WRITE UP #6: SEEMS LIKE OLD TIMES

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 4 - 24 - 06

It was a good crowd at the GeKe (patent pending) for the Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Team in NYC (TM). All 7 'Bags were present along with much of their crew (Gins, Nellie, Jane, Gemma, Hopi, Jess, etc). A fine showing. Even Marty, who had arrived just a couple of hours earlier from England, (where he had spent the the past 6 nights testing his liver) answered the call of the hops. (They don't call us the "Most Drinkin'est" for nothing, folks.)

The night had a familiar feel and it felt like old times. The 'Bags were hosting Who Darted?, the team directly in front of us in the standings. Nobody wants to be standing downwind from a team named, "Who Darted?". We had to make our move tonight. It would be no easy task. Who Darted? is virtually the exact team as Da Brew Crew whom the 'Bags barely beat out to take their B subdivision in S of '05. When these two meet, the games are always close and always interesting.

Glenn led off against classic rival, Katz. These two did battle in B league two seasons ago and produced some of the most memorable matches of the year. In this one, Katz took match #1 in a close contest. Glenn, looking more and more like his old self, rebounded by smacking the 19s en route to an equalizer. In game 3 Katz raced down and nearly took out 112, but Glenn responded with steady darts and got himself down within striking distance. With both sitting on doubles, Katz hit his double first. 1-2

Frank squared off against Andre, another classic Dartbag rival from B. The captain started out hot and outpaced Dre for a cruise control victory. In round 2, Frank lost his mojo and Dre had the hot hand, but let the Cap stick around just long enough to commit petty larceny with a 68 out. In round 3, Dre was still sharp, and when Frank missed his double corker, Dre made sure he didn't get another chance. Even up 3-3.

Vincenzo took on Rob Evans (not to be confused with Bob Evans, Sausage King and purveyor of wholesome family fare.) Rob won a tight one in game one. Vince responded by throwing his patented "angry darts" and took the sequel in flurry. In the rubber match, Rob had his stroke down peppering the 20s and Vince didn't get the chance to double out, 4-5.

At this point, Colin showed up and sat down at the 'Bag table. Mystery food of the day is...

Colin: Stuffed grape leaves! All vegetable. No meat. Want some?

Uh, no thanks, guy.

After consuming his Greek food, Colin pulled up the sleeves on his blazer to reveal -- super cool dartboard cuff links!

Glenn: Nice, guy!

Tim: Those are great! Where did you...

(Line of the Night) TM

Colin: Rachel got them for me. They took her forever to find... (pause)... There are no more houses available in Tuscany. So, uh, don't bother looking...

Well, Maestro. There are. And I did. Take that!

But enough of fashion and Mediterranean food. Back to darts.

Cup went heads up against Doug in the final set. Cup has been our most consistent player this year and tonight was no exception. Cup didn't smack the 19s for monster rounds, like he usually does, but his rounds were solid. He took the first. Doug threw some monster darts in the second set and walked away with the equalizer. Doug was still hot in game 3, but Cup kept him within view the whole way. And when the time came for a clutch dart, he was ready, smacking a double 10 to take bring the 'Bags even in the contest. All knotted up 6-6.

Then we played cricket. We've been struggling with cricket all year, but in this first set no one could blame us for losing. Cup and Glenn were good, but Katz was en fuego. 640 ASPs? 5 rounds of R-6 or better? And who knows how many 4s and 5s. Some of the sickest darts we've seen in a long time. He and Rob T. cruised to two impressive wins, before the good guys got on track enough to take the last one and stem the bleeding.

Glenn: I don't know how we won one.

I do. Some clutch closes, Pike smacking the 18s relentlessly and Cup hitting bulls 2 and 3 at a time. Overall, we played well, but you have to tip your cap to Mark and Rob T.

The second set of cricket featured Vince and BFT against Rob E and Doug D. The first match is a game that will live in infamy - a dartathon. A quick starts by the 'Bags opened up a nice lead. But the Who Darteds? responded with a bullseye run. And a big lead began to disspiate. It became a point war of attrition -- bullseyes for them, 17s and 18s for us. And nobody would give in.

I got bored. So I actually left the bar, walked to Champagne Video on 79th, rented the Director's Cut version of Return of the King, watched it in its entirety (even rewinding the awesome "Siege of Minas Tirith" scene when Theoden answers the Beacon of Amon Din and leads the charge of the Rohirrim into Sauron's infantry), came back and they were STILL aiming for the F*CKING bulls and we were STILL aiming at F*CKING 17s. Finally the 17s were closed and it became a bullseye war, but there was a problem... no one could hit one.

Whoever hit one first would win, but no one could. Maybe people were just exhausted from throwing 478 darts already. Maybe Seamus the Invisible Leprechaun who sits above the board and comes out when we drink Ithaca Double IPA was back and deflecting all darts to the left and right (as he has been known to do). But I suspect it was more than that. I believe it was a practical joke played on us by the Dart Gods. I mean, even the darts that were on target didn't count. Example?

Doug hit a bullseye, giving them the point lead. Then he hit an important 17... but in the process of hitting the 17, the would-be game winner magically dislodges from the cork and clatters to the floor. Unbelievable.

Finally after 15+ darts failed to hit the winner, Tim sunk his 3rd dart in the cork to pull out the victory, eliciting a gigantic cheer from the Dartbag Faithful. Dartbags: 631; Who Darted? 627. Easily the most bizarre cricket match of the year.

Then we lost our mojo and dropped the next two.

Friggin' cricket, man. 8-10

Glenn and Frank teamed up for the Double '01. We needed a strong showing if we were to pull even. Rob T started with a Ton On. Ouch. Mark followed with an 85. Ouch again. But Pike got things started with a 76 On and we were in business. A furious charge came up short and we dropped game 1. The second game was another story, the sort of crisp, clinical match that has been in short supply this season. Glenn started with a Ton-14 on. He would follow that with 95 more. Frank checked in with a Ton-30 to put us on 32, and sank a D-8 for the W. 22 darts and a runaway. That's more like it. But double in problems put the 'Bags up against the wall in the final match. Yeoman's work by Glenn (another nice on DS-72) wasn't enough to make up the difference. 9-12.

Vince and Cup played Rob E and Andre in the final set of the night. Details are fuzzy on this one. But Vince and Cup took the first match, dropped the second, and Cup sank a clutch double 7 to win a nail-biter and take a much needed point. It was another case where the 'Bags didn't light up the all star scoreboard, but got the big darts to close out matches (which is a trade any of us would take any day). So thanks to their effort we walked away with 11-13.

Was it pretty? Not exactly. But the way things have gone for us this season, we'll take it. The difference was we ran into a cricket buzz saw. But basically we played a good team to what is essentially a standstill. Yes, there's room for improvement. We haven't played our best darts yet, but there are reasons for hope. Glenn's injury continues to heal and he is looking more like his old self. Cup kept up his consistently strong performance. Overall, it was a solid effort and one we can look to build off of.

In addition, it was just an overall good night. One of those "What dart night should be" nights. We had a good crowd. We stayed late. We made progress in the Beer Club. We played legs (Andre won). The other team was cool and fun to play, so we had a lot of laughs along the way.

Next week we play at Collins Bar against The Taint. (Yes, I said "The Taint". That's the name of their team.) This is a foe we haven't seen yet. Should be interesting. We'll look to see you there.

All Stars:

Pike: 629, Frank: 445, Cup: 190, Vince: 100

WRITE UP # 5: OUCH

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 4 - 17 - 06

It had been a long lay off for the Dartbags (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Team in NYC TM) and maybe the rust was still there. Or maybe the lads just hadn't completely sobered up from their epic quest to Galway the week before to celebrate Vince's pending nuptials. The 'Bags even brought their arrows to Ireland in hopes of throwing a few with the locals, but never got the chance. Apparently you're about as likely to find a dartboard in a Galway pub as you are a mechanical bull.

Who knew.

Back in the USA with their livers relatively in tact, the 'Bags headed to familiar ground, Gaf East to face MYOB. The Gaf is a terrific bar with friendly people, but a virtual house of horrors for the 'Bags. (Have we EVER won there? Doesn't feel like it.)

With Nellie and Gins there for support, and all 'Bags present and accounted for except Farty, (who was in England where presumably you can find a dartboard) the 'Bags began their weekly quest for a darting victory and a tasty buzz.

For a change of pace the 'Bags started off the evening with a nice Cuppa Joe. Cup would face off against 'Bag nemesis, Carlos. It was a rather listless start, with neither player quite on top of his game. The first two were close with Carlos doubling out first. In the last frame Cup found his game and pulled out the W, putting the Good Guys on the board. 1-2

Frank then squared off against Andre. The Captain was hot, racking up 581 ASPs, but with Duran Duran's "Wild Boys" blaring from the juke box, Frank could not hit the crucial last dart. Missing your outs is painful enough, you don't need Simon LeBon mocking you the whole time ("Wild boooooys, never looooose iiiit!"). That's just insult to injury. But such was his fate and he let two slip away. However, in match 3, to the much more appropriate strains of Pat Benatar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" he was able to salvage the final point. (Thank you, Pat.) 2-4

The 'Bags sent BLT against Suzana for round 3. (NOTE: Big Friendly Tim has been redubbed "Big Lucky Tim" for one week to honor his Irish trip). Tim did not bring extra flights and, as is the punishment for such a crime, was given sissy flights as his replacement (in this case a rainbow pattern with little bubbles on it). Unfazed, BLT got in a nice triple groove, smacking 79s to 83s. Perhaps Ireland did him some good. Normally possesed by a silent intensity, Tim seemed unusually relaxed and comfortable, even commenting during the match on his fruity flights by breaking out his much celebrated "Christopher Walken Doing a Starburst Commercial" bit. ("Taste... the RAINbow of flavas... lime, lemon... grape!")

Line of the Night

Cup: He looks as confident as Mike Ginsberg in front of a bottle of Tequila.

Truer words have never been spoken. As if on cue, Tim popped a 95.

After taking 2, he began to flag in the final frame. On 70 with a do-or-die turn, Tim aimed T-10 and caught a 6. With the Captain's advice he aimed for the T-8/T-16 wedge to land on an out, but hit a D-16 instead. (Hey, even better!) He steadied himself, did the BLT "Triple Pump" (TM) and sank a second dart in D-16 for the win. 5-4

Way to go Rainbow Warrior!

In the final singles round, the 'Bags sent Vince out against Greg. Vince was slow out of the gate, and dropped the first match. 5-5. But in the second match, Vince started to look like his old self. He won a squeaker. In the third match, 'Cenzo was up to cruising altitude and walked away with a sound victory. And what started as a 2-4, clunker was now a 7-5 advantage.

Cricket has been giving us trouble all year. Tonight was no exception. Playing the hot hand, the 'Bags sent out Vince with Glenn seeking to put a strong foot forward. It didn't work. Some valiant darts by Vince, but the 'Bags dropped 2 of 3 to Carlos and Sue. 8-7

FrankenTim went up against Andre and Jackie in the in the final cricket match. Jackie was relentless. Three every time at least. The 'Bags let the first one slip, took the second, while losing a frustrating rubber match to make the score an even 9-9.

On to doubles. Frank and Colin "The Microwave" O'Donnell (seeing his first action of the season) went up against the women- Jackie and Sue. Colin had previously enjoyed a delicious burrito from "Taco Taco" and consumed a large serving of baklavah. With his pre-game ritual complete, big things were expected. A quick double in by Frank quickly gave way to some stellar darts by the ladies. Jackie was still relentless. They dropped the first. In game 2 Colin got the good guys on the board. A late 94 put the 'Bags on 52 with the lady Gaffers poised to go out on double top. Colin stepped to the line. First dart - fat 20. (Nice.). Second dart... high of the mark D-8. Colin chuckled, threw up his hands (as he is wont to do) and stepped back from the line.

By this point, the dart enthusiasts in the bar sensed a change in the air. The other league game stopped, and directed their attention to the back board. There were murmurs in the crowd... and that's when it began... the slow, rhythmic chant; "Rus-tee... Rus-tee... Rus-tee..."

And lo! O'Donnell held Ol' Rusty aloft in the dim Gaf light! Ol' Rusty! Enchanted arrow! Bane of Fockers and Smiter of Gaffers!! And verily, the crowd released a collective gasp! O'Donnell spoke aloud addressing his dart, "Once more into the breach dear friend. Go then... and seek your brother!!" And with a mighty crosshanded swipe, he let fly. Ol' Rusty twisted through the air and in blur of flickering brass, struck the second dart - holding fast below it in the D-8! Colin pumped his fist in jubiliation; "Victory is ours! A pint of Brooklyn for all my Dartbag friends!" And there was much rejoicing.

Then we lost the last match. 10-11.

In the final set, Carlos refused to miss the triple 20 under any circumstances. He went in on a ton and was en fuego the entire time. Cup'nVince shot okay. But it wasn't enough. Superb darts. Gotta tip your cap to the man. Three more points for the Gaffers and the final score was 10-14.

At the end of the evening, Brian the bartender informed me that the bill had been taken care of by Vince, who left silently (though not without singeing the curtains as he brushed past them on the way out.) Brian wanted to inform me that there seemed to be a reaction to the bill and seeked to clarify that we had not been overcharged. Inquiring about it the next morning, I received this response.

"What Brian was picking up on was rage. Pure, unadulterated rage."

Yep. That pretty much sums up the night. Another wall-puncher of a night. It's been a rough go so far this year. We have simply not played up to our standards. But there are a lot of darts left. We're not even half way through the season and there is be plenty of time for redemption... and revenge. Frustration aside, it was a fun evening that provided some moments for the highlight reel. Let's do it again on Monday. We are back at the Friendly Confines against Who Darted?, a familiar foe and a good bunch of guys. Let's dial back the beer intake from 8 pints to 6, bring the arrows, and seek to get on the right path.

Thanks to all the Gaffers (Sybil, Brian, Tom, Steve, Jason, et al.) for their hospitality and for being good sports.

That is all.

-Capt. Furious

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Props:

BLT and Colin for some clutch finishes.

All Stars:

Frank: 701
Vince: 338
Cup: 190
BLT: 95