El Capitan In Paradise

Coming soon: The Captain's Hemingway-esque journey
down in Key West.

Stay tuned...

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #6: HANGING A CROOKED NUMBER

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 04 - 24 -07

The Dartbags seemed to be putting it together last week, going on a 8-4 run to earn a tie with the first place team. This week, they would be playing the division laggards, The Bull Busters, in a tilt at George Keeley's on Amsterdam -- our home turf. It was nice to be back in familiar surroundings... the sounds (AC/DC on the box), the sights (friendly faces, including Lillian and her friend, Christine) and the smells (Colin's traditional pregame souvlaki). Yep. It was good for the soul. But would it be good for the standings? The Captain's Goal for the week (to borrow an old baseball term): Hang a crooked number on 'em. Fact is, we need points, and this was an opportunity. Here's what happened.

Frank started out against PJ and hit the ground running with a Ton and a Ton-35 two rounds later. He cruised to an 8 round (24 dart) victory. But then the dry erase markers gave out... All of them. So we had to wait for Ginsberg (always a team player, thanks, guy) to run to Duane Reade and buy more. By the time he got back, the Captain's mojo was gone. The Cap blew a big lead and couldn't double out. The third game was a close affair, but a D-5 sealed it for the good guys. Whew! The Captain hates looking bad in front of his girlfriend. 2-1 'Bags.

Frank was followed by the The Alpha Dog of the Dartbag Wolfpack, G Pike. Glenn faced off against Kevin who had the misfortune of playing while on crutches. Pike took the first with solid darts (9 rounds.) He was even sharper in game two with an 8 rounder (23 darts) in which he took out a 76 in classic fashion (T-20, D-8). The third game was more of the same with another 9 round victory. The unofficial motto for singles is: "keep it under 10" (rounds). Pike did so in all 3. The scary thing is, he didn't even shoot that well. (He only had one all star round.) Good stuff from IYH, who's feeling it more and more each week. 5-1 'Bags

Tim faced off against Keith in set #3. Tim was playing hurt for the 'Bags, with a serious hamstring injury that hampered his ability to walk or even bend his right leg. (If only Carl "I Can't Pitch Tonight Because I Got A Paper Cut Opening My 6 Digit Paycheck" Pavano had such guts.) Tim on one leg couldn't keep pace with Keith, who shot very well. 5-4, 'Bags

At this point we moved on to Cricket.

Vince and Frank faced off against PJ and Keith. The 'Bags were lackluster and the other team couldn't miss. And when PJ hit an R-9, the 'Bags were down big. The other team had everything closed but the bulls and had 162 pts on the board. (I can't believe I just wrote that. Did we suck THAT bad? That's unbelievable.) The 'Bags went on a big bull run, with Vince hitting bulls and closing numbers and back to back C-3s from Frank. But the comeback came up short. In the second game it was more good darts from the Bull Busters. It turned into a stubborn back and forth point war. Three 18s from the 'Bags, 3 17s from the Busters. Four 18s for the 'Bags, 4 17s for the other guys. A well played game. But a better played game by the other team. Damn. 0-2 in cricket. The D'Bags turned it up a notch in the third game and a big R-6 for Vince helped put it away.

Gotta tip your cap to them, as well as ask them a question:

Frank: How the hell are you guys in last place?

PJ: We've been penalized for roster problems and have had trouble fielding a full team.

It sure as hell isn't their cricket game. That was probably the best cricket we've faced all year.

Up next was Pike 'n Colin vs. Kevin and... no one. He would be playing Canadian style which prompted Vince to say:

Vince: Make sure you mention that, not only did he play Canadian, but he was on crutches.

Indeed. Gins, who is new to the squad this year, seemed confused by the lingo.

Gins: So... let me get this straight. Canadian style is when you play a man down... and you're a cripple?

Not exactly, Gins. You also have to wear a beaver pelt hat, drink Molson and punctuate all of your reports to the scorekeeper with, "eh?" See here for a reference.

This game went about the way you'd expect it to. Except, even slower. Between, the less than scintillating play and the dropping and picking up of crutches every third turn, I swear time stood still.

Maybe that's why it's called a Canadian match. Because...

it's...

so...

freakin'...

slow...

(eh?)

Three more points for us. 9-6 'Bags. On to doubles.

We sent out Glenn and Vince to take on PJ and Keith. The D'Bags were sharp. Glenn got us on quickly and both he and Vince kept up the pressure. And good thing too. The other guys were pretty sharp in their own right. The 'Bags won the first game when Pike took out a D-8. Game 2 was a humdinger. After Keith opened for the other team with 62, Pike responded with a massive TON-52 ON! (Nice, guy). But while we were celebrating that, PJ popped a Ton-20. But while they were celebrating, Vince responded with an 85 of his own. This was the way the match went. Back and forth, both teams throwing bombs. Vince finished what Glenn started with a D-20. It looked like we took their best punch in game two, because in the final leg, the 'Bags just steamrolled 'em. Kudos to Glenn and Vince. 12-6.

Franken'Tim played Kevin and late arrival, Matt Traub. We had never played him before, but it became pretty clear in warmups that this is an A-1 shot, playing in A-3. The other team jumped ahead and on the back of Matt's big darts. The 'Bags never got a whiff of a double. In the second leg, Matt was tonning it up and the 'Bags just couldn't seem to count it down. Six rounds in, they were on 78 and we were on 300-something. But the 'Bags counted down and the Bull Busters let them. Part of the reason? Math. You never want to leave a 38 for someone when you have a huge lead. Why? 19 + 17 + miss = XX. That's why. And several rounds later, when Tim left Frank on 40, the Furious One took it out first dart.

Matt (to his team): We just blew a 300 point lead.

Yep. As I've said before, "Dartbags never quit. We suck sometimes. But we never quit."

In the last game, we once again fell behind because of Matt's bludgeoning. (He would finish with 538 ASPs in doubles and numerous 85s). But this time we didn't let it get so out of hand. Eventually, Bull Busters turned a D-20 out into a D-5 out, into an XX out. And that's where they stood. But Tim had given Frank a very makable 94 leave. First dart, T-18. Second dart, just north of the D-20. Third dart... D-20. And, like that, the Dartbags had stolen another point. 14-7 'Bags.

At this point we had Vince and Matt play out their singles matches. Vince never backs down from a challenge, and this was no exception. Matt lit up more ASPs in game one, but Vince hung tough and took out a D-20 to take the first point. At this point, Matt had to be scratching his head. He was shooting the lights out, but had lost 3 in a row. Despite solid darts from Vincenzo in the next two, Matt and his 660 ASPs (1198 for the night... w/o cricket) took the next two legs to conclude the night's play. Your final... Dartbags 15: Bull Busters 9.

Last week, I asked the question had the Dartbag machine rumbled to life or would we backslide into sloppy darts. I think the answer is clearly the former. This Bull Buster team was a lot better than advertised. They have lost a bunch of points that have had nothing to do with their level of play. We got some guaranteed points in cricket, but we also allowed them to add a name to the doubles line up after the fact and go back to singles to finish the evening. Cuppa Joe had a good take on the event's proceedings:

Cup: 15-9 isn't bad. And we would had even more if Sasquatch didn't show up and put his big foot in our hole.

Roger that. But as Cup (and everyone else agreed), it was an easy decision to go back and play the matches. We haven't earned the nickname "Friendliest Team" for nothing. This is a dart league played in bars, for crying out loud. Frankly, any team that would refuse to accomodate a guy who couldn't get out of work, is either A) missing the point of dart night or B) just plain chicken. (If they beat you, they beat you. Play the damn match!!).

The stated goal of the evening was to hang a crooked number. Fifteen is pretty crooked. We'll declare victory on this one and look to play next week up at the Gaf (Home of the White Hawk) to play Nomads no more. This team has a couple of top notch shooters. We'll need to play well.

A few props:

Props to Cup for finally finishing the refined logo, from the previous 'sketched' version. Complete with team tag and trademarked slogan!

Props to to Glenn for finishing the night 9 for 9 (did I catch a "niner" in there?)

Props to George Keeley for adding a new dart page and to our friend, The Dart Dog for his kind words and journalistic excellence. (Give 'em hell, Reds!)

ASPs:

Frank: 356
Vince: 340
Glenn: 247

That's not a lot, but as RJ used to say, "All star points don't mean sh*t."

That is all.

-Captain Furious

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #5: SIGNS OF LIFE?

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 04 - 16 - 07

Note/Apology: I can't find the damn score sheet so details may be more sketchy than usual.

The Dartbags traveled down town to Fitzgerald's bar, a rustic looking old pub and a sentimental favorite of Frank's since it bears his family's name and crest. On hand were all 5 active Bags, save Colin and Sunset Joe. Also there were steadfast Dartbaguettes, Hopi and Nell. It was a solid night all in all, if not the easiest set up. You can't see the scoreboard and a window of sorts blocks your view of the board. But with good friends, cold beer and the NHL playoffs on... we'd find a way to make do. Here's what happened:

rank faced off against Joe Taras in the first set of singles. The last time these two tangled it was in the B league playoffs, 2 years ago. In that one the Captain swept. This would be the revenge of Joe T. In the first game Frank blew a big lead and Joe came roaring back with a T-21 and followed that round by taking out a 92 on two darts. Ouch. Nice shooting. The Cap was mediocre in game two. Mediocre doesn't get it done against a good shooter. The final game Frank had all the chances in the world to hit XX and couldn't do it. Frustrating. 0-3

Thank goodness for Glenn. Piker took on Captain Cliff of the other team. Glenn actually wasn't that sharp, but then again, he doesn't need to be. He won the first taking out a double 4. In the second game Cliff racked up ASPs and went out in 8 turns. But Glenn cruised out to a nice lead in the final leg and nailed a D-8 to bring home win # 2 in a solid 10 round affair. 2-4.

Vince followed against James Eugenia. Like the rest of us, Vince didn't have his best darts. But he turned in a 10 rounder himself, knocking out a D-20 to take the first point. (Nice) 3-4. In the second game James began to really heat up including a T-80. Not much you could do in that game except tip your cap. James remained hot in the final game and won a nailbiter. 3-6

Last in singles was BFT vs. Liam. Tim came out firing his patented triple pump fastball darts. That's how you know he's on. It was a close contest with Liam down on an out and Tim sitting on 133. First dart, T-20. Second dart, T-17, Third dart... single 16. Juuuuust missed a brilliant out. He would take out the D-8 next round. It was Liam getting hot in leg two to take it. The final round was another close affair. Tim was sitting on 100. First dart, 20. Second dart, D-20, Third dart... Just north of the D-20. Once again a near brilliant out. Unfortunately, Tim wouldn't get a chance to drive the final nail and the game went to Liam. (Captain's Note: The second D-20 was absolutely intentional... I checked). And the 'Bags found themselves down 4-8 and frustrated once again. The reaction of the other team was very interesting. Their Captain said to me, with all sincerity.

Cliff: You guys are the best team we've played so far.

I thanked him for the compliment and let him know that we know we'll have to play even better if we want to take games off of his team -- which was likewise a sincere compliment. But it struck me as a little strange. I mean, here we were getting beaten 8-4 and somehow he still thought to comment on what a good team we were.

The thought lingered. Why? I mean, we weren't even playing well. Can you imagine if we were?

And somewhere in the deep recesses of the Captain's mind, there was a tiny "click"... and a little light turned on.

Wow, he thought, the people in this sub-division simply have no idea what the Dartbags are capable of when we play up to our standards. Not these worthy adversaries... not the previous opponents... no one. They've never seen Pike throw "ridicudarts". They've never seen The Hornet's Nest when he's at his nasty best. Hell, they've never even seen Cuppa Joe play at all. Add Tim and Frank to the mix and Colin's Ol' Rusty moments... for some reason it changed Frank's mind set completely. He was now officially fired up.

On to cricket, where the Dartbags have been making some hay lately. Vince filled out the line ups and put Glenn and Frank first. They'd take on Joe and Cliff. Again, I say thank goodness for Glenn. It wasn't a very sharp affair with both teams out of the gate pretty slowly. The difference were Glenn's darts (an R-4 and an R-6) and his ability to hit the closing bullseyes. We took the first. In the second game it was Frank's turn to catch fire. He followed Glenn's 3 20s with a T-20 and a T-19. Score it R-6. Then in his next turn, he would trip the 18s and the 17s. Score it another R-6. Glenn would add an R-6 of his own. The 'Bags rolled. The third game was tougher. Joe T started with a 20 and an 18. Glenn hit two 20s in reply. Then the game was changed by Cliff's big T-20 and T-18 (R-6). But the 'Bags started on the comeback trail. R-4 for Frank. R-5 for Glenn. R-6 for Frank. And like that, we were winning again. We would zip it up to take the complete the sweep. Five R-6s scored and a number of R-5 rounds as well. Easily some of the best darts all year and we were back in it. 7-8.

It was Vince'nTim vs. James and Liam in the 2nd set. James and Liam were tough. James tossed an R-7 and Liam an R-6 along the way. Vince threw some bombs as well, and Tim had his moments, but it wasn't enough. The 'Bags won one and lost a pair of close ones. 8-10.

On to double '01. The 'Bags sent out Vince and Glenn against Joe and James. More strong play from the Fitzgeralds. The 'Bags dropped the first two, before the good guys rallied in game 3 and Pike sunk a big D-4 to salvage point. 9-12.

FrankenTim closed the evenings proceedings against Liam and Cliff. Both teams got out of the gate slowly.When they finally got on the board, the 'Bags used steady, unspectacular darts to grind out a win (D-2). In game 2, the 'Bags opened a big lead and held on by hitting a D-5 to win another one. In game 3, Liam, who is an intense competitor, went in on a Ton. But the 'Bags followed with a an in of 75 and we had ourselves a dartmatch. Somehow, Frank managed to turn a 32 out into a 5. But thankfully cleaned up his own mess with a 2, D-1 to end the night on a good note. Solid, unspectacular darts was the theme in this one. But the Captain, who has had his share of stinkers, was going in and out more than Wilt Chamberlain at a Miss USA afterparty. We'll take it.

It added up to a 12-12 tie against the first place team, the same team that crushed their opponents 22-2 last week. So be it.

Frank who earlier in the day battled a shakey stomach and dehydration, seemed to have a bit more color in face.

Gins: You look better.

Frank: Yeah, I didn't get to eat dinner so I had a couple Guinness. I feel better.

Gins: I think the moral of the story is, "Drinking is good".

Well said, Ginsberg.

Liam was quite candid and complimentary after the night.

Liam: You guys surprised us tonight. You were 22 back in the standings... We didn't expect you to come out the way you did.

Look, there's no arguing with the inescapable logic of Bill Parcells; "You are what record says you are." But what you CAN be is another matter entirely. This team is capable of a lot more.

A hell of a lot more.

You get the sense that the pistons are starting to fire. The machine is rumbling to life. The next two weeks should be interesting. We could backslide into what only the most generous of us would call mediocrity or we could begin to hit our stride and launch our "Viking Raids" on the dart bars of New York as we did in the past. Yes. You are what your record says you are. It should be very interesting.

But Monday night at Fitzerald's, a light was turned on.

It's getting brighter.

ASP Recap:

Pike: 719
Frank: 680
Vince: 412
Tim: 333

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #4: RESTAURANT ROLL

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 04 - 09 - 07

The Dartbags, Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC TM, headed to O'Flaherty's Bar on 46th to take on a new opponent this week -- Average Jack. The bar is a beautiful spot on Restaurant Row that is like a poor man's version of the legendary Pat O'Brien's down in New Orleans. Fresh off an embarrassing defeat last week, the 'Bags were hoping to acquit themselves a lot better this around.

"There is a tide in the affairs of men. Which taken at the flood,
leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life Is
bound in shallows and in miseries " - William Shakespeare

Cuppa sent us the above inspirational pre-game text. It didn't do much good, unfortunately. We started slow. And I don't mean the just the darts. I mean mentally slow. As Vince was about to dig in to his delicious shepherd's pie, he attempted to add some Worcestershire Sauce for flavor. He tried to shake some on, but it wouldn't come out. So he tried again. Still nothing. So in an effort to extract the stubborn steak sauce he began shaking the bottle even more vigorously. Finally, Chris on the other team volunteered some advice...

Chris: Uh... the cap's still on.

Yeah. It started like that.

Here's what happened:

While Vince was shaking up the Worcestershire, Frank decided to shake up the starting line up. He sent out Colin out first to do what a Microwave does best -- heat things up in a hurry. Unfortunately the microwave was set at "Thaw". It was, to be fair, an unfamiliar position for C.O.D. Perhaps that is why he could be heard speaking to himself on the line before his first throws...

Colin: All right... Okay... Here we go...

Well, Colin gave Capt. Mark of the other team a good run in all three games, but the Jack was first to hit the doubles. 0-3 to start.

We followed Colin with Pike. Unfortunately, Pike was a little cold himself. He dropped the first two to Rick. (Maybe it was the removal of his Samson like locks.) In the final frame, Glenn battled like a pitcher without his best stuff and secured the first point of the evening by hitting an XX. 1-5

Then Frank stumbled out of the gate against Damon, hitting more 40 somethings than James Denton and like that, the 'Bags were trailing 1-6. Personally, I blame the jukebox, or at least the people who made use of it. Annie's Song by John Denver? Islands in the Stream by Parton and Rogers? Freaking WHAM??? I mean, really. How can anybody be expected to focus all their energy when their senses are fighting off an onslaught of sissyfication?

Well, if the music was wimpy, Frank's clothes were anything but. He was sporting the new baseball t-shirt with the heavy metal inspired design created by Dartbag, Lou Henry. It along with other fine Dartbag products are available HERE. (Good work, Louis. Thanks).

But in the second game, like Glenn before him, Frank managed to gut out a XX for another point, (thanks in large part by Joe Cocker's When the Night Comes which I think we can all agree is a much more darts worthy song.)In game three the Captain heated up with 3 all star rounds and nearly squandered a big lead before once again hitting XX for the point. 3-6

Three points, three XX outs. There's got to be an easier way to play this game.

Fortunately Vince found that way. In the final set of singles Vince took on Chris and kept the roll going. He swept all 3, and not a single XX in the bunch. The highlight was a razor sharp 22 darter, on which he stuck a D-3, to seal the sweep. The progression went 0 wins, to 1, to 2, to a 3 point sweep. And just like that we were tied @ 6 points a piece. Gotta like that trend. It would continue.

Vince and Frank started off against Rick and Brian. The Dartbags had officially heated up. Vince and Frank shot their best darts of the year. Example, the start of game 3: Vince - R-5, Frank - R-3, Vince - R-5, Frank R-5, Vince R-4... you get the picture. Three more points for the Good Guys of George Keeley, and a nice 8 game winning streak.

Mark and Brendan faced off against Pike 'n Tim in the 2nd round of cricket and the Jacks would have their revenge. Mark and Brendan are a formidable pair who Vince and Frank remember from the NYDO's Doubles tournament. Pike and Tim had some big rounds, but it wasn't enough. Tied after singles. Tied after cricket 9-9.

At this point, Frank was reminded of the infamous O'Flaherty's Hangover. Now we love O'Flaherty's. It's one of our favorite spots in the city. But Frank's brother Loring had given him a heads up earlier in the week about the draught beer. Be careful not to have too many, he warned... it gives you a headache. Indeed, Frank was painfully aware of this fact from previous experiences and had sent out an email to the team. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Three (if you believe the impatient owl in the commercial). How many beers does it take to induce a draught beer headache at O'Flaherty's? Three or four. Frank's was in full effect.

Frank: My head hurts. The hangover kicked in. How about you guys?

Pike: Yeah, mine is too. Gins?

Gins: Pounding.

Ironically, it appeared to help them play better. (And it wasn't there in the morning).

It was Frank and Glenn to start off Doubles. Frank remained hot (first dart in every game) and Glenn was looking like his filthy self (albeit a less hairy version). Glenn hit a D-16 to get the ball rolling in game 1. Game 2 provided some comic relief. Brendan, the scorer wrote a T on the board when the 'Bags were on 40. His teammates interpreted it as an error and pointed it out to him. The indignant Brendan reprimanded his teammates in his Irish brogue:

Brendan: Don't you know how to properly mark a board!? Don't you know what a T stands for?? Hey (pointing to us) what does a T stand for?

Pike: Uh... Is it Gaelic for 40?

Brendan: Tops! T is for Tops! They're on 40!

You learn something new everyday. Good stuff. The final game included a streak of 97, T, T with Glenn nearly taking out 95 to end it, but he hit a D-8 instead of the D-16. It would have been a 6 rounder. Two darts later, Frank would hit the D-8 again and it added up to 7 rounder (20 darts). 12-9 'Bags.

It was Vince and Big Friendly Tim to round out the evening. Vince was still hot as a pistol. The 'Bags took the first in crisp fashion. They would drop the second. But in the final leg of the match, the D'Bags would buckle down. It was a well-played affair and when the other team took the lead down the stretch with a big Ton, Vince responded with a T-21 of his own before they could even complete the high fives. Nasty. And with the other team sitting on 32, BFT hit a D-4 to take the point, complete a 24 darter and end the evening 14-10.

This was a fun night. The other team were terrific hosts. Good guys, very cordial and fun to be around. And we had a happy contingent of 'Bags (which included Hope and Nell in addition to all 6 players) who enjoyed the darts and stuck around to enjoy the after party. Plus, O'Flaherty's even has an arcade game that has 15 of your favorite classic games. Tim took on Ginsberg in a Donkey Kong Jr. battle. It was not merely excellence in darts this night for the 'Bags. It was Tim with posting the high score for the machine and Mike with the 2nd highest score. If you go to O'Flaherty's you'll likely still see their scores on the leader board. Tim's tagline: B F T. Mike's: J. E. W.

Great time. See you all next week.

That is all.

-Captain Furious

------------AS Recap------------

Cap: 516

Pike: 404

Vince: 320

BFT: 133

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #3: APRIL FOOLS!

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 4 - 2 - 07

It looks like the Dart Gods took an extra day to play their April Fools joke on the Dartbags (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC TM). And what a kneeslapping, laugh riot it was! The Dartbags played their worst darts of the year and lost to Three Penny Opera -- are you ready? -- 18 to 6.

On hand was a pretty good crew. In addition to Glenn, Vince, Colin and Tim, Hopi and Nell made the scene. The only active bag who was missing was Ginz. He was celebrating the Jewish holiday.

Tim: So he's passing us over?

Colin: Would The Angel of Death even come to George Keeley?

1) Yes, and it's probably for the best; and 2) No, just The Angel of Sucky Darts.

Here's what happened.

First Glenn faced off against David. Piker didn't have his regular se of darts and had to go with a back up set. It showed. He managed to pull off a very nice 3 -1- D-1 to go out on 6 and steal the 2nd match. But that was it. 1-2

The Captain faced off against Hal. Again, mediocrity was the result. The Cap took the 2nd with a crisp 8 rounder. Unfortunately, that tasty center was sandwiched between two slices of crap. (Well, maybe not crap, but pretty subpar darts.) 2-4

The Vince got swept by Ed. The odds of that happening? That NEVER happens. But it did. 2-7

In the final frame Big Friendly Tim played Shuhei. The best he could manage was a game and just like that, we were down 3-9.

Glenn and Frank faced David and Ed in cricket. They dropped the first with some average play. In the second game, Glenn and Frank came out with some more fire and cruised to a comfortable win. In the last game, both teams were shooting quite well. Until Frank hit 2 17s, before missing the close with his third dart. Ed responded with 4 17s, and (thanks to inability to hit bulls) the 'Bags never caught up. Frustrating.

Up next was Vince and Colin "The Microwave" O'Donnell. They played Hal and Shuhei. The 'Bags led by Vince's R-5s took the first. Niiiice. We were happy about that. The 'Bags would drop the 2nd one. In the third one, more futility and late in the game the bad guys were up 71 points and had everything closed but the bullseye. So they start shooting 15s. Well, I know the math. But, why not take a crack at the bull a couple of times? In fact, I even asked them that very question. There's a fine line between smart pointing and firing up the other team. They crossed it. Colin stepped up and went D-bull, D-bull and nearly had C-5. He even had a rare word for the opponent.

Colin: That was for the 15s.

All I can say is, WOW. I mean, we can be an intense team. Tim can be brought to anger out of frustration. Frank can be brought to anger by perceived lapses in sportsmanship. Vince? He can be made angry by breathing oxygen. But how in THE hell do you make Colin angry? He's one of the mellowest dudes on the planet, let alone the team. Later he related his state of mind to Frank.

Colin: I've never hit a C-4 before (in league) but I was so mad...all I could see was the bullseye.

I felt like Emperor Palpatine talking to young Anakin.

Yes! Your anger is your power, Colin... Give in to the Darkside!!! But of course, if he did that, he wouldn't be Colin anymore. (He'd be "Darth Colin". And his helmet would obstruct his attempts to eat baklava before the match. He'd never go for it.)

The Dartbags' valiant comeback would fall short. 5-13

Frank and Vince started off doubles against Hal and David. There were 6 more points for the taking and we needed them all to regain our pride. (Or at least 5). But instead, it was more lackluster darts. The good guys of George Keeley dropped the first. In the second game, the 'Bags just couldn't double in. By the time we did, we were down 300 points. The other team was yukking it up. And Captain Furious lived up to his name. T-20, T-20, T-20. A patch for Frank and all of a sudden we had half a chance. (I'm telling you, there's something to this whole "anger thing".) It was probably the least celebrated Ton-80 ever. Who feels like doing a touchdown dance when it makes the score 49-7? Frank finally sunk a D-16, and the 'Bags completed a nice comeback. Then they lost the last one. Damnit. 6-15.

Glenn and Tim picked up the arrows for the last set of the night. Wasn't pretty. They dropped 3, throwing the sort of frustrating darts the rest of us did all night. 6-18. But what sticks in memory was not the darts. (The other team shot well. We didn't.) But the culmination of the evenings mood.

These were nice guys. Guys who shook your hand and wished you well everytime.It wasn't like some teams that have bonafide jerks on the roster who'll slow roll you or talk trash. They were, however; loud.

At first it was ... well, just fine really. Hey, enthusiasm is good.

As the match wore on it became... mildly disconcerting. But hey, we're all drinking, right?

But eventually it became 15-6. And every effort to regain our dignity ended in futility and frustration. At that point, hearing a teeth-rattling "YEAH!!!" after every big round, every win? Well, it was tough to swallow, putting in mildly.

Look, no one likes playing like crap. And it's even worse when you're getting killed. But having a Howard Dean Victory Scream ringing in your head after every possible celebratory occurrence? Let's say it made it difficult to be our usual amiable selves and it had the Captain seeing red.

But what can you do? (I mean besides play better). They kicked our butts, plain and simple. Acknowledge - and move on. And maybe practice a little on the doubles. Bottom line; we need to hit our outs or get ear plugs; and we will be seeing them again.

We play Average Jack at O'Flaherty's next week. It's right on Restaurant Row. Pretty cool. See you there. No Foolin' this time.

All Star Recap

Frank: 660
Tim: 429
Vince: 400
Glenn: 197
Colin: 125

ALMOST HEAVEN...

... WEST VIRGINA!

(And no, it's not a joke. If anyone actually watched the NIT, they'd have seen it live.)

Real write up to follow soon. Hope your sitting down for that one...