Bidd'ing For a Win at the Halfway Point

Captain's Log: Dart Date: 5 - 5 - 08

"Pikeless 'Bags Secure Numerous Points, Tacos."

Final Score: Big Triple Hunters: 13 - Dartbags: 11

(Note: This is a remote update from Hutchinson Island, Florida. Less detail than usual.)

Biddy's is a friendly pub. You can't beat the service of JJ and Barry, and the place just has a friendly feel to it. Biddy's has the added benefit of close proximity to "Taco Taco!", one of Colin O'Donnell's (and now the Dartbags') favorite eateries.

Fueled on burritos and quesadillas the Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in New York City (TM) faced off against friendly rivals, Big Triple Hunters. When last we saw BTH, they were called The Tavern Revisited, shooting out of The Tempest.

And they were kicking our arse.

We would need a strong effort to avoid that fate this time, especially without Glenn Pike who is presently in Roma, Italy on his honeymoon presumably spending romantic evenings with Nelly, drawing stares from the locals ("Enzo, look... eetsa Micka-Dreamy!", "No, Micka-Dreamy izza taller") and assiduously trying to keep them from pinching his wife's butt.

In addition, Edna was in Vegas at a show (he didn't specify what kind of show, so I'm assuming "burlesque") and the enigmatic known as The Microwave was mysteriously absent. It would be a skeleton crew of Cuppa, Vince, a conscripted Gins and Baguette, Hope.

And Cup was playing with a heavy heart. He had lost his Grandmother just a couple of days earlier. After attending the funeral and taking care of family business he joined us at Biddy's. Most people reading this blog have had the experience of losing a grandma, and know how difficult it is.

Feel free to say a prayer on that one.

Back to darts.

Here's what happened.

SINGLES

Frank (3) vs Tom Gray (0): It would be Frank, batting in Pike's slot. During pregrame warmups, Frank and Tom are shooting the breeze when Africa, by Toto comes on the jukebox.

Frank: What's this song about anyway? Is he singing about the continent of Africa or he is singing about a girl? "Gonna take a lot to drag me away from you..." It sounds sort of like it's about a girl to me. Pretty romantic. Actually, it sounds like it could be both. Maybe it's a metaphor. What's the deal there?

Tom (shaking his head): I don't know what Toto sings about, Frank.

(Frank nodding)

Tom: I'm not sure I want to know.

Frank: Well, yeah... me neither.

It was the captain batting in Pike's slot. A couple of rounds of rather nondescript darts by both players. Neither player could really get comfortable.

I blame Toto.

It would be Frank getting the double first. In the last game, out of nowhere, Frank simply caught fire. He turned in a 16 darter, tying a Dartbag record set earlier this year by Cuppa Joe. (Had a shot at a 15 darter, but his attempt at D-18 hit a D-4). 530 ASPs along the way. Yowza.

Cup (1) vs Eric Matern (2): These were all close games. Eric was solid, nailing 60 at a time. Cup was hot on the 19s, turning in 295 ASPs. Eric would take the first. And Cup would let a lead slip away in the 2nd. But sitting on 10, Joey Pep turned in a neat finish going, 5, T-1, D-1 to take the final point.

Vince (1) vs Christian Wirth (2): These were good matches as well. The Hornet's Nest carried the momentum by taking the first leg in 9 rounds securing consecutive points. (A rare occurence on this night for the 'Bags.). In the next two games, Christian began to heat up and won a pair of nip and tuck contests.

Gins (1) vs Scott (2): Give credit to Gins he hung around in each game and shot respectable darts. In the last game, staring at a sweep, he dialed it up a notch. He took advantage of his breaks and took out a 40 (20, miss, D-10) to get us a point.

CRICKET

VincenCuppa (1) vs. Chrustian and Ed Lewis (2): These were well-played games. I thought Vince and Cup threw some of the best cricket we've thrown all year (althought that's not exactly a powerful statement this year for the 'Bags, sort of like claiming to be "The World's Tallest Midget!"). Nonetheless, they shot very well. Solid scoring, clutch closes, Vince even mixed in an R-6 worth of 18s. But it was Christian and Ed who shot just a little better. Three hard fought, tense matches. The Big Trip Hunters taking the first two, the 'Bags salvaged the last. Legit A-2 quality darts. Just gotta tip your cap sometimes.


Franken'Berg (1) vs Eric and Tom (2): Eric and Tom -who popped 6 corks the other night at The Gaf - didn't have any crazy rounds (unless you consider R-4s and R-5s crazy, in which case they were freakin' lunatics). It was Tom and Eric firing out of the gate en route to a "don't blink or you'll miss it" win in game 1. The second game was closer. Sort of. (Gins had some splashy heroics to make the score look better). But I think 8 Belles was closer to Big Brown than the 'Bags were to victory.
The 3rd game appeared to be the same story when Tom popped an R-5 on 19s to go up 114 points and go up 11 marks to 2. Double-edge sword. Big points on the pro side. Lights a fire on the con side. The 'Bags had lost the high ground, but stayed on the attack striking from 17s before making their stand on bulls. The first volley was a C-4 from Frank and both 'Bags kept hammering away. Before you know it, the 'Bags had pulled in front. With two 15s (for a close) separating the 'Bags from victory/defeat, Gins stepped to the line. This is a pressure moment for any dart player. He missed low on the first. (Dang.) Then he stepped back from the line and collected hiimself. Next dart... T-15. Wow! Superclutch darts to seal a big time comeback. Very proud of the Ginsberg.

DOUBLE '01

Franken'Berg (1) vs Ed and Scott (2): Frank's mojo had left the building. It was Gins who kept the 'Bags in it by seemingly he hitting above 60 every round. Twice he left Frank a shot (albeit a brief shot) at an out. No dice. Ed and Scott shot well by getting on early and keeping the pressure on. (Ed mixing in 240 ASPs). In the third game it was Gins blessedly getting the 'Bags on the dance floor and Frank taking out 50 with a 32 on the last dart (Whew!). One point. So be it.

CupnVince (2) vs Eric and Christian (1): Frank's mojo had the left building but it seemed to meet Cup's mojo on the way in. Joey Pep stepped up his game and Vince had stayed sharp. Eric and Christian got in early and stayed a step ahead to take the first point. But Cup pounded the 19s (en route to 228 ASPs) in game 2. It was Vince nearly nailing a 106 out in one game and taking out a 71 with a two dart flourish T-19, D-7 for the final point of the night. Again, more terrific darts from Cup and Vincenzo to beat a very tough pair of opponents.

The 'Bags just found a way to hang in there all night. There are 8 sets of games in any given night. The 'Bags only "won" 2 of those sets. But by not giving darts away and gutting out single points, they managed to lose just 13 - 11 against a dangerous team.

I think the hero of the night was Ginsberg. We normally don't expect too much from him. Just good company, a lot of laughs and perhaps a new stain on his tennis shirt. But when pressed into service, he takes it seriously and competes. And he actually secured a point in every set he played. More than that, he shot quite well.

A tip of the cap to Big Triple Hunters. We've played these guys for years (though it had been a while) and they're always good company and good shots. We wish them good darts until we seem them again, 7 or so weeks @ GK.

Hat tip to Hopi as well. It's always a better night when she's around.

Lastly, kudos to Joe. He lost a loved one, but - after doing what a good grandson should do - still made the scene and shot well.

Our thoughts and prayers are with his family.

All Star Recap:

Furious: 655
Cup: 518
Vince: 220
Gins: RANGERS WIN!

Good Guys + Big Comeback = Good Times Again at GK

Captain's Log: Dart Date: 4 - 28 - 08

Final Score: Dartbags 13 - Bullistics 11

It was Good Times once again @ GK.

The reasons?

We saw some crazy darts from the likes of Glenn and Vince.

We had a good crowd on hand for the festivities. Gins, Colin (who observed a pre-match ritual by enjoying a Greek meal at the Table that covered all 4 food groups), Hopi, Laura, Nellie with bangs and her friend Kira, who doesn't have bangs. (If I missed someone, I apologize.) In a season that has handed the 'Bags more than its share of whompings (I say, "no more!" Whompings that is.), the 'Bags desperately needed to get in the "W" column. And thanks to a big comeback, we managed to do jus--

WE INTERUPT THIS BLOG POST TO BRING YOU THIS IMPORTANT BULLETIN:

Giuseppe Franco has an important message about Procede hair thickener.

Giuseppe Franco: I don't own the company... I don't know anything about it...I just know that it is THE GREATEST PRODUCT EVER!

WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING

Wow. Good stuff. We don't normally do emergency bulletins at The Dartbags Blog.

But we make exceptions for the President of the United States... and Giuseppe Franco.

So where was I... oh yeah --And last, but far from least, we were playing Bullistics, a worthy rival (who beat us last year to take the A-3 crown) who are always good company to drink with.

Here's what happened.

Singles

Glenn (1) vs. Joe Taras (2): Two great shots. Two class acts. Gentleman Joe took the first banging out a a 72 (20, 12, D-20) so fast that it confused Frank the scorekeeper. Pike responded a classic effort. Mashing a T-71, and a T-21, two turns later... that left him on X. (What else you gonna do when you're on 59 with 1 dart left!). He calmly missed high on dart 1, then buried the second dart to finish a 20 darter. Sweet. But Joe took the rubber match.

Frank (2) vs. Paul Quisenberry (1): The Captain was aight. No fuego, but sharp enough to find the triple on a regular basis and rack up 400+ ASPs. Paul on the other hand, didn't have his usual mojo. In fact, he would make a shaft adjustment later on that would help him get back on track for cricket. (No not THAT kind of shaft adjustment. This kind. Geez! Ya sick bastard.) With both players sitting on sitting on D-4, it was the Quiz Master taking it out first to take the final point.

Cup (0) vs. Liam Keane (3): In answer to the eternal queston: This Cup was half-empty. Joey Pep didn't have his usual... um, pep. Liam on the other hand shot well (439 ASPs). It was Liam delivering the Keane-note address: Good morning, Good evening, Good night. The 'Bags are definitely noticing the step up this year from A-3 to A-2. Much less margerine for error.

Vince (2) vs. Gloria Gutierrez (1): Fun match between Vincenzo and an old friend from the league. Gloria holds the distinction, not only of being a fine shot, but of being the best-looking member of Bullistics. But Vince has always been a lady-killer, dating back to C. Vince was Andy Pettitte-like in game 1; (i.e., he stopped the losing streak). But Gloria on the strength of a T-05 and T-25 returned the favor in game 2. Vince had a D-20 in his pocket in the 3rd leg, and broke it out to take the rubber match.

(Wow.  Did that last sentence sound weirdly sexy to you?  No?... Me neither. On to...)

Cricket

Cricket sucked. They probably have a different take on it. Being as they won 2/3 every time. But we feel we're more objective on the issue.

Vince/Frank (1) vs. Joe/Paul (2): In the first game, it seemed like Joe and Paul started before us, pounding 3s and 4s and 5s, before we could barely make a mark. The 'Bags stand on Bullsye was valiant, but ended like the Alamo. When we finished pulling arrows our of butts, we played game 2. Vince and Frank rolled to an easy one. But J/P outplayed the 'Bags in the tie-breaker, despite some heroics from Vincenz. Dang it.

Glenn/Cup (1) vs. James Eugenia/Liam(2): It was another frustrating LWL scenario. But this match yielded a highlight/achievement that was a first in Dartbag history -- Glenn crushing the 16s for an R-9, for his SECOND PATCH OF THE NIGHT. (Well player, sir. Well played.) Unfortunately, cricket was not well-played. I think it's safe to say that neither side shot the way they wanted to.

As scorekeeper, Frank passed (some) of the time watching the Director's Cut of Braveheart in its entirety. But the bottom line is that Bullistics shot better. They take the round on points.

Boy, I tell ya. Cricket is killing the 'Bags this year. Do we need to go back to two-a-days? Suicides?? Running the "3-Dart-Weave, still the most intimidating warm up ritual in dart history??? (kudos to Farticus)

Double '01

Here is where the night turned around for the Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC (TM). Down 11-7, with 6 points left, there was still a chance to pull out a win. But there was a greater chance to once again be left with a (4th consecutive---

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Former A-List actor, Gary Busey seen hugging Giuseppe Franco outside Franco's Beverly Hills Salon. Details to follow as the story unfolds.

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Okay... um, thanks for that. Back to Double '01:

Double '01

FrankenVince (3) vs. Keane'n'Quiz (0): Frank showed up. But this round was about The Hornet's Nest throwing perhaps the manliest darts all year. How manly? The story will be passed down generation to generation in the form of epic poems, and memorialized in ballads sung by our sub-class of wandering minstrels who roam the countryside playing mandolins (as is the way of our people).

It was Vince taking out a D-20 in the first match to take a point. Sitting on 129 in the second match, Vince considered what to shoot at. He paused for a moment, and then popped a T-19, then paused for another moment and nailed a T-20, at which he paused for several moments - and buried a D-6. Beautiful. And with Paul sitting on a fat out, it was also uber-clutch.

'Cenzo would stay hot. Sitting on 107 with 3 darts, he would end up sitting on 82 with one dart.

Vince: What do you want me to do, guy?

Frank: Hit a T-14 for a D-20 leave... or you could hit a Double Bull.

Vince chose the latter and hit center cork, then he did something he rarely does during a match - he turned and grinned. Sometimes, you just know where the dart is going to land before you throw it.

When Frank turned the 32 leave into a 24 leave. Vince was out on the first dart.

It was a huge performance. Paul remarked that in each game he was left with the winning dart in his hand. So without the big performance, you can bet there would have been some losses for the 'Bags.

Glenn/Cup (3) vs. Joe/James (0): These games were not as dramatic, but no less valuable. It was Pike doing much of the heavy lifting (including quick ons on the 19s) and Cuppa Joe regaining his out-stroke to drive the final nail in the last two games. As usual, every game was---

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Giuseppe Franco: Hey... I'm Giuseppe Franco!!

WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULE PROGRAMMING

I can't work like this.

No.

Seriously.

This is bullsh*t.

I freakin-

All right, fine.

Just get me a Jamey rocks. Stat!

......

......

Okay. Much better.

Where was I? Oh. I used th headline "Good Times" because it sums up the night. It was just a lot of fun. But Monday would have been a enjoyable and well spent evening, whether we won or lost. Bullistics is a fun team to play against. It was good darts, sportsmanship all around and a mutual Jameson toast when the final score was in. In fact, several of their guys stayed long after the match just to shoot the breeze and have a couple of beers. It felt like old times.

We'll look forward to heading to their place in the second half, where they will probably have Dean The Machine (Reigning A-3 MVP) back with the squad.

Cheers to all. (And kudos to my bro, for the Giuseppe Franco observations. Hysterical. And if anyone wants to buy a house/rent a place let me know. He'll hook you up.)

We are at Biddy's Pub next week.

All Star Recap:

Pike: 567 (With a T-71, and R-9)
Frank: 506
Vince: 430 (With a supersweet, DF-129)
Cup: 200

Escape From McSwiggan's! Starring Koyaaniskalstein

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 3 - 31 - 08

Riding high off a 15-9 start to the season, the first place Dartbags' (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC TM) 2nd match was more like an escape than a full on battle for points.

Due a bizarre series of events (much like the ones that befell the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant's ringers in their battle against Shelbyville) only 2 of the "George Keeley 7" were armed and ready.

In fact, Colin "The Microwave" O'Donnell was temporarily replaced on the roster by another old friend, Koyaaniskalstein (eat your heart out, Seal, Bono & Madonna), just so that we wouldn't play with 2 guys to start the night.

The infamous Koyaaniskalstein is not an A League dart player. In fact, he's not a dart player. But the fact is, he doesn't suck. And he was willing to help out in a pinch. He would play a pivotal role in the night before it was over.

SINGLES: 3-9

Some call it being a sacrificial lamb. Rambo called it being "Expendable". Our shorthand is "diving on a grenade". It means helping the team by playing a far superior opponent in order to give another player a better chance of getting points. That's what Koyaaniskalstein did in going first against Dave Strome.

And it was a gustsy, if not pretty effort by Koyaaniskalstein. Dave wracked up 299 ASPs. Koyaaniskalstein hung in and even managed a sweet 108 round to score some all star points of his own. But in the end. The highly skilled veteran was too much. He swept, with Koyaaniskalstein getting as low as 74 in one game.

Gutty effort, pal. We owe you one. 0-3

Next, Frank took on Hal Von Brockdorff. Frank and Hal have played each other a number of times. It's always close. Hal, sporting a Beltran jersey for Mets opening day, roared out off the box like Jose Reyes after a liner in the gap -- Ton-40 and Ton on his first two rounds and an 85 after that. Frank made it close but dropped the first. In the 2nd game it was the Captain hung closer and pulled out a double 2 winner to steal it. The final game was a well played affair with Frank going out in 24 darts to take the rubber match.

Whew. 2-4.

In the third set, it was Vince against Patricia, who still is a nasty dart player. And we mean that in a good way. Vince dropped the first in a listless affair, but in true Hornet's Nest fashion, Vince came out firing with an angry Ton to start the second and cruised to a victory. The last set was one in which both had their chances, in the end it was Pat nailing it first. 3-6

With Gins at MSG watching the Rangers beat the Penguin, it was on to cricket.

CRICKET 1 -5

Vince and Frank decided the only logical thing to do was team up in cricket, putting Koyaaniskalstein in the unenviable spot not only of playing darts for the first time in league, not only debuting in A-2, but of playing cricket Canadian.

Frank and Vince dropped the first against Hal and Ed in a close game. In the second game, the 'Bags got out to a lead on the strength of some R-4s from Vince. But the 15s and 16s seemed to have a forcefield around them, and Frank committed 2 mental errors by trying to point on a closed number and failing to use a third dart to close a number. Not good. They dropped the 2nd game. Vince took out his frustration on the 18s by throwing 6 of them and adding a 15 to make an R-7. The 'Bags kicked into gear and rolled to a W in the final game.

It was Koyaaniskalstein's turn to play 1 on 2 against Dave and Pat in cricket. Everyone knew he wasn't going to win. And he didn't. But this match had another, greater importance for the 'Bags. We had agreed with Captain Ed that if Ginsberg made it to the bar before the end of cricket, that we would go back and play his singles matches. So we didn't need Koyaaniskalstein to win. We just needed him to play. Slowly.

Because the Rangers just went in to overtime.

Dave and Pat made short work of him, with Dave popping a pair of R-7s. But as Three Penny Opera hit their last 15 and their first cork, in through the door walked an out of breath but smiling Mike Ginsberg.

Gins: Chris Drury. (pause) Overtime. (pause) Mr. Clutch (pause)... I had to run the last 5 blocks.

And much like Aragorn, who led the Gondor Army to the gates of Baradur in order to give Frodo time to destory the One Ring in the fires of Mount Doom... Koyaaniskalstein had done his heroic duty.

Gins played Ed and put up a good fight. In the final game, sitting on 32, he went around the horn going 16, 8, 4... just missing each time. But the veteran, Ed made his first. Another valiant effort. We were proud of him.

Gins: I would have liked to have gotten one of those points... At least the Rangers won.

DOUBLES '01

Trailing 14-4, the 'Bags were on the brink of disaster. With Frank and Vince managing to only take 4 of 9 so far, our chances of a respectable result were dwindling.

The 'Bags had played in conservatively so far and it was the right thing to do.

But the Dartbags have always subscribed to the of philosophy of Virgil; "Fortune favors the bold." Vince and Frank deliberated.

Vince: You and me again?

Frank: Let's split up. We need points.

Vince: It's risky. Losing 20-4 would crush us. Put us in last place.

Frank: Yeah, but we could get 6. C'mon, guy... we could be heroes.

Vince got it.

Vince: Just for one night? ... Okay, you talked me into it.

It was Koyaanisfrankenstein vs. Dave and Pat in the first set.

Koyaaniskalstein: I just want to taste victory once in my dart career.

Franken'Stein (Man, I've been waiting for YEARS to write that one!) would face off against David and Patricia. Let it be said that Koyaaniskalstein did more than "dive on a grenade" for the team and act as a human rain delay this night, he also showed an uncanny ability to double in 'O1.

Frank missed his first shot but Koyaaniskalstein nailed a D-6 on his second dart, and then, aiming for bull, nailed a cork. (Nice.) The 'Bags extended the lead and Frank took out an 18 (9, 1, D-4) to win a nailbiter.

Koyaaniskalstein AGAIN doubled in on D-6 to get the 'Bags on the board. Trailing most of the match, the Captain caught lightning in a bottle and popped a Ton-80 to leave the 'Bags on 28. Koyaaniskalstein wired the hell out of the D-14 and D-7, and Frank punched it in to steal the second leg.

The last leg ended with the 'Bags racing out to a big lead and red-hot Furious One taking out a 108 (20, -T-16, D-20) to score the final point and complete the sweep. Three huge points against some very tough players.

Wow.

That's more than a taste of victory for Koyaaniskalstein. That's a Super Sized Happy Meal. 6-14.

The old Scarsdale Track teammates, Vince and Gins took on Hal and Ed in the final set of the night. The 'Bags got on a little late in the first game and a good comeback attempt fell short. But Vince led the charge in game two with a Ton and Gins (who chipped in with a couple of 70+ rounds in the set) sunk a double 8 to nail down the second game. Hal and Ed rebounded to take the rubber match.

Vince and I agreed that the goal was to each win a point. We did that and then some, taking 4 and turning what could have been a fiasco into a 8-16 loss. The result being a respectable 23 points after two weeks, with the squad yet to field its best team.

Fortune favors the bold.

It wasn't a big night for points. But we never quit and we rallied around each other. And we welcomed a new Dartbag into the fold. In short... it was a good night after all.

We'll take it.

FINAL SCORE: DARTBAGS - 8 - THREE PENNY OPERA -16

Kudos to Three Penny Opera who were gracious hosts and good company all night long.

ASP Recap:

Frank: 783

Vince: 340

Koyaaniskalstein: 108

Gins: ... GO, RANGERS!!!!

Congratulations!

Our own Edna Kilduff is already the in the lead for Ladies All Star Point Champion.  (See first paragraph here) 

You go, girl!!!

Not to mention, the Bags roared out of the gate and are now sitting in first place.

We'll be without The Werewolf tomorrow.  (He has more important things to do after getting hitched in a gorgeous wedding in Brenham, TX on Saturday.)  But he will missed, nonetheless.

In addition, The Microwave is likely out of action and Gins is at the Rangers gme. But we will be making a mystery call up for the match so that we do not have to play shorthanded.

That is all.

-Captain Furious

WRITE UP FOR WEEK # 14: FINALE AT FOLEY'S

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 01 - 07 - 08

It was a good crowd @ Foley's. All 7 'Bags were there as well as Baguettes, Nellie, Jess, and even Rachel (who accompanied The Microwave.)

The last time the 'Bags were played @ Foley's we got spanked 15 - 9. It was a debacle. The Good Guys of George Keeley were hoping to get a better result this time. It wouldn't be easy, Balls and Strikes would be hungry for points as they were locked in a dogfight for the final playoff spot. The 'Bags on the other hand, were sitting 5 points in front of the 3rd place team. First place was out of reach, but the 'Bags were intent on not letting their consolation prize slip out of their grasp.

Metrosexual Monday?

It was also a night of banal, but strangely engrossing conversation. Seven regular guys, having beers, hanging out in a premium sports bar with the Sugar Bowl on the tube. So, naturally the conversation drifted from football and whether Glenn Dorsey would be the first pick in the NFL draft... to fashion faux pas and hair care.

It started innocently enough. Frank wore one of his patented J Crew rollneck sweaters. The bar was hot, so Cup suggested that Frank take off the sweater.

Frank explained that, if he were to do so, he would in fact be shirtless.

Cup was flabbergasted.

Cup: You wore a sweater with no shirt underneath it!

Frank: It's really more of a shirt than a sweater.

But that wouldn't do. Cup refused let it go, and visibly struggled to come to grips with what he considered an egregious sartorial blunder.

Cup: You CANNOT wear a sweater with no shirt underneath! Look at you, you're sweater flops whenever you shoot, you're... you're Floppy Roll Neck Guy!

Glenn: Actually, the J Crew Roll Neck is really made to be worn with out a shirt underneath it.

Frank: I'm not Floppy Roll Neck Guy.

Cup: Yes, you are.

Frank: I'm not Floppy Roll Neck Guy.

Cup: Yes, you are... Floppy.

Frank: I'm not Fl- WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?

But the conversation would sink even deeper into Queer EyeVille.

Cup: Look at Glenn's hair... it's perfect. How do you get your hair like? No. Seriously. It looks like it was sculpted out of clay.

Glenn: The key is not to wash it too often. Although I do use conditioner several times a week.

Frank chimed in, "I saw a werewolf drinking a Jameson's at Foley's Bar... and his hair was perfect. (Dep!)

Cup decided that Glenn was "The Werewolf" - at which point Glenn revealed that he liked this nickname much more than IYH.

So Glenn is now "The Werewolf". End of story.

But enough of fashion and and hair care. This blog is about darts.

Finale at Foley's

SINGLES: 9 - 3

Frank started out against Captain Steve, and began the evening with a Ton-40. Steve racked up 500+ ASPs and Frank compiled 441. But, neither man was sharp on the doubles. It was Frank winning the war of attrition, however, and starting the season finale with a sweep.

Up next, Piker would take on Jim "Mr." Coffey. Pike was a beast 4 AS rounds and a slew of 79+s. Jim nearly stole a game by taking out a 108. That was as close as he'd get. Back to back sweeps and the 'Bags were rolling.

Cup got his wish - to play Carlos, who took it to Cup big time in their first meeting. This time it was Cuppa coming back strong. Four AS rounds and two Ws to give the 'Bags an 8- 1 edge.

It was Vince drawing the heavy artillery in the form of Brendan Dowling. Last time we played BD, he took out an 18 darter and struck a Ton-80. This time he wasn't quite as a sharp (only had a 20 darter). But Vince withstood the onslaught and rallied to take the final point creating a 9-3 advantage heading to cricket.

CRICKET: 4 -2

Frank and Vince faced off against Brendan and Mr. Coffey. Frank and Vince were top of their game and coasted to victory in the first. Brendan and Jim would get revenge in the second set. But the 'Bags got an unexpected break - Frank's shaft snapped off and the stump got lodged in his barrel. Despite the efforts of Glenn and notable Dart Surgeon, Cuppa (who went to work with a steak knife and a cigarette lighter), the dart was done for the night. It worked out well when Frank's substitute dart (one of Glenn's 22 grams "goldies") wouldn't stop hitting triples. (Must have retained Glenn's mojo). The 'Bags took the rubber match with a slew of "golden" triples from Frank and a flurry of corks from Vince. 11-4

Pike and Cup went up against Captain Steve and Carlos. Again it was Glennjamin, en fuego. Cuppa Joe was also on top of his game. The 'Bags took the first and the last to earn two more points. 13-5

DOUBLES 01: 3 -3

Big Friendly Hero

Big Friendly Tim was not planning to come out tonight, but with only 4 appearances during the year, he needed this one to become playoff eligible. Being a "Team Guy" he agreed to scrap his restful evening and make the trek. The Hornet's Nest summed it up best.

Vince: You got called right off the couch... like Vinny Testaverde.

"Vinnie" and Glenn would go first in Double 01. The Vin-Man was his solid veteran self (lots of arm strength), hitting 57s like they Wayne Chrebet and getting us on the board in game 1. Glenn continued his white hot shooting delivering a 101-On and 5 All star (rounds including back to back T-33s in the last game). He racked up 1005 ASPS for the night (nice work, guy), but most importantly, he hit the doubles. Two more for the 'Bags.

Lastly, Cup and Vince agains battled Brendan & Jim, taking the first point. The Foley's crew, desperate for each W managed to pull out the final two points despite good efforts from the 'Bags.

FINAL SCORE: DARTBAGS - 16, BALLS 'N STRIKES 8

And that was that for the 2007 Fall Dartbags. We didn't take first, which was our main goal. (Congrats to Bullistics). But we managed to snag the 2nd prize. Less than ideal, but still, it's progress. We want to thank everyone who came out to hang with us and support us this year. It's one of the reasons we look forward to Monday Nights.

Feel free to do the same thing at Gaf East tonight for the first round of the playoffs.

Unfortunately, Captain Furious has to be out of town and will be unable to attend the match.

And he's pretty sick over it, to tell the truth. He was rooting for a snowstorm, but the Dart Gods wouldn't grant him one. So the 'Bags will have to take on "Never Shakey" Harlan Blaikie, Dax Munna and the rest of the Poison Dart Frogs.

Congrats, guys.

Give 'em hell.

And have fun.

That is all.

AS RECAP:

Pike: 1005
Frank: 441
Cup: 428
Vince: 340
"Vinnie" Sheahan: QB rating of 106.2, 237 yards, zero picks.

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #9: MOONLIGHT GINSBERG AND THE RETURN OF THE MICROWAVE

"Ginsberg Leaves Rangers For Dartbags, Ol' Rusty Makes Triumphant Return, Big Friendly Joins in Fun"

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 11 - 19 - 07

NOTE: This post was more substantial... but it got erased because the blogspot platform is as stable as Rosie O'Donnell going through Twinkie withdrawal. This version is shorter.
---------------
The Dartbags had been inVinceable. But Vince was in California. Thus they were inVinceable no more.

Facing a resurgent Alleymen squad who seemed to have found their footing in A league, the 'Bags would need all hands on deck in order to pick up slack. They would muster 6 of 7 'Bags as well as a surprise visit from Lillian (who has been known to wander as far south as 33rd Street in pursuit of a delicious Auntie Anne's Pretzel Dog.) With no further ado this is what happened.

Glenn Pike 2, Ryan Shane 1

Frank Murtha 2, Tim Tully 1

Cuppa Joe Gasparino 1, Mark Collins 2

Mike Ginsberg 0, Gerard Leary 3

Pike was good not great. Ditto Frank who managed 4 all star rounds. Cup shot okay, but Collins was terrific. Still Cup managed to take a game off a good shot. And Gins... well, Gins was a hero no matter what he did. Ginsberg was actually watching his Rangers take on their arch-rival Islanders around the coner at Madison Square Garden. But, being the team guy that he is, he agreed to play singles because we had no other players available. The plan, suggested by the Captain, was to have Gins show up during the first intermission and then go back to catch the rest of the game. If timed correctly, he would miss no more than 5 minutes of hockey action.

But what Gins knew - and Frank did not - is that MSG has a no re-entry policy for Rangers games. In fact, the entire scene played out like one of our favorite movies.

Field of Dartbags

Gins: What have we got here?

Frank: We fell - 2 out of 3.

Gins: Why, this team's chokin' to death! You need to lighten up, just have some fun. You'll be all right. You'll be doin' handsprings again in no time.

He borrowed a set of the Captain's 22 Widows... and promptly got swept by Leary (who was shooting sick darts, literally not missing a 20 in one game until going for his outs). So be it.

Frank: Hey, Gins. Thanks for making it. It was a good effort. Go, enjoy the rest of the hockey game.

Gins just smiled and shook his head in answer... and the Captain came to a horrible realization

Frank: Oh, my God... You can't go back. You can't go back!

Gins: It's all right-

Frank: I'm sorry.

Gins: It's all right.

Frank: But you were only there for 1 period!!! The Rangers-Islanders is like your dream night. It would kill some men to get that close to their dream and not touch it... They'd consider it a tragedy.

Gins just shook his head.

Gins: Son, if I could only have been a Dartbag for 1 period... now THAT would have been a tragedy.

He shook each Dartbag's hand one after another and each one thanked him. No Gins didn't win a game. Frankly, we never expect him to. But the way Leary was shooting, he probably would have beaten any Dartbag. We call playing such hot shooters "diving on a grenade." And it was at that point we knew that Gins one appearance was like Moonlight Graham's one at bat... it was a sacrifice. Gins gave a little salute as he made his way out of Dart Alley.

Gins: Win one for me one day, will you, boys?

He turned to leave.

Glenn: Hey, Gins...

Gins turned 'round

Glenn: ... you didn't suck.

He gave a smile and twinkle returned to his eye. Ginsberg put on his Rangers cap, and then mysteriously disappeared into the crowd at the bar.

And then he came back 2 minutes later with a Jameson's.

Love the effort.

Darts took 2nd billing to drama in the 2nd set.

Sure, Cup and Frank took 2 of 3. But the real story was the valiant effort of Glenn and the season premier of Colin "The Microwave" O'Donnell.

Though each game was a dogfight, Glenn and Colin were on the verge of being swept. Though Glenn through big darts, the team of Leary and Shane was too strong. The 'Bags actually held a 4 - 2 lead on corks, but couldn't close the deal. The Alleymen caught up and now the 'Bags were trailing 1 cork to 2 with Leary waiting on deck. This location is very close to the town of "Sh*t's Creek".

Colin missed wide right with his first dart. Then he missed wide right on his second dart. The entire team was watching intently. You could hear a pin drop on Dart Alley. If Colin didn't hit a center cork with his last dart... we were surely dead. He stepped to the line. He eyed up the board. Drew back his hand.... and then he stopped. He turned and addressed the assembled throng:

Colin: Dire straits, indeed, dear chums. And no margin for error at that! Verily, this turn of events calls ... for Ol' Rusty.

Yes, THAT Ol' Rusty! The Billy Barool of the darting world. The enchanted arrow, never known to fail!

Colin reached into his brief case and produced a small wooden box. On the box were Celtic Runes in gold inlay - a language long forgotten. Colin pressed a button on the bottom and the box sprang open, revealing a misshapen bar dart laying on a velvet bed. He held it aloft.

Colin: Old friend, I would not have roused your from the arms of Orpheus, if we were not in grave peril. We have but one chance to hit 2 marks. Should we fail, we would most assuredly lose the day -- yon Leary has a lean and hungry look. So I say to you, once more into the breach, old friend! Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!!

And with a might, cross-handed swipe he let fly his volley! Ol' Rusty twisted swirled, drawn inexorably to the center bull. The blood red cork seemed almost to rise, like an expectant lover as Ol' Rusty penetrated deep into her fibers! An eruption of triumph was heard!

Dartbags: Hooray!

A miracle shot! The was much embracing (of a manly sort) and the slapping of hands could be heard!

Colin: Innkeeper, bring a round of your finest ales for all my friends!

Bartender: Huh?

Colin: Victory is ours!

At least... I think that's what happened. I know this. Colin was as cool as could be when he hit that game winning double cork. And we were as good as dead if he hadn't.

Afterward, Colin's reaction was reserved and utterly unflappable. In other words - typical.

Colin: I like the close matches best. They're more fun.

And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is why he is The Microwave. Not only does he not feel pressure when he comes off the bench... he is literally unaware that he is even SUPPOSED to feel pressure. "I like the close matches best???"

Unreal.

And in the third set (and with considerably less drama) Big Friendly Tim got into the act by taking 2 games of Double '01.

We would finish the night with a 12-12 tie. But we would also finish the night with some serious highlights of the season. And every Dartbag got in on the fun. Winning, shminning. This was a fun night.

So the unbeaten streak stands at 20 weeks. And I'll end the recap right here because time is tight.

That is all.

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #6: SCARY GOOD COMEBACK

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 10 - 29 - 07

Halloween in New York. You gotta love it. People in this town are so Type A, so driven, that when an opportunity comes along when you can "play against type" and just be a goofball... you gotta embrace it. Enter The 2nd Annual Halloween Dart Night (NOTE: PICTORIAL TO FOLLOW). Sure, we were missing 28% of the 'Bags (Tim had to work late and Gins was at the Ranger game). But we enjoyed the company of Colin "The Microwave" O'Donell. We had Lou Henry and his Starving Dartists drop by on their way to their C-3 match. Always good to see those guys. And we even managed to get 2 of 3 Klopchin sisters, Hopi and Holly. In addition Nellie and (Friend of Dartbags, F.O.D) Greg were on hand. Good crew. We knew regardless of the outcome, it would be a good night.

The 'Bags would take on Hands of Doom on "The Stage" at Barfly. It had been a while since we'd faced off against this bunch. The last time we saw HOD was B league playofss back on Tuesday when Farticus, Pew Lou, and the Surgeon were on active duty.

Usually, the 'Bags send Glenn up first. But not always. Glenn's logic was the final word on the matter.

Glenn: Ladies first.

So Mother Superior would lead off.

SINGLES: 5 - 7 Dartbags

Sister Frank vs. Ross Cohen

Ross came firing out of the gate leading off with a Ton. But he was just getting started. He caught a 66 next round. Then followed that up with a Ton-20. Two rounds later, he found himself on 95. But, Frank was hanging in, just 63 points off the pace. Ross stepped up and went first dart, T-19... 2nd dart D-19. Ho. Lee. Crap. Ross racked up 315 ASPs, hit a Treble every turn, took out a 95 and was gone in 17 darts. Wow. But the Captain kept his cool and took the second game, by hitting (what else) a D-1. And in the final game put away a 32 out with Ross poised to pounce on a 40 out. 2-1 Dartbags, but tip your cap to Ross. Best damn darts we've seen since Tony Roman pulled a 14 Darter on us.

Superglenn vs. Rob Evans

Another match up of people who's been playing each other for years. You knew this would be a good battle. Both shooters were streaky. SuperPike piled up 464 ASPs. But it was Rob who was hitting his outs first, taking the first two. Personally, I think part of the problem was the music. In addition to the usual hard-rocking, upbeat music, Frank had selected a Johnny Cash song, the old spiritual "The Legend of John Henry". Frank's father used to sing this song back in the 70s and Frank recalled it as a a soulful, yet lively, recounting of a man's indominable will (as well as a neocryptic metaphor for creeping Industrialism.) Unfortunately, this version was neither. In fact, I don't know what the hell it was. Usually, Johnny Cash is a safe bet. Not this time. In fact, half the song wasn't even singing, it was Johnny doing a mock dialogue between a quarry foreman and the eponymous John Henry replete with such cringe inducing lines as "Boy! Pick up that hammer!", "Yes sir!". And it went on... For. Ever. It made Freebird look like Louie Louie. The natives at Barfly were clearly getting restless. And by restless, I mean seriously annoyed.

Frank to Jen: The Legend of John Henry isn't quite the crowd pleaser I thought it would be.

Jen: Mmmmm, nope.

Frank: Geez... How long IS this song???

Colin: I think this is the Allman Brothers version.

But Piker didn't let the tragic demise of the "steel-drivin' man" ruin the entire set. He redoubled his focus in leg 3. He popped a D-10 to turn in a 9 turner in the final frame to salvage the point. All tied at 3-3. Whew. Done and Done.

Enter Cuppa Joe featuring a number of newly drawn tattoos vs. Jared DeMarino.

Cup looked pretty tough, I must say. Evidently Barfly patrons agreed. So much so that he was mistaken for the bouncer when he stood by the front door. Always the "Method Actor", Cup submerged himeslf in his role by ID'ing several patrons as they entered the bar.

Cup: ID?

Confused Girl: Oh. Sorry. Umm... I got it in here somew-

Cup: That's all right. C'mon in.

It took Cup a little time to reach cruising altitude in this set. He got out of the gate slowly and Jared D took the first one. By the end he was hot as a freshly made Stouffer's French Bread Pizza (which, if you'll recall your childhood, is roughly the same temperature as bubbling magma). In set two he nearly took out a 152, going T-20, T-20 before missing the D-16. He hit it next dart. And in the second set he went T-19, T-20, S-16 (135) to put himself on 92. Then went S-1, T-17, D-20 to close it out. Gone in 20 darts. The Flaming Cuppa Joe tattoo on his forearm said it all. Hombre es mas en fuego. Great stuff. 5-4 'Bags

Shaggy Vince vs. Matt Heit.

Vince piled up 4 tons along the way. Usually quality rounds earn you a victory. But not this time. Matt simply shot great. He piled up 505 ASPs of his own and was gone in what seemed like 7 to 9 rounds everytime. Sometimes you just run into a buzzsaw. It happens. Another tip of the cap and - hey, wait a minute... we're freaking LOSING! First time all year we've been trailing after singles. Dang. 5-7 HOD

CRICKET: 4 -2 Dartbags

FrankenPike facedd off against Ross and Jen Lilya. Frank got it rolling with 5 20s and the 'Bags never looked back. Ross and Captain Jen stepped up their game in the 2nd leg, but the 'Bags held on. In the final leg, Frank popped a T-20, T-19 and Pike wasn't missing. They took the last one to complete the sweep. Needed that one. 8-7 'Bags

Cup'nVince faced Rob and matt in what would prove to be a tough match. Rob's rep among the D'Bags is well known and Matt seemed intent on making one. The HOD took the first one with stellar darts. But the 'Bags counterpunched in set two with Cup throwing big rounds and Vince chipping in for the win. But Cuppa Joe's broad shoulders were not enough to overcome good darts by Rob and Matt in the final set. Dang. And once again we were tied, this time 9-all.

DOUBLE '01: 6 - 0 Dartbags

It was FrankenVince in the final set taking on Matt and Jen. The Hornet's Nest did the heavy lifing here going In 2 times and Out 3 times. (Two of those outs were in the same exact spot on the board, the D-4 just over the wire of the D-13. Weird). After winning the first two in close matches, Frank offered an observation.

Frank: We gotta pick it up, guy, if we're going to take the last one.

Vince: What do you mean 'we'? I've gotten us in and out twice and I hit 2 Tons.

Frank: (pause) I see your point.

So the Cap heated up long enough to toss a couple of all stars and Vince again drove the nail to take the W - and the sweept. 12-9 'Bags

Cup and Glenn took on Matt and Rob in the finale. There were 3 points out there for the taking. The night could end up anywhere from a tie to a nice win. Cup and Glenn were terrific. Both men got on quickly and out on the first few darts. In addition, they were lighting up the ASPs with over 500 between them. Details are sketchy and viewed through Jamesons colored glasses, but sufficie it to say the Good Guys took all three points and Cup once again had a High O with a searing DS-116 in game 3. Great work from the Astorians and a great way to finish the evening.

FINAL SCORE: DARTBAGS - 15 : HANDS OF DOOM - 9

This was a good night all around. HOD were good shots and a great hosts. Rather than look down on the silliness of Halloween Darts they were on board, and we shared some hearty laughs along the way. This bunch likes to have a good time. If not for a late run by the 'Bags, this one could have gone either way. As it was, we'll consider ourselves fortunate to get 15 points and run the unbeaten streak to 17 weeks. We'll look forward to seeing them at our place in December.

All Star Recap:

Bouncer Cup: 719 (Is there anyone in A-3 playing better?)
Super Glenn: 698 (Pike-like as the night progressed)
Shaggy Vince: 600 (Carried us in D '01)
Sister Frank: 558 (Looked suprisingly good in Habit)

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #3: GETTING BACK TO OUR 'ROOTS

'Bags Roll 16-8
CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 08 - 01 - 07

St. Mark's Place, Greenwich Village. More tattoos, piercings and Valtrex customers per square foot than any patch of land on the Eastern seaboard. Grassroots Tavern stands out like an oasis. A lone representative of a time when St. Mark's Place was not a carnival of exhibitionism and bad taste, but a gritty working class block in New York City. Two dollar beers. Saw dust on the floor. Dart boards. Old School.

The Dartbags were on hand to play Flight Risk. It was a good turn out for the George Keeley crew. Tim, Gins, Pike, Cup, Vince as well as a surprise appearance by our own Farticus and our friend, Gemma. We took our places at the rustic tables in the back room to enjoy the darts, $13 pitchers of Brooklyn (Phillies?) Pennant Ale, and one another's company.

On to darts.

But first, a comic prelude with a misunderstanding worthy of Three's Company (if Three's Company were rated R). Frank used the restroom and went to wash up afterward. But the soap wouldn't come out. It was one of those dispensers that looks like almost like a cow utter. The liquid is contained in a plastic bulb. There is a nozzle that hangs down at the bottom of it. You press upward on that nozzle with your palm and the soap is supposed to release onto your hand.

So I'm pressing up, but the pressure of my hand that moves the nozzle is also blocking the outflow. (An inherent design flaw. I've always thought the guy who designed this product was either an idiot or practical joker.) Still no soap. So the Captain gets the bright idea to squeeze the plastic container in hopes of creating some pressure. He squeezes the dispenser with his right hand and presses up on the nozzle with his left and ---

SPLAT!!!!

Too much pressure! The next thing Frank knows he's hit with a gush of milky white soap. It's on his hands. It's all over his arm. Some is on his chest. And he even caught some splatter on his trademark glasses. Now Frank is no Senator. And he's no pop star either. But this doesn't look good. He's standing in a rather run down bathroom... in the Village... on St. Mark's Place... with a handful of liquid white soap that's spattered all over him.

One second later, the door opens and this Marilyn Manson lookalike walks in. Frank turns around and they just look at each other. Marilyn looks at his face. Then down at his hands. Then back to the face. Frank opens his mouth to say something.

Frank: Uh...

And with that, Marilyn looks straight down and continues past him to the urinals. Frank wipes the soap off himself the best he can -- which smelled deliciously like marzipan by the way! -- laughs in spite of himself, and goes out to take on Damien Bishop in singles...

SINGLES: 7 - 5

Frank vs. Damien. Pike wasn't there, so the Captain led off. He took the first when Bish couldn't get it going. In the second game the Captain cruised out to a nice lead with a Ton, T-25 back to back. But then busted on 76. And then he missed his 40 out next round. And then he missed his 20 out. And Damien, who had quietly been closing in, took it out in the 10th round. Larceny. But the Captain rallied in the final frame to hit the 9 rounds. So be it. 2-1 'Bags.

It was Vince vs. John Yale in the second set. Both men started out slowly. Breakfast, 41, Blackjack. Six rounds in and still in the 300s.

Frank (to Glenn): "Let's see who wants to win this one."

And as if on cue, Vince popped a Ton-32. He followed that with 85 more. And two rounds later he was gone. Nice darts. But John kicked it into gear in the 2nd leg. He hit a Ton, and soon followed that with a fat Ton-80 (to which he got a round of applause from both teams). Top notch. And the pair were tied. Both players shot well in the 3rd game, but it was John taking it in 8 rounds.

Gotta tip your cap. 3 -3

Cuppa Joe vs. Scott DePalma. Cuppa had been chomping at the bit every since last week. And he tore into it like a dog let off a leash. Joey Pep lived up to his (74th) nickname by peppering the 19s. He popped a 97 and 95 en route to a crisp W in game one taking out a D-7, first dart. In game 2, he peppered two more 95s, including his first turn. He turned a D-10 into a D-5. D-5s are the bane of many dart players, because it's such a short trip from D-5 to XX. But Cup is different than most players.

Glenn: "First dart, guy. Cup loves D-5."

True to form. First dart, spot on.

It was Scott, pulling out the final point in a comeback squeaker. Sharp darts from Cuppa. 382 ASPs and he hit his doubles first dart each time. 5-4 'Bags

Glenn vs. Jim Stratton. Piker isn't used to batting clean up. We usually like to lead him off. He responded with an unremarkable win in game 1. (10 rounds, I think). In game 2, Jim channeled his best darts. He popped a Ton and followed that with a Ton-34 to put himself on 20. Two darts later, he was gone. Just goes to show, no lead is safe in 501. But Glenn collected himself and came out gunning in round 3. He popped a number of 70/80-Somethings and T-33 en route to a 9 rounder. Two more for the 'Bags 7-5 headed to Cricket

CRICKET: 4-2

FrankenVince took on John and Tom Ryan in cricket. Both stumbled out of the gate. Frank remaned dreadful for most of the match. But Vince picked up the slack. It was the Hornet's nest closing out, popping 4 and 5 at a time and carrying the squad to a first game win. The Bags had a lead in game two. In game two, John started with 4 and Grassroots kept up the pressure, with John popping two R-6s. Frank was inconsistent and Vince's good darts were'nt enough this time. The 'Bags took it on the chin. The 'Bags went down early in the final frame but made a stand on 18s when Frank hit 5. Grassroots popped 20s to go back up in points. Vince also hit 2 18s to put the 'Bags up, and the Point War was on. We needed one 20 to close and we needed 3 19s. They were up in points but had only 1 mark on the 18s. Tom hit a 20. Then missed. He ask John what to do next. Point on 20s, would be the expected answers... but no.

John: "Just give me one 18."

Huh? "Gimme one." Why just one? Why not get the points while you can? It was of course a completely innocuous comment. (Or was it?) Regardless, it woke up Captain Furious who interpreted it as an unintended slight of his 18-hitting abilities. He channeled his bottomless well of rage and popped 4 18s and closed 20s. Vince promptly tripped the 19s. Frank followed with an R-7. And a couple rounds later they were gone. Frank. And Vince. At their best when they're p*ssed off. 9-6.

Glenn and Cup vs. Scott and Bish in Cricket. The 'Bags roared out of the gate. With Glenn and Cup each hitting 4 marks at a time on 20s and 19s. It was the 'Bags coasting to victory 4 marks a time with IYH Pike hitting a pair of single corks to seal it. Game two was more of the same. The 'Bags had everything closed and were up 60+ points with no bulls hit yet.

Glenn: "Guy...you can hit another 17 puts us up another bull....."

Cup: "Guy, I'm just gonna go right after it -"

Glenn: "- yeah guy."

First dart, double-bull. Second dart, double-bull. Overkill...but the message was clear. Game over, in inspired fashion. Game 3 would be remarkable.

The 'roots came out smoking in game 3, on the back of an R-5 from Scott and an R-7 from Damien; 7 x 18s. The Grassroots gang had closed out 20, 19, 18 and had a mark on 17, and were also up 40 points. Cuppaglenn on the other hand had nothing closed at all. Nada. They were in a hole as big as The Grand Canyon, having hit only a 19 and a 20.

But they didn't quit. In fact, they dug in deeper, and fought harder. Cup was fired up, looked at IYH and said "you can't count us out, guy...long game" (remember the 'bull-run'). Cool-hand-Pike simply stepped up and responded with 5 17s to put the 'Bags up in points. The trench was dug.

Cup followed with 5 16s of his own. Flight Risk responded by battering the 20s. The tide was beginning to turn, however. Cup closed 19s. The other team tried to point, but didn't hit as hard as they wanted to, and were only up a few. Cup got us up again, just enough to set up 'cool-hand'. The Guy nails a trip-20 first dart. Then he pumped two in the 18s for the close. It came down to bulls or pointing. Learning from game 2, Pike told Cup to ignore the 16s and just go for the win. (Just call him "Glenn Close"). Cup went single bull, single bull.. double bull (though he only needed one) to slam the door and take what had to be one of the best cricket comebacks in Dartbags history.

A-1 quality stuff. They needed it in that last game. BIG sweep.

12-6 'bags.

DOUBLE '01: 4-2

Team Anger, Vince and Frank, took on Jim and Tom in doubles. It was Vince with a quick on and solid darts all the way down. 8 Rounds later we had a W. Frank got them in in game 2, and the 'Bags again raced out to a big lead. They cruised to a second 2nd win. Game 3 was more of the same. This time both teams got in quickly and Flight Risk pulled out to a lead. But Frank popped back to back Tons, and the 'Bags regained the upper hand. Sitting on 40. Frank missed high, missed high and then - Bang! He turned and politely shook hand with the other team. It was only after he got to the board that John said to him...

John: It was high.

Sh*t. Caught the damn wire. Coulda sworn it was in, but yet it was a case of Premature Articulation. Embarrassing. The game would turn out to be nailbiter with both teams sitting on 20. Then Frank turned his 20 out, into a 14 out. (Ugh.) But when G'Roots missed their shot, Vince came up with the clutch D-7 on his 3rd dart to pull the fat out of the fire. Whew! A sweep fo the 'Bags. 15-6

Cup and Glenn played John and Scott for the final set of the evening. Cup announced his presence with authority in game one , by sticking a 107-On. Piker took it out and were up 16-6. But John (who shot great all night long) and Scott who played his best darts of the night were tough. Both sides got in quickly in game 2. It was Flight Risk pulling out a close one. In game 3, the play wasn't quite as crisp. The old ODC again, I think. John and Scott got out in 9 turns to take the final point and end a very good day on a (slightly) sour note.

FINAL SCORE: DARTBAGS - 16: FLIGHT RISK - 8

This was a nice win for the 'Bags. The last time we faced this crew it was in A-2 at our place. They crushed us. (John was kind enough to remind us of this fact as we said goodbye for the evening, "Oh, I remember your bar... in fact we beat you there last time.") Yes. Yes, you did. We remember too. It was quite embarrassing. Of course, they had Omer at the time. Which helps. But we will look forward to seeing them on the Upper West later on and returning the hospitality that Jim (owner of Grassroots) was gracious enough to provide for us.

In the meantime, we'll see if this win is enough to boost the 'Bags to first place.

The streak is at 13 matches now. All the guys went at least 6/9. Kudos.

All Star Recap:

Frank - 785 (remains en fuego)
Cup - 587 (add a double-fisted-wall-punch...ouch)
Pike -377 (cool-hand-pike, surgical in cricket)
Vince -132 (inspired darts from the hornet's nest)

DARTBAG ADIRONDACK TRAINING CAMP

While most of New York was barbequing or hitting the beach this Labor Day, The Dartbags (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC TM) were up in the mountains, training hard at their Adirondack retreat. On hand were Captain Furious, The Hornet's Nest, IYH Pike, Gins, The Microwave and friend of the Dartbags, Michael "Bart" Bartolone.

The training was intense. But so was the fun, and we had many adventures. Below is a little photo diary of our weekend.

DART TRAINING: Bugsy Seigel had a vision of a casino in the desert. Vince had a vision of a dartboard on a tree. If you can dodge a wrench... you can dodge a ball. And if you can play Adirondack Tree Darts in the rain (which we did) then you can withstand all manner of distractions at New York Pubs. Take your best shot, Bad Open Mic Guy! Do your worst, Annoying Waiting For the Bathroom Guy! Bring it on, Drunk Chick Who Digs Glenn! The Dartbags will be focused like Shaolin Monks. We shall not be moved.

Adirondack Tree Darts (Vince and Frank pictured)

The Captain Fires a Shot

Vince's Trademark "Hornet's Nest" Followthrough

Piker Puts One "In Yer Hole"

DRINKING: Players swing heavy bats in the on deck circle so that their regular bats seems lighter when they get to the plate. That's the reason we hold Training Camp in the mountains. Science teaches us that drinking at high altitudes gets you drunk faster. (It's true.) And what better way for each 'Bag to work on flattening his ODC (Optimal Drinking Curve) than hoisting frosty beverages at 3000 feet? After consuming many cases of LaBatt's at our alpine cabin, we should be able to hold our liquor at sea level like champs. Look for a lot of strong closes and increased effectiveness in Double '01 this season from the 'Bags.

Vince Enjoys a Cold One, While Bart Reads The Racing Form, Gins On Grill

FOOD: Proper nutrition is important. But why bring food to the mountains, when the bounty of the Adirondacks is so plentiful? The Dartbags, armed only with their 22 oz. to- 25 oz. darts formed hunting parties and took to the forest. "Time to shoot me some dinner!", Pike said as we headed out into the night. We bagged two woodchuck, and Colin speared a delicious bass. And with Ginsberg marinating the critters in Peter Luger Sauce and an Italian/Worcestershire Mix... All I can say is "You cook a pretty good woodchuck, pilgrim!"

Delicious Woodchuck Meat (or if you prefer, "Groundhog a la Gins")

Gins Grilling Woodchuck Sausage

COMPETITION: We met a group of local toughs called the Riverbottom Nightmare Band at the Rustic Inn. Their leader, Chuck, said the bar wasn't big enough for the both of us and challenged us to game of darts to see who would leave. It was a good battle, but the Dartbags prevailed. And Mrs. Otter even baked us an apple pie to say thanks of ridding them of those "Riverbottom Hooligans". Hooray!

Riverbottom Nightmare Band, (Chuck pictured in middle)

RELAXING: After a long day of "2-a-Day" Tree Darts, Gopher Hunting, and High Altitude Beer Consumption, it's time to relax on the porch. The 'Bags chill out with some (more) beers, cigars and a game of poker. (From Left to Right, Vince, Bart, Colin, Glenn, Gins).

WILDLIFE: The Adirondacks are a wild place with many exotic (and tasty!) creatures roaming the woods. Black bears, the wiley muskrat, and the famed Deaf Mute Coyotes of Lake George. If you look closely at the picture below you might be able to make one out in the distance between the two trees.

Deaf Mute Coyote

But you probably can't, because the "DMC's" are invisible save only under a full moon. (And no, we weren't stoned. The Cabin is a drug-free zone. I'm telling you, the coyotes were there, man.)

Training Camp was a big success and the Dartbags will be primed and ready for a big season. (Look for the Good Guys of George Keeley to gun their way to a Subdivision title in A-3.) You can keep track of all their exploits right here at dartbags.blogspot.com

See you soon.

-Captain Furious

SPECIAL WRITE UP: THE A PLAYOFFS AND THE WISDOM OF THE CUP

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 7 - 11 - 07

(NOTE: I apologize for the tardiness of the write up. I'm like you. I also like to go to blogs and see the latest posts. When they aren't up, it is irksome. So I'm with you. The first part contains a more generic write up. The summation at the end is courtesy of Cuppa Joe. His words, his picture. Back to darts...)

THE LEAD IN:

For four weeks they labored in frustration. They were drubbed in the first week 9-15. They produced a lacklustre effort in the second week. The third week, they were ignominiously thrashed in their home building 6-18. Who were these men? Certainly not the Dartbags (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC -TM). We were struggling like Paris Hilton taking an SAT. We even tried to have an organized practice, but ended up wasting more energy than Ricky Martin's girlfriend.

Nothing worked. It was a bummer.

But midway through week 4. Something happened at O'Flaherty's: We all got hangovers.

O'Flaherty's draught beers are famous for giving you hangovers, not the next day, but as you drink them. The effect of this strange brew was to change our chemistry. I mean that literally and figuratively. The fermented hops (w/ secret ingredient) altered the dopamine receptors inside our brains, inebriating us and inducing painful throbbing around the temples. But more than that, it changed the chemistry inside our team. As if a switch were flicked, we started to play better. And (not surprisingly) we began to have more fun.

We went on to win the night and we never looked back. We were undefeated the rest of the season. It took 28 days, but we were born again.

Amazingly, The Dartbags Spring 2007 incubation was exactly the average gestation period of our old friend, Ondatra Zibethicus. How's that for irony??

(CAPTAIN'S NOTE: It is, in fact, highly ironic. I know. I grew up on a river. I dealt with these furry and noble creatures on a regular and on-going basis. If you grew up on a river you would appreciate the irony and have a good chortle. Trust me. The muskrat analogy works. Works big time.)

With 5 weeks to go we got an additional infusion of chemistry (and firepower). Cuppa Joe returned from his island retreat in Florida to rejoin the squad. By the end of the year we were the best team in A-3. We could not overcome our fetal muskrat stage (few can, with the exception of the muskrat) and managed only a 3rd place finish. The hardware will have to wait. But we did accomplish a milestone - we made the A League playoffs.

Not bad for the little dart team originally known for having bar tabs that exceeded their All Star Points.

But we would face a major challenge. We would play Son of Leifer, the team we called "6 Grenades" because the depth of the team made it impossible to sacrifice a game (dive on a grenade) in hopes of preserving a better matchup. In fact, this was the same team that defeated us (gulp) 22-2 in our old building during our first season in A. It was a humbling experience.

Actually, no it wasn't.

We were already humble. What it was, was just plain embarrassing. But the squad had progressed. Things were gonna be different this time.

Cup was particularly fired up.

Cup: No more shines, Billy.

Craig: What?

Cup: I said no more shines, Billy. Maybe you didn't hear it, you've been away a long time...

Craig (pause): My name is Craig... what are you talk-

Cup: We don't shine shoes anymore!!!!

Craig: Okay, okay!... geez.

THE A LEAGUE PLAYOFFS:

SINGLES: 3-9

It was a great crowd at the Jeek. We had all our full contingent of players. Also on hand were retired Dartbags, Lou and Marty. Always great to see those guys. Many Dartbaguettes were there as well including Jessie, Nell -- there was even a rare Lillian sighting. It was going to be a fun night. And a lot of the reason why was the team we were playing, the aforementioned Son of Leifer, descendents of the house of Focker. This is a good bunch whom we remember from seasons past. In some ways guys on this team have been unofficial mentors to Dartbags (Craig and Julio come to mind), teaching us the game offering us encouragement going back to when were lowly (but ambitious) C League players. They were yukking it up so much pre-game that Frank jokingly admonished them, "Hey, guys... Cheer up".

Craig: Yeah, we haven't laughed like this for a while.

Mark: This used to be us every week.

The Playoffs: They make everyone a little giddy.

We started out by putting our best foot forward. Our best foot is named Glenn Pike. He faced Mark Patrick.

Folks, this was an A-1 match. Mark would put up an all star round (including a Ton-71), Pike would answer with a big round in return. Example: In game 1 after a hot streak by Mark opened a big lead, Glenn's raced down from 180 in two rounds and just missed a D-20 that would have stolen the first point of the evening. Not to be. Mark went out in 7 rounds, 8 rounds, 7 rounds - the last one a 20 darter - and maybe most importantly, he hit the Double first dart every time. Not much you can do but tip your cap. It was weird. We got swept, but it actually made us feel proud, because even though Mark was the better man, Glenn demonstrated that we belonged in this match and that we can compete with anybody. Great stuff from Glenn. Just ran into a British buzzsaw. 0-3 Son of Leifer.

With that mindset, Frank took on Ed Wilson in set 2. Frank got out of the gate at a gallop if not a sprint, hitting anything from 45 to 85+s and actually opened a decent lead. After Frank busted on a 78 (Note to Self: When on 78 throw 20 first THEN 18, not 18 first then 20 - there is no 2nd dart bust that way). It would be Eddie taking out D-8 to win the first match. But the Captain (fueled by his bottomless pit of rage) would recover with a respectable 26 darter to take out leg 2. The last leg provided some double out problems for both players, but Frank hit his XX first to take 2 out of 3. Fact is Ed didn't have his best game with him. (We've seen that game, it's nasty and it doesn't look like this). But if you're going to win, you're going to need breaks. We'll take it. 2-4. Son of Leifer.

Next it was Vince against Tom Kovach. Tom is capable of monster games (see his ridiculous 1722 ASPs to take the award for most points in a night this season). But Vince thrives on challenges and probably responds to getting smacked with more vigor than any other 'Bag. That's why he is The Hornet's Nest. It would be an interesting match. The darts, however, were less than stellar. Both players let the other stick around had each had a chance at game 1. But Tom hit it first. Vince was right with him in game 2, but it was not to be. In the final leg,"TKO" Kovach revved it up and was gone in 7 rounds. 2-7, Son of Leifer.

Cuppa Joe took on Julio Andrade in the final set. Julio is another player with a storied NYDO history. In fact he won the singles championship last year. But Cup has thrown many a dart with Julio down at The Edge. And Cup loves a challenge as much anyone. In the first game it was Cup "funneling" around the T-19, but maddeningly just missing the mark. (A cornucopia of T-3s). Julio took game 1. But Cup responded in game 2, taking out a 9 rounder with a D-4 to draw blood. Julio heated up in the final frame, however, smacking Ton-somethings. No stopping him this time. 3-9 Son of Leifer

CRICKET: 2-4

The 'Bags were hurting. So we decided to put our best foot forward again. (And Frank too.) Pike and Frank would take on old friends, Carlos Santiago and Craig Nobbs. In game 1, the Leifers fired out of the gate, five 20s from 'Los. Frank would respond with 2 19s. And that summed up the game. Son of Leifer just ran us off the board. Been a while since we gotten our butts kicked likt that. But in set two Pike would get it rolling with 5 19s and Frank closed the 20s. The 'Bags made good use of an open 19, tripping it when they needed points. The Good Guys of George Keeley, mainly on the back of Glenn (R-6, R-5, etc), pulled away and won the second game handily. The final set was a dog fight. The 'Bags raced out to a lead, but Carlos and Craig made a stand on bullseyes and just hammered them. Three at a time. Two at a time. Four at a time. Round after round of big darts saw the 'Bags lead evaporate. But it seemed like Pike had an answer each time, hitting a triple every round. (If there were a bright spot on the evening, it was that Glenn had regained his MVP form when we needed him most, and threw the riducudarts which had established him as an A-1 caliber shot.) It came down to a 2-2 bullseye contest and Frank finally hit a double to seal the game and take 2 out of 3. Whew! 5-10 Son of Leifer.

It was Vince and Cup taking on Julio and Mark, a very tall task. Julio and Mark are about as formidable a pairing as the NYDO produces. Vince and Cup were game. Solid darts (3 and 4 at a time) actually had pushed the 'Bags out to a lead in game 1. But the thing that becomes so clear when you play these top teams is that the margin for error is zero. It only took one missed closed, one missed triple to turn the game around. Julio and Mark would respond with a round of 6 (+/- 1) and before we knew it they had stolen a game. In the next 2 games it was more of the same. Julio and Mark dropping bombs. Vince and Cup battled and both had big rounds. Cup nailed 3 big bullseyes. Vince dropped an R-7. But the 'Bags couldn't land the deathblow and dropped the final two. 5-13

And that was that. The night was over after cricket.

FINAL: SON OF LIEFER: 13 - DARTBAGS: 5

So we got our first taste of A playoffs against a class A-1 opponent. We didn't play well. Which isn't to say we played terribly. But with the exception of Pike's hero darts, everyone else would rate their performance as average or worse. But, by the same token, Son of Leifer wasn't sharp. Cuppa Joe had a sage insight. He said that we could have easily be down 10-8 after cricket, but that they probably think they could have won 13-1.

Both opinions are correct.

That's why there are no woulda-coulda-shouldas in darts. There is no luck. You are what your record says you are. Tonight we were an A-3 team playing a class A-1 team. We need to play better if we want a big result. The good thing about playing the Leifers is that they're good company. You know when you play them you're going to have a challenge, a lot of laughs, a copious number of beers and an above average number of (manly) hugs. At the end of the night we all celebrated together toasting to both teams with a shot of Jamesons. Good stuff.

So we tip our collective cap to them and hope next time we give them a better fight.

So that was our season. All in all, a good one.

Every team member had a win % of at least 40% (that's never happened in A before).

Cup, Frank and Vince all set personal ASP highs.

Pike won 60% of his singles games... with a broken thumb.

Tim set a high out record.

Ginsberg actually won a set of singles.

Colin produced a winning record in cricket.

Next for the 'Bags is Steak Night, when we dine on the flesh of the world's tastiest mammals. It is the most venerable of Dartbag traditions (below is a list of the previous sites of steak night, with Frank's rating of each). This time we've decided to shake it up and go barbeque instead of pure steak. And, thanks to Farty's suggestion, we're doing it on 9/11 this year. (Our humble little way of saying f*ck you to the terrorists.)

Strip House - 5 Stars
Keen's - 4 Stars
Old Homestead - 3 Stars
Wolfgang's - ZERO Stars. Do NOT go to Wolfgang's. WORST SERVICE EVER.
Dylan Prime - 5 Stars
Del Frisco's - 4 Stars
Peter Luger - 5 Stars
Dinosaur BBQ - ? Stars

Congrats on the season, everyone. And thank you to those who came out to share in the fun and cheer for us. It wouldn't be the same without you.

See you in September. But I'm going to leave the final word to Cuppa Joe.

SUMMATION/ CUP-DATE (From Cuppa Joe):

At the end of the night, Jessie found a paper cup, sitting on the table of honor, alone, after all the smoke cleared, and everyone had left.

It was from starbucks, ironically, an empty cuppa joe.

Written on it are the following words:

"If I have given my all, and still do not win, I haven't lost. Others might remember winning or losing. I remember the journey."

- Apolo Anton Ohno, Five-time Olympic Medalist

And I guess, after all the darts have been thrown, this is why we did this in the first place.

(Well said, Guy.)