s, including a T-71. ‘The Werewolf’ ended up with 1036 asp’s after cricket, where our match ended.

And his hair was pefect………..(dip!!!)

After being down 10-2 after singles, CuppaGlenn played an inspired opening round of cricket, taking 2/3 from Dax and Ralph Pravata, the ‘Frogs cricket secret weapon. The ‘bag boys nailed two R6’s and an R7 along the way. Way to go down swingin’…

As stated earlier, BFT played arguably his best round of his career, almost keeping pace with Dax, who’s nearly as good as it gets these days. Kudos for not pulling a Vinny Testaverde, guy.

Speaking of which….will that guy stop it already? If I have to look at his teased, bush of a mullet sticking out his head-condom on the sidelines anymore, I’m gonna take a FLAMETHROWER TO THIS PLACE! I don’t care if you can bench-press 400 lbs and you’re in great shape, ginny (I can say that, I’m Italian). You STINK!!!

Anyway….

We lost 13-5 to some of our best friends in the NYDO, in Harlan Blaikie, Dax Munna, Ralph Pravata, and Kevin King. We were rooting for you guys the rest of the way. They had a damned good run. Better luck this season, guys.

Tonight, the new season begins. Spring, 2008. We’re at home, at The Jeek, against Men Overboard. 19:30 sharp. We will be without our stalwart captain, El Capitan, FURIOUS Frank Murtha, but we will be ushering in some new blood with Edna. We’ll do our best without you Cpt. I will be the acting Cuptain tonight, and will hopefully fill out the scoresheets properly this time.

Tonight will also be Glenn’s last match as a ‘single’ guy. He and Nell are getting married this Saturday, down in Texas. Many, if not all the Dartbags will be down there to celebrate. From all of us at the Dartbags blog, congratulations, and best of luck, y’all!

Hope to see most of our posse tonight. Our entourage. Maybe The White Hawk will swoop in for support. We can only hope…

Lets get it on….lets get ready to rumble…let the games begin….I’m outtie like Curt Gowdy.

CUPPA

It's That Time Of Year Again...

2008-03-18T21:52:00.002-04:00

... when the salmon swim upstream to Capistrano, and the Dartbags return to George Keeley for the Spring edition of the NYDO.

The 'Bags (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC - TM) will be looking to climb one more rung up the ladder and (finally) win A-3.

They will have their work cut out for them.

Moving to inactive status will be original 'Bag, Big Friendly Tim Sheahan. Hopefully, he'll still find a way to make it up to George Keeley on Monday's to hoist a few if not throw a few.

Taking his place on the roster will be Ed "Edna" Kilduff - a long-time friend.

Edna spends much of his time designing innovative products (if you ever used a lagomorph to open a Syrah - you know what I'm talking about), playing high-level hockey, or, on select occasions leaping atop cement posts in Galway, like a drunk Irish marmoset.

We're happy he's added throwing darts to these other pasttimes.

It will be up to Cup to do a write up for the first week. I will be out of town. (I'm bummed).

In the meantime, here's a blast from past, our final Tuesday game before the switch to Mondays.

See you at GK.

That is all.

-Captain Furious

WRITE UP FOR WEEK # 14: FINALE AT FOLEY'S

2008-01-09T21:20:00.000-05:00

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 01 - 07 - 08

It was a good crowd @ Foley's. All 7 'Bags were there as well as Baguettes, Nellie, Jess, and even Rachel (who accompanied The Microwave.)

The last time the 'Bags were played @ Foley's we got spanked 15 - 9. It was a debacle. The Good Guys of George Keeley were hoping to get a better result this time. It wouldn't be easy, Balls and Strikes would be hungry for points as they were locked in a dogfight for the final playoff spot. The 'Bags on the other hand, were sitting 5 points in front of the 3rd place team. First place was out of reach, but the 'Bags were intent on not letting their consolation prize slip out of their grasp.

Metrosexual Monday?

It was also a night of banal, but strangely engrossing conversation. Seven regular guys, having beers, hanging out in a premium sports bar with the Sugar Bowl on the tube. So, naturally the conversation drifted from football and whether Glenn Dorsey would be the first pick in the NFL draft... to fashion faux pas and hair care.

It started innocently enough. Frank wore one of his patented J Crew rollneck sweaters. The bar was hot, so Cup suggested that Frank take off the sweater.

Frank explained that, if he were to do so, he would in fact be shirtless.

Cup was flabbergasted.

Cup: You wore a sweater with no shirt underneath it!

Frank: It's really more of a shirt than a sweater.

But that wouldn't do. Cup refused let it go, and visibly struggled to come to grips with what he considered an egregious sartorial blunder.

Cup: You CANNOT wear a sweater with no shirt underneath! Look at you, you're sweater flops whenever you shoot, you're... you're Floppy Roll Neck Guy!

Glenn: Actually, the J Crew Roll Neck is really made to be worn with out a shirt underneath it.

Frank: I'm not Floppy Roll Neck Guy.

Cup: Yes, you are.

Frank: I'm not Floppy Roll Neck Guy.

Cup: Yes, you are... Floppy.

Frank: I'm not Fl- WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?

But the conversation would sink even deeper into Queer EyeVille.

Cup: Look at Glenn's hair... it's perfect. How do you get your hair like? No. Seriously. It looks like it was sculpted out of clay.

Glenn: The key is not to wash it too often. Although I do use conditioner several times a week.

Frank chimed in, "I saw a werewolf drinking a Jameson's at Foley's Bar... and his hair was perfect. (Dep!)

Cup decided that Glenn was "The Werewolf" - at which point Glenn revealed that he liked this nickname much more than IYH.

So Glenn is now "The Werewolf". End of story.

But enough of fashion and and hair care. This blog is about darts.

Finale at Foley's

SINGLES: 9 - 3

Frank started out against Captain Steve, and began the evening with a Ton-40. Steve racked up 500+ ASPs and Frank compiled 441. But, neither man was sharp on the doubles. It was Frank winning the war of attrition, however, and starting the season finale with a sweep.

Up next, Piker would take on Jim "Mr." Coffey. Pike was a beast 4 AS rounds and a slew of 79+s. Jim nearly stole a game by taking out a 108. That was as close as he'd get. Back to back sweeps and the 'Bags were rolling.

Cup got his wish - to play Carlos, who took it to Cup big time in their first meeting. This time it was Cuppa coming back strong. Four AS rounds and two Ws to give the 'Bags an 8- 1 edge.

It was Vince drawing the heavy artillery in the form of Brendan Dowling. Last time we played BD, he took out an 18 darter and struck a Ton-80. This time he wasn't quite as a sharp (only had a 20 darter). But Vince withstood the onslaught and rallied to take the final point creating a 9-3 advantage heading to cricket.

CRICKET: 4 -2

Frank and Vince faced off against Brendan and Mr. Coffey. Frank and Vince were top of their game and coasted to victory in the first. Brendan and Jim would get revenge in the second set. But the 'Bags got an unexpected break - Frank's shaft snapped off and the stump got lodged in his barrel. Despite the efforts of Glenn and notable Dart Surgeon, Cuppa (who went to work with a steak knife and a cigarette lighter), the dart was done for the night. It worked out well when Frank's substitute dart (one of Glenn's 22 grams "goldies") wouldn't stop hitting triples. (Must have retained Glenn's mojo). The 'Bags took the rubber match with a slew of "golden" triples from Frank and a flurry of corks from Vince. 11-4

Pike and Cup went up against Captain Steve and Carlos. Again it was Glennjamin, en fuego. Cuppa Joe was also on top of his game. The 'Bags took the first and the last to earn two more points. 13-5

DOUBLES 01: 3 -3

Big Friendly Hero

Big Friendly Tim was not planning to come out tonight, but with only 4 appearances during the year, he needed this one to become playoff eligible. Being a "Team Guy" he agreed to scrap his restful evening and make the trek. The Hornet's Nest summed it up best.

Vince: You got called right off the couch... like Vinny Testaverde.

"Vinnie" and Glenn would go first in Double 01. The Vin-Man was his solid veteran self (lots of arm strength), hitting 57s like they Wayne Chrebet and getting us on the board in game 1. Glenn continued his white hot shooting delivering a 101-On and 5 All star (rounds including back to back T-33s in the last game). He racked up 1005 ASPS for the night (nice work, guy), but most importantly, he hit the doubles. Two more for the 'Bags.

Lastly, Cup and Vince agains battled Brendan & Jim, taking the first point. The Foley's crew, desperate for each W managed to pull out the final two points despite good efforts from the 'Bags.

FINAL SCORE: DARTBAGS - 16, BALLS 'N STRIKES 8

And that was that for the 2007 Fall Dartbags. We didn't take first, which was our main goal. (Congrats to Bullistics). But we managed to snag the 2nd prize. Less than ideal, but still, it's progress. We want to thank everyone who came out to hang with us and support us this year. It's one of the reasons we look forward to Monday Nights.

Feel free to do the same thing at Gaf East tonight for the first round of the playoffs.

Unfortunately, Captain Furious has to be out of town and will be unable to attend the match.

And he's pretty sick over it, to tell the truth. He was rooting for a snowstorm, but the Dart Gods wouldn't grant him one. So the 'Bags will have to take on "Never Shakey" Harlan Blaikie, Dax Munna and the rest of the Poison Dart Frogs.

Congrats, guys.

Give 'em hell.

And have fun.

That is all.

AS RECAP:

Pike: 1005
Frank: 441
Cup: 428
Vince: 340
"Vinnie" Sheahan: QB rating of 106.2, 237 yards, zero picks.

Weeks 12 & 13, Fall Season 2007

2007-12-28T16:49:00.000-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS
& HOPEFULLY
A BETTER NEW YEAR!

By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

Excuses.

I'm not one for excuses. And neither is Cpt FURIOUS. But we've just been too damned busy lately to get these writeups up in time. Especially these last 2 weeks, with the holiday season craziness....and working through it as well. Good for Cuppa and the Cpt (being busy that is), but bad for the 'Bags, our fans and followers.

We apologize. Not only for this writeup (which falls solely on my shoulders), but for this fall season in general.

But most importantly, there is no excuse for the black hole we've fallen into, as a team. I will note though: we had a great time the past few weeks in spite of it all. I think our 'drunken-holi-daze' came early this year.

As for our play...or lack thereof...its been a slow burn over the second-half of the season. The abyss we find ourselves in comes after what I consider to be the worst loss in Dartbags history.

Week 12 we lost to division leader 'Bullistics', 15-9. We played without our Captain, FURIOUS, so we knew it would be tough. We considered 15-9 damage control.

Those guys shot great, notably Paul 'The Quiz' Quisenberry, and Dean 'The Machine' McCarthy. That guy is a cyborg, by the way. Great shot. We did all manage to have a great time as well. Sorry if I'm leaving some guys out, but Joe Taras shot well...again...and is about as good a guy as there is in this league.

This writeup (here we go with excuses, but I don't care, I'm only human) will suffer from holiday season-itis. Too bad. Sorry. Better luck for the writing staff next year. So tidbits, statistics are gone.

I actually found the sheets from one of these 2 weeks, but I'm not going to post it. I don't want to slight the other team. So lets just call it even, shall we?

One note: Cliff, the Bullistics captain, was upset about something Frank wrote last season. I went back and checked. I think it takes some interpretation and imagination to take what Frank wrote and consider them 'fighting words'. Not literally 'fighting', but...you get the point.

I just don't see it. If anyone is interested go see for youself in the archive. We like playing you guys. We like 99% of the guys in the league....our whole deal, mantra...whatever you want to call it is friendly, drinkin'est, etc. I'm busy. I can't explain anymore. Its all good. Yadda yadda.

There was no mal-intent.

On to last week's debacle:

Week 13 we lost to 'Hands of Doom', 16-8. Call this our 'nightmare before christmas' match.

We stunk. We were as lackluster and confused....as apathetic as I've ever seen us. But, again...it was good-times in spite of it. It was almost like...dare I say...we didn't care. I mean...we do care, but...we were just sort of shrugging our shoulders like..."oh well", or the familiar "wow", as the next HOD player took more games from us.

Total apathy. However, that disappeared in rounds 2 and 3. Case in point: I nearly broke my left hand punching the wall during cricket. So, yeah....you could say that we cared.

But in general, maybe we thought things would come easier for us this season. I think everything happens for a reason. Hopefully this wakes us up. We've been sleeping our way through singles the entire second-half of this season.

They were very good. Ross Cohen was en fuego most notably, in singles, sweeping Glennjamin, IYH, The Alpha Dog, which is a first, I think. As a team, we were down 11-1 after singles.

Thats not a typo. 11-1. We were down. They had 11 points....we had 1 point.

Out of a total of 12 games played in the singles 501 round....those guys won 11 singles 501 games, and we only won 1 of them.

Kudos to them. We stunk to high-holy-heaven. Combine it...blend it...chop it...slice it...dice it...roll it...chew it...screw it...

...you get 11-1 in singles. And a 16-8 final.

Silver lining: we went 7-5 after singles. Including the best cricket Frank and I, Cuppa, played all season long.

I guess the bottom line is....we're a bit lost. I hope this crazy holiday season has erased our minds of all this heinousness. I know it has for me. I haven't thrown a dart since. I think thats a good thing, Martha.

But like I said....the last month has been a blast. Christmas came early. Still recovering. Santa was good to this 'Bag. I hope he was good to the rest of us, and to all of you, who read this thing...and who will hopefully continue to stay tuned. The writeups will get back on track post holi-daze.

I really gotta run.

Our last match of the season is monday. Not this monday. That would be the eve of the new year. Darts will be put away until '08.

So, our next match is on monday, January 7th. Long lay-off...but if we don't wake up before then, we're in danger of falling into 3rd place, as we're only 5 points ahead of 'The Alleymen'.

I don't know what happens in that case. But we should make the playoffs. I think.

Thats all I got right now. I should be designing stuff.

Peace. Happy holidays...merry christmas. Adios.

One more thing: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Week 11, Fall Season, 2007

2007-12-05T12:30:00.000-05:00

By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

QUESTION:

What do these 3 things have in common?

1) a steak knife

2) Dr. McDreamy

3) The Healy Brothers

ANSWER: Read on...

Here's the news: we lost, 13-11, to 'The Brotherhood', from Molly Pitchers.

The 'news' being that this loss ended our regular-season-match winning streak. 'The Streak' was impressive, standing at 21 matches, but the way we've been playing....it needed crutches. The last few weeks were pretty shaky. Especially me, to be fair. I've been playing like a cuppa de-caf, or a 'chai-latte', for cryin' out...

Anyway, we've yet to be hitting on all cylinders. When we played the 'Hood the first time, we won 16-8. Glenn and I, Cuppa, were hot as pistols, Vince's hornets were stinging, yet tempermental, and FURIOUS was distracted. The Brotherhood was also short-handed, which helped.

But the last few weeks, we've slowly regressed to this. Hopefully we all wake up at the same time. Things could get utterly devastating though, before they get better. Next week, we take on division leader and powerhouse, Bullistics...

...without our stalwart leader, Cpt. FURIOUS.

This will arguably be our biggest/toughest match to date. Disregarding 'The Deathstar', of course. We had a snow-ball's chance in hell back then. We tied Bullistics 12-12, the first time, after being up 9-3. As a 'team', with a deep bench, they can play with anyone in the entire league.

The turnout this week was a little light. We had 5 'Bags, including a late arrival by BFT Sheahan, who can't get enough of GK's exotic beer selection. Nell ducked in after work, and Lillian made her patented early arrival, noshing on nachos before the vultures flew in. Smart move, Lil...

We had a great time, as usual. Hard not to. 'The Brotherhood' is one of our favorite opponents. Great beers flying around. 'The Jeek' doin' it right. I want to give props to Justin the bartender. Been a great addition to the GK squad, and he puts up with me telling him to raise the volume when my songs come on, and lower the volume when these upper-westside frat boys play Jay-Z, 'cause...you know...that sounds great at an Irish pub.

A Steak-knife

We knew something was off, the way the night started out.

IYH, Glenn Pike, the alpha-dog of the Dartbags pack, was coming off a huge, Dartbags-record-setting 1209 asp performance. While throwing some practice darts, one of his nylon shafts broke-off, inside the dart barrel.

I'm not going to get into details, but anyone who uses nylon knows about this issue. And its a royal pain-in-the-arse.

I, Cuppa, showed up at 'The Jeek', to find FURIOUS, Glenn, Lillian, and Scott Fitzpatrick from the 'Hood, standing over the 'Table of Honor'. It looked like the ER.

Cuppa: "How many tools does it take to fix Glenn's shaft?"

Answer: One.

But not the corkscrew they were using...and not the specially designed tool, that Frank cabbed it home to get, 10 minutes before match time. I knew that everyone was wasting their time. From experience.

Friday night, I fixed Glenn's shaft...

Uuhhh...

Friday night, Glenn and I were practicing and the same thing happened. I used a steak-knife to get it out. Knowing this, I kept telling them to stop screwing around with Frank's tool.

After some deliberation, I just grabbed Glenn's shaft and ran out.
(the double entendre is inevitable here...i'm just gonna plow through and hope for the best)

I ran out to find a restaurant that had a steak-knife with (and this is the key) a thin and sharp tip. Enough so, that it cuts into the nylon, basically acting like a flat-head screwdriver. Apply constant pressure, twist it out. Done.

I ran across the street, to 'Flor De Sol', looking for the right knife. No dice. Butter knives only. (I'll give you a butter-knife...)

Next, I tried the Indian restaurant next door. I think they thought I was going to hold them up, so I high-tailed it out of there.

Finally, I went to Hi-Life, bar&grill on the corner.

Now...on the inside, I'm a sensitive softy. But I need to realize, that when a big, bearded, 220 lb guy, wearing a winter skull-cap, no jacket in 25 degree weather, out of breath, runs into a bar & grill, and says to the hostess and waiter...

"I need a steak knife!"

...they're probably picking up the direct line to the Dept. of Homeland Security.

The hostess said, "I'll be right back", and I kinda thought something was up.

So I spoke with the waiter, and after catching my breath, explained why I needed it. He let out a huge sigh of relief and started laughing nervously. He got me the steak-knife, explained to the hostess what was going on, I sat at the bar, and removed it in about a minute.

I ran back to The Jeek, victoriously holding glenn's broken shaft in my hand.

Now I know how the cops felt in the John Bobbitt case.

(see below, the patented 'steak-knife shaft-removal' process, by cuppa joe gasparino)

Anyway, here's the boxscore:

Singles 501

FURIOUS, 1 - Charlie Healy, 2
Vince, 1 - Tom Healy, 2
Cuppa Joe, 2 - Scott Fitzpatrick, 1
Glenn, 2 - Larry Lieberstein, 1

Hilites: Vince hit a T40, Charlie hit a T40, Glenn hit 409 asp, best for the round.

Dr. McDreamy

Glenn also got "McDreamied" right before his turn. Its a weekly event now. If you don't know what getting "McDreamied" means, its when some giddy fan of 'Grey's Anatomy' goes up to IYH and either asks him if he's Dempsey, or tells him he looks just like him. If you still don't know what I'm talking about, click here.

Cricket

Frankenglenn, 2 - Walter Trice & Larry Lieberstein, 1
Cuppavince, 0 - The Brothers Healy, 3

Hilites: Not much on our end, except for a C4 by El Capitan de Furioso. On the other side, Charlie hit an R7, Tom hit an R6. They were sharp. We were NOT.

Doubles 501

Frankenglenn, 3 - Larry & Scott, 0
Cuppavince, 0 - The Brothers Healy, 3

Hilites: Frank and Glenn cruised through their 3 games. Well done by both. Cuppavince had 3 close games against the Healys, but came up short.

The Healy Brothers

Give those guys credit for crisp doubling, and overall solid play. This was the first time they were paired up in doubles play, and it paid off, going 6-0. Vince and I were not nearly playing where we should be....but to be fair, the 'Brothers earned every bit of it. Kudos. See you at Lallypalooza. By the way, Charlie: I like apple-sauce with my potato-pancakes.

The real story here, however, was Frank. El Capitan. Cpt. FURIOUS.

I've seen a lot of darts. This was the best individual performance in doubles 501 I've ever seen, and it seemed to be the consensus. The numbers alone, from just this doubles round, say a lot: 537 asp, including a T-40 and a DS-100. He also went in and out, every chance he had.

I don't know if it was Flogging Molly, or the Great Big Sea, blasting on the GK sound-system (thanks Justin), but The Cpt. threw ridicudarts. Plain and simple. Definitely the hilite of the night. Maybe of the season so far.

Charlie called it "The Pocket". I call it a "Funnel". Everyone knows what it is, but we may visualize it differently. You know when you're in the zone. Its tunnel-vision, and Frank had it. We'll miss you next week, but maybe that brings out our best. We'll see.

I guess thats it.

Kudos again to The Brotherhood, including Larry Lieberstein (take care of that tendinitis), Scott Fitzpatrick, and Walter Trice, who we haven't seen before.

As I mentioned earlier, this saturday is Lallypalooza. Doors open at 5:15 pm. Speaking of which, the gracious host, and legend, Tom Lally, 'The White Hawk', has been immortalized (click here). Welcome to the club, #2.

Monday, we're at The Pinch Bar, 237 Sullivan St, to take on Bullistics.

I am outtie like Curt Gowdy.

ASP Recap:

FURIOUS - 953 (a lot...and ridicu-clutch)
Glenn - 626 (mazda darts)
CUPPA - 313 (holy Glenn/2!!!)
Vince - 140 (3rd dartitis away from a lot more)

WEEK 10: 1209

2007-12-03T16:27:00.000-05:00

I fell behind and didn't get to it this week.

My apologies.

We won 14-10 against Flight Risk.

We were hoping to do better, but they shot very well. Gotta tip the cap to them.

There are only a couple of things worth recapping. One was the number 1209.

That's the number of ASPs that Pike hit. It shattered the old Dartbag record held by Cuppa Joe and was good for 2nd best total in the league.

The other is that Glenn posted a High On (S-102) AND A High Out (F-97, done in 3, T-18, D-20 fashion).

Great stuff.

Slowly, but surely... the man known as In-Yer-Hole Pike is returning to form.

With Glenn there to take out the heavy artillery, and the rest of the squad playing like they can, we might just be able to shock someone come January.

Anyway, Cup will do the next write up.

And faster too.

That is all.

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #9: MOONLIGHT GINSBERG AND THE RETURN OF THE MICROWAVE

2007-11-26T17:27:00.000-05:00

"Ginsberg Leaves Rangers For Dartbags, Ol' Rusty Makes Triumphant Return, Big Friendly Joins in Fun"

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 11 - 19 - 07

NOTE: This post was more substantial... but it got erased because the blogspot platform is as stable as Rosie O'Donnell going through Twinkie withdrawal. This version is shorter.
---------------
The Dartbags had been inVinceable. But Vince was in California. Thus they were inVinceable no more.

Facing a resurgent Alleymen squad who seemed to have found their footing in A league, the 'Bags would need all hands on deck in order to pick up slack. They would muster 6 of 7 'Bags as well as a surprise visit from Lillian (who has been known to wander as far south as 33rd Street in pursuit of a delicious Auntie Anne's Pretzel Dog.) With no further ado this is what happened.

Glenn Pike 2, Ryan Shane 1

Frank Murtha 2, Tim Tully 1

Cuppa Joe Gasparino 1, Mark Collins 2

Mike Ginsberg 0, Gerard Leary 3

Pike was good not great. Ditto Frank who managed 4 all star rounds. Cup shot okay, but Collins was terrific. Still Cup managed to take a game off a good shot. And Gins... well, Gins was a hero no matter what he did. Ginsberg was actually watching his Rangers take on their arch-rival Islanders around the coner at Madison Square Garden. But, being the team guy that he is, he agreed to play singles because we had no other players available. The plan, suggested by the Captain, was to have Gins show up during the first intermission and then go back to catch the rest of the game. If timed correctly, he would miss no more than 5 minutes of hockey action.

But what Gins knew - and Frank did not - is that MSG has a no re-entry policy for Rangers games. In fact, the entire scene played out like one of our favorite movies.

Field of Dartbags

Gins: What have we got here?

Frank: We fell - 2 out of 3.

Gins: Why, this team's chokin' to death! You need to lighten up, just have some fun. You'll be all right. You'll be doin' handsprings again in no time.

He borrowed a set of the Captain's 22 Widows... and promptly got swept by Leary (who was shooting sick darts, literally not missing a 20 in one game until going for his outs). So be it.

Frank: Hey, Gins. Thanks for making it. It was a good effort. Go, enjoy the rest of the hockey game.

Gins just smiled and shook his head in answer... and the Captain came to a horrible realization

Frank: Oh, my God... You can't go back. You can't go back!

Gins: It's all right-

Frank: I'm sorry.

Gins: It's all right.

Frank: But you were only there for 1 period!!! The Rangers-Islanders is like your dream night. It would kill some men to get that close to their dream and not touch it... They'd consider it a tragedy.

Gins just shook his head.

Gins: Son, if I could only have been a Dartbag for 1 period... now THAT would have been a tragedy.

He shook each Dartbag's hand one after another and each one thanked him. No Gins didn't win a game. Frankly, we never expect him to. But the way Leary was shooting, he probably would have beaten any Dartbag. We call playing such hot shooters "diving on a grenade." And it was at that point we knew that Gins one appearance was like Moonlight Graham's one at bat... it was a sacrifice. Gins gave a little salute as he made his way out of Dart Alley.

Gins: Win one for me one day, will you, boys?

He turned to leave.

Glenn: Hey, Gins...

Gins turned 'round

Glenn: ... you didn't suck.

He gave a smile and twinkle returned to his eye. Ginsberg put on his Rangers cap, and then mysteriously disappeared into the crowd at the bar.

And then he came back 2 minutes later with a Jameson's.

Love the effort.

Darts took 2nd billing to drama in the 2nd set.

Sure, Cup and Frank took 2 of 3. But the real story was the valiant effort of Glenn and the season premier of Colin "The Microwave" O'Donnell.

Though each game was a dogfight, Glenn and Colin were on the verge of being swept. Though Glenn through big darts, the team of Leary and Shane was too strong. The 'Bags actually held a 4 - 2 lead on corks, but couldn't close the deal. The Alleymen caught up and now the 'Bags were trailing 1 cork to 2 with Leary waiting on deck. This location is very close to the town of "Sh*t's Creek".

Colin missed wide right with his first dart. Then he missed wide right on his second dart. The entire team was watching intently. You could hear a pin drop on Dart Alley. If Colin didn't hit a center cork with his last dart... we were surely dead. He stepped to the line. He eyed up the board. Drew back his hand.... and then he stopped. He turned and addressed the assembled throng:

Colin: Dire straits, indeed, dear chums. And no margin for error at that! Verily, this turn of events calls ... for Ol' Rusty.

Yes, THAT Ol' Rusty! The Billy Barool of the darting world. The enchanted arrow, never known to fail!

Colin reached into his brief case and produced a small wooden box. On the box were Celtic Runes in gold inlay - a language long forgotten. Colin pressed a button on the bottom and the box sprang open, revealing a misshapen bar dart laying on a velvet bed. He held it aloft.

Colin: Old friend, I would not have roused your from the arms of Orpheus, if we were not in grave peril. We have but one chance to hit 2 marks. Should we fail, we would most assuredly lose the day -- yon Leary has a lean and hungry look. So I say to you, once more into the breach, old friend! Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!!

And with a might, cross-handed swipe he let fly his volley! Ol' Rusty twisted swirled, drawn inexorably to the center bull. The blood red cork seemed almost to rise, like an expectant lover as Ol' Rusty penetrated deep into her fibers! An eruption of triumph was heard!

Dartbags: Hooray!

A miracle shot! The was much embracing (of a manly sort) and the slapping of hands could be heard!

Colin: Innkeeper, bring a round of your finest ales for all my friends!

Bartender: Huh?

Colin: Victory is ours!

At least... I think that's what happened. I know this. Colin was as cool as could be when he hit that game winning double cork. And we were as good as dead if he hadn't.

Afterward, Colin's reaction was reserved and utterly unflappable. In other words - typical.

Colin: I like the close matches best. They're more fun.

And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is why he is The Microwave. Not only does he not feel pressure when he comes off the bench... he is literally unaware that he is even SUPPOSED to feel pressure. "I like the close matches best???"

Unreal.

And in the third set (and with considerably less drama) Big Friendly Tim got into the act by taking 2 games of Double '01.

We would finish the night with a 12-12 tie. But we would also finish the night with some serious highlights of the season. And every Dartbag got in on the fun. Winning, shminning. This was a fun night.

So the unbeaten streak stands at 20 weeks. And I'll end the recap right here because time is tight.

That is all.

Happy Thanksgiving From VUDUDARTS

2007-11-21T10:02:00.000-05:00

Darts Cult Heroes

VUDUDARTS, badass dartists, creators of tough darts apparel
for the ultimate dart-geek, has just opened a new section
to their store: Darts Cult Heroes.

As always, click the link 'box' to the right of every post
on the Dartbags home page, and for a limited time now,
receive free-shipping. WOW.

VUDUDARTS is proud to introduce as its flagship Hero.
The one, the only....dart-dippin'est....C-sixtion'est,
Jamesons-sippin'est....captain-kirkin'est.....shatnerian
king-of-sting.....El Capitan....

.....Cpt FURIOUS!

Week 9 Write Up Coming Soon

2007-11-20T08:52:00.000-05:00

Captain Furious is heading into the wilds of New Hampshire and will do the write up as soon as he can.

In the meantime, check out Snowball the Cockatoo.

He dances, he sings... awesome.

Warning: contains (bad) audio.

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #8: GLASS HALF FULL... (OF BEER)

2007-11-13T11:50:00.000-05:00

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 11 - 12 - 07

Is the glass half empty or half full? Both are correct - it's just a matter of perspective. The Dartbags would get a chance to answer that question after turning a 10-2 performance in singles into a 15-9 win over Nomads No More at the Jeek.

It was a good turnout. Nellie was on hand as was Ginsberg's crew. In addition, 6 of 7 'Bags made the scene, all save Colin "The Microwave" O'Donnell who was giving a guest lecture on The Role of Sloped Foreheads on Comparative Sagacity at Columbia's School of Phrenology - his favorite topic, by the way. Frank's friend and fellow Scarsdalian, Mike Kapner even made an appearance. Always nice to get a good crew together. Here's what happened (in an abbreviated format, because Frank has a lot of work to do).

SINGLES: 10-2

Glenn vs. Steve Sterns: 3-0.
Frank vs. John Leshanski: 3-0
Vince vs. Joe Murray: 2-1
Cup vs. Dave Smith: 2-1.

Wow. That's one hell of a start.

Piker was hotter than a habanero. He came out gunning and just missed an 18 darter when his 3rd dart hit the single rather than the double bull. He'd go out in 20, 25 and 29 darts. It's been a long time since Glenn has looked so in control.

The Captain was gunning too. Even starting one game with a Ton, T-40, Ton and just missing a 17 darter. He'd settle for a 22 darter and a second sweep.

Vince drew a tough opponent in Joe, but managed to gut out 2/3 in hard fought games. Vince is developing a special bond with the D-4.

Cuppa Joe drew one of the best shots in A-3, but managed to take the last 2 legs (while firing off 323 ASPs) to give the 'Bags all the momentum in the world heading into cricket.

Frankly, this is as well as we've shot in singles all year - an encouraging sign as we turn the mid-season corner and begin the back stretch. If we play like that in the playoffs, we could find ourselves in a position to shock some unsuspecting A-1 squads.

CRICKET: 4-2

Glenn and Vince vs. Joe and Dave: 1-2
Frank and Cup vs. Rico Chiong and Steve: 3-0

Glenn and Vince drew the heavy artillery. And Joe and Dave were raining shells on them. Dave dropped an R-7 bomb and a C-4 to lead the former Nomads to two victories. Pike's heroics were enough to get 1 point in this one and the 'Bags had to settle for 1 point and a tip of the cap after 3 very close matches.

Frank and Cup were throwing some bombs of their own. Frank dropped a patch-worthy R-9 on the 19s and Cup followed with an R-7. The Nomads never quit. Rico popped an R-6 and Steve valiantly drilled a C-4 in the last leg to make it interesting. But the 'Bags had too much firepower in this set. And we'd take a 14-4 lead into Doubles.

DOUBLE '01

Frank and Tim vs. Joe and Dave: 0-3
Vince and Cup vs. Rico and John: 1-2

What can you say? We let it get away. The Nomads never quit. And beyond that, they shot better as the night went along. We can't say the same. Frank and Tim turned in a respectable effort. But Joe and Dave wouldn't give them a chance. Ditto in the last set. Vince and Cup took the first point. But John refound his stroke by taking out an 86 in two darts. And the doubles just proved to elusive for the 'Bags.

FINAL SCORE: DARTBAGS 15 - NOMADS NO MORE -9

So is the glass half empty? I don't think so. On one hand we had a 14-4 lead. On the other hand, the NNM earned the last 5 points. To a man, they shot well. And they're nice guys.

Actually, I found the evening encouraging because it seems to me our games are coming around. I mean, if Pike is going to shoot like an A-2 MVP, if Vince and Cup are going to take 2/3 off of some of the toughest shots in the league (and The Furious One was on his game as well), we are going to be just fine. The playoffs are all but assured. The only question is can we take first place. If we shoot this well, I like our chances.

So we settle for 15 points, running our unbeaten streak to 19 games, and drinking really good beer with our friends. Disappointing night?

Nah.

Well, unless you're a San Francisco 49er playing on Monday Night Football.

Man, do they suck.

Happy Veterans Day to all who serve and have served our country.

We'll see you next week at Stout where we take a resurgent Alleymen in week 9. Those guys are good. And they're getting better. Should be a challenge.

That is all.

-Captain Furious

ALL STAR RECAP:

Frank: 720
Cup: 653
Pike: 424
Vince: 200

Happy Veterans Day

2007-11-12T16:46:00.000-05:00

The Dartbags would like to take a moment to say thank you to our nation's Veterans - including our own Capt. Tim Sheahan, USAF, Ret. God bless them all and God bless our country.

"May the wings of liberty never lose a feather."

- Jack Burton

Week 7: 15/24 Ain't Good

2007-11-11T15:24:00.000-05:00

Decaf Cuppa Joe 'Leads'
Lackluster Dartbags
The boys manage to take just 15 points
from shorthanded 'Balls-N-Strikes'

By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

This performance couldn't have come at a worse time.

1) We were neck&neck with Bullistics, chasing them by 4 points, and making up ground on them requires near flawless play, with little room for any screw-ups.

2) Franky, El Capitan, informed us that he would miss our second match against Bullistics in December, so every point counts, more than ever. Missing a 'made' guy for the biggest match of the season is gonna hurt.

3) We found out that 'Balls-N-Strikes' would be shorthanded monday. This was our chance to make up the ground we needed.

We blew it.

Yeah, we took 15 points, but we needed 18. Should've taken 20. As it turned out, Bullistics whacked the 'Nomads' 18-6. We lost ground. Now we're down 7.

With the second half of our season starting on monday, we have alot of work to do. This doesn't look good. This is the bad time.

With all that goin' on...monday was still a great time.

There was Neil "The Law" McLoughlin and Tom "The White Hawk" Lally, who managed to make it over from the eastside. Also the girls, Lillian, Jessie and Nell came by for a bit. There was Mike 'GINS' Ginsberg, who is a legend. He showed up after being out in Vegas. He landed in JFK after 3 days of booze & black-jack, cabbed it home...took a shower, and half-way through cricket, there he was sitting at The Table, with beer in hand.

And the irishman, Timmy 'BFT' Sheahan made it out long enough to take a few shots, after doing a short stint somewhere, on the lam.

...it was a glorious time.

Boxscore: Dartbags VS Balls-N-Strikes

Singles 501

Frank 2 - Steve Tsoukalis 1
Cuppa Joe 0 - Carlos Alayo 3
Vince 2 - Brendan Dowling 1
Pike 3 - Forfeit 0

(Dartbags 7 - 'Balls 5)

Cricket

Cuppaglenn 2 - Brendan/Carlos 1
Frankenvince 3 - Canadian Steve 0

(Dartbags 12 - 'Balls 6)

Doubles 501

Cuppaglenn 3 - Canadian Steve 0
VFT 0 - Brendan/Carlos 3

Final Score: Dartbags 15 - 'Balls-N-Strikes 9

Allstar Point Totals:

Glenn 642 (R6)
Vince 470 (R7)
Frank 440
Cuppa 288
BFT 0 (but got on 1st turns in dub 01)

The "Highlight of the Night"TM, was when Frank was on 65 in his second game of singles. How to take out a 65 has always been debatable. Not any more:

McLoughlin's Law: if you're sitting on 65 with 3 darts in hand, 1st dart is at bullseye.

And so it is written.

Up to this point, Frank was off his game. He lost the first one. He was off his mark. Sitting on 65, and with Steve shooting pretty well, he was debating how to take this out. Neil laid down the law:

Neil: "Bull, Frank."

Frank hits the bull with his first dart. Double-20 second dart. Nice job. That changed the rest of the round. Frank started the third game, going Ton, Ton, Ton-40. Steve hung with him. Frank almost lost that one. Took it out though. Nice 2/3, guy.

As a segway into the "Lowlight of the Night"TM, Cuppa, in the first game of his lackluster, heinous round, also sat on 65. As if in a thick fog, Cup turned around to consult whoever was there. It was Neil again.

Neil: "Bull, Joe."

Cuppa also hit the bull with his first dart. However, the second dart was uncharacteristically, and hideously off the mark. Cuppa usually has chunks of double-20 in his stool. Not this night. He hit a 1....then an 18 leaving him on 46. Good leave, despite initially making good on "McLoughlin's Law", and screwing it up. The 'decaf' Cuppa Joe proceeded to make lemons into (expletive), and lost it in an X battle.

He lost the second in an X battle as well. The third game was actually a good one. Carlos was on fire since the middle of the second game, and took this one out in the 8th turn, we think 23 darts. Cuppa was poised to go out on 40.

So Cuppa, for what we think was the first time ever, got swept in a singles 501 round.

(Note: Carlos has only lost 1 game all year in singles, so tip your cap. He also ran in the table in 'after-hours-darts', according to Cpt. Furious.)

On friday, during happy-hour-darts, the match was discussed, and it really falls on the shoulders of Vince and Cup. Cup got swept in singles, The Hornet's Nest was dormant in doubles '01. Everyone else did their job, especially Glenn, who was deadly in cricket.....and put up 642 without playing singles. If he plays singles, you're looking at about 1100-1200 points.

We play the 'Nomads' on monday, at 'The Jeek'. Not 'The Geek', as Frank unfortunately wrote last week.

Check out the Halloween Darts Pictorial below.

We need to bring it on monday. Come one, come all.

I'm outtie like Curt Gowdy.

HALLOWEEN DART PHOTOS

2007-11-11T12:41:00.000-05:00

The 2nd Annual Dartbag Halloween Dartnight... and hilarity ensued.

The Microwave Holds Court

Holly and Hope Dressed As Goshenites

Vince and Cup Yuk It Up

Cuppa Joe - En Fuego

Nell Let's Her Hair Down. Or is it Cup's Hair Down?

Ross 'N Frank Have Been Facing Off Since C League

Bad Nellie!!!
After 6 Beers It's "The Legend of Sloppy Hollow"

Now That's REALLY Scary

The Least Intimidating Dart Team Ever

Good Night and Thank You, Mr. Jameson!

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #6: SCARY GOOD COMEBACK

2007-10-30T13:41:00.001-04:00

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 10 - 29 - 07

Halloween in New York. You gotta love it. People in this town are so Type A, so driven, that when an opportunity comes along when you can "play against type" and just be a goofball... you gotta embrace it. Enter The 2nd Annual Halloween Dart Night (NOTE: PICTORIAL TO FOLLOW). Sure, we were missing 28% of the 'Bags (Tim had to work late and Gins was at the Ranger game). But we enjoyed the company of Colin "The Microwave" O'Donell. We had Lou Henry and his Starving Dartists drop by on their way to their C-3 match. Always good to see those guys. And we even managed to get 2 of 3 Klopchin sisters, Hopi and Holly. In addition Nellie and (Friend of Dartbags, F.O.D) Greg were on hand. Good crew. We knew regardless of the outcome, it would be a good night.

The 'Bags would take on Hands of Doom on "The Stage" at Barfly. It had been a while since we'd faced off against this bunch. The last time we saw HOD was B league playofss back on Tuesday when Farticus, Pew Lou, and the Surgeon were on active duty.

Usually, the 'Bags send Glenn up first. But not always. Glenn's logic was the final word on the matter.

Glenn: Ladies first.

So Mother Superior would lead off.

SINGLES: 5 - 7 Dartbags

Sister Frank vs. Ross Cohen

Ross came firing out of the gate leading off with a Ton. But he was just getting started. He caught a 66 next round. Then followed that up with a Ton-20. Two rounds later, he found himself on 95. But, Frank was hanging in, just 63 points off the pace. Ross stepped up and went first dart, T-19... 2nd dart D-19. Ho. Lee. Crap. Ross racked up 315 ASPs, hit a Treble every turn, took out a 95 and was gone in 17 darts. Wow. But the Captain kept his cool and took the second game, by hitting (what else) a D-1. And in the final game put away a 32 out with Ross poised to pounce on a 40 out. 2-1 Dartbags, but tip your cap to Ross. Best damn darts we've seen since Tony Roman pulled a 14 Darter on us.

Superglenn vs. Rob Evans

Another match up of people who's been playing each other for years. You knew this would be a good battle. Both shooters were streaky. SuperPike piled up 464 ASPs. But it was Rob who was hitting his outs first, taking the first two. Personally, I think part of the problem was the music. In addition to the usual hard-rocking, upbeat music, Frank had selected a Johnny Cash song, the old spiritual "The Legend of John Henry". Frank's father used to sing this song back in the 70s and Frank recalled it as a a soulful, yet lively, recounting of a man's indominable will (as well as a neocryptic metaphor for creeping Industrialism.) Unfortunately, this version was neither. In fact, I don't know what the hell it was. Usually, Johnny Cash is a safe bet. Not this time. In fact, half the song wasn't even singing, it was Johnny doing a mock dialogue between a quarry foreman and the eponymous John Henry replete with such cringe inducing lines as "Boy! Pick up that hammer!", "Yes sir!". And it went on... For. Ever. It made Freebird look like Louie Louie. The natives at Barfly were clearly getting restless. And by restless, I mean seriously annoyed.

Frank to Jen: The Legend of John Henry isn't quite the crowd pleaser I thought it would be.

Jen: Mmmmm, nope.

Frank: Geez... How long IS this song???

Colin: I think this is the Allman Brothers version.

But Piker didn't let the tragic demise of the "steel-drivin' man" ruin the entire set. He redoubled his focus in leg 3. He popped a D-10 to turn in a 9 turner in the final frame to salvage the point. All tied at 3-3. Whew. Done and Done.

Enter Cuppa Joe featuring a number of newly drawn tattoos vs. Jared DeMarino.

Cup looked pretty tough, I must say. Evidently Barfly patrons agreed. So much so that he was mistaken for the bouncer when he stood by the front door. Always the "Method Actor", Cup submerged himeslf in his role by ID'ing several patrons as they entered the bar.

Cup: ID?

Confused Girl: Oh. Sorry. Umm... I got it in here somew-

Cup: That's all right. C'mon in.

It took Cup a little time to reach cruising altitude in this set. He got out of the gate slowly and Jared D took the first one. By the end he was hot as a freshly made Stouffer's French Bread Pizza (which, if you'll recall your childhood, is roughly the same temperature as bubbling magma). In set two he nearly took out a 152, going T-20, T-20 before missing the D-16. He hit it next dart. And in the second set he went T-19, T-20, S-16 (135) to put himself on 92. Then went S-1, T-17, D-20 to close it out. Gone in 20 darts. The Flaming Cuppa Joe tattoo on his forearm said it all. Hombre es mas en fuego. Great stuff. 5-4 'Bags

Shaggy Vince vs. Matt Heit.

Vince piled up 4 tons along the way. Usually quality rounds earn you a victory. But not this time. Matt simply shot great. He piled up 505 ASPs of his own and was gone in what seemed like 7 to 9 rounds everytime. Sometimes you just run into a buzzsaw. It happens. Another tip of the cap and - hey, wait a minute... we're freaking LOSING! First time all year we've been trailing after singles. Dang. 5-7 HOD

CRICKET: 4 -2 Dartbags

FrankenPike facedd off against Ross and Jen Lilya. Frank got it rolling with 5 20s and the 'Bags never looked back. Ross and Captain Jen stepped up their game in the 2nd leg, but the 'Bags held on. In the final leg, Frank popped a T-20, T-19 and Pike wasn't missing. They took the last one to complete the sweep. Needed that one. 8-7 'Bags

Cup'nVince faced Rob and matt in what would prove to be a tough match. Rob's rep among the D'Bags is well known and Matt seemed intent on making one. The HOD took the first one with stellar darts. But the 'Bags counterpunched in set two with Cup throwing big rounds and Vince chipping in for the win. But Cuppa Joe's broad shoulders were not enough to overcome good darts by Rob and Matt in the final set. Dang. And once again we were tied, this time 9-all.

DOUBLE '01: 6 - 0 Dartbags

It was FrankenVince in the final set taking on Matt and Jen. The Hornet's Nest did the heavy lifing here going In 2 times and Out 3 times. (Two of those outs were in the same exact spot on the board, the D-4 just over the wire of the D-13. Weird). After winning the first two in close matches, Frank offered an observation.

Frank: We gotta pick it up, guy, if we're going to take the last one.

Vince: What do you mean 'we'? I've gotten us in and out twice and I hit 2 Tons.

Frank: (pause) I see your point.

So the Cap heated up long enough to toss a couple of all stars and Vince again drove the nail to take the W - and the sweept. 12-9 'Bags

Cup and Glenn took on Matt and Rob in the finale. There were 3 points out there for the taking. The night could end up anywhere from a tie to a nice win. Cup and Glenn were terrific. Both men got on quickly and out on the first few darts. In addition, they were lighting up the ASPs with over 500 between them. Details are sketchy and viewed through Jamesons colored glasses, but sufficie it to say the Good Guys took all three points and Cup once again had a High O with a searing DS-116 in game 3. Great work from the Astorians and a great way to finish the evening.

FINAL SCORE: DARTBAGS - 15 : HANDS OF DOOM - 9

This was a good night all around. HOD were good shots and a great hosts. Rather than look down on the silliness of Halloween Darts they were on board, and we shared some hearty laughs along the way. This bunch likes to have a good time. If not for a late run by the 'Bags, this one could have gone either way. As it was, we'll consider ourselves fortunate to get 15 points and run the unbeaten streak to 17 weeks. We'll look forward to seeing them at our place in December.

All Star Recap:

Bouncer Cup: 719 (Is there anyone in A-3 playing better?)
Super Glenn: 698 (Pike-like as the night progressed)
Shaggy Vince: 600 (Carried us in D '01)
Sister Frank: 558 (Looked suprisingly good in Habit)

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #5: HEAVYWEIGHT SLUGFEST

2007-10-27T13:29:00.000-04:00

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 10 - 22 - 07

We circled the wagons.

We battened down the hatches (which was difficult because we had limited battening experience).

And Katie barred the door. (Thanks, Katie!).

We had to. We were preparing for an onslaught we knew was coming. Bullistics, the first place team in A-3 was coming to the Geek to face the Dartbags (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC TM) and come 7:30... we knew we were in for 3 (to 3 1/2) hours of Dart War. Five points back in the standing, we knew every point was crucial. There are limited opportunities to make up ground on teams like this.

But tonight was one.

The 'Bags rallied the troops and got a solid turnout. Every bag was on hand save Colin "The Microwave" O'Donnell who was in Saginaw, Michigan for the National Semifinals of the American Armwrestling Association. (Make us proud, big guy!). But Gins was there. Big Friendly Tim was there. The Dartbaguettes, Hope, Nell and Jess, were there. And there was even a rare Lillian appearance. (Which the Captain always appreciates because he hates looking bad in front of his girlfriend.)

As if that wasn't enough, Lou Henry and his Starving Dartists (The Terror of C-3) showed up to lend their support after their opponent inexplicably failed to show up at their match downtown.

Yep. All the pieces were in place for a big night.

Here's what happened.

SINGLE '01: 8 -4 Dartbags.

IYH vs. Liam Keane

Piker shot just fine. But Liam shot even better. LK took the first with an 8 rounder. But Piker struck back on the back of multiple T-33s and took the second game in 9 rounds himself. The final game was a sprint to the finish. But Liam went out first dart to break the tape a split second before Glenn. Damn. Good darts all around. Acknowledge. And move on. 1-2 'Bags.

Captain Furious vs. Joe Taras

These two have been going at it since the C finals 4 years ago. And it's always a good battle. Joe threw bombs but Frank hit his out first (D-4) and stole the first point. It was Joe stealing back in game 2. The rubber match was another nail biter in which they answered each other's big rounds, but both men put themselves on crappy outs and ended up on X. Fortunately, Frank loves X. (He must. Or he wouldn't end up there so often.) The Captain struck it first. Big darts by Joe (640 ASPs), and petty larceny from Frank. 3-3.

The Hornet's Nest vs. James Eugenia

Vince's game has been picking up speed all season and would reach 5th gear on Monday night. Facing off against a tough foe meant he would need it. He took the first on the back of two tons to put us in the lead. James reponded by taking the 2nd leg. 'Cenzo had a Ton-40 in his pocket and broke it out in leg 3 to take the rubber match in a 9 round nailbiter. Nice! 5-4 'Bags

Cuppa Joe vs. Paul "The Quiz" Quisenberry

You know Cup is on when he's "funneling" (i.e., grouping his darts in a V-shaped pattern around the T-19.) Cup was funneling like Frank the Tank on Hell Night. He smacked a Ton-14 and a whole mess of 70/80+ combinations en route to victory 1. In game two he continued the strong play. A T-21, and a bunch of 80s. Paul hung right with him, but Cup never let up. He was methodical. And when he nailed his D-20... he was gone in 20 darts. Wow! Are you kidding me? Huge sweep from Cuppa. He. Yuge.

Paul was a gentleman afterwards.

Paul: He shot great. Sometimes you don't lose. You just get beat.

Cuppa's heroics (there would be more) gave the 'Bags a huge 8-4 lead going into cricket. That's really saying something, considering this is the first place team. In fact, I can guarantee you two things: 1) Bullistics is not used to losing singles matches (they were like 75% on the season, and 2) They didn't like it very much. They would get there revenge in cricket.

CRICKET 5-1 Bullistics

Cup and Glenn vs. Joe T. and Nikola Simic

That singles beating must not have been sitting well, because Bullistics just bum-rushed us on this one. Glenn and Cup were fine. Not great. But not noticably off. The difference was that Joe was just sick. He hit two R-6s and a bushel of R-5s and R-4s. Nick was pretty damn sharp too. It seemed like they never threw more than one dart at a 16 or 15 all game. Bullistics took the first, the second and the third. Ouch. That hasn't happened in a while. 8-7 'Bags

Vince and Frank vs. Paul and James

The 'Bags were looking to right the ship. It didn't happen. Vince was his usual solid self. Frank was okay. But again, mediocre darts just weren't going to get it done against these guys. Paul, in particular was filthy. The 'Bags built up a lead in game one thanks in part to a big R-6 from Vince. Bu 6 16s from Paul began to turn the tide. The 'Bags were pointing on 20s and Bullistics on 16s. But we were losing ground. After going up in points Paul saved his last darts for the still wide open 20s. He nailed a triple. He and James seemed to hit every big dart. They took the first two in impressive fashion. The third game was also close until a an R-7 from Frank opened the lead. It was Vince closing out bull to salvage the last point.

Wow. Nearly double swept TWICE in cricket. On our home board no less. We didn't even play badly. But Bullistics were unbelievable. Some of the best cricket we've seen in years. And like that, we were all tied 9-9.

Double '01 3 -3

Frank and Glenn vs. Liam and Joe

Important darts factoid. You can't win a "Double-In, Double-Out" game of 501 if you don't &#*$#@! DOUBLE IN!!! This seeminglty obvious principle seemed to be lost on Frank and Glenn hacked away at the board like who spotted Liam and Joe 200+ points every stinkin' game. It wouldn't cost them in the first game, when the 'Bags rallied to steal it. But it was too much to overcome in the final 2 legs. Some late heroics by Frank fell short when tried his hands at a 94 out and went T-4... T-14 and juuuust missed a D-40 for the win. (Glenn had a case of premature jocularity when he mistakenly cheered the last dart). But Liam slammed the door next round. A DS-96 by Frank in the final game and 96 more from Pike made for some good catch up darts. But Bullistics had built a lead to big to overcome and they took the final frame. Gotta tip your cap. Those guys shot well. 399 ASPs between them (Joe cleared 1079 for the evening).

Cuppa Joe and Vince vs. Dean McCarthy and Paul.

Bullistics are a deep team. They're introducing new players in the last D '01 who shoot like all stars. Such was it with Dean. Dean and Paul jumped out to a lead in game 1 and all of a sudden we were down 12-10. Damn. Now we needed both points to avoid a loss. But with our backs to the wall, the 'Bags stepped up big time. It was Vince supplying the fire power (2 tons and 95) and Cup providing the clutch outs. In the second game he nailed a D-4 to win a squeaker and it he pulled our fat out of the fire once again in leg 3. With both team missing chances at outs, the pressure seemed to rise with each turn. It was one of those intense, playoff type games that had both teams cheering and groaning with every throw. But Cuppa Joe (bless his heart) saved the final dagger for the last dart of the evening. He calmly stepped up and stuck a fat D-1 to take the final point. Leading to a collective cheer from the Dartbag faithful.

Dartbag Faithful: Hooray!

FINAL SCORE: DARTBAGS 12 - BULLISTICS 12T

This wasn't just darts. It was drama. And it unfolded like a Three Act play. Act I was us jumping out to an improbable 8-4 lead. Act II was us losing it all in cricket. And Act III was about redemption when we fought back to make it a standstill for the evening. So we walk away with a tie and run our unbeaten streak to 16 consecutive weeks. (Thanks, guy.)

Sure, we would have liked to have gotten more points here. Especially with such a great start. Fact is, there are limited opportunity to make up points on a team like this. But considering the way they played, we have no complaints. They were great shots and class acts as well. Both teams left with a lot of respect for the other. It was a great night. We'll look forward to seeing them down the road.

And now, The Furious One is going to sign off (with apologies for being more abrupt than usual). He is nursing his Halloween party hangover. Speaking of which; Monday @ Barfly is Halloween Darts. That means costumes, people. Feel free to come join in the fun.

All Star Recap:

Vince: 755 (Way to light it up, guy.)

Frank: 566 (And high on.)

Pike: 477 (Shot well. Deserved a better fate.)

Cuppa: 333 (Clutch. Effing. Darts.)

Dartbags VS Tom, Larry & Charlie:

2007-10-16T17:22:00.000-04:00

'Bag-Boys Take 18
From 'The Brotherhood' + 1
By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

Tommy Healy said it best right before the match started:

Tommy: "We won the B division last season with basically 3 guys. That doesn't work in this (A) league."

No, it doesn't. But they gave it a good go. More on that later.

The Dartbags headed over to face 'The Brotherhood' at Molly Pitchers on 85th and 2nd avenue. The upper east-side. They should rename it 'Healytown'. With generations upon generations of Healys making their mark on what used to be called 'Yorkville'...they basically own the place. Charlie Healy, of 'The Brotherhood', was makin' his bones when Cpt. Furious was bangin' cheerleaders, Moe Greene.

(complete fabrication...at least the cheerleaders bit)

I, Cuppa, lived on 89th between 3rd and Lex for about 6 years. I did some damage up there myself...including at an old, cult favorite, JL Sullivans...aka, 'Sullys', on 89th and 1st ave. When I first met Charlie through the NYDO, something in my subconscious was telling me I had met this guy before. It all came together on Monday night.

He, and brother Tommy, were bouncers at Sullys, back in the salad days. At the same time, one of my best mates, and childhood friend, Southside Johnny, was a bartender there. In turn, I was a regular patron, along with his brother, and my roommate at the time, Chris The Cop.

Bingo! That was it.

Well...long story short, the joint went belly-up shortly after. Too many rounds on the house....and too much Healy made for a crash-course headed towards utter destruction. Nothing could have withstood that maelstrom of mischief. Sullys was no more.

So after a few laughs about glory days gone by, I realized that I had indeed met The Brotherhood before. It was time to meet again.

Glenn, Frank, Vince and Cuppa got set to face off against the brothers Healy plus 1...Larry Liberstein. Glenn showed up first around 6:30. I showed up shortly after, about 7. Frank was dart-geekin' over at The Gaf, and Vince's eta was about 7:45. Of course, he walked in at exactly seven...forty...five.

Nantucket Boat Basin t-shirt and all.

And thats also why Vince goes Nantucket-geekin' on a regular basis. He is, in short, The Man, The Myth...The Punctual Professional: The Hornets Nest.

Allright....enough geekin' on Vince. At least for now.

Molly Pitchers is a GREAT spot to throw, by the way. The whole back room (the 'snug' room) is a virtual darts stadium. Doesn't get much better than that. Great lighting (no shadows on the board)....great jukebox. One thing though: FIX THE SCOREBOARD!

We learned that The Brotherhood would be shorthanded for the night, and would have to play canadian in doubles, which stinks.

And it stinks especially for the guy who wouldn't have a chance to play singles. It would be I, Cuppa, who would get the short end of that stick. 3 freebie victories to pad the winning percentage, but no chance to let the big guns fly after a long week off. What are ya gonna do.

Take it out on cricket.....more on that later.

Well, right about game time, the' hood was still a solo gig. Charlie was the lone brother, working the phones...sending out smoke signals...but nothing was working. He finally got in touch with brother Tommy.....the captain of the 'hood.

He was sleeping.

Then Larry finally showed up about 8pm with a tendinitis wrap around his forearm. Not lookin' good for the 'hood, at this point. Tommy, apparently sleep-walking, stumbled his way up from 60-somethin' street, and finally they had their three-some.

Game on.

The hilites...

Singles 501

Glenn went first against Larry, who's a solid shot, and a good guy as well. That crazy tendinitis wrap framus didn't make it past a few rounds of game one....as IYH was as hot as a 'flaming caesar' haircut (TM). He smoked through game 1 in about 23 darts. Glenn let game 2 slip away after cutting down at a good clip. Couldn't get the X, and Larry nailed his. Game 3 was another worm-burner for IYH.

2/3 aint bad, Glenn. He racked up about 500 asp's in singles. IYH's best singles round of the caes - I mean, season so far. Just Glenn bein' Glenn at this point.

Frank played Charlie Healy next. The furious one has been hot as a pistol lately, and Charlie is a great shot, as most of you know. Both were not on their A-games, though. More like their C-games. Neither guy seemed to want it. Frank won game 1 but lost the last 2. The 3rd game was a frustrating loss. It dragged on.

Neither could double out. The jukebox went silent. Frank was furious. He got even moreso when Charlie stole it. Frank furiously bolted into the main barroom and stewed for the duration of round 3.

(Did I mention that Frank was furious?)

He missed one of the guttiest rounds of the season.

Vince VS Tommy Healy in round 3 offered some great lessons:

1) Don't shake The Hornet's Nest. Tommy did that by doing what he does pretty well: he hit big rounds. It's a double edged sword. Vince answers haymakers with haymakers.

2) The name of this game is OUTS. And its never too early to think about your leaves. Some bad leaves in the 'red zone' made it tough for Tommy to close, while at the same time, he was tight on his mark, hitting alot of asp's, cutting down a step ahead of Vincenzo.

3) (click here)

Side note: watch that whole video when you have a chance, if not now. Its been a while since I've seen it. A while too long.

Well, Vince never did give up. He was chasing in all 3 games, especially the last one. Tommy opened up a huge lead, of about 250 points. Cenzo, sputtering after a few early rounds of 7, 11, and I think a 17 or something, started closing in on Tommy, who was again, having some double-trouble entering the red-zone. With some solid darts, Vince slowly and steadily caught up, and took out a sweet 74 for the V.

Put it in the books! A sweep for The Hornet's Nest against a great shot like Tom had the 'bags jacked up.

I, Cuppa, was chomping at the bit....but no dice. No fourth guy for The Brotherhood meant an easy forfeit sweep for us. At the end of singles, the Dartbags were up 9-3.

Cricket

Cuppaglenn went first. They took on Larry and Charlie. For the second week in a row, IYH and Joey Pep swept a formidable opponent. Glenn opened game 1 with 4, Cuppa followed with 5, and down the ladder they went. Another R5 by Cup, set up IYH, who closed it out with a fat D-bull first dart, S-bull second dart C3, taking game 1.

Game 2 started much the same, however things tightened up near the end with a big 'bull-run' by the 'hood. A point war broke out, with bulls by the brothers, and 18s by the 'bags. Glenn hit a huge trip 18, and had a chance to end it with a bull-close, but just missed. The 'hood came back with an R5 and was back up in points by 14.

Cup needed a single 18 to go up, a single 15 to close, and a bull to end the game. Pep stepped up, and bing-bing-bing.....game over.

Glenn: "I called that, guy."

Charlie and Larry opened up a big lead in game 3, but just like last week, Cuppaglenn hung in, and feasted on the 17's and 18's. Things leveled out by the time bulls came around. Glenn hit a point to take the lead, and a double bull. Cuppa stepped up and closed it next turn on his first dart.

A YOOOGE sweep for the second week in a row.

Frankenvince took on Tommy in cricket. Canadian style. Kudos to Tommy for hangin' in there, including an R6 and an R7. He opened every game with at least a trip-20. He did his best Irish Mickey Ward, but the 'bags landed a knockout sweep. Not much to take away from that round, unfortunately. It was 2 on 1 for cryin' out....

Dartbags up, 15-4.

Doubles 501

We decided to keep the same pairings, and flip-flop the order. Unfortunately, Frankenvince would again play the shorthanded brother, this time Larry. No...not that Larry. The Captain and The Hornet's Nest took on Larry in...

Allright, I'll stop.

The Brotherhood's Larry Liberstein put up the hilite of the evening. He managed to beat The Furious One and The Hornet's Nest, canadian'ing them in game 2, as Frankenvince took turns missing X, maybe a dozen times. Give 'Double-L' credit for getting 'on' with his first turn every game, and for gutting out the shorthanded goal.

I think you get a patch for that, Larry.

(Not that Larry!)

Frankenvince should get this, for getting canadian'd.

There was, however, one hilite for the 'bags that round. It was told to me by Frank:

Frank: "At one point, we were on 183 and I said to Vince, 'I'm going to leave you on 100. But not on purpose.' Sure enough, I hit 20, T-1, T-20. Sometimes I think I have EDP."

That would be Extra Darts Perception.

Wow.

Okeeeeeee...

The night ended with a competitive round between the brothers-Healy and Cuppaglenn. The ODC seemed to creep up on Glenn who had a long day...mostly due to his sunday birthday blowout at the beer-garden in Astoria, as well as the after party at 'chez-pike'. We were off our game a bit, and the brothers were on theirs. More good stuff from Tommy, and Charlie finally seemed to get hot. They took 2/3 from us, and bolted shortly after.

Charlie had a boiler to fix.

Final score:

Dartbags 18
The Brotherhood 6

This was a good night. Some big darts. Some big fun. Molly Pitchers rocks.

It was Frank's turn to be off his game, but the rest of us were on ours. Glenn is lookin' like Glenn again, Vince had an inspiring round, and I, Cuppa, had my second straight week of gorilla cricket.

(I don't know...Glenn said, "Great shooting, you gorilla!" at the end of the match.)

We've yet to have a week when all of us have been 'on'. Hopefully we all catch fire at the same time soon, and ride that wave. We know what the goal is. Eyes on the prize.

Credit Colin, The Captain's friend Megan, Nell, Jessie, and Pew Lou for making appearances.

Notable stat: week 1, we scored 12. since then, we've gone 14, 16, 18. I call that progress.

Allstar recap (estimations...Furious has the sheets, and he's in Boston):

Glenn - 500 (26 dart avg in singles)
Vince - 100 (gutty singles sweep, and 8/9)
Frank - 100 (well deserved week 'off')
Cuppa - 0 (no chance to throw in singles...forfeit wins, and 7/9)

Next monday, people.

Cuppa...out.

PS: Vince reminded me that the 'snug room' darts stadium used to be a pizza joint...and the main bar was 'Fitzpatricks', which was his, and Gins' brother Dave's second home, back in The Day.

Lookalikes: Volume 3

2007-10-10T14:28:00.000-04:00

We've been sitting on this one for a long time.

Here it is.

Enough said.

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #3: GETTING BACK TO OUR 'ROOTS

2007-10-02T02:09:00.000-04:00

'Bags Roll 16-8
CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 08 - 01 - 07

St. Mark's Place, Greenwich Village. More tattoos, piercings and Valtrex customers per square foot than any patch of land on the Eastern seaboard. Grassroots Tavern stands out like an oasis. A lone representative of a time when St. Mark's Place was not a carnival of exhibitionism and bad taste, but a gritty working class block in New York City. Two dollar beers. Saw dust on the floor. Dart boards. Old School.

The Dartbags were on hand to play Flight Risk. It was a good turn out for the George Keeley crew. Tim, Gins, Pike, Cup, Vince as well as a surprise appearance by our own Farticus and our friend, Gemma. We took our places at the rustic tables in the back room to enjoy the darts, $13 pitchers of Brooklyn (Phillies?) Pennant Ale, and one another's company.

On to darts.

But first, a comic prelude with a misunderstanding worthy of Three's Company (if Three's Company were rated R). Frank used the restroom and went to wash up afterward. But the soap wouldn't come out. It was one of those dispensers that looks like almost like a cow utter. The liquid is contained in a plastic bulb. There is a nozzle that hangs down at the bottom of it. You press upward on that nozzle with your palm and the soap is supposed to release onto your hand.

So I'm pressing up, but the pressure of my hand that moves the nozzle is also blocking the outflow. (An inherent design flaw. I've always thought the guy who designed this product was either an idiot or practical joker.) Still no soap. So the Captain gets the bright idea to squeeze the plastic container in hopes of creating some pressure. He squeezes the dispenser with his right hand and presses up on the nozzle with his left and ---

SPLAT!!!!

Too much pressure! The next thing Frank knows he's hit with a gush of milky white soap. It's on his hands. It's all over his arm. Some is on his chest. And he even caught some splatter on his trademark glasses. Now Frank is no Senator. And he's no pop star either. But this doesn't look good. He's standing in a rather run down bathroom... in the Village... on St. Mark's Place... with a handful of liquid white soap that's spattered all over him.

One second later, the door opens and this Marilyn Manson lookalike walks in. Frank turns around and they just look at each other. Marilyn looks at his face. Then down at his hands. Then back to the face. Frank opens his mouth to say something.

Frank: Uh...

And with that, Marilyn looks straight down and continues past him to the urinals. Frank wipes the soap off himself the best he can -- which smelled deliciously like marzipan by the way! -- laughs in spite of himself, and goes out to take on Damien Bishop in singles...

SINGLES: 7 - 5

Frank vs. Damien. Pike wasn't there, so the Captain led off. He took the first when Bish couldn't get it going. In the second game the Captain cruised out to a nice lead with a Ton, T-25 back to back. But then busted on 76. And then he missed his 40 out next round. And then he missed his 20 out. And Damien, who had quietly been closing in, took it out in the 10th round. Larceny. But the Captain rallied in the final frame to hit the 9 rounds. So be it. 2-1 'Bags.

It was Vince vs. John Yale in the second set. Both men started out slowly. Breakfast, 41, Blackjack. Six rounds in and still in the 300s.

Frank (to Glenn): "Let's see who wants to win this one."

And as if on cue, Vince popped a Ton-32. He followed that with 85 more. And two rounds later he was gone. Nice darts. But John kicked it into gear in the 2nd leg. He hit a Ton, and soon followed that with a fat Ton-80 (to which he got a round of applause from both teams). Top notch. And the pair were tied. Both players shot well in the 3rd game, but it was John taking it in 8 rounds.

Gotta tip your cap. 3 -3

Cuppa Joe vs. Scott DePalma. Cuppa had been chomping at the bit every since last week. And he tore into it like a dog let off a leash. Joey Pep lived up to his (74th) nickname by peppering the 19s. He popped a 97 and 95 en route to a crisp W in game one taking out a D-7, first dart. In game 2, he peppered two more 95s, including his first turn. He turned a D-10 into a D-5. D-5s are the bane of many dart players, because it's such a short trip from D-5 to XX. But Cup is different than most players.

Glenn: "First dart, guy. Cup loves D-5."

True to form. First dart, spot on.

It was Scott, pulling out the final point in a comeback squeaker. Sharp darts from Cuppa. 382 ASPs and he hit his doubles first dart each time. 5-4 'Bags

Glenn vs. Jim Stratton. Piker isn't used to batting clean up. We usually like to lead him off. He responded with an unremarkable win in game 1. (10 rounds, I think). In game 2, Jim channeled his best darts. He popped a Ton and followed that with a Ton-34 to put himself on 20. Two darts later, he was gone. Just goes to show, no lead is safe in 501. But Glenn collected himself and came out gunning in round 3. He popped a number of 70/80-Somethings and T-33 en route to a 9 rounder. Two more for the 'Bags 7-5 headed to Cricket

CRICKET: 4-2

FrankenVince took on John and Tom Ryan in cricket. Both stumbled out of the gate. Frank remaned dreadful for most of the match. But Vince picked up the slack. It was the Hornet's nest closing out, popping 4 and 5 at a time and carrying the squad to a first game win. The Bags had a lead in game two. In game two, John started with 4 and Grassroots kept up the pressure, with John popping two R-6s. Frank was inconsistent and Vince's good darts were'nt enough this time. The 'Bags took it on the chin. The 'Bags went down early in the final frame but made a stand on 18s when Frank hit 5. Grassroots popped 20s to go back up in points. Vince also hit 2 18s to put the 'Bags up, and the Point War was on. We needed one 20 to close and we needed 3 19s. They were up in points but had only 1 mark on the 18s. Tom hit a 20. Then missed. He ask John what to do next. Point on 20s, would be the expected answers... but no.

John: "Just give me one 18."

Huh? "Gimme one." Why just one? Why not get the points while you can? It was of course a completely innocuous comment. (Or was it?) Regardless, it woke up Captain Furious who interpreted it as an unintended slight of his 18-hitting abilities. He channeled his bottomless well of rage and popped 4 18s and closed 20s. Vince promptly tripped the 19s. Frank followed with an R-7. And a couple rounds later they were gone. Frank. And Vince. At their best when they're p*ssed off. 9-6.

Glenn and Cup vs. Scott and Bish in Cricket. The 'Bags roared out of the gate. With Glenn and Cup each hitting 4 marks at a time on 20s and 19s. It was the 'Bags coasting to victory 4 marks a time with IYH Pike hitting a pair of single corks to seal it. Game two was more of the same. The 'Bags had everything closed and were up 60+ points with no bulls hit yet.

Glenn: "Guy...you can hit another 17 puts us up another bull....."

Cup: "Guy, I'm just gonna go right after it -"

Glenn: "- yeah guy."

First dart, double-bull. Second dart, double-bull. Overkill...but the message was clear. Game over, in inspired fashion. Game 3 would be remarkable.

The 'roots came out smoking in game 3, on the back of an R-5 from Scott and an R-7 from Damien; 7 x 18s. The Grassroots gang had closed out 20, 19, 18 and had a mark on 17, and were also up 40 points. Cuppaglenn on the other hand had nothing closed at all. Nada. They were in a hole as big as The Grand Canyon, having hit only a 19 and a 20.

But they didn't quit. In fact, they dug in deeper, and fought harder. Cup was fired up, looked at IYH and said "you can't count us out, guy...long game" (remember the 'bull-run'). Cool-hand-Pike simply stepped up and responded with 5 17s to put the 'Bags up in points. The trench was dug.

Cup followed with 5 16s of his own. Flight Risk responded by battering the 20s. The tide was beginning to turn, however. Cup closed 19s. The other team tried to point, but didn't hit as hard as they wanted to, and were only up a few. Cup got us up again, just enough to set up 'cool-hand'. The Guy nails a trip-20 first dart. Then he pumped two in the 18s for the close. It came down to bulls or pointing. Learning from game 2, Pike told Cup to ignore the 16s and just go for the win. (Just call him "Glenn Close"). Cup went single bull, single bull.. double bull (though he only needed one) to slam the door and take what had to be one of the best cricket comebacks in Dartbags history.

A-1 quality stuff. They needed it in that last game. BIG sweep.

12-6 'bags.

DOUBLE '01: 4-2

Team Anger, Vince and Frank, took on Jim and Tom in doubles. It was Vince with a quick on and solid darts all the way down. 8 Rounds later we had a W. Frank got them in in game 2, and the 'Bags again raced out to a big lead. They cruised to a second 2nd win. Game 3 was more of the same. This time both teams got in quickly and Flight Risk pulled out to a lead. But Frank popped back to back Tons, and the 'Bags regained the upper hand. Sitting on 40. Frank missed high, missed high and then - Bang! He turned and politely shook hand with the other team. It was only after he got to the board that John said to him...

John: It was high.

Sh*t. Caught the damn wire. Coulda sworn it was in, but yet it was a case of Premature Articulation. Embarrassing. The game would turn out to be nailbiter with both teams sitting on 20. Then Frank turned his 20 out, into a 14 out. (Ugh.) But when G'Roots missed their shot, Vince came up with the clutch D-7 on his 3rd dart to pull the fat out of the fire. Whew! A sweep fo the 'Bags. 15-6

Cup and Glenn played John and Scott for the final set of the evening. Cup announced his presence with authority in game one , by sticking a 107-On. Piker took it out and were up 16-6. But John (who shot great all night long) and Scott who played his best darts of the night were tough. Both sides got in quickly in game 2. It was Flight Risk pulling out a close one. In game 3, the play wasn't quite as crisp. The old ODC again, I think. John and Scott got out in 9 turns to take the final point and end a very good day on a (slightly) sour note.

FINAL SCORE: DARTBAGS - 16: FLIGHT RISK - 8

This was a nice win for the 'Bags. The last time we faced this crew it was in A-2 at our place. They crushed us. (John was kind enough to remind us of this fact as we said goodbye for the evening, "Oh, I remember your bar... in fact we beat you there last time.") Yes. Yes, you did. We remember too. It was quite embarrassing. Of course, they had Omer at the time. Which helps. But we will look forward to seeing them on the Upper West later on and returning the hospitality that Jim (owner of Grassroots) was gracious enough to provide for us.

In the meantime, we'll see if this win is enough to boost the 'Bags to first place.

The streak is at 13 matches now. All the guys went at least 6/9. Kudos.

All Star Recap:

Frank - 785 (remains en fuego)
Cup - 587 (add a double-fisted-wall-punch...ouch)
Pike -377 (cool-hand-pike, surgical in cricket)
Vince -132 (inspired darts from the hornet's nest)

Week 2: Great Start + Great Finish = Good Day

2007-09-28T11:06:00.001-04:00

(CUP)TAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 09 - 24(28) -07

cup-tain's-log [kup-tuh nz, log], n - blog entry, wherein the
captain, Cpt. Furious, begins the writeup, but cannot finish
in time, either due to business or health issues, and the
co-editor/writer, Cuppa, is forced to abruptly finish and post the
aforementioned blog entry.

The Dartbags returned to George Keeley for the home opener, after a lacklustre 12-12 effort to start the season. It felt good to be back in the cozy confines. We had our favorite beers on tap, our favorite people (All 7 Dartbags -hooray! As well as Nell, Jessie and Ginsberg's crew) and a new, super sweet "Blade III" board purchased by Frank for the sole use of Dartbag home games.

We would square off against a team from Stout, The Alleymen. We had never faced this crew before, but their reputation preceded them. They romped through B league to become Champions, they whipped up on the other George Keeley team on 2 occasions, and they feature a number of Irishmen. All this adds up to one inescapable conclusion: The Alleymen are dangerous. And their 18-6 thumping of Flight Risk in week 1 was further proof.

Here's what happened.

SINGLES 501:

We sent out Pike vs. old friend (and fellow Tartan) Andre Glenn. Andre wasted no time setting the pace, by putting up a Ton. But Pike hung in there. Neither man was at his best and it became a dogfight. It was Glenn finding ol' reliable XX for the winner in 30 darts. Game two went to Andre on the back of his T-33 round and strong finish. Game 3 looked more like the first, a head to head slog. Andre opened a lead, but couldn't quite find the range on the double. Pike overcame the mathematics (and his own frustration) and once again nailed a D-1 winner to take the point. Fine comeback. 2-1 'Bags

It was Frank vs. Tim Tully in the second slot. The Captain came out gunning in this one with an early T-40 and a Ton. He seemed to find a T-20 every turn and turned in a crisp 21 Darter. Game 2 also featured vintage furious who took out a 64 with T-8, D-20 to turn in a 23 Darter. The last game was a contest with both men having a shot an out. Frank eventually found a D-4 to take the last point. 440 ASPs and 3 Ws. This was probably the sharpest the Furious one has looked in his A league career. And like that we were off to a great start 5-1 'Bags.

(ahem...)

Basically, here's what happened in general (it's friday, for crying out....):

Frank was on fire....the whole night as a matter of fact. En fuego...I think he had something like 800 asp's. Solid. Carried us most of the night. He won 8/9 also, which is....speaks for itself, quite Frankly.

To summarize the night...because it's already friday (dead horse)....we won the match, 14-10, against a really solid team. Overall, we should be happy. Our 'not losing' streak is now at 12 regular-season matches. Decent.

Notable Notes:

The Hornet's Nest made its season debut. It had been dormant since last season, so it's opener here in week 2 lacked a little bit of 'sting'. However (point is), I feel sorry for whoever we're playing monday. This is the type of thing that can smack The Nest like a pinata.....and we know how deadly that can be. Prediction?

Pain...

Cuppa's performance was about a 5. Was pretty darn accurate in singles, hitting 380 asp's, and a bunch of 70-somethings, triple 3's and 7's. He....I.....let an easy one slip away, so 1/3 ain't good.

Glenn was pretty solid. Especially in cricket. Between cricket and doubles 501, IYH and Furious took 5/6 against some pretty good shots, in Mark Collins, Tim Tully, and Andre Glenn, in varied combinations.

Cuppacenz got swept in cricket.....ouch. I think thats a first. We had leads in 2 games, but couldn't close out. Team 'Learyan' was also very solid. Including a devastating R7 by Leary in game 2, that fortified their comeback. Kudos to them...but we blew our chances there.

Cuppacenz did however get revenge on Gerry and Ryan in doubles 501, winning 2/3. They were all pretty close games. Cuppa was able to hit 2 pressure packed, much needed closes, including a d16, and a d2. Vince was solid, including a big ton, and gettin' on. Good finish, taking the last 2.

Overall, the night was fun. I, Cuppa, got stupid angry at one point, and I apologize. Thats not the Way of the Cup. An aberration. Won't happen again. The Cup will be half-full, at least, next time.

And The Hornet's Nest will be raging.....bank on it.

Kudos to Frank (8/9), and IYH (7/9), for solid darts, and carrying much of the load .

I have a feeling the 'Bags and the Alleyman will be duking it out 'til the end of the season.

Dont have the sheets, but here's my ASP recap...best guess:
(actually, I just checked the NYDO site, so here are the exact totals)

Frank - 775 (turning it back up a notch....just gettin' warmed up)
Cuppa - 380 (get your head on straight, guy...ok, I will)
Glenn - 291 (way below average, but who cares: 7 wins)
Vince - 100 (BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!)

Busy week this week. Sorry about the writeup delay, and resulting abbreviatto.

Thats right: abbreviatto.

Ciao.

Cuppa Giuseppe

'Weak' 1 Marathon Match

2007-09-18T11:55:00.000-04:00

'Bags Tie Nomads
Sans 'The Hornet's Nest'
In Marathon of Mediocrity
By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

This wasn't the way we drew it up.

Quite Frankly...I think we stunk.

Steve Sterns said it was a B-league match.
That's being kind. It was after 1am by the
time Frank put the final nail in the dartboard.
Appropriately, it was a stellar double-17.

Nice leave...now let's get the [heck] out of here.

It was absurdly, and embarrassingly late.

In the end, it was a tie: 12-12, against the Gaf's
'Nomads No More'.

Now, I hear Frank saying to me, "I think you're
being a little hard on us, guy...", although, I assure
you, Cpt. Furious' cheerios didn't go down so easy
this morning.

Here's the deal: our expectations are much higher
this season. Thats a big reason why I say we
stank up the joint. That, and we all shot our
low % game, but I don't want to belabor that point.

We finished last season strong.

We all had personal highs in ASP's. I, Cuppa, and the Captain,
both broke the 1000 pt/match barrier for the first time.
Vince was averaging about 600 a week.

Glenn reworked his game around his broken thumb,
and was starting to look more and more like the old IYH,
with a new grip and delivery.

BFT drank the entire beer library at George Keeley,
cementing his legendary status at 'the jeek'; a gold plate,
bearing his name, now hangs on the GK wall-of-fame.

Most of us also had our highest winning percentages
to date. Except Glenn. He set his bar just a bit higher
a couple of years ago, blowing away the field with an
83% winning percentage, en route to the A2 mvp award.

We had some great practice rounds this summer, at
the Irish Rover in Astoria (legendary darts pub),
the Gaf East with The White Hawk, Tom Lally,
'the thunderdome' in Glenn's living room, on his nasty
old practice board, where nothing sticks, and the
trebles look like dental floss.

All of this had us pretty jacked up for the season,
and couldn't wait to smack some big darts around.

But Vince had to fly to San Francisco for a last
minute business trip, so 'The Hornet's Nest' would
be exterminated for opening night.

Glenn was praying to the porcelain god all night
long, after getting food poisoning sunday evening,
we think from the chicken vindaloo, which was the
only thing we didnt both have.

Couldn't have been the Hill Country BBQ. That
stuff is nasty good.

IYH did manage to make it...though still "sick like dog".
(TM, our good friend EDNA)

BFT had some work related obstacles he couldn't get
around, so he was out as well. I actually have no idea
why he couldn't make it, but he couldn't and he wasn't.

And Colin, The Microwave, was...microwaving.

So...this is who the Dartbags would go to battle with:

'El Capitan de Furioso', Frank Murtha
'IYH', Glenn Arthur Pike
Mike 'GINS' Ginsberg, aka 'The Rocktologist'
Cuppa Joe Gasparino

Again, final score from the Gaf East:

DARTBAGS 12
NOMADS NO MORE 12

Here's what happened:

Me, Gins and Frank showed up early, and got a little
warm-up from The White Hawk. On second thought,
it wasn't much of a warm-up. And The Hawk was more
like Stephen 'Hawk'ing, sweeping down upon us
with talk of theoretical physics and existentialism,
which got us off track. Mind games from the Gaf's
loyal predator. It would prove to be effective.

Pints all around...ball-games on the tube...jukebox loaded
up with some good tunes...we were ready to roll.

Singles 501

Furious (vs) Joe Murray

It was slow-going for both guys, although Joe did manage
to smack 595 asp's. Overall, the games did go alot longer
than expected...a trend that would carry through the
entire night. Frank took 2/3, including an 8 rounder,
going out on 52 (5, 15, d-32). Score a T, T01 for Frank.
Less than normal, but enough to take 2 from a good shot
in Joe Murray, who said he hadn't touched a dart since
last season.

IYH (vs) Dave Smith

Glenn usually leads off, but since he was sick all night
and all day, Frank thought he should take a bit more
time to get settled. IYH took 2/3 from Dave, who's
an A1 shot. Mr. Smith nailed 439 asp's in the process.
Glenn nailed a tight d-2 winner in one, hitting a
T and T-20, through a haze of sickness and a little
frustration. Way to suck it up, guy. Dartbags up 4-2.

GINS (vs) Steve Sterns

This would be The Rocktologist's first full-match,
after playing only a handful of games in the NYDO
to date. We backed him up, provided some coaching
and Gins had a good go at it, against a good veteran
in Steve. He had legit chances to win in every
game, but doubling out is where inexperience can
really hurt you.

However...amidst motivational chants of
'We Will ROCK U." coming from Cuppa,
(Gins is a cancer research scientist at
Rockefeller University), he managed to do
something remarkable. In game 3, on his
third turn, he strung together back to back:

T17
T21
T12

Utter bedlam! And he left himself on 48
after just 5 rounds. WOW. Gins then hits
an 8 on his first dart, putting him on 40.

Then he missed the board, and missed the
d-20, out of bounds. In the end, he had
double-trouble again, and credit Steve for
hanging in there, and stealing the final game,
completing a sweep. Nice comeback.

Note: near the end of game 2, Gins busted
hitting a T33 while sitting on 134. That would
have made 483 points for The Rocktologist.

We were definitely proud of Gins for
sluggin' away in a tough spot. Nice job,
and way to provide the usual happy vibe
all night, win or lose.

Dartbags down, 5-4.

Cuppa Joe (vs) Rico Chiong

Despite feeling great lately, I never really
found my stroke. A bit disappointing,
way below expectations. However, Rico
never got his groove either, so all 3 games
were pretty close. Some good finishes allowed
me to ultimately snag 2/3. Rico did hit a T
and a T40, and by game 3 seemed to finally
get hot.

A win is a win, and we needed 2 to tie.
I got 'em. Dartbags tied 6-6 after singles.

Cricket

Frankinsberg (vs) Joe & Dave

Frank felt like he hadn't thrown a dart in a
week, so he needed to go first. Joe and Dave
are a tough team, and they blew the doors off
in game 1. Game 2 was a point war. Credit
El Capitan for a valiant effort, trading haymakers
with Dave. We didn't really expect that much
from Gins, understandably, so Cpt. Furious needed
to be more like the 'Bad Lieutenant'.

Impressive display, hitting a bunch of R4's, R5's,
just to hang in there. In the end, Dave's trebling
wore the 'bags down, and they came up short.
Frankinsberg played a tough game 3 also, but just
couldn't steal one. Sweep for Dave and Joe.

Furious: "We all congratulated each other for very
competitive matches. Both sides shot well and
enjoyed it."

Dartbags down, 9-6.

CuppaGlenn (vs) Steverico

We needed a sweep. We didn't get it, but we took 2/3.
We never had a strong start, but our short game was tight.
IYH smacked a C4 and an R7 along the way, and
looked solid.

Both of us were steady, made solid closes, and had
the bull by the horns. Steverico was game, especially
in the final. Rico had a huge R6 early in the game, and
they built a pretty good lead from there. We started a
good bull-run and almost came back, but ran out of time.

Dartbags down, 8-10.

Doubles 501

CuppaGlenn (vs) Joe & Dave

Glenn had to go first. It was absurdly late at this point,
and the guy was literally sick to his stomach. So CuppaGlenn
took on a great tandem in Joe and Dave.

Frank: "You guys were HUGE!"

Thanks, guy.

No flashy darts in this round. We got in quickly, and
didn't linger around. I can't remember exact details,
but the captain was pretty jacked up about it. Like
I said, nothing flashy, just blue-collar darts. All were
tense, close games. Joe and Dave were solid, as well.

Wins are wins, and we took all 3, which was massive.
We knew it would be tough for Frankinsberg to
win more than 1, and this put us in the lead.

Dartbags up, 11-10.

Frankinsberg (vs) Steverico

Frank: "It was 1 in the morning, and I was Frankly exhausted."

This Frankginstein amalgam came out limp, and had
double-trouble in all 3 games. Steve had a penchant for
hitting the d-20 in the middle of the game, and was hitting
more 80-somethings than a geriatric-gigolo.

Rico loaded up on points like a looter in a riot.
He made off with 3 tons and a 97.
In the final round of a marathon match, at 1:15am...

...pretty impressive.

The first 2 games were blow-outs by Steverico.
Game 3 would be different. Not different in the
beginning, as Frankinsberg found themselves
down 200 points to start off.

They didn't quit. They hung in there.

They were ALIIIIIIVE!!!

Frank: "We were on 335, and Ginsberg goes....."

Wait...I have to stop here. "We were on 335..."?
How the...what the...who the...why the...heck does
he remember this stuff?!

Anyway...

Frank: "We were on 335, and Ginsberg goes
83, we're on 252. Then I hit a ton. So, now we
were on 152. Those guys were well under 100,
but their short game was fumbling a bit.
Meanwhile, we were bringing it down.

Gins hit a trip-19 on his last dart to leave me
on 34. They had a chance to go out on d-2, but
missed. I hit the d-17 on my second dart and we
stole that game."

And that tied the match, 12-12. Steverico shot well.
Frank was, in his words, "bad", and Gins pitched in
with some good rounds.

Final word from the captain:

"Very, very late night, guy. We need to shoot better."

Missing Vince is a huge void to fill. He's like the
Dartbags Paul O'Neill, of the championship Yankees.
Remember them?

We'll bring it next week at full-strength. You know
'The Hornet's Nest' will be swarming with rage.

Kudos to the Gaf East, and the Nomads,
for being good hosts, as always. See you
at 'the jeek' next time.

ASP Recap:

Glenn - 485 (sick to his stomach)
Gins - 350 (nearly 483...we will Rock U!)
Frank - 301 (way to jump on the grenade)
Cuppa - 191 (blue collar, but went 7/9)

This also extends our 'not-losing' streak
to 11 regular-season matches. Decent.

Final note: retired Dartbag, Lou Henry, has started
a C-league team, comprised of employees at his
design firm. They are called "The Starving Dartists",
and are playing out of the Ace Bar in the east village.

The Dartbags wish 'em well, and good luck. We'll
follow their progress as the season goes.

Last night, however, they played a team called
"Stick It", from Amsterdam Billiards. Sorry to say,
this team, "Stick It", was an absolute disgrace.

They didn't know, or care, how to play, and had no
respect, whatsoever for the game. They had
a random friend sub in, who wasn't even a registered
NYDO player. Didn't pay attention, didn't care, and
made it difficult to play, period.

They had to be hunted down for ridiculous
periods of time, between turns and games, to the
point where they finished singles at nearly 11pm.

Near the end of round 1, Lou had to hunt down
2 of the players who were supposed to be playing,
out by the bar, hanging out. When asked what
they were doing, they replied, "we don't want to
play anymore...".

Roger: Amsterdam Billiards sponsored these
guys, who have no business in the league. I hope
the NYDO will do the right thing, and ban this
team, and the individuals from the league.

Not that they care.....but we do.

And, way to go, Amsterdam Billiards! Nice job.

Final, final notes:

LOOKALIKES, VOLUME 2

Tom Lally submits, Jonah Goldberg,
for Cpt. Furious.

DARTBAG ADIRONDACK TRAINING CAMP

2007-09-03T14:14:00.000-04:00

While most of New York was barbequing or hitting the beach this Labor Day, The Dartbags (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC TM) were up in the mountains, training hard at their Adirondack retreat. On hand were Captain Furious, The Hornet's Nest, IYH Pike, Gins, The Microwave and friend of the Dartbags, Michael "Bart" Bartolone.

The training was intense. But so was the fun, and we had many adventures. Below is a little photo diary of our weekend.

DART TRAINING: Bugsy Seigel had a vision of a casino in the desert. Vince had a vision of a dartboard on a tree. If you can dodge a wrench... you can dodge a ball. And if you can play Adirondack Tree Darts in the rain (which we did) then you can withstand all manner of distractions at New York Pubs. Take your best shot, Bad Open Mic Guy! Do your worst, Annoying Waiting For the Bathroom Guy! Bring it on, Drunk Chick Who Digs Glenn! The Dartbags will be focused like Shaolin Monks. We shall not be moved.

Adirondack Tree Darts (Vince and Frank pictured)

The Captain Fires a Shot

Vince's Trademark "Hornet's Nest" Followthrough

Piker Puts One "In Yer Hole"

DRINKING: Players swing heavy bats in the on deck circle so that their regular bats seems lighter when they get to the plate. That's the reason we hold Training Camp in the mountains. Science teaches us that drinking at high altitudes gets you drunk faster. (It's true.) And what better way for each 'Bag to work on flattening his ODC (Optimal Drinking Curve) than hoisting frosty beverages at 3000 feet? After consuming many cases of LaBatt's at our alpine cabin, we should be able to hold our liquor at sea level like champs. Look for a lot of strong closes and increased effectiveness in Double '01 this season from the 'Bags.

Vince Enjoys a Cold One, While Bart Reads The Racing Form, Gins On Grill

FOOD: Proper nutrition is important. But why bring food to the mountains, when the bounty of the Adirondacks is so plentiful? The Dartbags, armed only with their 22 oz. to- 25 oz. darts formed hunting parties and took to the forest. "Time to shoot me some dinner!", Pike said as we headed out into the night. We bagged two woodchuck, and Colin speared a delicious bass. And with Ginsberg marinating the critters in Peter Luger Sauce and an Italian/Worcestershire Mix... All I can say is "You cook a pretty good woodchuck, pilgrim!"

Delicious Woodchuck Meat (or if you prefer, "Groundhog a la Gins")

Gins Grilling Woodchuck Sausage

COMPETITION: We met a group of local toughs called the Riverbottom Nightmare Band at the Rustic Inn. Their leader, Chuck, said the bar wasn't big enough for the both of us and challenged us to game of darts to see who would leave. It was a good battle, but the Dartbags prevailed. And Mrs. Otter even baked us an apple pie to say thanks of ridding them of those "Riverbottom Hooligans". Hooray!

Riverbottom Nightmare Band, (Chuck pictured in middle)

RELAXING: After a long day of "2-a-Day" Tree Darts, Gopher Hunting, and High Altitude Beer Consumption, it's time to relax on the porch. The 'Bags chill out with some (more) beers, cigars and a game of poker. (From Left to Right, Vince, Bart, Colin, Glenn, Gins).

WILDLIFE: The Adirondacks are a wild place with many exotic (and tasty!) creatures roaming the woods. Black bears, the wiley muskrat, and the famed Deaf Mute Coyotes of Lake George. If you look closely at the picture below you might be able to make one out in the distance between the two trees.

Deaf Mute Coyote

But you probably can't, because the "DMC's" are invisible save only under a full moon. (And no, we weren't stoned. The Cabin is a drug-free zone. I'm telling you, the coyotes were there, man.)

Training Camp was a big success and the Dartbags will be primed and ready for a big season. (Look for the Good Guys of George Keeley to gun their way to a Subdivision title in A-3.) You can keep track of all their exploits right here at dartbags.blogspot.com

See you soon.

-Captain Furious

SPECIAL WRITE UP: THE A PLAYOFFS AND THE WISDOM OF THE CUP

2007-07-15T12:39:00.000-04:00

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 7 - 11 - 07

(NOTE: I apologize for the tardiness of the write up. I'm like you. I also like to go to blogs and see the latest posts. When they aren't up, it is irksome. So I'm with you. The first part contains a more generic write up. The summation at the end is courtesy of Cuppa Joe. His words, his picture. Back to darts...)

THE LEAD IN:

For four weeks they labored in frustration. They were drubbed in the first week 9-15. They produced a lacklustre effort in the second week. The third week, they were ignominiously thrashed in their home building 6-18. Who were these men? Certainly not the Dartbags (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC -TM). We were struggling like Paris Hilton taking an SAT. We even tried to have an organized practice, but ended up wasting more energy than Ricky Martin's girlfriend.

Nothing worked. It was a bummer.

But midway through week 4. Something happened at O'Flaherty's: We all got hangovers.

O'Flaherty's draught beers are famous for giving you hangovers, not the next day, but as you drink them. The effect of this strange brew was to change our chemistry. I mean that literally and figuratively. The fermented hops (w/ secret ingredient) altered the dopamine receptors inside our brains, inebriating us and inducing painful throbbing around the temples. But more than that, it changed the chemistry inside our team. As if a switch were flicked, we started to play better. And (not surprisingly) we began to have more fun.

We went on to win the night and we never looked back. We were undefeated the rest of the season. It took 28 days, but we were born again.

Amazingly, The Dartbags Spring 2007 incubation was exactly the average gestation period of our old friend, Ondatra Zibethicus. How's that for irony??

(CAPTAIN'S NOTE: It is, in fact, highly ironic. I know. I grew up on a river. I dealt with these furry and noble creatures on a regular and on-going basis. If you grew up on a river you would appreciate the irony and have a good chortle. Trust me. The muskrat analogy works. Works big time.)

With 5 weeks to go we got an additional infusion of chemistry (and firepower). Cuppa Joe returned from his island retreat in Florida to rejoin the squad. By the end of the year we were the best team in A-3. We could not overcome our fetal muskrat stage (few can, with the exception of the muskrat) and managed only a 3rd place finish. The hardware will have to wait. But we did accomplish a milestone - we made the A League playoffs.

Not bad for the little dart team originally known for having bar tabs that exceeded their All Star Points.

But we would face a major challenge. We would play Son of Leifer, the team we called "6 Grenades" because the depth of the team made it impossible to sacrifice a game (dive on a grenade) in hopes of preserving a better matchup. In fact, this was the same team that defeated us (gulp) 22-2 in our old building during our first season in A. It was a humbling experience.

Actually, no it wasn't.

We were already humble. What it was, was just plain embarrassing. But the squad had progressed. Things were gonna be different this time.

Cup was particularly fired up.

Cup: No more shines, Billy.

Craig: What?

Cup: I said no more shines, Billy. Maybe you didn't hear it, you've been away a long time...

Craig (pause): My name is Craig... what are you talk-

Cup: We don't shine shoes anymore!!!!

Craig: Okay, okay!... geez.

THE A LEAGUE PLAYOFFS:

SINGLES: 3-9

It was a great crowd at the Jeek. We had all our full contingent of players. Also on hand were retired Dartbags, Lou and Marty. Always great to see those guys. Many Dartbaguettes were there as well including Jessie, Nell -- there was even a rare Lillian sighting. It was going to be a fun night. And a lot of the reason why was the team we were playing, the aforementioned Son of Leifer, descendents of the house of Focker. This is a good bunch whom we remember from seasons past. In some ways guys on this team have been unofficial mentors to Dartbags (Craig and Julio come to mind), teaching us the game offering us encouragement going back to when were lowly (but ambitious) C League players. They were yukking it up so much pre-game that Frank jokingly admonished them, "Hey, guys... Cheer up".

Craig: Yeah, we haven't laughed like this for a while.

Mark: This used to be us every week.

The Playoffs: They make everyone a little giddy.

We started out by putting our best foot forward. Our best foot is named Glenn Pike. He faced Mark Patrick.

Folks, this was an A-1 match. Mark would put up an all star round (including a Ton-71), Pike would answer with a big round in return. Example: In game 1 after a hot streak by Mark opened a big lead, Glenn's raced down from 180 in two rounds and just missed a D-20 that would have stolen the first point of the evening. Not to be. Mark went out in 7 rounds, 8 rounds, 7 rounds - the last one a 20 darter - and maybe most importantly, he hit the Double first dart every time. Not much you can do but tip your cap. It was weird. We got swept, but it actually made us feel proud, because even though Mark was the better man, Glenn demonstrated that we belonged in this match and that we can compete with anybody. Great stuff from Glenn. Just ran into a British buzzsaw. 0-3 Son of Leifer.

With that mindset, Frank took on Ed Wilson in set 2. Frank got out of the gate at a gallop if not a sprint, hitting anything from 45 to 85+s and actually opened a decent lead. After Frank busted on a 78 (Note to Self: When on 78 throw 20 first THEN 18, not 18 first then 20 - there is no 2nd dart bust that way). It would be Eddie taking out D-8 to win the first match. But the Captain (fueled by his bottomless pit of rage) would recover with a respectable 26 darter to take out leg 2. The last leg provided some double out problems for both players, but Frank hit his XX first to take 2 out of 3. Fact is Ed didn't have his best game with him. (We've seen that game, it's nasty and it doesn't look like this). But if you're going to win, you're going to need breaks. We'll take it. 2-4. Son of Leifer.

Next it was Vince against Tom Kovach. Tom is capable of monster games (see his ridiculous 1722 ASPs to take the award for most points in a night this season). But Vince thrives on challenges and probably responds to getting smacked with more vigor than any other 'Bag. That's why he is The Hornet's Nest. It would be an interesting match. The darts, however, were less than stellar. Both players let the other stick around had each had a chance at game 1. But Tom hit it first. Vince was right with him in game 2, but it was not to be. In the final leg,"TKO" Kovach revved it up and was gone in 7 rounds. 2-7, Son of Leifer.

Cuppa Joe took on Julio Andrade in the final set. Julio is another player with a storied NYDO history. In fact he won the singles championship last year. But Cup has thrown many a dart with Julio down at The Edge. And Cup loves a challenge as much anyone. In the first game it was Cup "funneling" around the T-19, but maddeningly just missing the mark. (A cornucopia of T-3s). Julio took game 1. But Cup responded in game 2, taking out a 9 rounder with a D-4 to draw blood. Julio heated up in the final frame, however, smacking Ton-somethings. No stopping him this time. 3-9 Son of Leifer

CRICKET: 2-4

The 'Bags were hurting. So we decided to put our best foot forward again. (And Frank too.) Pike and Frank would take on old friends, Carlos Santiago and Craig Nobbs. In game 1, the Leifers fired out of the gate, five 20s from 'Los. Frank would respond with 2 19s. And that summed up the game. Son of Leifer just ran us off the board. Been a while since we gotten our butts kicked likt that. But in set two Pike would get it rolling with 5 19s and Frank closed the 20s. The 'Bags made good use of an open 19, tripping it when they needed points. The Good Guys of George Keeley, mainly on the back of Glenn (R-6, R-5, etc), pulled away and won the second game handily. The final set was a dog fight. The 'Bags raced out to a lead, but Carlos and Craig made a stand on bullseyes and just hammered them. Three at a time. Two at a time. Four at a time. Round after round of big darts saw the 'Bags lead evaporate. But it seemed like Pike had an answer each time, hitting a triple every round. (If there were a bright spot on the evening, it was that Glenn had regained his MVP form when we needed him most, and threw the riducudarts which had established him as an A-1 caliber shot.) It came down to a 2-2 bullseye contest and Frank finally hit a double to seal the game and take 2 out of 3. Whew! 5-10 Son of Leifer.

It was Vince and Cup taking on Julio and Mark, a very tall task. Julio and Mark are about as formidable a pairing as the NYDO produces. Vince and Cup were game. Solid darts (3 and 4 at a time) actually had pushed the 'Bags out to a lead in game 1. But the thing that becomes so clear when you play these top teams is that the margin for error is zero. It only took one missed closed, one missed triple to turn the game around. Julio and Mark would respond with a round of 6 (+/- 1) and before we knew it they had stolen a game. In the next 2 games it was more of the same. Julio and Mark dropping bombs. Vince and Cup battled and both had big rounds. Cup nailed 3 big bullseyes. Vince dropped an R-7. But the 'Bags couldn't land the deathblow and dropped the final two. 5-13

And that was that. The night was over after cricket.

FINAL: SON OF LIEFER: 13 - DARTBAGS: 5

So we got our first taste of A playoffs against a class A-1 opponent. We didn't play well. Which isn't to say we played terribly. But with the exception of Pike's hero darts, everyone else would rate their performance as average or worse. But, by the same token, Son of Leifer wasn't sharp. Cuppa Joe had a sage insight. He said that we could have easily be down 10-8 after cricket, but that they probably think they could have won 13-1.

Both opinions are correct.

That's why there are no woulda-coulda-shouldas in darts. There is no luck. You are what your record says you are. Tonight we were an A-3 team playing a class A-1 team. We need to play better if we want a big result. The good thing about playing the Leifers is that they're good company. You know when you play them you're going to have a challenge, a lot of laughs, a copious number of beers and an above average number of (manly) hugs. At the end of the night we all celebrated together toasting to both teams with a shot of Jamesons. Good stuff.

So we tip our collective cap to them and hope next time we give them a better fight.

So that was our season. All in all, a good one.

Every team member had a win % of at least 40% (that's never happened in A before).

Cup, Frank and Vince all set personal ASP highs.

Pike won 60% of his singles games... with a broken thumb.

Tim set a high out record.

Ginsberg actually won a set of singles.

Colin produced a winning record in cricket.

Next for the 'Bags is Steak Night, when we dine on the flesh of the world's tastiest mammals. It is the most venerable of Dartbag traditions (below is a list of the previous sites of steak night, with Frank's rating of each). This time we've decided to shake it up and go barbeque instead of pure steak. And, thanks to Farty's suggestion, we're doing it on 9/11 this year. (Our humble little way of saying f*ck you to the terrorists.)

Strip House - 5 Stars
Keen's - 4 Stars
Old Homestead - 3 Stars
Wolfgang's - ZERO Stars. Do NOT go to Wolfgang's. WORST SERVICE EVER.
Dylan Prime - 5 Stars
Del Frisco's - 4 Stars
Peter Luger - 5 Stars
Dinosaur BBQ - ? Stars

Congrats on the season, everyone. And thank you to those who came out to share in the fun and cheer for us. It wouldn't be the same without you.

See you in September. But I'm going to leave the final word to Cuppa Joe.

SUMMATION/ CUP-DATE (From Cuppa Joe):

At the end of the night, Jessie found a paper cup, sitting on the table of honor, alone, after all the smoke cleared, and everyone had left.

It was from starbucks, ironically, an empty cuppa joe.

Written on it are the following words:

"If I have given my all, and still do not win, I haven't lost. Others might remember winning or losing. I remember the journey."

- Apolo Anton Ohno, Five-time Olympic Medalist

And I guess, after all the darts have been thrown, this is why we did this in the first place.

(Well said, Guy.)

Packin' Up & Movin' On

2007-07-05T13:34:00.000-04:00

Dartbags Win the Finale - Playoffs Next

This past Thursday, I attended the NYDO
captains meeting.

Our ‘big-toe’, El Capitan, Frank Murtha, was off
on a dangerous tutoring mission, and couldnt make it.
The Dartbags needed a guy to represent, so I offered
to be that guy.

Now....I know I run the risk of being a ‘dart-dork’
for attending, and offering, to go to the captains
meeting, but lets face it: if being a ‘dart-dork’ is wrong,
I dont wanna be right. I dig it.

I ran into some old friends of the Dartbags, including
Tony Roman, Andre Correa, and Craig Nobbs, who
informed me of the hazing ritual. Good times.

We knocked a few back, yukked it up a bit, and voted
on some league issues.

One guy was pushing to add games to B division
matches, but since playing until 2am isnt very desirable,
that idea flew like a led zeppelin. As someone blurted out,
"If you want more games....make it to A league."

Another issue that came up is when guys miss their
singles 501 turn, and how it should be handled.

Someone complained that its not fair since they’re filling out
their lineup card based on who they see is there, not knowing
who is missing. Some other complaints were voiced.

A few weeks ago, I missed my singles games. A guy on the
other team was being a stickler saying that if I didnt make it
back before the first round of doubles cricket was over,
they wouldnt let me make it up.

Come on, guy.

A better case in point:

A couple of months back, we let a guy make up his singles games
when the match was OVER, and he kicked the crap out of us.
We didnt know who he was. We do now......Matt Traub.

The way Roger left it, and what I think makes sense, is
its up to what the captains can agree upon at the time.
But be reasonable.

Bottom line:

Like Fonzie says, be cool, but also let the guy make up his singles
games. And while you’re at it, kick the jukebox......especially
the new-jack digital one at The Jeek. That thing is on the fritz
more than the ConEd power grid in Queens.

BUT....the main reason for the meeting was the playoff bracket.
We learned the following:

Monday, July 9th
Dartbags (vs) Son of Leifer
At George Keeley, aka "The Jeek".

A tough draw against a good A1 team.
Should be a good one against some old
friends, and old competitors from our
A-league tuesday night stint. Which, if
you blinked, you missed it.

Things are different now. Man for man,
I know each of us feels good against anyone.
I'll leave it at that.

Spring 2007 Season Finale

The Dartbags regular season ended last monday, with a ho-hum
13-11 victory against Nomads No More. Ho-hum, because we only
needed 1 point to clinch the playoffs, and we were pretty much
locked into 3rd place no matter what happened. As a result, we
concentrated more on having a good time than trying to
stick it to the Nomads.

This weeks match recap is a bit abbreviated since Captain Furious
lost the sheets. He said “someone absconded with the sheets”, but
stop trying to pass the buck, guy. You’re the captain. Take
responsibility. As a result, we’re wingin’ this baby.

First off (as Frank usually starts out), Jessie, Nell, Hope
and Greg Stevens, old friend, and now friend of the ‘bags as well,
showed up, along with some others, making it a jolly time had by all
We drank, we laughed, we cried....

On with the darts

Singles 501

IYH, Glenn Pike, and Thumbonculous, took on
Dave Smith, a good shot. Pike got swept, due to a slick
19 darter by Dave, and some mind games from
Thumbonculous. The Piker did nail a couple hundred asp’s
in game 2, after he switched to 20's. Not enough though.

3-0 Nomads. Thanks Thumbonculous.

Funny: after Frank explained our magic number situation,
(needing just 1 point to clinch playoffs) to Ginsberg, he responded
on its anti-climactic nature:

Ginsberg: “Maybe we leave the champagne on ice for this one.”

After the round 1 sweep, we decided to get a little more serious.

El Capitan went up next, and took 2/3 games against
Jeff Caparella. In game 1, Frank took out a D-2 to seal our
playoff berth. Not vintage Furious, but 2/3 aint bad, and
an X-out in the final game nailed that down.

4-2, Nomads.

I, Cuppa, stepped up next, against the Nomads Joe,
Joe Murray. A Ton-80 by Nomadic Joe, in game 2,
helped prevent a sweep by Cuppa, who took 2/3.
Angered by losing game 2, Cup started game 3 with a
Ton-33 and a 95. After 18 darts, and on 40, Cup wired
a D-20 on his first, and nailed the second, completing
a 20 darter. A sharp double-double, D-8, D-8 out hilited
Cup’s first game.

5-4. Still down, but motorin'.

Before the last round, Frank stepped up to
‘The Table of Honor’, looking for his beer. Its the usual
4-5 pints, all similar looking. A common problem. They
were all staring at the captain. Oh, what the heck....he grabs
one, only to be arrested by Steve Sterns, of the Nomads:

Steve: (Full Metal Jacket voice) “This is my beer. There are
many others like it, but this one is mine.”

Vince, The Hornet’s Nest, took on Private Steve in the final
round. The Nest was as deadly as its been all season in singles,
and racked up about 500-600 asp’s (dont know exactly,
thanks Frank). But you get the point. Vince only took
2/3. I say ‘only’ because the way he was shooting, a sweep
looked like a foregone conclusion, and anyone on a good
game probably would have gotten swept.

Vince left himself on X in game 3, and couldnt take it out.
Steve hung in there and took it out before the Nest got
another chance to swarm.

6-6 after singles.

Cricket Anyone?

Cuppa, Vince and Frank performed a round-robin coin flip
to see who would sit out in cricket. It would prove a waste
of time:

Frank: “Cup lost, so Glenn, it’s gonna be you and......”

Glenn: “Guy, I’m sittin’ out, guy.”

So, Frank and Vince took on Dave and Joe in the first round.
BFT and Cuppa took on Jeff and Steve in the second.
When it was over, kiss your sister; 3-3 in cricket, 9-9 overall.

Frankenvince got whacked in game 1. Tough darts by
the bad guys. Vince was ‘Steve Nashty’, and a back to back R-7
and R-6 by Frank crushed game 2 for the ‘bags. The rubber
match went our way. We took 2/3 from a good team.

Black Widows Dipped In Jamesons

What sounds like an exotic culinary invention is actually
Frank’s bizarre pre-throw ritual, that apparently has
been going on all season, but was made famous during
this week’s cricket round.

It has supplanted the ‘Dippy Bird’ as his ritual of choice.

Between turns, Frank, looking posessed, came back
to our table (The Table of Honor), and, while singing to
himself, picked up his glass of Jamesons. He proceeded to
dip his black-widow darts into the Jamesons, then let it
drip into his mouth, sometimes licking the darts themselves.
At one point, he even dipped them in Ginsberg’s glass.

Wow, guy.

But it was the hilite of the round. And, in my opinion,
one of the hilites of the entire season. Gins and I were
awe-struck, and at the same time, impressed as hell.

I think I may try it next time.

He insists it helps guide the darts where he wants them
to go. Turn after turn went by, and I had to ask:

Cuppa: “Why, guy?”

Frank: “It makes me feel closer to my darts. Like, when
I was a kid.....I used to sleep with my baseball glove
under my pillow.”

Oh.....I see it now. What a touching, heart-felt comparison.
A young boy and his newly oiled baseball glove, with
dreams of growing up to be Don Mattingly. A 36 year-old
man sticking dirty metal darts into a glass full of whiskey,
getting drunk.

Wow.

Now, BFTeam-Cuppa is hazy, and again, Frank let the sheets wander,
but I do know we lost 2/3, and didn’t play up to our standards.

A Cuppa-Double-Bull did end game 2, and a
few back to back R-4, R-5, R-4 helped it along the way.

BFT was so mad at one point, that as I was attempting a
“Get ‘em next dart” slap on the back after a bad streak,
he scared the daylights out of me:

(Walking right past me, leaving my consoling hand dangling...)

BFT: “Don’t touch me.”

I was still quaking in my flip-flops from BFT’s cold-shot,
and game 3 was lost after a late-gate effort. A C-3 by Cup, and
some pointing by The Big Friendly One. The point war
went on, and on......and on. Too little, too late. Game over.

Like I said, 9-9 after cricket.

Team 501: Dublin’ In & Dublin’ Out

The recap of doubles 501 is hilited by a few things. None of
which are detail oriented, especially concerning specific darts
thrown.

Southpaw Blues

Frank and Glenn lost 2/3, which, in my opinion, should not
have happened. All the games were more than win-able,
and Frankly, was one of the lamest rounds I’ve seen in a while.

But Frank did try his best, and ended up going out on 88 in the final
game (tre 16, dub 20), to save from being swept. The Captain
blames the ODC (Optimal Drinking Curve). That may be
partially responsible.

Glenn decided to throw lefty, in all 3 games. I think that had
a little more to do with it. However, Frank may be on to something
as well. The southpaw’ing was a bit painful to watch, and caused
a major increase to the Captains Jamesons intake, thus upsetting
his ODC balance.

It worked hand-in-hand, no pun intended.

And we were now losing, 11-10.

Senor Cocon & The Hornet’s Nest

Vince and I, Cuppa, had our usual, quick pow-wow,
which takes all of 3 seconds. It goes something like this:

Vince: “We need all 3, guy.”

Cuppa: “Yeah, guy. Let’s do it.”

Thats all we need to get jacked up, and we did need all
3 to pull out the victory. Come to think of it, though,
no matter what the situation is, its the same exchange
every time.

When this one was over, CuppaVince had completed a sweep.
We went in quickly, and went out quickly. Some all-star rounds,
mixed in with a bunch of 85's, 79's and 60's, made it a solid
and efficient effort. Probably the most efficient round of the
season. CuppaVince once again proved a formidable pair
in doubles 501.

Great way to end the season, and snag the week’s victory.

Dartbags win, 13-11.

Allstar recap (just checked the NYDO site):

Vince - 677
Frank - 430
Cuppa - 418
Glenn - 334

Vince went 7/9 also. Way to go.....guyyyyyyy.

Great season, guys. Sorry I missed half of it. If I was here all
season, we would have taken 1st place. But thats just one
guy's cupinion....cocon-esque, as it may be.

Again....

Playoffs: Son of Leifer, Monday, at GK. Check it out.

Cuppa Joe Gasparino

CUP-DATE TO FOLLOW SOON

2007-06-30T18:46:00.001-04:00

(hat tip to http://icselect.blogspot.com/)

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #12: THE (PEN)ULTIMATE VICTORY

2007-06-13T17:49:00.000-04:00

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 06 - 11 - 07

Week 12 in the NYDO. Crunch time. The home stretch. Where the rubber meets the road. This is the time that tries men's souls. This is the time when the games mean everything or nothing at all.

Or they mean a little bit. (Kinda depends really.)

Thanks to a second half forfeit by Bull Busters, week 12 meant the penultimate match for the Dartbags (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC - TM ). There will be no lucky 13th (we get a forfeit win for zero points), just a week 14 match against Nomads No More at our place.

The 'Bags were taking on one of the top teams in the division, Bullistics, the crew from Fitzgerald's. The last time we played this team, we staged a big comeback and managed to pull out a tie. We knew if we wanted a good result this time around, we'd have to bring our A game. Or more to the point, our A-2 game.

It was a great crowd at GK. Original Dartbaguette Hope was there along with her sister, Heather, making 2 out of 3 Klopchins. (Which isn't bad). Nellie was there. Of course. And, impressively, Jess made it out even after completing her drive up from Florida with Cup.

In fact, the only absent member of the team was Colin who, as a hostage negotiator, was called up to Ardsley, NY to talk a jealous husband out of shooting his unfaithful wife in a domestic standoff. I imagine it went something like this.

Colin: Unhand her, you fiend!

But enough about life on the job. Here's what happened in darts.

SINGLES: 8 - 4

Uberbag, Pike was still trekking over the river, so it was up to Frank to lead off against Joe Taras. The Captain got out of the gate well winning a close affair in 24 darts, the highlight being a timely 79 out. (19, 20, D-20). In the second contest, Joe nearly took out an out for the ages. Sitting on 164, he went T-20, T-20, but couldn't connect on the D-12. With both players settling on 12, it was Frank who hit the D-6 first. In the final game, Frank turned an 8 out into a D-1 winner on the third dart to squeak out a point. Joe had swept Frank last time around, so I guess it's only fair. 3-0

Vince took on Tom Curley. Tom won the first in . Vince hit his stride in game two with strong darts and went out in 9 rounds. But he saved his best darts for the final leg. 81 first throw. Then a Ton. Then an 85. Then another Ton. A minor hiccup of 45... and Vince was sitting on 90. When he went 18, T-20, he was just a a D-6 away from an 18 darter, but it missed wide. With a 250 point lead, sitting on 12 it looked like Vince had this one. But Tom whittled the lead down. Then he just missed a 116 out. He would take it in the next round. Vince probably throws the best darts of the day and just a point to show for it. Dang. 2-4

Glenn faced off against old friend, Liam Keane. Glenn also appeared to be battling not only Liam but the Thumb Demon, Thumonculus. He would drop the first - literally and figuratively. But he would also begin to find his stride. Pike threw solid darts, smacking a 95 and a 97 and took the second point. In the third leg, it was vintage Glenn needing just a 2 darts to nail a big 96-out. Good stuff. 6-3

Cuppa Joe faced off against James Eugenia in the final set. Despite being in a car for 7 hours, Cup hit the ground running with a 121 on his first turn. James on the other hand was having a hell of a time. It was as if his darts had been coated in teflon - they just couldn't seem to stick in the board. After his third bounce out, Cup offered a sharperner. It worked. James hit a Ton-20 next round. His teammate joked, as Cup went up to the line,"That's why I'd never do that!"

Cup: It's good karma, guy.

Sure enough, Joe' hit a T-19, 19, T-7 for a 97. Cup would take out a D-5 next round.

James would take the second game in a close match. In the final game Cup hit a 159 -- which at first I thought was impossible, but actually can be done with two T-17s and a T-19 which is what he did -- as well as a T-30. James stormed back with a Ton and T-19, but Cup buried a D-2 for the final point. 507 ASPs for Cup. 8-4

CRICKET: 4 - 2

The Greenacres Gang, Frank and Tim, would take on the Eugenia brothers, Anthony and James in the first round of cricket. Frank came out gunning with an R-5. Then he ordered a beer. Vince offered him an observation.

Vince: You're good when you're a little drunk. But not too drunk. There's a balance... You gotta be like the Fed managing interest rates.

The old ODC (Optimum Drinking Curve). Sage advice. Keeping his drinking rate at a steady 5.25% Frank would hit an R-7 an R-4 an another R-5. Tim would seal it with two bulls to take the point. In the second game, Frank and Tim kept up the hot darts, this time it was Frank with a Double Cork winner. In the third game, the Eugenias began to hit their stride, including an R-6 of 20s and 19s by Anthony. But Tim answered that with a two T-18s and a single 18 for an R-7 - and all of a sudden we had a dart match. The Bullistic brothers would pepper the 20s and 19s and the 'Bags dug in firmly and returned fired from the18s. It was a good battle. Sort of like a Dart version of the Alamo - The Dartamo. Unfortunately, they were Santa Ana and we were Sam Houston. The hold out failed. And despite a big bull run... the 'Bags fell just short and Bullistics took the final point. 10 -5

Vince and Cuppa took on Tom and Liam in the second set of cricket. The 'Bags shot well. Vince chipped in with an R-6 and closed out the match soon after with a pair of bulls. The Bullistics would win the second match. In the final match, Cup hit an R-7 and the 'Bags opened up a huge lead. But Tom led a big comeback by hitting back to back C-4s (Liam hit a pair in between them). Ten bulls in a hurry. Suddenly we had a close match. Cup responded by going for points. He hit a triple 17 first dart and followed that with D-Bull to finish the match. 12-6

DOUBLES '01: 3 - 3

Frank'nPike took on Anthony and Cliff in the final set. The ODC was on the decline at this point, but the 'Bags kept it together. Frank got them in in game 1 and Pike got them out on 88 with a sweet 16, T-14, D-20 finish. Bullistics got on first in the second leg, and created separation with a T-40 from Anthony. They would take the point. In the final game, Pike hit a T-35, Frank hit a 98. After messing up a 32 out, Frank would clean up that mess in his next turn going out on 7 (3, D-2) to end the set.
CuppaVince would take on Tom and Liam in the final set. In the first game, it was Cup (once again) providing the highlight of the set. After Vince got the 'Bags on the dance floor, Cuppa would go first dart T-19, Second dart, T-19, Third dart... T-19. A 171 patch for Joey Pep! He would go on to pop a 95 and T-33 later on in the set to post a Top Line ASP performance with 1046 (also a Dartbag record, breaking the 1008 set by Frank earlier in the year). Cup would finish the match with a D-1. It was Liam responding by firing off a fired off a 101-on to start the second match (he did that last time we played them too) and Bullistics never looked back. Not that game, not the next. Bullistics would take the final point and the next one to end the evening.

But even if the night ended on a down note, we were so high it didn't matter. This was a big night. We accomplished a lot. We had some good laughs. We put up one hell of a bar tab. We secured a good result against a top caliber team. And Big Friendly Tim solved the issue of overcrowded prisons by coming up with a plan; sentencing white collar criminals to be rodeo clowns; "The White Collar Rodeo".

The wheels are in motion.

Kudos to Bullistics. We know we didn't see their best darts tonight (which we know as well as anyone is frustrating as hell), but that didn't stop them from competing hard and being enjoyable company all night. We wish them well in the playoffs.

Friends of Dartbags; it's too late for us to win this subdivision. We simply got out of the gate too slowly with a 9-15 opener and that 6-18 catastrophe two weeks later. So no hardware this year. But the good news is the team is playing well now. We haven't dropped a contest since week 3, we have Cuppa Joe back who's adding a lot firepower to the attack, and the whole team is shooting a lot better. We're going to make the playoffs and get a shot an A-1/A-2 team. (Dare to dream, people.) And we have one last home game. Let's enjoy it. See you in two weeks at George Keeley.

FINAL SCORE: DARTBAGS - 15 : BULLISTICS - 9

All Star Recap:

Cuppa Joe: 1046 (A new D'Bag record! Congrats, guy.)
Frank: 578
Glenn & Vince: 520 each
BFT: 140

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #11: LATE NIGHT AT THE GK

2007-06-06T10:42:00.003-04:00

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 06 - 04 - 07

This one almost isn't worth writing up. We played Average Jack and we won 14 - 10 (singles 8-4, cricket 3-3, doubles 3-3). We probably played our worst darts of the season. In fact, the only drama of the evening was whether Cuppa Joe would make it to the match after his flight got pushed back 47 times. (He did, eventually.) But a late start, awful darts, and tactical (though legal) stalling made for a disjointed evening and poor darting environment. How bad was it? We finished a 1:45. I know. I can hardly believe it myself. Dreadful.

The Highlights:

Cup won 7 of 9.

Glenn won 8 of 9.

Colin scored a win in cricket.

Ginsberg notched a W in '01.

And last but not least, one of their guys went AWOL for his doubles match. No one could find him. An hour later he bursts out of the ladies room like a bat out of hell. That's right. He passed out... on the hopper... in the ladies room... for an hour.

That's a first in Dartbag history.

Even our metaphors sucked. Here's Colin describing the cricket match in which we won the first game and lost the last two:

Colin: It was like a little stream of pee that you try to keep going but you can't and it just like, trickles out. (pause) Man that's a bad analogy... that doesn't even make any sense.

No sense at all. But nothing did that night. So be it. The next write up to follow a lot sooner. I promise.

And yes. I know I suck. So please don't remind me.

That is all.

Angus, The Scottish Pigeon Says...

2007-06-06T10:42:00.001-04:00

Hold yer horrses, laddy! The Cap'n 'll post the wrate up when he can!! In the meantime... go heeere or I'll crap on yerr heed!!!

HAVE A HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY

2007-05-26T11:57:00.000-04:00

And let's remember those who gave their lives so we can be free

"Here Rests In Honored Glory An American Soldier Known But To God"

-The Tomb of the Unknowns, Arlington National Cemetery