WRITE UP FOR WEEK #10: SWEET LADY VICTORY

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 11-29-05

Bass! How low can you go? In Five-0?
All the way to zero.
Once again back is the Incredible, the Dart Animals,
The incredible D! (Bags) - Public drunkenness every one.
JJ said. "Drink!" And we got drunk.
Can I tell 'em that the 'Bags never really stunk?
Just spent 2 weeks in a temporary dart funk.
Some dart people, they get delirious.
They tried to bury us. Are you serious?
But now we're back on track 'cause we registered a win.
Check the scoreboard, y'all.... here we go again!

Turn it up! Bring tha noize!

Sorry about that. But wins have been so rare this year, they're worth celebrating. Even with lame rap parodies.

Yes, The Dartbags (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Team in NYC (TM)) are back in the win column, and a good time was had by all. Dartbaguettes (in order of appearance) Nell, Gemma and Hope were there. Superfan Mike Ginz made the scene. And despite the absence of the Dartbag's "creative types" (Lou and Cup, designers and purveyors of original comptemporary housewares, they pulled out a win against Thieves, Fakirs & Rogues (and Tinkers) at Biddy's Pub.

How did it start? The way all our victories start. With Glennjamin setting the tone. A slow first game resulted in a W, but the second game was vintage Pike; a 22 Darter against Jon to stake the 'Bags (mmm,... Stake) to a 2-0 lead.

Captain Furious followed that with solid, unspectacular darts (i.e., 60s). But hitting the outs on at the first opportunity earned him a pair of close ones. 4-0, Good guys.

RJ clearly offended the Dart Gods (they're real, you know) over the last week. He was condemned to wires, 7s and 3s. A few all star rounds weren't enough to right the ship. Barry took two and it 4-2 'Bags.

But then Deep Thoat, Lord Voldemort... or if you prefer, "Vince" came back with solid darts. He took a pair off our host, JJ, to earn two more. Must be Sweeps Week. 6-2 'Bags.

The 'Bags found themselves in the unlikely position of starting Colin O'Donnell in singles. This happens roughly as often as Camryn Manheim says "No thanks, I'll just have a salad." Colin would face off against Gerard, a guy who shot the sickest cricket game we had seen at the time a couple of seasons ago. R-9, R-5, R-5. But Colin, fueled by the savory goodness of "Taco Taco!", hung in there and nailed a Double 20 to take the first.

The second match provided one of the more entertaining brainfarts of the season. Colin on 40, missed to the southwest and hit a 5. On 35, he stood eyeing the board... the way Britney Spears would look at an SAT. Still staring, Frank offered some advice, "Hit a 3. And don't miss low". Still looking at the board, blinking. RJ piped up, "Hit a 3, Colin!". Still nothing. (Is he all right? Do we check his pulse? His lips are moving...) Finally he let fly: A big fat 2. What the??? Next dart: a 16. And Gerard double out on his turn ending the match.

Later we asked him, "Did you hear us?". "Yes", was all he said.

Colin O'Donnell, ladies and gentleman. Unpredictable to the end.

He dropped the second, but hats off to the Microwave. 7-3

Up next, The Big Friendly, facing another tough competitor, Harlan. Tim dropped the first one, remarkably registering his first singles loss of the year. But BFT redouble his efforts (literally) and helped along the way by a 3T3, sealed the deal. 8-4 'Bags.

How long has it been since I've gotten to write that? Things were looking up for the squad and people were drinking and cheering and enjoying the cozy confines of Biddy's Pub (Where old and new friends meet).

But we remembered what happened last time we got to the midway point feeling good about ourselves.... (we got beaten like a rented mule).

Wary of that we sent out Vince and Tim against Harlan and Gerard. We walked away empty-handed. Dang. 8-6

Pike and RJ picked up the slack by taking the first off Jay and Barry. And then, in the second game, it looked like the two Eagles Fans had the game sown up. With a big lead and a cork or two to win it, it looked like another Dartbag sweep. But a big round from Barry kept the hosts alive and somehow -- I'm still not sure how (seriously, I'm not) -- the Biddy's crew rallied and pulled a Houdini act to take the match. Unbelievable comeback. In congratulating them, JJ remarked, "That was the match of the night". And it was. For them. But there was another match later to which we would give that same title. 9-7.

(Mmm.... That's good literary foreshadowing.)

Frank and Marty got off to a slow start and never did close the gap all the way. JJ and Jon took the first. But some 4+ rounds from Frank and closes from Marty gave the 'Bags a lead they would not relinquish and the Keeley crew took back a point. 10-8.

In the final round, nursing a 2 point lead, the 'Bags sent RJ and Marty out first. They doubled in quickly. Shot well. But the damn doubles eluded them, and a solid effort resulted in no wins. Tied 10-10.

Vince and Frank then played the team of Harlan and Gerard who had earlier swept cricket. The 'Bags got in a hole early and never could pull out. Score another for H/G. In the second game a 0T5-On by Harlan started the 'Bags in another hole. Tons by Gerard lenghtened the lead. But every time Gerard would hit a Ton, Vince would answer back with a Ton of his own. Every time. The other team was shaking their heads. (Is there anyone on the planet hates losing more than Vince?) With the Biddys sitting on 40, Frank sank a double 2 to take back a much needed point. 11-11

Tie score. 2 points left for the taking. Pike and Tim would take on Barry and Jay to decide the balance of the match. The good guys took the first to clinch the tie, but the big story was the last game. Barry and Jay had heated up and hitting 80+ rounds. They had built a fat lead that they maintained all the way down. With the 'Bags sitting on 103 and Biddy's on 32, untrained observers would have said we were dead. Not so. On his first dart, Glenn hit a trip 20, putting him on 43. The room suddenly got much quieter. Next dart... a 3. Glenn took his time, lined it up and the third dart.... Double 20! Dartbags win!... Dartbags win!..... THUUUUUUHH DARTBAGS WIN!!!

Huge out from Glenn. Absolute dart larceny that earned the 'Bags their second win of the year. It called to mind another game ending, miracle win down at White Horse 4 seasons ago, when we officially renamed the number 105, "Pike".

What a great ending to a fun night. People were into it. But not too into it. We played competitive darts all night, which kept suspense up. Every Dartbag contributed to the W column. And Glenn's big out sent us off on a high note. Plus Biddy's was a cool place. Good atmosphere. Good people. A tip of the cap to the Thieves, the Fakirs, and the Rogues for being good hosts and fun to play against.

Next week we get McCarthy's at the GK. We'll look to keep it rolling.

That is All.

-El Capitan.

All Star Recap:

Vince: 397 (Counterpunching with Tons)
Pike: 326 (Uberclutch 103-Out earns the win)
RJ: 309 (Dangerous when angry)
BFT: 248 (Killing the 19s)
Cap: 235 (Missed another patch by a wire)

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #9: HALF IN THE 'BAG

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 11-22-05

The Holiday Schedule and a turkey hangover that is still in effect delayed the write up for this week. But after the tryptophan had run its course and the blogging began, the result from a week earlier remained the same, an 18-6 beatdown for the Dartbags (Most Drinkin'est and Friendliest Team in the NYDO (TM)) at O'Hanlon's.

There was a good sized crowd packed into the backroom at O'Hanlon's to enjoy the precedings. The 'Bag contingent was in full effect (all nine, plus Bag Lady Nell), O'Hanlon's had their crew. There were even guest appearances by idle Fockers, Neil and Craig, presumbably there to watch the Dartbags shock the world with an upset over the first place team.

Despite inspiration from Chuck Norris's feats of manliness and the distribution of motivational stickers obtained from a Chuck E. Cheese vending machine by El Capitan, it was not to be.

In a line up shake up, the 'Bags sent out the Captain to face off against Jamie Donovan. The big guy was on auto pilot and cruised to two wins 0-2.

Time for Round 2. It was a good one. Cup in his blue wool cap renewed acquaintance with Damien in his brown wool cap in what would become known as "The Battle of the Hats".

Tony: Loser has to take off his hat and have it pinned up behind the bar!

In the first game Cup threw a Ton-14, leaving him on 96. First dart, T-20, second dart, Single 18, third dart.... BANG! Double 9. A big 96 out for Cuppa and the 'Bags were on the board in fine style.

In the second match, Damien caught fire throwing 3 all star rounds and busting on 127 before taking the W.

Both men retained their hats. And their dignity. 1-3

RJ took on Tony in round 3. Historians say the Roman Empire fell in the 5th Century. Historians were wrong. The Roman Empire was back with a vengeance Tuesday at O'Hanlon's, Some of the sickest darts we've encoutered. Game 1: 95...Ton... Ton-80 and like that Tony was looking at a 126 out and a potential 12 Dart game. Make it a 16 Darter. 325 more ASPs in game 2 (700 for the two games) helped make it 2 more wins. As good darts as we've seen all year.

Veni, Vidi, Vici, (Ouchi) 1-5

CAPTAIN'S NOTE: There is one Dartbag who's name shall no longer appear on the website. (Should the forces of evil learn of his whereabout the results would be catastrophic). Therefore, it is now official Dartbag policy that his name cannot be revealed. So new nicknames are in order, something that captures his mysterious nature. Early favorites include "Deep Throat", "The Shadow", and "Lord Voldemort" (aka "He Who Shall Not Be Named"). But we can sort that out later. Now back to darts.

Deep Throat faced off against Juan in a pair of humdingers. In game one Deep Throat landed on 122. First dart, Trip 18...second dart, Trip 20, leaving 8 left... third dart -- single 8! A nearly spectacular out from the Nameless Wonder! He would hit a double 4 on his next dart to seal it. Juan would take game 2 to earn the split. 2-6

In the next set, Glenn "McDreamy" Pike in the unaccustomed role of the 5 slot, played Pat, who proudly adorned himself with a shiny sticker that said "Snow Princess". The Piker dropped the first match to Her Highness, but started looking a bit more like his old self in the second match and pulled out the split. It can now be said that IYH has notched victories in games against Jamie Donovan AND Pat Timmes this season. 3-7

Big Friendly Tim would take on Andre in the final set of singles matches. (His Latin name is actually Enormous Gregarious Timicus.) What can you say about Tim this season? It's been a breakout year. BFT registered 231 ASPs en route to a sweep that brought the tally 5-7. Great stuff.

And with half the points gone for the evening, the 'Bags were trailing the O'Hanlon's juggernaut 5-7. We were Half in the 'Bag in every sense of the word. That's pretty damn good! Especially if you consider they had us down 10-2 last time.

Then came cricket. The game we use to call "our game" was anything but. I will spare the gory details -- there may be children reading this -- but suffice it to say, we got shut out. And with that our 5-7 game became a 5-13 game.

In the last set, the 'Bags teamed Cuppa Joe with Lou (who had just arrived on the scene). They dropped a pair to Jamie and Pat.

Next Pike and Voldemort took on Damien and Andre. The 'Bags took the first - helped by Pike's 95-On, but dropped the second and earned a split, putting a momentary halt to the bleeding.

The last match featured the first ever pairing of Farticus and Colin. The crowd assembled at O'Hanlon's didn't give the underdog Dartbags much of a chance. In fact, the following exchange was overheard between Marty and a local tuff.

Local Tuff: You're in over your head, pal. Quit now before you embarass yourself.
Marty: Quit? I guess someone must've torn out the "Q" section in my dictionary... because I don't know the meaning of the word "quit".

And with steel in voice and a steely glint in his eye, Marty proceeded to double in right away... game on! Marty and Colin made a game of it in the first one and had a shot at a double 20 out before Tony stole the victory from them. They made a go of it in the second leg as well but fell short. Nonetheless, they exhibited the never say die/go down swinging/fight to the finish attitude that has made the Dartbags probably the most beloved dart team in all of North America.

And that was that. A tough loss. Especially after getting off to a promising start.But this is a team that recently smacked another A team 22-2. Also consider this: Yes we lost 18-6, but they had 5 guys who recorded more ASPs than our high man for the day (323). What does that mean? Well, it means a couple of things. One is that they are very, very good. Another is that we didn't play that well. In fact this was our lowest All Star total for the year. (Yes, ASPs do not equal good play, but there is a strong correlation -- just look at who's on the All Star Team).

So we played mediocre darts against the defending champs and managed to put ourselves in position to get a respectable result (needed a few more points to achieve that, I think) but we also drank well and had a lot of laughs. It was a fun evening despite the ass-whoopin. Next week we play at Biddy's. They will be better than they were the last time we played them. Trust me.

See you there.

All Star Recap:
Pike: 323
BFT: 225
Deep Throat: 218
Cup: 210
Cap: 100
Colin: 100 (Congrats to the Microwave, first ASPs in limited play this year)

Thank YOU, Chuck Norris!

The match against O'Hanlon's on Tuesday will be a great challenge. -- Much like the one faced by Chuck Norris in Braddock: Missing in Action III.

To focus and inspire the troops for the battle ahead I give you...

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

Be there Tuesday at O'Hanlon's

Be there like Chuck.

That is all.

-El Capitan

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #8: BATTLE OF THE WEST SIDE

7:29 PM, November 15.

Autumn in New York. People write songs about it. Make movies with Cary Grant holding some dame's hand as they stroll through Central Park and look at the pretty colors. But this was no Hollywood picture. This was dart night on the gritty, gutty Upper West Side, somewhere between West Hell and Heartbreak Avenue. Nobody writes a happy ending for you up here. You take what you can get.

Pike leaned back against the wall outside of George Keeley, and took a slow drag off his Parliament. He kicked restlessly at the broken pavement, "It's quiet in there."

"Too quiet," said Vince.

"That'll change soon enough", said Pike. Vince, nodded his silent agreement, reached into his pocket and fished out a tin of Kodiac. "What you packin' tonight?"

"Widows. 23. " Vince turned and spat on the cracked sidewalk, "Fixed point."

The wind rushed through the thinning trees and carried the sound of a dog barking somewhere in the distance. The November wind on Amsterdam Avenue sends a chill right through you, makes you turn your collar up and your head down. But not tonight.

"It's hot out here".

Vince nodded. "Too hot."

The Dartbags (Drinkin'est and Friendliest Team in the NYDO - TM) were taking on the Gaf West gang; Hell's Kitchen boys. Usually they didn't wander this far north. They knew their place. But tonight the West Gaffers were on Dartbag turf. That meant one thing: trouble. Pike looked up at the full moon. Could be one of those nights, he thought. He took one last drag off the Parliament and crushed it out on the asphalt, "No matter how it goes down in there... I got your back".

Vince said nothing. He didn't need to. He just spat one last time out on the street. The two men looked across the street in silence. Then Vince put out one fist,

"Let's do this thing." Pike met the fist with his own. And with that they turned and entered the bar...

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 11-17-05

After a disappointing loss, an absolute drubbing and two weeks off, the 'Bags were ready to play some darts. They would take on the West Gaf in a battle for supremacy on Manhattan's West Side.

The 'Bags sent IYH Pike up first to face off against Rob. Pike got out of the gate a little slowly before turning on the jets in game two to get the good guys on the board. 1-1

Frank squared off againt Brian and dropped a pair of close ones. The son of a gun just wouldn't miss an out. 1-3

Lou shot well in his set, but likewise dropped a pair, this time to Pat. It was another Claustrophobic match... no windows, and for a moment that sinking feeling returned to GK. 1-5

Vince tangled with the newly acquired Omer in a couple of humdingers. Excellent darts by both and after dropping the first one, 'Cenzo pulled out the second to stop the bleeding. 2-6

We really needed someone to step up. Cup answered the bell. Some fancy shooting (and strange all stars; 116? 132? How do you even get those?) led Cup to a much needed sweep over Tom and the 'Bags almost had their head above water. 4-6

RJ faced off against Dave and couldn't get it going. He dropped the first. The never satisfied one was already unhappy. The delight his opponent took in defeating him did nothing to improve his disposition.

Frank: "There's no way he's gonna let himself lose this one now"

Pike: "Yep".

So, drinking deep from his cup of bitterness and self-loathing, RJ redoubled his efforts and after some suspense, operated on the XX to end singles on a good note. 5-7.

Cuppa Lou started the 'Bags off in cricket against the Irishmen, Walsh and Malone. It only took a couple of bad rounds to create the difference. The Gaffers created the coveted "Snowdem Poll" on the scoreboard (circles all the way down) and walked away with a pair. 5-9

In a bit of a shake up the 'Bags decided to pool some of their firepower and put Pike and Vince ("The Big Dipper") together as a team. It worked. Darts ranged from nasty to sick -- 3 every time -- and the GlennVincent got two off Rob and Omer. 7-9

Frank and RJ took on Tom and Dave in the last set. The good guys dropped the first when they couldn't drive the nail into the coffin. In the second late heroics from Frank (2 C-3s) and RJ (who should change his name from RJ to R7) were not enough to overcome a slow start. And when Dave C-3'ed it to snactch the win, the bad guys had taken two more. 7-11

7-11. Good convenience store. Bad dart score. The 'Bags had to turn it up a notch if they wanted to walk away with a good result.

Frank, still fuming from cricket teamed up with Marty to renew hostilities with Tom and Dave. The first one was a close affair that featured a Ton-21 from Farticus. Not enough. In the second match, FrankenFart again went in right away, a ton by the capt. and 3 60+ rounds by Marty provided edge in a nailbiter. Frank took out a double 5 for an 8 Round win. Good darts all around.

Pike teamed with Big Friendly Tim (who played his first darts in over a month) vs Rob and Omer. Despite the layoff, BFT would make his large (and amiable) presence felt. Pike provided the artillery in the first, with a double in, double out and with 237 ASPs.

The second game was the match of the night. It would feature some highlight reel stuff, but it started out like a clunker. The 'Bags forgot how to double in and spotted the Gaffers a lead. Then Tim remembered how and got them in on 32. They had some catching up to do. But Pike hit a Ton-27 and pretty soon the 'Bags were back in it. With the Gaffers holding a 40 pt lead on 141, Omer stepped up. First dart, T-20. Second dart, T-15... holy sh*t... Third dart... just high on the double 18. The whole bar let out a collective "OOOOOHH!!". Almost a huge out. Pike answered with a solid 83 to quietly put Tim on 92 (Captain's Note: At the risk of foreshadowing... this is why you HAVE to pay attention to giving your partner good leaves). Rob stepped up and the the Bags dodged a bullet when he wired the Double 18. Then Tim stepped up. Remembering his riflery training, he did his patented "one eyed sniper squint". Zzzzzzzip. Trip 20. Next dart... squint... pump.... fire.... DOUBLE 16!

And a might roar went up from the crowd! Glasses were raised! (Manly) hugs exchanged! And there was much rejoicing among the Keeley faithful. Great game all around. Great big darts by Tim, taking out 92 with a dart in his hand. And with that it was 10-12.

But back to business. Vince'nCup had their work cut out for them. The deadly Walsh-Malone combo had been rolling all night. 8 and O between the two of them. The 'Bags got out of the gate slowly. Suicide against guys like this. Vince's heroic 102-On and Ton-40 were not enough. The 'Bags got within seeing distance before the bad guys took it out. (Walsh-Malone... 10 and 0). But in the second game the 'Bags hung in there and when Cup took out X, the 'Bags took one more point to make it a respectable, if disappointing, 11-13 finish.

I know 12-12 sounds a lot better than 11-13. But in my book 11-13 sounds a hell of a lot better than 10-14. When it's 10-14, not even a field goal helps you out. 11-13 is a near even contest. Great dart night all around. All 'Bags were present except the enigmatic Microwave, Colin O'Donnell who had his Bi-Annual Meeting of the Free-Masons to attend in their underground temple deep beneath Grand Central Station. (I'm not kidding. The Society of Masons exist And their presence in this city is all to real, holding positions of power at every conceivable level of goverment and busines... but I fear I've already said too much.)

Thanks to Nell and Hope, The 'Bag Ladies (somehow I don't think that one will catch on) for contributing their good cheer as well as Emily and Ginz for making the scene. My apologies to those I forgot. This was a great dart night, folks. The Gaffers were as nice a bunch of guys as you could hope to meet. We played some pretty good darts and all players contributed. And perhaps most importantly, we set a record Bar Tab for the year, pushing 4 Bills. (Which reminds me... if anyone forgot to pay.... talk to Vince/Glenn.) Sure we wanted more wins. And yes, there were times when we were disappointed in our play or simply lost to better darts, but overall this was a what dart night is all about. Good work. Almost forgot... Line of the Night.

Tom Lally, the white-haired gentleman on the other team, commenting on Vince's shooting and presence that evening:

Tom: "He's a really good shot. Right on everything (pause).... not the most approachable guy..."

Indeed he is not, Tom, God love him.

Megaprops all around but especially to Cup for his needed sweep, Pike for his studly darts, Vince for his nasty darts, and Tim for his heroics.

All Star Round Up.

Pike: 656
Vince: 467
Cup: 388
Frank: 340
RJ: 240
Lou: 198
Marty: 121
Tim; (honorary 92)

Next week at O'Hanlon's. Remember those guys? See you then.