Friday, December 08, 2006

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #11: A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 12 - 4 - 06 -- (Sorry about the Lateness)

We were back at the Friendly Confines in week 11 to face our "The Evil Twins", Collateral Damage. (This is also the same bunch who have been ruling the Hoboken Dart Players Association across the river.) Unfortunately, The Dart Gods were not with us and the Good Guys of GK suffered their worst defeat of the season.

Cup was off on his own island (not a metaphor) and Glenn, the pugilist, had lost another round to Thumonculus at the gym. Neither would make the scene. Thus, Dartbag line up had a sort of "new old" look to it with veterans Colin "The Microwave" O'Donnell and Marty "Farticus" Yoo seeing action. Gemma would also make it, bringing our total to the Table of Honor to 6 for the evening.

Rather than ease Colin back into the pool, we decided to go with the "jumping in the deep end approach" and put him up against the other team's Captain, Bryan N. Colin, who was uncertain if would play, did not bring his darts to work that day. But he would bring THE DART... and we're glad he did. (Note: This is what my 9th grade English Teacher, Mr. Douglass calls "foreshadowing"). Seeing his first action, The Microwave turned in a solid effort. He dropped the first match, but his darts began to improve. He collected a 99 along the way. In games 2 and 3, C.O.D gave himself a chance to win with a 3 darts at a D-10. But Brian cleaned up before Colin could land the decisive blow. 0-3 after the first set.

Next up was Captain Furious for Brian K. The Captain was on his game and delivered a crisp effort to take game number 1. Game two belonged to Brian who started to heat up Frank made a game of it when Frank's D-bull shot on a 129 just missed. But you have to make every dart count against players like that. Brian immediately cashed out on the next turn to even the score. In the final game, it was Frank who began to heat up. Sitting on 111, the Captain decided to call his shot.

Frank: I'm going out 19, trip 20, D-32 on this turn.

Tim: Do it.


He proceeded to hit 19, Trip-20, D-32 to take a 9 rounder with his high out for the season. 2-4

(Note: The Captain is now 2 for 37 when calling his shot this year.)

Big Friendly Tim went up against the Mark C. in the third set. Tim shot well, racking up 310 ASPs along the way, but the Welshman was up to the task. Mark was right on his doubles, either nailing them, or setting off sparks by clipping the wires. Sometimes you just have to tip your cap. Sweep for Collateral Damage 2-7

Last up was Vincenzo vs. Kurt. Vince has been our best singles player all year. He would need a big effort this time against Kurt, who took 3 off us last time including a nasty 21 darter. He was sharp once again. 60s, 80s, an Ts. Vince dropped the first two. The final match was a choppy one with both players getting their chances to end it. Vince wouldn't be denied this time, and gutted out a W by nailing a D-4 to take a much needed point. 3-9.

On to Cricket. Vince and Tim played Mark and Rob. They too would take the first point in convincing fashion. Vince was Vince and Tim was en fuego, hitting 4 and 5 at a turn and seeming hitting a Triple 19 everytime he went for a point dart. They dropped the sequel game. It looked like they were on their way to Victory in the 3rd game, but Collateral went to the Cork and started battling back. They were relentless hitting 2 or 3 at a time. Tim's hero darts were not enough, and the good guys -- who came within a single 15 of victory -- finally lost theDart re-enactment of "The 100 Years War." (500 something to 500 something). A bitter defeat. 4-11

Frank and Colin faced off against Bryan and Brian. Colin hit 3 20s and the Captain followed with an R-5. And the good guys built up a lead. But Collateral Damage climbed back into it, and were pounding the wide open 16s to pull even. We needed to close those 16s.

Colin's stepped to the oche. His first dart landed south in the fat part of the 7. His second dart landed just north of the 16, a half inch Section 8. Now we would need a triple 16 to close the door and stop the comeback. Colin stepped to the line drew a deep breath... and then stopped. He took a step back.

Colin: "I said I'd only do this in case of an emergency." Then he nodded toward the board, "And this looks like an emergency."

And with that, he walked over to his attache' case, and removed a small golden box which he set on the Table of Honor. He then produced a golden key from a chain around his neck. He turned the key and opened the box. It contained a small velvet pouch. He loosened the draw string and poured contents into his hand. It was... Ol' Rusty.

Yes! Ol' Rusty! Enchanted bar dart that was orphaned more than 20 years ago, only to be revealed to Colin when his 3rd Piranha dart rolled irretrievably behind the radiator. For years it lay in wait, wanting to be found (much like the One Ring). Imbued with magical properties, when wielded by Colin, Ol' Rusty gains a +5 To Hit and Damage Bonus and increases his Deterexity +3, and Charisma +10!

Frank was unsure of this bold move.

Frank: But, you only use Ol' Rusty when you use with your Piranhas! Ol' Rusty has never shared the board with Widows before... you don't know WHAT could happen!

Colin: We're just gonna have to find out.


He leaned forward and was heard to say...

No time for pleasantries, old friend. The game's afoot! And I would not wake you from your slumber if not for dire need! The team is in grave peril, from which only you can bring us deliverance. Heed not your your strange brethren, they have served nobly. We may yet win the day, if you can mark the 16, not once, nor twice... but thrice! And now... God speed you!

With a mighty crosshanded swipe, Colin lofted Ol' Rusty... um, aloft. It soared majestically before diving like a Peregrine Falcon toward its prey. It's swooped down upon the the Triple 16, its beak sinking deep into triple's heart. A perfect shot! And the Dartbags reveled in their good fortune!

Dartbags: Hooray!

From there it was academic, and after a few give and take rounds, the 'Bags capped it off with a Double Bull winner to take the point. Ol' Rusty, its job done, was placed back into the pouch and retired for the evening.

(Hey, I have to write about Ol' Rusty. It's fun, and there haven't been as many chances to do so this year. Plus, there wouldn't be much else to write about that night. Things would get worse... quickly.)

Frank and Colin got run off the board in game 2. They made it close in the last leg, but couldn't hit the bullseyes necessary to complete the comeback. 5-13

On to Double 01. Frank and Marty squared off against Rob and Mark. This marked Marty's first action of the year and, like Colin before him, quickly got himself up to speed. Rob hit double top with first dart and Collateral Damage was off. Unfortunately, it took a little bit of time for Frank and Farty couldn't find their way onto the dance floor. It called to mind that metal football game where one of the vibrating players wanders into the corner and gets stuck, unable to join the other players on the field. Farty finally (thankfully) got us in with 35. By then we were down 400 points. Frank followed that effort by A-Rodding a Ton-80. (Note: The verb, "A-Rodding" comes from Alex Rodriquez's proclivity to hit stat-padding homers in the late innings of games either that are either well in hand, or essentially out of reach.) The other team was out two rounds later. Marty's heroics -- another in, a 92, multiple rounds of 79+ -- were not enough. We would drop the second game as well. The third game was close... but Rob and Mark would not falter and the sweep was complete. 5-16 (Eeeeeew.)

Kurt and Brian were on their game in the final set, and Vince and Tim could not stop the bleeding. Outgunned again, we dropped the final 3 to end on an 8-game skid.

It all added up to a 19-5 drubbing, the worst we've had in years. It was an ass-whooping. What can you do? Not much you can do except enjoy the company, vow to get revenge next week and make sure you get your 4 servings of health-preserving alcohol (and then some). Plus it was good to see Colin and Marty in action and acquitting themselves well.

Gotta tip your cap to Collateral Damage. They shot well and were fun to play with. It's a lot more tolerable getting your butt kicked by nice, friendly people than by jerks. We'll look forward to seeing them down the road. Hopefully, with better results.

All Star Recap:

Frank: 486
BFT: 305
Colin: 99
Vince: 95

It's GO TIME!: Part 2 - Death is a Fickle Mistress

Part 1: Streets of Fury

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvY6MXZO1hA

Part 2: Death is a Fickle Mistress

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z19aseehUGU

Follow the exploits of New York's Finest at McQuaidbrothers.com

(feel free to forward and rate highly while you're at it).