SPECIAL "BEST OF" RECAP FROM SEASON 1
No write up for week 14 (we have a bye) so we dipped into the archives to find an oldie but goodie -- the season ending recap from year 1 (12/17/03)
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They said they were from Cannon's Pub, but I believe they were originally from Monster Island. What else could explain their game, their enormous size and their curious fear of fire ("Fire, bad! Fire, bad!!!")
Yes they're big and bad like Leroy Brown. And JR "I did NOT just do that!" Astwood is the best player in the league. But the gritty, gutty Dartbags still took 8 of 18 points! And you know what?.... That's the worst darts we've played in weeks!
We took 3 of 6 in 501.
Pike took the first. Frank took the second. Lou zapped Crazy Guy to take the third...
And then the wheels came off.
We lost our next 8 matches.
It started when their man Tim (Not BFT) threw 3 straight AS rounds and took his match in 7 turns.
JR was stoopid. I mean outrageous. And we pretty much sucked. (I mean sucked). If not for Glenn and Tim taking the last Cricket match we would have been swept. (We took 1 of 6 in Cricket).
Doubles 501 started out rough. Glenn and Frank couldn't double in. By the time Glenn got us on the board they were down to 114 points. A decent late charge made it interesting. And by interesting, I mean... pretty freaking boring, actually. Advantage bad guys.
Lou and Tim then took on JR and Moses (the Mini Me to his Dr. Evil.) But we doubled in first and began the countdown. A few hundred points later, JR wasn't quite so chatty. Things got close and then.... Tim drove the final nail.
Vince and Ian were the final pairing. That was by design. The reason? Because they hold their liquor better than anyone else in the league. It paid off. They outgunned Dirty Ol' Bastard and Martin Mull to cap the night and complete the long journey back to respectability.
We lost 8-10, but it felt as good as any win.
Robby's Raiders let slip to Ian during the match that they wanted to run up the score (so to speak) to "hit 170 points for the year". Guess what, Raiders? Take the freak show uptown because it ain't happening on Dartbag turf. Also, I checked afterward... they would have needed 22 points. ("Math, bad! Math, bad!!!).
Final Note: All Star Point Champ... Glenn Pike.
Final Final Note: Hope almost won legs and threw 92 legs all star points.
Line of the Night #1: Lou & Tim
Lou: "Tim, you just beat JR."
Tim: "I know!"
Line of the Night #2:
Context: Pike was pissed and imbedded an 85 mph fastball dart into the board. He and Lou couldn't pull it out. Frank walked over and quickly plucked it out of the board.
Lou: "You're the king of England!!"
Line of the Night #3: Ian
Context: Hope was trying to snap a photo of Glenn, Ian and Frank. Crazy Guy (the guy from the other team in the red baseball hat) kept sticking his fingers in the picture right when Hope was about to click. All of 6'7'' Ian turns around and looks him in the eye...
Ian: "Do that again and I will smack the red off that cap".
Crazy Guy: "Okee dokee then."
Awesome season, everyone.
Let's get 'em in the Spring.
-----------------------------------------------------------
They said they were from Cannon's Pub, but I believe they were originally from Monster Island. What else could explain their game, their enormous size and their curious fear of fire ("Fire, bad! Fire, bad!!!")
Yes they're big and bad like Leroy Brown. And JR "I did NOT just do that!" Astwood is the best player in the league. But the gritty, gutty Dartbags still took 8 of 18 points! And you know what?.... That's the worst darts we've played in weeks!
We took 3 of 6 in 501.
Pike took the first. Frank took the second. Lou zapped Crazy Guy to take the third...
And then the wheels came off.
We lost our next 8 matches.
It started when their man Tim (Not BFT) threw 3 straight AS rounds and took his match in 7 turns.
JR was stoopid. I mean outrageous. And we pretty much sucked. (I mean sucked). If not for Glenn and Tim taking the last Cricket match we would have been swept. (We took 1 of 6 in Cricket).
Doubles 501 started out rough. Glenn and Frank couldn't double in. By the time Glenn got us on the board they were down to 114 points. A decent late charge made it interesting. And by interesting, I mean... pretty freaking boring, actually. Advantage bad guys.
Lou and Tim then took on JR and Moses (the Mini Me to his Dr. Evil.) But we doubled in first and began the countdown. A few hundred points later, JR wasn't quite so chatty. Things got close and then.... Tim drove the final nail.
Vince and Ian were the final pairing. That was by design. The reason? Because they hold their liquor better than anyone else in the league. It paid off. They outgunned Dirty Ol' Bastard and Martin Mull to cap the night and complete the long journey back to respectability.
We lost 8-10, but it felt as good as any win.
Robby's Raiders let slip to Ian during the match that they wanted to run up the score (so to speak) to "hit 170 points for the year". Guess what, Raiders? Take the freak show uptown because it ain't happening on Dartbag turf. Also, I checked afterward... they would have needed 22 points. ("Math, bad! Math, bad!!!).
Final Note: All Star Point Champ... Glenn Pike.
Final Final Note: Hope almost won legs and threw 92 legs all star points.
Line of the Night #1: Lou & Tim
Lou: "Tim, you just beat JR."
Tim: "I know!"
Line of the Night #2:
Context: Pike was pissed and imbedded an 85 mph fastball dart into the board. He and Lou couldn't pull it out. Frank walked over and quickly plucked it out of the board.
Lou: "You're the king of England!!"
Line of the Night #3: Ian
Context: Hope was trying to snap a photo of Glenn, Ian and Frank. Crazy Guy (the guy from the other team in the red baseball hat) kept sticking his fingers in the picture right when Hope was about to click. All of 6'7'' Ian turns around and looks him in the eye...
Ian: "Do that again and I will smack the red off that cap".
Crazy Guy: "Okee dokee then."
Awesome season, everyone.
Let's get 'em in the Spring.
posted by Captain Furious at 5:32 PM
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