APOLOGIES FOR WEEKS 12 & 13

I dropped the ball on those. Meant to do it and got sidetracked. A few belated words on week 12. We tied Tempest Imperials 12-12. And, as usual, they were good company. There were 2 things worth highlighting and one thing that wasn't. The first was Vince's impressive sweep in 01 over Ed, no small feat. It also helped us go in to cricket at 6-6 because the three other players (Glenn, Tim and Frank) all dropped 2 of 3.

The second thing worth highlighting was Pike's contribution.

It called to mind that classic scene in The Princess Bride in which Inigo Montoya (Glenn) is dueling with Westley.

Westley: Why are you laughing?

Glennigo Montoya: Because I know something joo do nah know.

Westley: What's that?

Glennigo Montoya: I am not left-HANDED!

That's right! With his right hand disabled, Pike went southpaw and still managed to take a point in singles. Then he positively carried Frank in cricket leading to two more points. That's why he is the Alpha Bag. Impressive stuff. Plus it provided all sorts of comic fodder and movie references throughout the evening.

At one point in cricket it seemed he may be losing his touch. Frank offered a suggestion that Tim overheard

Frank: Maybe you should switch from southpaw.

Tim (jumping in with his best Rocky): No tricks! No tricks!

Awesome. Pike's gritty effort and Vince's impressive sweep of Ed in singles were the highlights.

Now on to the lowlight; that which sucked.

Apparently, there is a rock and/or roll band called The Fray that has some catchy hit song. How do I know this? Because the effing stereo system was broken and repeated their crappy song over... and over... and over again. To be fair, it is possible this song didn't suck the first time. Nor even for that matter, the second time. However, after the 10th freaking time... it became the worst f#cking song ever. (With the possible exception of "We Built This City", by Starship, which, coincidentally was used in a similar fashion by my fraternity as a means of tormenting pledges.)

It gave rise to the following conversation

Frank: What band is this?

Nell: The Fray

5 minutes later.

Frank: What band is this?

Nell: The Fray

5 minutes later

Frank: What band is this

Nell (long pause): It's still the Fray.

Frank: Wait a minute... is THIS THE SAME F#CKING SONG???

Yes. It WAS the same f#cking song... for 40 f#cking minutes.

I found a lyric site and cut and pasted the last 3 verses of the song.

This is what we were subjected to for the better part of an hour.

And everyone knows I'm in Over my head Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime She's on your mind She's on your mind Everyone knows She's on your mind Everyone knows I'm in over my head I'm in over my head I'm in over... Everyone knows I'm in Over my head Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime She's on your mind She's on your mind.

I don't give a rat's ass what Kasey Kasem or 50 million teenagers with their super-accessorized I-pods say... this song SUCKS. Okay? It SUCKS. And I will fight any man who says otherwise. I'm sure it's playing on a freaking loop, on the slow elevator ride to Hell as we speak. Hell, Saddam Hussein is probably still humming it to himself during his daily parcheesi game with Jeffrey Dahmer, Pol Pot and Joseph Stalin at "Cafe Lake of Fire".

Saddam: I'm in ovare my head. I'm in ovare my head...

Dahmer: What band is that?

Saddam: Eeet's "The Fray".

Stalin: Da! They really suck

Saddam: Tell me about it, comrade.

Pol Pot: When OJ get here? We need fifth.

The Dartbags now have 3 Mortal Enemies: Carly Simon, Barry Williams (long story. don't ask), and The F#cking Fray.

Welcome to the club!

(Whiny punks.)

As for week 13... it was the worst week in the illustrious history of the Dartbags. We just sucked (not "Fray-sucked", just normal sucked). Omer and Flight Risk shot well and kicked our ass. Do I sound bitter?

Yeah. I thought so.

Kudos to Vince and Glenn.

That is all.

-Captain Furious