Week 2: Fall 2008
FURIOUSLESS
EN FAILTE
Blue Collar 'Bags Battle
Furiouslessly to 13-11 Win
By CUPPA Joe Gasparino
Cpt FURIOUS was in Chicago. Rumors abounded.
Was he the key-note speaker at Trekkapalooza '08?
Was he on a secret mission to 'shrink' the heads of the crumbling stock market?
Some believe that FURIOUS was half-way across the country, meeting with Joy Harmon and her top chef at Aunt Joy's Cakes, to secure dessert for his upcoming wedding reception.
Only Frank, God...and hopefully Joy, knows.
What I know...is that, without our 'Big Toe'...our FURIOUS leader...
...the guy who puts the Chic in Geek...
...our flashy all-star point leading King of 'The Ring'...
...we, the Dartbags, rolled up our sleeves, and put forth a gritty, blue-collar effort, that resulted in a much needed 13 points. This was an out-and-out GRIND.
No gawdy all-stars...in fact only 958 total for the whole crew. But like retired Dartbags legend, RJ "The Surgeon", used to say: "Allstar points mean (shite)." And this match further bolstered that theory.
Shite....last week I, CUPPA, recorded 800 and went 3/9. That stinks. This week, I scraped up 100, the lowest total I can recall in years, and went 7/9. Its all about the W's.
We beat 'Jumbled Alien Paranoia', playing out of Failte, a tremendous Irish whiskey pub, on 2nd avenue, between 29th and 30th. A note about Failte, and the guy behind the stick...who's also the guy that helped put the team together, Dean 'The Machine' McCarthy:
Simply put: they do the right thing. Best treatment we've ever had by a darts pub, other than our home, George Keeley. 'The Jeek' has an awesome reputation for its hospitality, and the other teams in the league know it. Failte is at least on the same level. Note to other teams, and their pubs: pay attention. Especially J.A.P's last home bar, that wrote the book on how to make sure we'll never spend another DIME in that.....place.
I'll bring bottled water and a flask if I ever have to play there again.
Whats up with guys that don't get it.
What was that you said, Pya Lou?
Pya: "Those people SUCK!"
In the immortal words of Cameo: "Word up!"
Anywho....tremendously large kudos to Failte, Dean, and the guys that played: Paul 'The Quiz' Quisenberry, Joe 'The Alien' Taras, 'Bloody' Liam Keane, and Brian 'Crack' O'Kane...
...thats a good one :)
We all fought hard, and as usual, we had the friendliest of bouts with these guys.
Now...I brought this up in the last post: What in Jesus-ball-hell is 'Jumbled Alien Paranoia'? Answer: Mr. Taras, who by the way filled out and folded the remaining scoresheets for the rest of the season's matches....out of sheer boredom...ahem...
...took all of the guy's names on the team, threw them in the hopper of some word-jumble program on his computer, and it spit out 3 words: Jumbled Alien Paranoia. Case closed. Mystery solved. It's not as good as 'Liam's Leftovers', but it does the job.
SINGLES 501
Paul 'The Quiz' Quisenberry (1) - CUPPA Joe Gasparino (2)
It seems we square off every time we play. Without FURIOUS around, I figured I'd play Major Dick Winters, and lead us into battle. Paul was spot-on, smacking 490 asp, working his way down at a serious clip in every game. CUPPA hit more 80-something's than a geriatric giggolo, and his outs were tighter than cousin Rob's wallet with his wife in labor. For those of us who get that tid-bit.....thats pretty freakin' tight!
Joe 'The Alien' Taras (1) - Glenn 'The Werewolf' Pike (2)
This was a battle of seasoned veterans, one that has been fought a few times before. Both guys were equally sharp. Not the sharpest we've seen from them, but then again....thats still pretty sharp. All 3 games were close. A bit of double-trouble helped Glenn nail the last one down. Oh...and his hair was perfect.
'Bloody' Liam Keane (2) - Chris 'The Freak' Mellen (1)
This was the A-league debut for 'The Freak', the c-melliest player in the NYDO. After some understandable first game jitters, Chris settled down and took the second in crisp fashion. Liam's bloody tough, and took the 3rd, en route to 322 asp. The kid freak broke in with his first 211 A-league asp in round 1.
Brian 'Crack' O'Kane (2) - Vince 'The Hornet's Nest' (1)
Vince was MIA when round 4 was supposed to start. We released the hornets in search of him, and as they buzzed around the murray hill section of manhattan, I got a call from him. You see, instead of a phone-booth, Vince uses a black Lincoln Towncar for hire. When he called he was taking off his suit and tie, and putting on his souveneir Nantucket t-shirt and cargo shorts, in the back seat. He finally arrived.....and with virtually no warm-up and a lipper, he proceeded to lose 2/3, to a heavy-handed Brian O'Kane. Give more credit to Brian, than to a docile Hornet's Nest.
J.A.P (6) - Dartbags (6)
Doubles Cricket
Quiz-Alien (2) - Pike's Freak (1)
Ridicu-darts to start things off. Taras with an R6....Pike with an R7. We started to c-mell what Chris was cookin' in this round, as he sharpened up his stroke. Credit Paul and Joe for taking 2 out of 3 solid games, especially closing things out with alien efficiency.
Keane-n-O'Kane (1) - CUPPA'CENZ (2)
The 'Bags dropped a tough one in the first. It was tight, but not the best darts in game one. Especially as it seemed all 4 guys were treating the bullseye like it was Rosie O'Donnell. That utterly hideous trend would end, however....and the worm would turn....as in game 2, CUPPA treated the bullseye like it was Joy Harmon after a car-wash.
A C-4, that put the 'Bags ahead, and in control of the game, hilited a game where CUPPA hit 8 bullseyes, including a game-winning turn....first dart, single-bull.....second dart, the single 15 to win it. As FURIOUS would say: restaurant quality. Game 3 ended similarly for the 'Bags. Gut-check: check.
J.A.P (9) - Dartbags (9)
Doubles 501
Quiz-n-Keane (2) - Pike's Freak (1)
The good-guys raced off to a quick lead in game 1, and finished it off with, I think, a double-7, 14 winner by 'The Werewolf'. 'The Freak' was throwing c-melly darts for the most part (thats a good thing, Martha), but the guys couldn't overcome the Quiz who continued to be en-fuego. A ton-25 by Paul, and a bloody ton-24 by Liam helped them take the last 2 games, putting jumbled alien paranoia into the heads of the 'Bags. J.A.P would lead 11-10 going into the last set.
Jokane (0) - CUPPA'CENZ (3)
Having fully recovered from his dartryst with the bullseye (aka, Lucille (TM)) in cricket, CUPPA, and CENZO, finished where they left off: utter clutchery. Jokane took control in game 1, and it looked like they were en route to the V, with Brian smacking solid, blue-collar darts. With classic "never say die" poise, the 'Bag-boys hung in there, and CUPPA took out a 2-dart 48. CUPPA got in on his first dart in the next 2 games, and nearly took out a 113. 'CENZO thankfully nailed a 3-dart 40-out in his next turn. Vince's Hornets finished the job in game 3 as well, completing an impressive sweep over 2 guys who were dropping the hammer all round.
We needed the sweep to win....we got it.
FINAL: Dartbags 13 - Jumbled Alien Paranoia 11
ASP Totals:
Glenn - 330 (chinese menu in his hand...)
Chris - 311 (c-melly-ass darts)
Vince - 217 (get you to the darts...on...time...)
CUPPA - 125 (7/9...my Lucille)
Special thanks to:
Dartbaguettes, Hope and Nell for showing their support.
Joy Harmon, for accepting further plugs for her company, graciously accepting her status as Honorary Dartbaguette (TM), Fall 2008, and for putting up with more blatant ogling from us.
And last, but not least....Dean 'The Machine', and Failte for unparalleled hostery.
Next match is this coming monday, when we play a couple of the bigger fans of the Dartbags, Julio Andrade and Craig Nobbs, and the rest of 'Menace To Sobriety', away, at The Gaf (West). Gonna be a tough one. We'll need our A+ game, or it'll get ugly in a hurry.
Extra Aqua Velva, Frank.
That is, if you have any left over after meeting with Miss Harmon.
Did I mention that Joy Harmon has a company called 'Aunt Joy's Cakes'?
I'm outtie like Gowdy...
EN FAILTE
Blue Collar 'Bags Battle
Furiouslessly to 13-11 Win
By CUPPA Joe Gasparino
Cpt FURIOUS was in Chicago. Rumors abounded.
Was he the key-note speaker at Trekkapalooza '08?
Was he on a secret mission to 'shrink' the heads of the crumbling stock market?
Some believe that FURIOUS was half-way across the country, meeting with Joy Harmon and her top chef at Aunt Joy's Cakes, to secure dessert for his upcoming wedding reception.
Only Frank, God...and hopefully Joy, knows.
What I know...is that, without our 'Big Toe'...our FURIOUS leader...
...the guy who puts the Chic in Geek...
...our flashy all-star point leading King of 'The Ring'...
...we, the Dartbags, rolled up our sleeves, and put forth a gritty, blue-collar effort, that resulted in a much needed 13 points. This was an out-and-out GRIND.
No gawdy all-stars...in fact only 958 total for the whole crew. But like retired Dartbags legend, RJ "The Surgeon", used to say: "Allstar points mean (shite)." And this match further bolstered that theory.
Shite....last week I, CUPPA, recorded 800 and went 3/9. That stinks. This week, I scraped up 100, the lowest total I can recall in years, and went 7/9. Its all about the W's.
We beat 'Jumbled Alien Paranoia', playing out of Failte, a tremendous Irish whiskey pub, on 2nd avenue, between 29th and 30th. A note about Failte, and the guy behind the stick...who's also the guy that helped put the team together, Dean 'The Machine' McCarthy:
Simply put: they do the right thing. Best treatment we've ever had by a darts pub, other than our home, George Keeley. 'The Jeek' has an awesome reputation for its hospitality, and the other teams in the league know it. Failte is at least on the same level. Note to other teams, and their pubs: pay attention. Especially J.A.P's last home bar, that wrote the book on how to make sure we'll never spend another DIME in that.....place.
I'll bring bottled water and a flask if I ever have to play there again.
Whats up with guys that don't get it.
What was that you said, Pya Lou?
Pya: "Those people SUCK!"
In the immortal words of Cameo: "Word up!"
Anywho....tremendously large kudos to Failte, Dean, and the guys that played: Paul 'The Quiz' Quisenberry, Joe 'The Alien' Taras, 'Bloody' Liam Keane, and Brian 'Crack' O'Kane...
...thats a good one :)
We all fought hard, and as usual, we had the friendliest of bouts with these guys.
Now...I brought this up in the last post: What in Jesus-ball-hell is 'Jumbled Alien Paranoia'? Answer: Mr. Taras, who by the way filled out and folded the remaining scoresheets for the rest of the season's matches....out of sheer boredom...ahem...
...took all of the guy's names on the team, threw them in the hopper of some word-jumble program on his computer, and it spit out 3 words: Jumbled Alien Paranoia. Case closed. Mystery solved. It's not as good as 'Liam's Leftovers', but it does the job.
SINGLES 501
Paul 'The Quiz' Quisenberry (1) - CUPPA Joe Gasparino (2)
It seems we square off every time we play. Without FURIOUS around, I figured I'd play Major Dick Winters, and lead us into battle. Paul was spot-on, smacking 490 asp, working his way down at a serious clip in every game. CUPPA hit more 80-something's than a geriatric giggolo, and his outs were tighter than cousin Rob's wallet with his wife in labor. For those of us who get that tid-bit.....thats pretty freakin' tight!
Joe 'The Alien' Taras (1) - Glenn 'The Werewolf' Pike (2)
This was a battle of seasoned veterans, one that has been fought a few times before. Both guys were equally sharp. Not the sharpest we've seen from them, but then again....thats still pretty sharp. All 3 games were close. A bit of double-trouble helped Glenn nail the last one down. Oh...and his hair was perfect.
'Bloody' Liam Keane (2) - Chris 'The Freak' Mellen (1)
This was the A-league debut for 'The Freak', the c-melliest player in the NYDO. After some understandable first game jitters, Chris settled down and took the second in crisp fashion. Liam's bloody tough, and took the 3rd, en route to 322 asp. The kid freak broke in with his first 211 A-league asp in round 1.
Brian 'Crack' O'Kane (2) - Vince 'The Hornet's Nest' (1)
Vince was MIA when round 4 was supposed to start. We released the hornets in search of him, and as they buzzed around the murray hill section of manhattan, I got a call from him. You see, instead of a phone-booth, Vince uses a black Lincoln Towncar for hire. When he called he was taking off his suit and tie, and putting on his souveneir Nantucket t-shirt and cargo shorts, in the back seat. He finally arrived.....and with virtually no warm-up and a lipper, he proceeded to lose 2/3, to a heavy-handed Brian O'Kane. Give more credit to Brian, than to a docile Hornet's Nest.
J.A.P (6) - Dartbags (6)
Doubles Cricket
Quiz-Alien (2) - Pike's Freak (1)
Ridicu-darts to start things off. Taras with an R6....Pike with an R7. We started to c-mell what Chris was cookin' in this round, as he sharpened up his stroke. Credit Paul and Joe for taking 2 out of 3 solid games, especially closing things out with alien efficiency.
Keane-n-O'Kane (1) - CUPPA'CENZ (2)
The 'Bags dropped a tough one in the first. It was tight, but not the best darts in game one. Especially as it seemed all 4 guys were treating the bullseye like it was Rosie O'Donnell. That utterly hideous trend would end, however....and the worm would turn....as in game 2, CUPPA treated the bullseye like it was Joy Harmon after a car-wash.
A C-4, that put the 'Bags ahead, and in control of the game, hilited a game where CUPPA hit 8 bullseyes, including a game-winning turn....first dart, single-bull.....second dart, the single 15 to win it. As FURIOUS would say: restaurant quality. Game 3 ended similarly for the 'Bags. Gut-check: check.
J.A.P (9) - Dartbags (9)
Doubles 501
Quiz-n-Keane (2) - Pike's Freak (1)
The good-guys raced off to a quick lead in game 1, and finished it off with, I think, a double-7, 14 winner by 'The Werewolf'. 'The Freak' was throwing c-melly darts for the most part (thats a good thing, Martha), but the guys couldn't overcome the Quiz who continued to be en-fuego. A ton-25 by Paul, and a bloody ton-24 by Liam helped them take the last 2 games, putting jumbled alien paranoia into the heads of the 'Bags. J.A.P would lead 11-10 going into the last set.
Jokane (0) - CUPPA'CENZ (3)
Having fully recovered from his dartryst with the bullseye (aka, Lucille (TM)) in cricket, CUPPA, and CENZO, finished where they left off: utter clutchery. Jokane took control in game 1, and it looked like they were en route to the V, with Brian smacking solid, blue-collar darts. With classic "never say die" poise, the 'Bag-boys hung in there, and CUPPA took out a 2-dart 48. CUPPA got in on his first dart in the next 2 games, and nearly took out a 113. 'CENZO thankfully nailed a 3-dart 40-out in his next turn. Vince's Hornets finished the job in game 3 as well, completing an impressive sweep over 2 guys who were dropping the hammer all round.
We needed the sweep to win....we got it.
FINAL: Dartbags 13 - Jumbled Alien Paranoia 11
ASP Totals:
Glenn - 330 (chinese menu in his hand...)
Chris - 311 (c-melly-ass darts)
Vince - 217 (get you to the darts...on...time...)
CUPPA - 125 (7/9...my Lucille)
Special thanks to:
Dartbaguettes, Hope and Nell for showing their support.
Joy Harmon, for accepting further plugs for her company, graciously accepting her status as Honorary Dartbaguette (TM), Fall 2008, and for putting up with more blatant ogling from us.
And last, but not least....Dean 'The Machine', and Failte for unparalleled hostery.
Next match is this coming monday, when we play a couple of the bigger fans of the Dartbags, Julio Andrade and Craig Nobbs, and the rest of 'Menace To Sobriety', away, at The Gaf (West). Gonna be a tough one. We'll need our A+ game, or it'll get ugly in a hurry.
Extra Aqua Velva, Frank.
That is, if you have any left over after meeting with Miss Harmon.
Did I mention that Joy Harmon has a company called 'Aunt Joy's Cakes'?
I'm outtie like Gowdy...
posted by cuppa at 2:11 PM
1 Comments:
Live long and prosper, Major Dick.
Post a Comment
<< Home