El Capitán y Señor Cocón
The Rallybone Rumble
by Cuppa Joe Gasparino
The bye week.
The bye week sucks.
But this season, teams in their bye week
are supposed to play other teams in their
bye week, from other divisions.
In the Dartbags case (The Most Drinkenest and
Friendliest Team in the NYDO, TM), they were
supposed to play The Dog Eaters, from the Edge bar,
a place that, in many ways, is a home-away-from-home
for the 'bags.
This exhibition match has a small incentive.
The winner of the match gets 13 points,
the loser 11...a point more than the default 12 points
a bye team is given on their week off. Or a point less.
Well, this is all 'pointless', because it never happened.
Despite the Dartbags furious captain, Frank Murtha,
calling, emailing, text-messaging, bat-signaling, smoke-signaling,
pony-expressing, carrier pigeoning, The Dog Eaters were
nowhere to be found. Incognito.
However, the 'bags wouldn't be stopped from playing
this week. The Dog Eaters failure to step up to the plate
gave birth to a new addition to Dartbag lore:
An intrasquad grudge-match, called "The Rallybone Rumble".
4 Dartbags showed up for the scuffle, hungry to throw
some mean darts, especially after coming off of a big
week 1 victory, 16-8. These are the men who would
get in the ring:
El Capitán, Frank Murtha
The Hornet's Nest, Vince Lambert
IYH, Glenn Arthur Pike
Señor Cocón, Cuppa Joe Gasparino
(The Microwave, Colin O'Donnell, also showed up,
but too late to enter the scuffle. At half-time, he scrapped
with a couple of 'bags in a few games, tossed some big
numbers and split.)
Before the night was over, The Captain would reach
a new level, Cuppa would get a new nickname, and
the Rallybone would be presented in a new, mean,
black-laquered finish.
To determine teams, the 4 guys warmed up and played
a quick round-robin set of three 501 games, single-double.
Every guy played every other guy, and the teams were set:
CuppaFrank vs. VinGlennzo
The same format was used as in a regular season match.
Here we go.
Round 1 - singles 501
Glenn beat Cuppa Joe, 2-1. Frank beat Vince, 2-1.
After round 1, the score was tied, 3-3.
Glenn started slowly, but picked it up half-way through
the first game, including a ton-36. He burned Cuppa
down to the wire in game 1, but Cuppa lived up to his mantra,
"it aint over til its over", and "never give up....don't ever give up"
(sounds familiar, hmm).
He took out game 1, grinding it out with 45's and 57's,
after being down over 200 points.
Game 2 was insane.
Glenn, who's been living up to his nickname so far this
season, IYH, began with a stellar performance:
ton-21, 95, 95, ton-34.
In 12 throws, he was on 56.
Wow.
With a chance at a 14-darter, he hit the 16 on his first,
but his second and third darts eluded the double-out.
Cuppa was counting down pretty hard with a 95
and a ton-17, but there wasn't much he could do to combat
Glenn's insanity. A few rounds later IYH took the victory.
Kudos for ridicudarts and drama.
Frank took 2 from Vincenzo, but that wasn't the story.
The story was El Capitán reaching a new level. TheCaptain
went berzerk. Vince could be heard saying things like, "unreal...",
"this is ridiculous", "frank, you're insane".You get the idea.
After it was all said and done, the all-star point sheet
looked like this:
T-40
T-25
95
T-20
T
T
T
T
T
'Nuff said.
Vince was able to take game 3 from Frank with some
big darts of his own. With the way the Captain was
throwing, that victory was probably the most impressive.
Those completely insane darts shook up the Hornet's Nest.
Don't do that. For your own good. 'Cenzo took it.
Round 2 - doubles cricket
CuppaFrank took all 3 from VinGlennzo.
VinGlennzo was game, but unfortunately, they ran into
a buzzsaw. The CuppaFrank tag-team was Hawk & Animal.
El Capitán was en fuego, hitting an R-6 and an R-7, not to mention
what seemed like a million trips. He started it, but Cuppa closed it.
And I mean closed it. Move over Mariano.
CuppaBull closed every game, each on CuppaFrank's
first chance at bulls:
Game 1, single-single-double bull.
Game 2, single-single-double bull.
Game 3, double bull, first dart.
After cricket, the overall match score was:
CuppaFrank - 6
VinGlennzo - 3
Round 3 - doubles 501, double in-double out
Vince and Glenn were looking for revenge in the final round.
Getting swept doesn't sit well with The Hornet's Nest and IYH.
Vince was fired up and raring to go.
But Glenn was nowhere to be found.
30 minutes later, IYH appeared out of nowhere.
Let's just say his disappearance remains a mystery.
And on top of making the guys wait, and who were now
really raring to go....IYH decided he was finished playing.
He quit.
This practically started a riot. However, Cuppa and Vince
peppered him with a combination of criticism and guilt, which
proved too much for Glenn to endure. He picked up his darts
and had no choice but to continue and finish The Rallybone Rumble.
Nice job, Cuppa'cenzo.
Frank and Cuppa took 2 out of 3, when all was said and done,
with VinGlennzo taking the middle game, after getting
off to a flying start, including a double-bull-on by Glenn.
There were good darts all around, but the highlight was
another Road-Warrior-esque effort, which led to a new nickname
for Cuppa Joe: Señor Cocón. Let's just say the nickname is derived
from the idea that Cuppa's 'on' ability has been 'gutsy', 'cocky' and
'manly'....if you will....but please don't.
Anyway...
Coming off of a big week 1, which included a ton-54-on,
Cuppa started game 1 with double-20, triple-19, but missed
the trip-19, hitting a single-7. Just missing a repeat of week 1,
he started the game off with another big-on, ton-04.
Nice work, Señor Cocón.
Frank hammered a couple of tons giving them a chance
to go out in 15 darts...something they had done a week
earlier against Who Darted?. They didn't, but ended up taking
the game out, with Cuppa on X.
VinGlennzo took the middle game, but CuppaFrank took
the last game. The match was over, but no one, except maybe
Glenn, wanted to stop. Vince lobbied for a complete repeat
of the match, in classic Vincenzo style, but was tempered
down to 2 games.
It was later revealed that Vince had jury duty the next day,
which explained his push to play another entire match,
which would have kept the 'bags out til at least 2am.
It was really tough, but the guys managed to tame
The Hornet's Nest and the guys called it a night. Thank God.
Final Score:
CuppaFrank - 8
VinGlennzo - 4
Congrats to El Capitán, Frank, and Señor Cocón, Cuppa Joe
for winning the first annual "Rallybone Rumble".
Big props to all the guys who were able to participate,
and here's to everyone else making it out next time.
Retired Dartbags are welcome as well.
Allstar point recap:
Frank - 1240 - are you kidding me???
Glenn - 679 - IYH returning...
Cuppa - 510 - Señor Cocón??? Oh jeez...
Vince - 95 - the 'nest has been shaken...the pain is coming...
Colin - big props for showing up and adding to a good
night all around, including consistent darts in the intermission.
Get there earlier next time, guy.
Farty and BFT: you were missed. Next time. We want a full
boat for the second annual.
That is all.
by Cuppa Joe Gasparino
The bye week.
The bye week sucks.
But this season, teams in their bye week
are supposed to play other teams in their
bye week, from other divisions.
In the Dartbags case (The Most Drinkenest and
Friendliest Team in the NYDO, TM), they were
supposed to play The Dog Eaters, from the Edge bar,
a place that, in many ways, is a home-away-from-home
for the 'bags.
This exhibition match has a small incentive.
The winner of the match gets 13 points,
the loser 11...a point more than the default 12 points
a bye team is given on their week off. Or a point less.
Well, this is all 'pointless', because it never happened.
Despite the Dartbags furious captain, Frank Murtha,
calling, emailing, text-messaging, bat-signaling, smoke-signaling,
pony-expressing, carrier pigeoning, The Dog Eaters were
nowhere to be found. Incognito.
However, the 'bags wouldn't be stopped from playing
this week. The Dog Eaters failure to step up to the plate
gave birth to a new addition to Dartbag lore:
An intrasquad grudge-match, called "The Rallybone Rumble".
4 Dartbags showed up for the scuffle, hungry to throw
some mean darts, especially after coming off of a big
week 1 victory, 16-8. These are the men who would
get in the ring:
El Capitán, Frank Murtha
The Hornet's Nest, Vince Lambert
IYH, Glenn Arthur Pike
Señor Cocón, Cuppa Joe Gasparino
(The Microwave, Colin O'Donnell, also showed up,
but too late to enter the scuffle. At half-time, he scrapped
with a couple of 'bags in a few games, tossed some big
numbers and split.)
Before the night was over, The Captain would reach
a new level, Cuppa would get a new nickname, and
the Rallybone would be presented in a new, mean,
black-laquered finish.
To determine teams, the 4 guys warmed up and played
a quick round-robin set of three 501 games, single-double.
Every guy played every other guy, and the teams were set:
CuppaFrank vs. VinGlennzo
The same format was used as in a regular season match.
Here we go.
Round 1 - singles 501
Glenn beat Cuppa Joe, 2-1. Frank beat Vince, 2-1.
After round 1, the score was tied, 3-3.
Glenn started slowly, but picked it up half-way through
the first game, including a ton-36. He burned Cuppa
down to the wire in game 1, but Cuppa lived up to his mantra,
"it aint over til its over", and "never give up....don't ever give up"
(sounds familiar, hmm).
He took out game 1, grinding it out with 45's and 57's,
after being down over 200 points.
Game 2 was insane.
Glenn, who's been living up to his nickname so far this
season, IYH, began with a stellar performance:
ton-21, 95, 95, ton-34.
In 12 throws, he was on 56.
Wow.
With a chance at a 14-darter, he hit the 16 on his first,
but his second and third darts eluded the double-out.
Cuppa was counting down pretty hard with a 95
and a ton-17, but there wasn't much he could do to combat
Glenn's insanity. A few rounds later IYH took the victory.
Kudos for ridicudarts and drama.
Frank took 2 from Vincenzo, but that wasn't the story.
The story was El Capitán reaching a new level. TheCaptain
went berzerk. Vince could be heard saying things like, "unreal...",
"this is ridiculous", "frank, you're insane".You get the idea.
After it was all said and done, the all-star point sheet
looked like this:
T-40
T-25
95
T-20
T
T
T
T
T
'Nuff said.
Vince was able to take game 3 from Frank with some
big darts of his own. With the way the Captain was
throwing, that victory was probably the most impressive.
Those completely insane darts shook up the Hornet's Nest.
Don't do that. For your own good. 'Cenzo took it.
Round 2 - doubles cricket
CuppaFrank took all 3 from VinGlennzo.
VinGlennzo was game, but unfortunately, they ran into
a buzzsaw. The CuppaFrank tag-team was Hawk & Animal.
El Capitán was en fuego, hitting an R-6 and an R-7, not to mention
what seemed like a million trips. He started it, but Cuppa closed it.
And I mean closed it. Move over Mariano.
CuppaBull closed every game, each on CuppaFrank's
first chance at bulls:
Game 1, single-single-double bull.
Game 2, single-single-double bull.
Game 3, double bull, first dart.
After cricket, the overall match score was:
CuppaFrank - 6
VinGlennzo - 3
Round 3 - doubles 501, double in-double out
Vince and Glenn were looking for revenge in the final round.
Getting swept doesn't sit well with The Hornet's Nest and IYH.
Vince was fired up and raring to go.
But Glenn was nowhere to be found.
30 minutes later, IYH appeared out of nowhere.
Let's just say his disappearance remains a mystery.
And on top of making the guys wait, and who were now
really raring to go....IYH decided he was finished playing.
He quit.
This practically started a riot. However, Cuppa and Vince
peppered him with a combination of criticism and guilt, which
proved too much for Glenn to endure. He picked up his darts
and had no choice but to continue and finish The Rallybone Rumble.
Nice job, Cuppa'cenzo.
Frank and Cuppa took 2 out of 3, when all was said and done,
with VinGlennzo taking the middle game, after getting
off to a flying start, including a double-bull-on by Glenn.
There were good darts all around, but the highlight was
another Road-Warrior-esque effort, which led to a new nickname
for Cuppa Joe: Señor Cocón. Let's just say the nickname is derived
from the idea that Cuppa's 'on' ability has been 'gutsy', 'cocky' and
'manly'....if you will....but please don't.
Anyway...
Coming off of a big week 1, which included a ton-54-on,
Cuppa started game 1 with double-20, triple-19, but missed
the trip-19, hitting a single-7. Just missing a repeat of week 1,
he started the game off with another big-on, ton-04.
Nice work, Señor Cocón.
Frank hammered a couple of tons giving them a chance
to go out in 15 darts...something they had done a week
earlier against Who Darted?. They didn't, but ended up taking
the game out, with Cuppa on X.
VinGlennzo took the middle game, but CuppaFrank took
the last game. The match was over, but no one, except maybe
Glenn, wanted to stop. Vince lobbied for a complete repeat
of the match, in classic Vincenzo style, but was tempered
down to 2 games.
It was later revealed that Vince had jury duty the next day,
which explained his push to play another entire match,
which would have kept the 'bags out til at least 2am.
It was really tough, but the guys managed to tame
The Hornet's Nest and the guys called it a night. Thank God.
Final Score:
CuppaFrank - 8
VinGlennzo - 4
Congrats to El Capitán, Frank, and Señor Cocón, Cuppa Joe
for winning the first annual "Rallybone Rumble".
Big props to all the guys who were able to participate,
and here's to everyone else making it out next time.
Retired Dartbags are welcome as well.
Allstar point recap:
Frank - 1240 - are you kidding me???
Glenn - 679 - IYH returning...
Cuppa - 510 - Señor Cocón??? Oh jeez...
Vince - 95 - the 'nest has been shaken...the pain is coming...
Colin - big props for showing up and adding to a good
night all around, including consistent darts in the intermission.
Get there earlier next time, guy.
Farty and BFT: you were missed. Next time. We want a full
boat for the second annual.
That is all.
posted by cuppa at 10:44 AM
1 Comments:
How did you get my yearbook picture?
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