Thursday, May 25, 2006

WRITE UP FOR WEEK # 10: REDEMPTION AT THE LITTLE TABLE

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 5 -- 22 -- 06

(NOTE: My apologies for the tardy write up. I've been on the road and then I lost the damn score sheet which is why there's not as much detail. If not for Cuppa Joe, there probably wouldn't even be a write up. This week's will be more prompt.)

After two straight weeks of beatdowns, the Dartbags (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC TM) were looking for more than points, they were looking for redemption. Facing off against the first place McCarthy's team would give them a chance for just that. Thankfully the Carly Simon CD had been removed from the jukebox -- whoever did that, thank you -- so a repeat of the Carly Simon incident of '05 would be avoided. And with Roger putting an hour's worth of quality classic rock tunes we were in good shape. As Cup put it, "best selection yet".

The 'Bags were shorthanded early in the evening, but a late arrival by BFT and cameo from Colin helped get us to 6/7. Farty was ultimately unable to attend. In addition, there were no 'Baguettes present for the first hour.

Tony: Where are the ladies??... I read the blog.

But Nellie, Hope, and Gemma would eventually make the scene along with Ginsberg, making for a much more festive atmosphere.

Actually, it was an interesting environment at McCarthy's with two A league teams present on the boards. Normally it doesn't rate a mention, but this was a different case. On the front board was a match up of the two best teams in the city and darts being played at a truly professional level. A 12 dart '01 match? Are you kidding me??? 18 darts and under every time. Crazy stuff.

It reminded me of those big family Thanksgiving dinners. You know the ones where there's one big table where all the adults sit. And then there's that little round table in the corner for the kids.

That was us. We were at the kid's table with our sippy cups, plastic forks and turkey pieces pre-cut into manageable bites.

But that doesn't mean there wasn't some fine darts being thrown. Pike led off against Terrence. This was our heavyweight match. In the first game, Terrence started out strong, but Glenn hung in there. With Terrence poised to go out and Glenn down to 71, Glenn went first dart, T-13, second dart, D-16. Bang! A lightning strike to take the first one. Way to steal it. In the second match, Terrence was, apparently, angry. He started off with a with a T-40 and sitting on 95 took it out T-19, D-19. Great darts. In the final match, Pike was back in form and won a second nailbiter with a first dart out to create a 2-1 advantage.

The Captain's darts were shakey. Maybe he just never got comfortable. Or maybe he was distracted by the repeated shouts of "Ton-80, Tony Roman!" coming from the other board. (Told you there was sick darts being thrown over there). Left, right, high... Frank hit everything except what he aimed at and he paid the price against Mike. Two winnable matches. (Mike went out on 101 in game 2 for a blitzkreig victory). Zero wins. Just awful. The only blip of the night, but a costly one. 2-4.

Then we went from the bad, to the just plain spooky. Cuppa Joe was having a promising warm up to that point. He had already hit a C-6 and a C-5. But when Hubert, was taking his warmups he would do this bizarre hand wave at the board after each turn. It was hard to describe. Sort of like a Jedi Knight doing a mind trick. Or a witch doctor placing a hex. Then as they began to play, the strains of CCR's "I Put a Spell On You" came over the jukebox. (Like I said, spooky). Between voodoo music and Huboyt's hand hex, Cup's mojo left the building.

Cup (to Hubert): You put a spell on me.

Actually, it was more he put a curse on the entire board. Fact is, neither one of these guys could get it going. Paris Hilton could have finished a Rubik's Cube faster than these guys finished the first match. But Cup, perhaps inspired by Neil Young's "Heart of Gold" on the jukebox would get it together. He shook off the curse, regained his mojo and threw solid darts in the final 2 walking away with 2 of 3. 4-5.

Vince played former 'Bag nemesis, Jason. Vince -- who threw big darts -- all night. Taking the first, getting run in the second and sticking the third to once again earn a 2/3 split. Vince's efforts pulled us even and it was 6-6, headed to cricket.

Glenn and Frank faced off against Terrence and Jason in cricket. They dropped the first one in an uneventful match. In the second match the 'Bags staged a major comeback. 5 16s by Pike were followed by two double corks by Frank to take a late lead, but Jason shut the door by scoring 32 pts to go up in points and nailing a bull on his final dart. That one hurt. There were good darts thrown by everyone, but apparently the most entertaining aspect of the match was Frank's (unbeknownst to him) habit of bending down to sip his Jameson's on the table in between throws so that he resembled a Dippy Bird. The 'Bags finally took a point when Frank hit 4 15's to close the number and put us up a bull. Jason closed the 15s. And Pike ended all hopes of a comeback by hitting 3 corks for the win. Terrence, who had been crushing the bullseye, was clearly was disappointed that he didn't get a turn to crush us on bulls.

Terrence: One chance! You won't give me just one chance??

No, dude. That was the whole point. 7-8

Vince and Cuppa Joe took on Mike and Hubart. Once again, cricket would prove a challenge. Despite some hero darts from Vince -- including a clutch 15 -Bull -Bull finish to win a nailbiter -- the 'Bags again dropped 2/3. Effing cricket, man. And like that, we went from even to down 8-10.

So we headed into doubles with an outside shot at a W, but it would take big darts. Pike and Angry Vince started us out. They faced off against Terrence and Mike -- a very tough combo. Terrence took out a 104 in game 1. But the good guys responded with an evener in game 2. The McCarthy-ites took the final in a heartbreaker and the score was now 9-12.

It was during this match that Vince supplied the Line/Call of the Night (TM). With the Yankees down 9-1 to the Red Sox in the bottom of the 9th with 2 outs, Alex Rodriguez stepped to the plate. Having seen this many times before, Vince offered a prediction.

Vince (to Gins): Twenty bucks A-Rod hits a meaningless homerun here.

And, true to form, A-Rod hit the next pitch 400 feet for a homer. Great call. And it drew a lot of cheers and amusement from Tony, Vince, Gins and the others watching the ball game. We even got a new slang term out of it. From now on (though we never give up) meaningless, unclutch, stat-padding darts in games where we are being blown out will be referred to as "A-Rod Darts" or "A-Rods" such as "I am leading the league in A-Rod points (APRs)". Alternatively, A-Rod may be used as a verb as in "They were up 10 bulls, but I A-Rodded the 15s to make it look respectable." or "He was on 32, and I was on 461, but I A-Rodded a Ton to keep my points streak alive".

Note: My apologies if it was Gins who said this to Vince and not vice versa.

Anyway, back to Frank and Cup against Hubert and Victor. In the first game, Cup's late heroics (a double 20 that had avoided Frank) snatched a win from the other team. In game 2, Frank opened with a 108 on to keep the 'Bags weekly high on streak alive. Joe once again provided the dramatics with unA-Rod like clutch hits. Sitting on 34 in a close match, he hit a 2. His next dart just missed the mark and landed in the D-8, he followed that up with a second D-8... and a fruity looking "double hop of joy" that had Nell cracking up. What the hell was that??? He looked like my girlfriend's pet rabbit, Cadbury.

(Let it be known that Frank, who has reduced his "gay spins" by 85% this year, is no longer the owner of the fruitiest physical reaction to a dart turn.)

Still, you can bunny hop all you want. Hell, guy, you can do the effing Macarena, as long as you hit the clutch outs. We needed 'em big time.

So we finished at 11-13 against the first place club. Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda. Sure, we missed some opportunities along the way and it would have been nice to get a "win". But we had also gotten humiliated 7-17 the previous two weeks and we were playing the top team in the league on their turf.

We'll take it.

Sorry again for the lateness (and reduced quality) of the write up. It got away from me this time. And thanks to all the friendly folks for hanging out at McCarthy's, "The Happiest Place on Earth". It was a good time.

Next week we host Carlos "The Jackal" Santiago and MYOB at George Keeley. See you there.

Capt. Furious

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