Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Sweet Smell of Victory

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 5 - 12 - 08

Ladies Night at Marty O'Brien's; Drawn in by Darts, Drinks, Manly Smells

Final Score: Dartbags: 16 - Men Overboard: 8

The Scene: It was ladies night at Marty O'Brien's. They didn't come for the drink special ("2 for 1 Strawberry Alleycats & Blueberry Alleycats" - which is pretty hard to beat). It was just an unusually large gathering of Dartbaguettes, there to root on The Dartbags (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC (TM)). Perhaps our largest and most festive gathering of the year. Certainly our best looking. Hopi, Nell, and Bridge were there. Lillian and her BFF from UCLA, Grace. And friend, and newest Dartbaguette, Shauna.

Missing were 'The Microwave' and 'The Hornet's Nest'. But Gins (God love him) was there as always. We even had an appearance by retired 'Bag, Big Friendly Tim.

The Darts: With just a few points separating 3 teams, the 'Bags are in a playoff race. In an effort to improve his team's chances, The Captain has never been afraid to think outside the box for Dart Night (TM). And he may have come up with his most brilliant/cockamamy idea/scheme... Enhanced Sensory Convergence (or ESC as the Dartbags call it.)

Try to stay with me on this.

We use all of our senses, and they must be harnessed to play optimal darts. We use our sense of sight of course (the visual sense), our sense of touch, by wearing shirts with freedom of motion and making sure darts are comfortable in our hands (the tactile sense) . We play good music (AC/DC, Flogging Molly, Skynyrd, U2, etc) -- to indulge the auditory sense. We overindulge our sense of taste, by eating Taco Taco, and drinking the finest beers (the gustatory sense).

But that only makes 4 senses. One vital cog, the "5th finger that makes the fist" is missing...

Our sense of smell. The olfactory sense. We have neglected this vital sense (one that is most linked to memory, by the way).

We've been running on 4 cylinders for too long. But I found a way to fix that.

By employing the use of this!

That's right!

There's something about an Aqua Velva man. Aqua Velva is now standard issue for the Dartbags, and will be made available upon request for the remainder or the spring season. With all 5 senses aligned in perfect harmony, the 'Bags were ready to rumble, with Men Overboard.

In the words of Navin Johnson: "Things are gonna start happening to us, now!"

SINGLES

Pike (2) vs. Mike Keady (1): Glenn fired out of the gate with a T-14 to start the night, and followed it with a T-33. He would cruise to the first win in 20 darts. In the second game, Mike was sitting under 60, when a jet-lagged Glenn summoned all of his Werewolf Powers, and juuuust missed taking out a supersweet 160 (last dart high). He would take it out on his 29th dart for win #2. Mike - who had been shooting very well - then took the final point in 8 rounds. Excellent singles games by both guys.

Frank (2) vs. Rufus "On Fire" Herrington (1): Big Rufus took the first point in a sluggish affair. Halfway through game 2, The Furious one lived up to his moniker by getting really p*ssed off, demanding his whiskey, shooting a T-20, followed by a two dart 76 out. In game 3, with Ruf on 18, Frank cleaned up the mess he had made, by butchering/saving a 16 out - 11, 1, D-2.

Cup (2) vs. Chris Chevins (1): Cup, who had specially designed and manufactured his own darts ("The Cuppa") could not find them. So he went back to his old familiar needles. (Whadda this guy? He throwin' needles now? He think, he thinks he's Johnny Needle Darts? No way. No WAY.) It makes you wonder why he ever left them in the first place. Except for a marathon XX war in the 2nd game won by the deserving Chris, (Whateva!) it was semi-vintage Cup. Two more points for the 'Bags...but his best darts would lie ahead.

Edna (1) vs. Tom Clarke (2): With Vince in Sin-City, the 'Bags called upon Former Ladies All-Star-Point Leader, Edna, to pick up the slack. Ed would drop the first to Tom, who went out in 8 turns in game 1. But Edna would draw blood in game 2, nailing a D-4 to record his first singles win (in extremely limited play) in league history. The third point would be a dog fight, with both players in it until the end. Tom would hit his double first.

CRICKET

GlennEdna (1) vs Rufus n' Mike (2): A strong effort by Pike and Ed won the first game, with Glenn throwing his patented In-Yer-Hole darts. Edna fired off a C-3 to climb back into the second game, but the effort fell short. Men Overboard would carry that moment forward and take the last point.

Cuppn'Cap'n (3) vs Chris and Tom: Lava is hot. Jessica Alba is hotter. And then there's Cup. He fired off 4-20s to start. And followed it with T-19, T-18, T-17 (ROUND 9). Frank tripped the 16. Cup closed the 15s. And two rounds later it was done. It was like an Allman Brother's record - Seven Turns. Absolutely filthy stuff from Cup, and likely the quickest cricket match in 'Bag history. Cup would cool off - sort of. He had a pair of R-6s in the next game. When he stuck a double cork winner it cap off the sweep, it was the best set of cricket we'd played all year. Possibly ever. Welcome back, Joey Pep.

DOUBLE '01

GlennEdna (2) vs Rufus and Mike (1): By this point in the night, after flying in from Italy, the effects of excessive air travel had gotten the best of him.

Glenn: I need to go home after this. I'm hallucinating.

Frank: Ok.

Glenn: No, seriously. I am.

Glenn got them on, and Edna, who just got better and better as the night went on, stepped it up a notch. He fired off 198 ASPs (Hopefully regaining his Ladies ASP lead) and nailing a pair of clutch outs....the last a D-4 to take the rubber match. Fine work by the promising dart rookie, who would later draw praise from dart veteran, Rufus at the end of the night.

Rufus: The little guy is good. He's got a good stroke. Bam! Bam! Bam! He'll kill you on the 20s.

(Thanks, Rufus.)

FrankenCup (3) vs. Chis and Tom (0): Getting on first helped in all three games. Cuppa kept up his hot shooting doubling out on the first two. There were a few hot streaks (3 consecutive tons) along the way. The last game of the night devolved into an unfortunate exercise in futility as neither team could stick the Double-1. Really awful. Frank finally caught it to end the night on a good note for the GK-7.

And that was that. A much needed 16-8 victory. A tip of the cap to Men Overboard. They were worthy opponents, and good sports.

Let's revisit the effect of Enhanced Sensory Convergence for one moment.

Ed: Chose not to use Aqua Velva, preferring his own signature scent - L'Edna: Pour Homme. (Cuppa did execute a successful "drive-by-velva-ing", however, sticking him with a small spot on his neck...which explains the c-3, and the T in doubles.)
Glenn: Would rock the Velva only for singles where he took 2/3.
Frank: Marinated in the AV, and went 8/9.
Cup: Applied fresh coats between each round, and went 8/9 with an R-9, and two R-6s.

Random chance, or the awesome power of ESC? You be the judge.

All Star Recap:

Cuppa: 736 (and a patch)

Pike: 464

Frank: 445

Edna: 198 (possibly regaining Ladies All Star Point lead)

We play at home vs. Three Penny Opera on Monday.

See you there.

That is all.

-Captain Furious

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