Addendum...
Please read the Captain's Log, Dartdate 10-20-08, first...below this addendum.
By Cuppa Joe Gasparino
I have no choice but to add this short addendum. I'm not actually in total control of my actions right now.
It was a long night, forgive me FURIOUS.
1) Ed Lewis played the most retarded cricket I've ever seen. "Retarded" meaning ridicu-darts, not subaverage cognitive functioning.
2) FURIOUS neglected to use one of the greatest tandem nicknames in darts history, "Mattern & Lewis", coined by yours truly.
3) Tullamore Dew is now the official drink of dart-night. Who needs beer when you have premium Irish Whiskey. And don't ask Justin where he keeps the secret stash. Hands off!
Its a great way to relax the nerves....I strongly recommend drinking your first about a half-hour before match-time, and have at least 2 before you throw your first singles games. Then have some dude on your team order another one for you, so you can go to it during your games.
Then use your discretion as the night rolls along. Proceed with caution.
The only negative side affect, besides slurred speech, impaired balance, poor coordination, flushed face, reddened eyes, reduced inhibition and uncharacteristic behavior....is that, at the end of the night, you want to beat the ever-loving snot out of guys that look french.
That actually may be the only reason I drink Tullamore Dew, in retrospect.
4) I just found out Harlan "The Blaikinator" Blaikie threw 1177 allstar points last night, including a TON-58 on, and a TON-80. Redarted.
5) I just dubbed Harlan, "The Blaikinator", about a minute ago.
6) I don't remember Ginsberg showing up last night. Oh....yes I do.
7) I ended our first cricket game, hitting single-bull / single-bull / single-bull, thank you very much.
8) Ed Lewis just hit another R-5.
9) Every time a bell rings, Ed Lewis has just crushed another R-5....screw the angel's wings.
10) I love Ed Lewis.
11) I think I may go over to Apiary after I'm done writing this. Everyone has to go there. New rule. My friend owns it, and its freaking awesome.
12) Halloween is coming up, and the Dartbags have to play in costume, its mandatory. If you're not in costume, you're not playing....its that freaking simple.
13) Lallypalooza is on December 13th this year.
14) December 13th is also my dad's birthday. Couldn't have picked a better day to throw a huge blow-out gathering of dart-dorks, Tom. Well done.
15) I'm a dart-dork....and I'm ok with that.
16) Why does Tullamore Dew taste so ridiculously good? Oh, this is why: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nv6rHAHcHSM
17) The Dow is dropping points like James O'Brien on Monday nights.
18) 'The Jeek' is spelled with a j....geek.
19) Joy Harmon.
Outtie like Gowdy...
By Cuppa Joe Gasparino
I have no choice but to add this short addendum. I'm not actually in total control of my actions right now.
It was a long night, forgive me FURIOUS.
1) Ed Lewis played the most retarded cricket I've ever seen. "Retarded" meaning ridicu-darts, not subaverage cognitive functioning.
2) FURIOUS neglected to use one of the greatest tandem nicknames in darts history, "Mattern & Lewis", coined by yours truly.
3) Tullamore Dew is now the official drink of dart-night. Who needs beer when you have premium Irish Whiskey. And don't ask Justin where he keeps the secret stash. Hands off!
Its a great way to relax the nerves....I strongly recommend drinking your first about a half-hour before match-time, and have at least 2 before you throw your first singles games. Then have some dude on your team order another one for you, so you can go to it during your games.
Then use your discretion as the night rolls along. Proceed with caution.
The only negative side affect, besides slurred speech, impaired balance, poor coordination, flushed face, reddened eyes, reduced inhibition and uncharacteristic behavior....is that, at the end of the night, you want to beat the ever-loving snot out of guys that look french.
That actually may be the only reason I drink Tullamore Dew, in retrospect.
4) I just found out Harlan "The Blaikinator" Blaikie threw 1177 allstar points last night, including a TON-58 on, and a TON-80. Redarted.
5) I just dubbed Harlan, "The Blaikinator", about a minute ago.
6) I don't remember Ginsberg showing up last night. Oh....yes I do.
7) I ended our first cricket game, hitting single-bull / single-bull / single-bull, thank you very much.
8) Ed Lewis just hit another R-5.
9) Every time a bell rings, Ed Lewis has just crushed another R-5....screw the angel's wings.
10) I love Ed Lewis.
11) I think I may go over to Apiary after I'm done writing this. Everyone has to go there. New rule. My friend owns it, and its freaking awesome.
12) Halloween is coming up, and the Dartbags have to play in costume, its mandatory. If you're not in costume, you're not playing....its that freaking simple.
13) Lallypalooza is on December 13th this year.
14) December 13th is also my dad's birthday. Couldn't have picked a better day to throw a huge blow-out gathering of dart-dorks, Tom. Well done.
15) I'm a dart-dork....and I'm ok with that.
16) Why does Tullamore Dew taste so ridiculously good? Oh, this is why: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nv6rHAHcHSM
17) The Dow is dropping points like James O'Brien on Monday nights.
18) 'The Jeek' is spelled with a j....geek.
19) Joy Harmon.
Outtie like Gowdy...
posted by cuppa at 7:28 PM
3 Comments:
I prefer "Never Shakey Harlan Blaikie" or NSHB for short.
....cuz NSHB has a nice ring to it, i see....
"the blaikinator".
"blaikmeister general".
"half blaiked".
"achy blaikie" darts.
I had a front row seat for Blaikie's crazy good play. He swept me the first 3 games of the night (game 1: a 158 out, game 2: a 14 darter, game 3: he won as well.... I don't remember the particulars of that one... I was too busy applying ice to my doody hole). I'm going to visit the Blaikie Blog now where it's perpetually January 25th, 2007 and try to somehow set off a chain of events that will effect the outcome of the games (McFly-style).
Post a Comment
<< Home