WRITE UP FOR WEEK #9: MOONLIGHT GINSBERG AND THE RETURN OF THE MICROWAVE

"Ginsberg Leaves Rangers For Dartbags, Ol' Rusty Makes Triumphant Return, Big Friendly Joins in Fun"

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 11 - 19 - 07

NOTE: This post was more substantial... but it got erased because the blogspot platform is as stable as Rosie O'Donnell going through Twinkie withdrawal. This version is shorter.
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The Dartbags had been inVinceable. But Vince was in California. Thus they were inVinceable no more.

Facing a resurgent Alleymen squad who seemed to have found their footing in A league, the 'Bags would need all hands on deck in order to pick up slack. They would muster 6 of 7 'Bags as well as a surprise visit from Lillian (who has been known to wander as far south as 33rd Street in pursuit of a delicious Auntie Anne's Pretzel Dog.) With no further ado this is what happened.

Glenn Pike 2, Ryan Shane 1

Frank Murtha 2, Tim Tully 1

Cuppa Joe Gasparino 1, Mark Collins 2

Mike Ginsberg 0, Gerard Leary 3

Pike was good not great. Ditto Frank who managed 4 all star rounds. Cup shot okay, but Collins was terrific. Still Cup managed to take a game off a good shot. And Gins... well, Gins was a hero no matter what he did. Ginsberg was actually watching his Rangers take on their arch-rival Islanders around the coner at Madison Square Garden. But, being the team guy that he is, he agreed to play singles because we had no other players available. The plan, suggested by the Captain, was to have Gins show up during the first intermission and then go back to catch the rest of the game. If timed correctly, he would miss no more than 5 minutes of hockey action.

But what Gins knew - and Frank did not - is that MSG has a no re-entry policy for Rangers games. In fact, the entire scene played out like one of our favorite movies.

Field of Dartbags

Gins: What have we got here?

Frank: We fell - 2 out of 3.

Gins: Why, this team's chokin' to death! You need to lighten up, just have some fun. You'll be all right. You'll be doin' handsprings again in no time.

He borrowed a set of the Captain's 22 Widows... and promptly got swept by Leary (who was shooting sick darts, literally not missing a 20 in one game until going for his outs). So be it.

Frank: Hey, Gins. Thanks for making it. It was a good effort. Go, enjoy the rest of the hockey game.

Gins just smiled and shook his head in answer... and the Captain came to a horrible realization

Frank: Oh, my God... You can't go back. You can't go back!

Gins: It's all right-

Frank: I'm sorry.

Gins: It's all right.

Frank: But you were only there for 1 period!!! The Rangers-Islanders is like your dream night. It would kill some men to get that close to their dream and not touch it... They'd consider it a tragedy.

Gins just shook his head.

Gins: Son, if I could only have been a Dartbag for 1 period... now THAT would have been a tragedy.

He shook each Dartbag's hand one after another and each one thanked him. No Gins didn't win a game. Frankly, we never expect him to. But the way Leary was shooting, he probably would have beaten any Dartbag. We call playing such hot shooters "diving on a grenade." And it was at that point we knew that Gins one appearance was like Moonlight Graham's one at bat... it was a sacrifice. Gins gave a little salute as he made his way out of Dart Alley.

Gins: Win one for me one day, will you, boys?

He turned to leave.

Glenn: Hey, Gins...

Gins turned 'round

Glenn: ... you didn't suck.

He gave a smile and twinkle returned to his eye. Ginsberg put on his Rangers cap, and then mysteriously disappeared into the crowd at the bar.

And then he came back 2 minutes later with a Jameson's.

Love the effort.

Darts took 2nd billing to drama in the 2nd set.

Sure, Cup and Frank took 2 of 3. But the real story was the valiant effort of Glenn and the season premier of Colin "The Microwave" O'Donnell.

Though each game was a dogfight, Glenn and Colin were on the verge of being swept. Though Glenn through big darts, the team of Leary and Shane was too strong. The 'Bags actually held a 4 - 2 lead on corks, but couldn't close the deal. The Alleymen caught up and now the 'Bags were trailing 1 cork to 2 with Leary waiting on deck. This location is very close to the town of "Sh*t's Creek".

Colin missed wide right with his first dart. Then he missed wide right on his second dart. The entire team was watching intently. You could hear a pin drop on Dart Alley. If Colin didn't hit a center cork with his last dart... we were surely dead. He stepped to the line. He eyed up the board. Drew back his hand.... and then he stopped. He turned and addressed the assembled throng:

Colin: Dire straits, indeed, dear chums. And no margin for error at that! Verily, this turn of events calls ... for Ol' Rusty.

Yes, THAT Ol' Rusty! The Billy Barool of the darting world. The enchanted arrow, never known to fail!

Colin reached into his brief case and produced a small wooden box. On the box were Celtic Runes in gold inlay - a language long forgotten. Colin pressed a button on the bottom and the box sprang open, revealing a misshapen bar dart laying on a velvet bed. He held it aloft.

Colin: Old friend, I would not have roused your from the arms of Orpheus, if we were not in grave peril. We have but one chance to hit 2 marks. Should we fail, we would most assuredly lose the day -- yon Leary has a lean and hungry look. So I say to you, once more into the breach, old friend! Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!!

And with a might, cross-handed swipe he let fly his volley! Ol' Rusty twisted swirled, drawn inexorably to the center bull. The blood red cork seemed almost to rise, like an expectant lover as Ol' Rusty penetrated deep into her fibers! An eruption of triumph was heard!

Dartbags: Hooray!

A miracle shot! The was much embracing (of a manly sort) and the slapping of hands could be heard!

Colin: Innkeeper, bring a round of your finest ales for all my friends!

Bartender: Huh?

Colin: Victory is ours!

At least... I think that's what happened. I know this. Colin was as cool as could be when he hit that game winning double cork. And we were as good as dead if he hadn't.

Afterward, Colin's reaction was reserved and utterly unflappable. In other words - typical.

Colin: I like the close matches best. They're more fun.

And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is why he is The Microwave. Not only does he not feel pressure when he comes off the bench... he is literally unaware that he is even SUPPOSED to feel pressure. "I like the close matches best???"

Unreal.

And in the third set (and with considerably less drama) Big Friendly Tim got into the act by taking 2 games of Double '01.

We would finish the night with a 12-12 tie. But we would also finish the night with some serious highlights of the season. And every Dartbag got in on the fun. Winning, shminning. This was a fun night.

So the unbeaten streak stands at 20 weeks. And I'll end the recap right here because time is tight.

That is all.