WRITE UP FOR WEEK #9: GRIN AND "BEAR" IT
CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 5 - 15 - 06.
Back in the cozy confines of GK, the Dartbags were ready to take on their friendly rivals, Where's Cork? (a whimsical double entendre that simultaneously alludes to playing darts drunk as well as the county in southern Ireland.) Actually, it was a bit of a tenser mood than usual. Frustration from last week (when we got whipped downtown by the 1997 NYDO All Star Team) seemed to carry over. With a bitter taste in our mouths, the 'Bags were looking to score some points of our own.
It was a relatively small turnout for the evening. Absent was our stalwart, Vincenzo, along with the legendary Colin "The Microwave" O'Donnell. On top of that, Marty "Farticus" Yoo would have to leave early. (Perhaps that was for the best... he was spared the carnage of the third period). 'Baguettes (as usual) made the scene, Hope and Nellie to make us look goooood.
Here's what happened:
Glenn squared off against Kevin in the first set. It was a close match, but when Kevin missed his chance for an out, Glenn didn't let it slip away. Sitting on 71... first dart T-13, 2nd dart D-16. Bang! 1-0. This seemed to fire up Kevin who opened the second game with a T-40. He followed that with a frustrating turn of 3 triple 1s. This also seemed to fire him up because in his next turn he moved the target over an inch and put 3 darts in the triple 20 for a T-80. The lesson would appear to be, "don't fire up Kevin." He would go on to take the game. But Glenn would rebound and another solid effort gave him the tie breaker. 2-1 'Bags.
Capt. Furious followed against Tom. A choppy affair finally ended when Frank hit a D-10 out. Tom avenged the loss after Frank couldn't hit D-9. He stuck a T-35 to land on 40 closed it out soon after. (Note: This pattern of play would would later lead to his being dubbed The White Hawk -- Leucopternis Albicollis to you ornithologists out there -- I.e., He circles around... circles around... gets down under 200 and then -- SWOOP! -- two rounds later, he's gone. Frank would again struggle to hit the double 9 but finally managed at 9, 1, D-4 out to take the tie breaker. 4-2 D'Bags.
This unfortunately was as good as it would get on the evening.
Cup then faced off against, Harlan. Cup wasn't on his game, but I'm not sure it would've matter that much. Harlan served up a pu-pu platter of all star scores 97, 123, 136, 123... (what ever happened to a plain old Ton?). The third contest was close, with Cup rounding into shape, but Harlan broke out his patented "Achy Blaikie Dart" (good one, Cup) and stuck a D-16 to complete the sweep. Tip the cap. Move on. 4-5.
Big Friendly Tim would face off against professional 'Bag killer, Brian. Neither man was especially sharp, but Brian had enough to pull out game 1. At this point, Frank went to the jukebox to punch up some tunes. First song, "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand. An excellent choice for '01. Tim responded on cue and won the second match. However, the song playing during the tie breaker would also prove to be prescient -- "I Can't Stand Losing" by The Police. (A terrible choice.) Brian heated up in the third, and we dropped the rubber match. 5-7 at the end of singles.
FrankenTim would start off cricket against Kevin and Brian. In the first game the home boys blew a lead and lost a 19s vs. 15s war. No excuse for that. In the second game, 2 bulls would've won. Couldn't get it done. In the last game, we just got housed. Some valiant darts along the way. But not good enough. Sweep for the bad guys. 5-10.
Up next was Glenn and Cuppa Joe vs. Never Shakey Harlan Blaikie and Capt. Jason. The format calls for a game of cricket. But it didn't feel like we were watching a game of cricket. It felt more like (to borrow a George Carlin line) "like watching flies f*ck". Utter tedium. And the games took for-EVer.
Glenn didn't seem to have his usual swagger, So Tim and Marty pulled him aside to give him a pep talk :
Tim: You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and with fangs-
Marty: .-- big f*cking teeth, man.
Tim: Yeah... big f*ckin' teeth on ya'... you know, you got these claws and you're staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you're thinking, "How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?"
Marty: --And you're poking at it, you're poking at it...
Tim: : Yeah, you're not hurting it, you're just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? ... And you got these f*cking claws and these fangs, man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With *this* you don't know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?
Marty: You're like a big bear, man.
It seemed to help a little. But not really.
At times it seemed like Glenn and Cup were actually a 4 man team. Themselves, plus their alter egos Slippy and Norwood with whom they would tag team in and out of the match at random intervals.
Norwood: Whiff
Slippy: One drop, one mark, one miss
Norwood: Wide right, wide right, wide right TAG!
Glenn: Five 19s TAG!
Cup: Two bullseyes TAG!
Slippy: Another whiff
And despite it all, the Dartbags nearly swept the round! Let's face it -- The Gaffers weren't playing well either. If not for a comical 5 minute stretch at the end of game 3 in which Slippy, Norwood, (as well as the Gaffers) absolutely refused to hit the winning cork, the Dartbags would taken all 3.
So, what the heck?, we'll take the points. 7-11 going to doubles.
I sort of wish I could stop writing here. But posterity compels my hand. Seatbelts, please. And shoo any young children away from the monitor.... this is gonna get ugly.
Frank and Tim went up against Kevin and Brian. Same result. If you don't hit your outs right away against guys like that, you simply can't expect to win. 3 more down the tubes.
Glenn and Cup went up against Tom and Harlan in the final set. The first was close. Then -- SWOOP! --The White Hawk hit a T-32 to leave Harlan a nice out. He cashed it in. In game two, Cup opened with a crazy T-35 on. (A high on is now a weekly occurrence for Cup.). But the Gaffers hung with them. It got down to about 180 a piece when -- SWOOP! -- Tom hit a T-35 to leave Harlan an out. They would again cash it in. Pike followed Cuppa's lead in the final game of the night and smacked a High on of his own (101). But... aw hell. You know the story. They got down and got out first. Another sweep and a pair of frustrated Dartbags.
Perhaps too frustrated? It was Paul-O'Neill-circa-1996 -like. If there were a water cooler present, I'm sure someone would have overturned it. It's too bad our passion couldn't be channeled into better darts. We all expect better from ourselves.
In fact, that Swingers analogy pretty much sums up the evening.... Them ... Us.
We're still a little too "Mikey". We have fangs and claws (witness Pike's 71 out, Cup's high on, all the R-7s from cricket.) But we just don't seem to know how to use them sometimes. We still have the killer instinct. But less thinking/wallowing and a little more confidence would go a long way toward letting it surface. We're facing another bunch of predators on Monday, the first place McCarthy's team. And we're facing off in their den. Sharpen your claws, gentlemen. We'll need 'em.
Line of the Night (TM). Cup after having a dart pop out in Double 01
Cup (to Tom): That was an embarrassing bounce out.... got any Viagara?
Tom: Hey, at least it shot.
Cup: Yeah... but the board wasn't satisfied.
That's restaurant quality innuendo, folks.
All Star Recap:
Cap: 580
Cup: 539
Pike: 416
BFT: 288
Back in the cozy confines of GK, the Dartbags were ready to take on their friendly rivals, Where's Cork? (a whimsical double entendre that simultaneously alludes to playing darts drunk as well as the county in southern Ireland.) Actually, it was a bit of a tenser mood than usual. Frustration from last week (when we got whipped downtown by the 1997 NYDO All Star Team) seemed to carry over. With a bitter taste in our mouths, the 'Bags were looking to score some points of our own.
It was a relatively small turnout for the evening. Absent was our stalwart, Vincenzo, along with the legendary Colin "The Microwave" O'Donnell. On top of that, Marty "Farticus" Yoo would have to leave early. (Perhaps that was for the best... he was spared the carnage of the third period). 'Baguettes (as usual) made the scene, Hope and Nellie to make us look goooood.
Here's what happened:
Glenn squared off against Kevin in the first set. It was a close match, but when Kevin missed his chance for an out, Glenn didn't let it slip away. Sitting on 71... first dart T-13, 2nd dart D-16. Bang! 1-0. This seemed to fire up Kevin who opened the second game with a T-40. He followed that with a frustrating turn of 3 triple 1s. This also seemed to fire him up because in his next turn he moved the target over an inch and put 3 darts in the triple 20 for a T-80. The lesson would appear to be, "don't fire up Kevin." He would go on to take the game. But Glenn would rebound and another solid effort gave him the tie breaker. 2-1 'Bags.
Capt. Furious followed against Tom. A choppy affair finally ended when Frank hit a D-10 out. Tom avenged the loss after Frank couldn't hit D-9. He stuck a T-35 to land on 40 closed it out soon after. (Note: This pattern of play would would later lead to his being dubbed The White Hawk -- Leucopternis Albicollis to you ornithologists out there -- I.e., He circles around... circles around... gets down under 200 and then -- SWOOP! -- two rounds later, he's gone. Frank would again struggle to hit the double 9 but finally managed at 9, 1, D-4 out to take the tie breaker. 4-2 D'Bags.
This unfortunately was as good as it would get on the evening.
Cup then faced off against, Harlan. Cup wasn't on his game, but I'm not sure it would've matter that much. Harlan served up a pu-pu platter of all star scores 97, 123, 136, 123... (what ever happened to a plain old Ton?). The third contest was close, with Cup rounding into shape, but Harlan broke out his patented "Achy Blaikie Dart" (good one, Cup) and stuck a D-16 to complete the sweep. Tip the cap. Move on. 4-5.
Big Friendly Tim would face off against professional 'Bag killer, Brian. Neither man was especially sharp, but Brian had enough to pull out game 1. At this point, Frank went to the jukebox to punch up some tunes. First song, "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand. An excellent choice for '01. Tim responded on cue and won the second match. However, the song playing during the tie breaker would also prove to be prescient -- "I Can't Stand Losing" by The Police. (A terrible choice.) Brian heated up in the third, and we dropped the rubber match. 5-7 at the end of singles.
FrankenTim would start off cricket against Kevin and Brian. In the first game the home boys blew a lead and lost a 19s vs. 15s war. No excuse for that. In the second game, 2 bulls would've won. Couldn't get it done. In the last game, we just got housed. Some valiant darts along the way. But not good enough. Sweep for the bad guys. 5-10.
Up next was Glenn and Cuppa Joe vs. Never Shakey Harlan Blaikie and Capt. Jason. The format calls for a game of cricket. But it didn't feel like we were watching a game of cricket. It felt more like (to borrow a George Carlin line) "like watching flies f*ck". Utter tedium. And the games took for-EVer.
Glenn didn't seem to have his usual swagger, So Tim and Marty pulled him aside to give him a pep talk :
Tim: You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and with fangs-
Marty: .-- big f*cking teeth, man.
Tim: Yeah... big f*ckin' teeth on ya'... you know, you got these claws and you're staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you're thinking, "How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?"
Marty: --And you're poking at it, you're poking at it...
Tim: : Yeah, you're not hurting it, you're just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? ... And you got these f*cking claws and these fangs, man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With *this* you don't know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?
Marty: You're like a big bear, man.
It seemed to help a little. But not really.
At times it seemed like Glenn and Cup were actually a 4 man team. Themselves, plus their alter egos Slippy and Norwood with whom they would tag team in and out of the match at random intervals.
Norwood: Whiff
Slippy: One drop, one mark, one miss
Norwood: Wide right, wide right, wide right TAG!
Glenn: Five 19s TAG!
Cup: Two bullseyes TAG!
Slippy: Another whiff
And despite it all, the Dartbags nearly swept the round! Let's face it -- The Gaffers weren't playing well either. If not for a comical 5 minute stretch at the end of game 3 in which Slippy, Norwood, (as well as the Gaffers) absolutely refused to hit the winning cork, the Dartbags would taken all 3.
So, what the heck?, we'll take the points. 7-11 going to doubles.
I sort of wish I could stop writing here. But posterity compels my hand. Seatbelts, please. And shoo any young children away from the monitor.... this is gonna get ugly.
Frank and Tim went up against Kevin and Brian. Same result. If you don't hit your outs right away against guys like that, you simply can't expect to win. 3 more down the tubes.
Glenn and Cup went up against Tom and Harlan in the final set. The first was close. Then -- SWOOP! --The White Hawk hit a T-32 to leave Harlan a nice out. He cashed it in. In game two, Cup opened with a crazy T-35 on. (A high on is now a weekly occurrence for Cup.). But the Gaffers hung with them. It got down to about 180 a piece when -- SWOOP! -- Tom hit a T-35 to leave Harlan an out. They would again cash it in. Pike followed Cuppa's lead in the final game of the night and smacked a High on of his own (101). But... aw hell. You know the story. They got down and got out first. Another sweep and a pair of frustrated Dartbags.
Perhaps too frustrated? It was Paul-O'Neill-circa-1996 -like. If there were a water cooler present, I'm sure someone would have overturned it. It's too bad our passion couldn't be channeled into better darts. We all expect better from ourselves.
In fact, that Swingers analogy pretty much sums up the evening.... Them ... Us.
We're still a little too "Mikey". We have fangs and claws (witness Pike's 71 out, Cup's high on, all the R-7s from cricket.) But we just don't seem to know how to use them sometimes. We still have the killer instinct. But less thinking/wallowing and a little more confidence would go a long way toward letting it surface. We're facing another bunch of predators on Monday, the first place McCarthy's team. And we're facing off in their den. Sharpen your claws, gentlemen. We'll need 'em.
Line of the Night (TM). Cup after having a dart pop out in Double 01
Cup (to Tom): That was an embarrassing bounce out.... got any Viagara?
Tom: Hey, at least it shot.
Cup: Yeah... but the board wasn't satisfied.
That's restaurant quality innuendo, folks.
All Star Recap:
Cap: 580
Cup: 539
Pike: 416
BFT: 288
posted by Captain Furious at 5:28 PM
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