Sunday, February 26, 2006

Countdown To March 20

This has to be considered a good omen. The Rallybone is pleased.

Sharpen the arrows, lads.

(PS. It is NOT 3/14. That is a web modification of the original day).

Friday, February 17, 2006

In the Words of Ian Gallagher....

This man MUST be stopped.

He threatens everything we hold dear. (See WSJ article pasted below.)

A Game Born in Pubs Considers Quitting Beer and Cigarettes.Young Darts Players Prefer
Clean, Sober Approach; Barney Tries White Wine

By PAUL BECKETT, February 17, 2006; Page A1

VELDHOVEN, Netherlands -- In the VIP room at the Dutch Open this month, some of the world's greatest darts players prepared for their matches. For a few, that meant an occasional walk through the smoky haze to a practice stage. Mostly it involved sitting in comfy chairs with a stiff drink and a cigarette. On the menu: breaded pork with fries.

Jelle Klaasen, 21 years old, was having none of it. The Dutch player doesn't smoke, drinks nothing stronger than orange juice and weighs in at a slender 165 pounds. His vices include an occasional weekend pizza and a shortage of fruits. The healthy approach, he says, "means I can stay more focused."

Some darts players joke that a balanced diet requires holding a pint of beer in each hand. In their world, Mr. Klaasen is something of an oddity, and a successful one. The unassuming Dutchman has become a symbol for those who have lofty ambitions for a game that developed in the United Kingdom more than a century ago as a boozy, working-class pastime. Dutch darts authorities, who are pushing the clean-living concept, are even dreaming of a spot at the Olympics.

As a virtual unknown, Mr. Klaasen stunned the darts world last month at the BDO Lakeside World Professional Darts Championships in Britain, the most prestigious event in darts. In the final, he beat Raymond van Barneveld, a 38-year-old fellow Dutchman. Mr. Barneveld weighs about 290 pounds. Before the game, to calm his nerves, Mr. Barneveld, known as Barney, says he had his usual tipples of Bacardi-and-orange and Jägermeister.

"Barney wasn't fit enough, he was sweating like a pig and the boy looked like he was practicing with him," says Bobby George, a former world champion from Britain and a commentator for the BBC, which aired the final live. Mr. Barneveld says he lost because the crowd was firmly behind the youngster.

"Jelle lets people see you can play darts without drinking and smoking," said Michael van Gerwen, 16, a Dutch player who has won international tournaments on youth and adult circuits. He is old enough to drink in the Netherlands but says he chooses not to. "You can play better without drink," he says. "You know what you're doing."

The Nederlandse Darts Bond, the Dutch darts association that runs the Dutch Open, banned alcohol and tobacco from the floor of official tournaments about eight years ago, becoming the first national darts association to do so. Even audience members can't drink or smoke as they watch matches, a sharp contrast to the pub-like atmosphere that prevails at tournaments in Britain. Players in Britain and the Netherlands have been barred from smoking or drinking in the middle of games for about 20 years. Tournaments in both countries, however, still provide lounges near the main hall for those in need of a drink either before the games or during intervals.

Many of the world's greatest players say their ability to launch three darts into a cork board with maximum accuracy will be curtailed if they can't steady their hands and relax their minds.

"I drink 'til I get myself settled," says Andy "The Viking" Fordham, a jovial 44-year-old pub owner and world-ranked player. He says that often involves downing 15 to 20 bottles of beer in advance, though for the Dutch Open he switched to white wine. Mr. Fordham says darts doesn't require much physical fitness. A couple of years ago, when he was at the peak of his playing skills, he weighed about 420 pounds, though he has been trying to slim down.

Having booze and cigarettes readily available helps attract darts' biggest stars, typically middle-age Englishmen. "Our roots come from the pubs and clubs of England. Having a drink is all part of it," said Martin "Wolfie" Adams, 49, captain of the England darts team and one of the world's best players. His usual pregame tipple is a few pints of "bitter" -- a dark, English beer. "We all get in the practice room before a game and think 'What time is the bar open.' "

Mr. Adams says it will likely be the next generation of players who will change darts' reputation. Between puffs on a cigarette, he says if tournaments barred alcohol and smoking, he would have to think about whether to participate.

At the Dutch Open, despite the ban, refreshments weren't hard to find for the almost 5,000 players that showed up to compete. Down a tented walkway from the conference hall where games are played stood a marquee tent blasting heavy rock music and serving Heineken.

Helen Hofland, director of the Nederlandse Darts Bond, favors further restrictions on alcohol and cigarettes, but realizes that eliminating them entirely is unrealistic. "If there is no VIP room, I think the players will just go to their hotel rooms and have a drink there," she says. "But they will drink a little less than normal."

Ms. Hofland says her push eventually may help fulfill many players' dream of one day being considered for the Olympics. "If you've got 10 players like Jelle, it's correct to go for the Olympics. If you've got 10 like Fordham, you have to question yourself, 'Are these Olympic players?' " Ms. Hofland asks. "Are you the same as the swimming guys, the skating guys: is it a sport?"

Mr. Klaasen throws his three darts quickly. It takes him a total of four to six seconds to toss them toward the board, compared with the as much as 12 seconds for other players. Commentators think this has the effect of rushing opponents, especially those a little heavy on their feet.

The outcome of the Dutch Open handed a victory to those who say health and fitness don't much matter. Mr. Adams, who had an upset stomach, switched to brandy and Coke from beer, and went on to win the men's doubles competition. Mr. Klaasen didn't make it to the later stages of the men's singles, blaming the demands of his new-found fame for cutting down on his practice time.

In the final, Mr. Barneveld defeated Scotland's Gary Anderson -- a player in better shape than most because he also works in construction -- in a best-of-five-set final by three sets to two.

Mr. Barneveld "doesn't look like the most accomplished sportsman," said Ben Lee, a 26-year-old English darts enthusiast who works in the British prison service and traveled here to watch the tournament. "But he's proven it doesn't really matter."

Still, even Mr. Barneveld concedes that getting in better shape might be a good idea. "I said to myself when I came back from the Lakeside, 'I'm going to lose 30 kilos [66 pounds] this year,' " Mr. Barneveld says. Since then, he has bought a treadmill and has switched his pregame tipple to white wine.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

The Magic of Steaknight


Steakbags Night V: Dylan Prime. By all accounts one of the best steak nights ever, diminished only by the absence of two of our brothers (Pike & RJ).

Many laughs were shared and many elbows were bent that cold winter night celebrating another season of good times and good fellowship. Lou Henry ordered the T-Bone medium. He ate it with potatoes, spinach and washed it down with glass after glass of red wine. (One, fortuitously being from Lambert Vineyards).

The T-Bone soaked up the flavor of 22 ounces worth of fine sirloin and filet deep into its succulent marrow. But it soaked up more than that... much more.

It soaked up the the good times being had that evening. It soaked up the "never say die" mentality and "devil may care" swagger of the men at the table. It soaked up the palpable spirit of fun and brotherhood. The little T-Bone soaked up the very essence of what it means to be The Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Dart Team in NYC (TM).

The Bible holds that God created Eve from Adam's Rib.

On January 20, 2006, The Dart Gods peformed a miracle of their own. They took the rib of an ordinary Texas steer and created.... The Rallybone! (I call him "Angus", the name revealed to me in a dream).

I present to you, The Rallybone! (Photo courtesy of Lillian). Powerful totem imbued with Dartbag mystique and aura! Symbol of good times and good darts! Beacon of light and hope in dark darting times! No bullseye too blocked! No out too high! (barring mathematical impossibility). No comeback slope too steep to climb-- as long as the Dartbags remember who they are!

Encased in gold so that the power within will never fade away, The Rallybone stands as the physical embodiment of the Dartbag Spirit.

To our merry band of Dartbag brothers I say, "Behold, the Rallybone!"

And to our opponents, I say, "Fear the Rallybone"

That is all.

Capt. Furious

Friday, February 03, 2006

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny!

News Bulletin: 2-1-06 (AP) The beloved Dartbags finished 5th in Tuesday A Division for Fall of '05, but managed an impressive 473rd place finish in the Ultimate Showdown -- right before Zorro and after Dick Cheney

The Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Team in NYC (TM) were eventually destroyed by a powerful Pumpkin Bomb, but not before taking out Dharma & Greg, Aquaman, and 3/5ths of N'SYNC, in what can only be termed a successful debut in the apocalyptic tournament.

"Overall we were pleased with the result," said Dartbag sharpshooter, Marty Yoo who also claims to have severely wounded Q-Bert. "I would have liked to have finished off N'SYNC, but that Lance Bass runs faster than you'd think. The sissy."