WRITE UP FOR WEEK # 5: BOILED IN THE KETTLE

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 10-18-05

Bouillabaise: (BOO-ye-BAYZ) n. -- A hearty fish stew made of cod, haddock, whitefish, prawns, onions, leeks, potatoes, tomatoes, vegetable stock, saffron and Dartbags.

Not a pretty night at Kettle of Fish. The beloved Dartbags, Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC (TM), got cooked 10-14.

Things got off to a bad start with Frank in the leadoff spot. He played Andrew Doyle, one of the top gunners in the league. Not pretty. 0-2

Then Lou faced off against Melanie... also not pretty 0-4

Cup was called upon to stop the bleeding against Mike. Cup was huge. Joey Pep peppered the 9's. Cup took 2 and pocketed a handful of all star rounds to get us back in the game, 2-4

Then RJ played Nuala. He got blitzed. Swept again and now it was 2-6

WTF????

Vince faced off against Brian and notched a victory. 3-7

Pike left us on a good note by shooting the lights out. A 7-turner, followed by an 8-turner with 452 ASPs to boot. Kaem didn't stand a chance. Great darts.

5-7 at the break.

Pike and RJ started us off in cricket against Nuala and Sue. And boy did they ever. RJ was excellent. Pike was sick. They shredded the opposition. So much so the other team actually clapped for them after the games. 7-7.

Frank and Lou faced off against Mike and Kaem. They got out of the gate slowly and made it interesting in the end with some corks. But fell short. In the second game they started out R-5, R-3, R-5 and coasted to a win. Still even at 8-8.

Vince and Cup then squared off against Brian and Dartbag nemesis Andrew Doyle. Vince hit some big darts and some a number of big rounds by Cup (big points, clutch closes) weren't enough and they dropped a pair of heartbreakerss. 8-10 headed into the final lap.

Pike and Lou went first and dropped the first, wasting some manly darts by Glenn. But a 92-On by Lou got it started in game 2. The Good Guys extended to a big lead with 56 left Glenn put the 'Bags on X. That actually made things interesting. But when it got close, Lou hit the mark to salvage the tie. 9-11.

Frank and Tim went up against Doyle and Sue. Uninspired darts led to two losses for The Friendly and the Furious. 9-13. And with that we guaranteed the loss.

Vince and Cup went last and split (details escape me, I know Cup did some good things and I think Vince doubled us out) to close out. 10-14

And that was that. A subpar effort in A league leads to sure losses.

It was a disappointing evening. We all wanted to play better (except Pike and Cup, who shot very well). But it's not something to hang our heads about. There was probably a few funny things said, worthy of Line of the Night (TM). But I can't remember them, they appear to have been washed away by the sea of frustration that seemed to swallow up the team last night.

Which brings me to another point: We are going to take our lumps, fellas. But we're gonna get better too. We always do over the course of a year. Count on it. Regardless, let's remember who we are. We are the Dartbags, Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Team in NYC (TM). It didn't feel like it as much last night. Maybe because we are cast in an unfamaliar role. A-1 is full of big names with flashy dart pedigrees.

We're the other guys.

We're the gritty underdogs. We're the cardiac kids with big hearts. We're the rag-tag band of gyspies. We didn't get invited to this party. We crashed it. We're Rudy. We're Rocky. We are Han F*cking Solo.

And guess what... next week we take on the Death Star.

That's right, the Fockers.

A guy on the Fockers when he learned we were playing them this season said to me,

"You're gonna get killed. Literally killed."

Frankly that sounded a bit threatening to me. Literally killed? Does this mean I should wear a kevlar vest? Notify my next of kin!

Well, I just smiled and said, "We'll see what happens."

Here's my plan. We drink a lot. We laugh a lot. We root each other on. We take it to 'em. And no matter what, we have a helluva a good time and walk out of there feeling good.

That's my plan. Who's with me?

And you know what? Sometimes the underdogs win too.

Big Props: Pike and Cup. Best darts all year. They carried us all night.

Props also to Jane, Nell, Jess, and Gemma. Our darts did not distinguish us last night, but our company did. We still had the best looking women in the bar by our sides. We always do.

Props to Farty: For not mailing it in and showing up, even though he was too late to play.

I can't find the sheet for ASPs.

But I know it went something like this:

Pike: 732 (that may be a new record)
Cup: A lot.
The rest of us: Not much at all.