Final Showdown at The GK: Intro to Week 14

He pulled his black 2005, Cadillac Escalade onto 84th Street, the strains of Air Supply's "All Outta Love" audible to all he passed. A broad shouldered man stepped out, dressed impeccably in a crisp blue cotton shirt and newly pressed slacks. The gang of local punks sitting on the stoop across the street eyed this strange figure... and his fine car. The man locked eyes with the leader of the crew, a bandanaed tough with a scar running the length of his eye, and walked directly over to him. The crew stirred uneasily.

The broad shouldered man spoke.

"You see that car?" he said, "That car has a stereo in it. And it's tuned to 106.7 Light FM, soft rock hits from the 70s, 80s, and 90s... it better be that way when I get back. Capice?" The punk nodded. The man took a sawbuck from his coat pocket and slipped it into his hand. Then he turned and made his way around the corner to the saloon.

The ladies on the corner saw him coming, whispered to each other and nodded. "Hey, Mistah! You wanna date?" The man looked up at the streetwalker. He grinned, then shook his head. "Not tonight, sweetheart." Tonight there was something else on his mind. The final showdown with some Hell's Kitchen boys who had wandered too far north. He'd met this crew before down in their neighborhood. They were not to be taken lightly. No, tonight wasn't about pleasure. It was about business. And it was an emergency.

They always call me in an emergency, he thought.

He pushed open the finely engraved door that said "George Keeley" and entered. The man behind the bar was drying glasses with a white cloth. He saw him enter and immediately began pouring a Magic Hat #9. The bartender set it down with a fresh copy of the New York Post so that it was waiting for the man at his seat.

"And some aiming fluid."

"Comin' right up, Mr. Yoo!". The bartender poured three fingers of Jameson's Irish Whiskey.

The broad shouldered man downed the whiskey in one slow motion.

"Another one, Mr. Yoo?", the bartender said, reaching for the bottle.

"Not yet, Drew. Gotta stay sharp tonight." He jerked his head toward the dartboard in the corner, "I got business to take care of." Then he tucked a copy of the Post under his arm and got up from his barstool. "But first," he continued, "... I got business to take care of." And with that, the broad shouldered man strode past the board and disappeared into the back of the bar...

To be continued...

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #13: FLATTENED AT FLANNERY'S

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 6 - 12 - 06

It was a comedy of errors at Flannerys' Monday night. First, Rob E filled out the line up sheet that belonged to the people playing next to us, resulting in a confused, and perhaps terrified, bunch of B Leaguers. Then someone dumped a beer on the scoresheet, resulting in the need for refills (the sheet and the beer). Frank contributed to the saga, by starting to write in the Dartbag cricket line up on the wrong side but caught himself. Undeterred, Frank proceeded to fill out the entire line up for double '01 on the wrong side. Thankfully, Roger was present to bring order to the chaos and ensure that we wouldn't be penalized. Unfortunately, the score sheet had a better night than we did.

The Dartbags (Most drinkin'est and friendliest dart team in NYC TM) faced off against familiar foes, Who Darted?, down at Flannery's. They are a team that we usually play even. But not this time. The good guys dropped the contest 15-9.

Absent from the proceedings were usual 'Bag stalwarts Marty and BFT. The Microwave made a Cameo. Dartbaguttes, Hope, Nellie and Gemma were there providing good cheer (and receiving what appeared to be an all time record fro bear hugs from friends on other teams.)

We started out by sending out reigning A-2 MVP, Glenn Pike, playing at the bar in which he earned that honor. Unfortunately, the familiar surroundings were not enough to overtake a painful thumb injury. That, and the fact that Rob T was down to 118 after just 3 rounds. (W0w.) Rob T won the first. But Glenn responded strong in game two to draw blood and even the match. He lost a naibiter in the 3rd leg, and the 'Bags were down

The Capt. followed against Ken. The first was a lackluster affair in which the players hit more "40 somethings" than George Hamilton at a Beverly Hills PTA meeting. But Frank managed to stick a double 10 for the W. Then he took the second. The third game devolved into a X vs. X battle that should not be viewed by young, impressionable dart players. But a missed board seemed to snap Frank out of the funk and he thankfully stuck the last one. That 3 wins for the good guys and suddenly we had a 4-2 lead.

Up next was Vince against Rob E. Vince, clad in his traditional "Bloody Mary's" souvenir t-shirt also consumed his tradtional pre-game meal (fittingly?) the whitest sandwich known to Man: Turkey and cheese with mayo... on white. (Can I get a quart of whole milk with that please? And a Pat Boone LP?). The delicious and nutiritous pre-game meal did its job, focusing Vince's mind and body, as he surged to victory doubling out while the opponent was barely under 200. However, the double-edged sword that is "turkey on white" negatively impacted our angry friend when the tryptophan kicked in. Rob E began to find his groove and took the final two matches. 5-4, 'Bags.

Joey Pep went up against long time 'Bag nemesis, Kats. Cup never quite found his groove. (Unless, by groove you mean the Triple 7, in which case he found it every other turn.) Kats wasn't super sharp, but it was enough. 3 wins for the bad guys and at the end of the singles, the 'Bags trailed 5-7.

Frank and Cup started up cricket against Kats'nKen. The Furious One was on his game, dropping R-6s and R-5s. They built up a solid lead, closed the numbers and when Cup popped the last cork, they had taken the first. Kats'nKen came back strong in the second match, aided by a big R-6 from Mark and won a close one in the sequel. Some more Furious darts with Cuppa chipping in provided the difference in the rubber match. And the D'Bags had done something they haven't done enough of this year: "win" cricket. For what its worth, this was clearly Frank's best cricket of the season, and he vows now to drink cider during all upcoming cricket matches. 7-8.

Vince and Glenn took on the Robs. It was a frustrating match for the 'Bags. The Robbed us blind. 7-11.

Vince and Cup teamed up for the doubles 01. We just didn't have our mojo. It doesn't take much to lose in this league. The windows of opportunity are small, often shuttered, and sometimes non-existent. They were hitting their outs. We weren't. The skid continued. 7-14

We needed to change things up. Much like Rocky Balboa in his first title fight against Apollo Creed, Glenn switched to southpaw in Double 01, throwing left-handed to relieve pressure on his thumb. What the hell? Nothing else was working. The 'Bags trailed much of the way, but the WhoDarted?s stalled out at the end and Frank stole it with a first dart D-12. In the second match, the 'Bags got a sniff of a double out, but Kats and Ken were up to the task. With one match left, Frank was losing his battle to Woodpecker Cider, pain or no pain, Glenn would need to step up.

The other team was on 32. We were on 8. We could sense it would be our last chance. 1st dart - miss. 2nd dart - miss. I swear the strains of The Natural started playing in the distance, time slowed down, and if you looked closely, you could see the bloodstain from his operation spreading on the side of his shirt... Final Dart? Well let's just say there is Willis Reed. Kirk Gibson. Kerri Strug.... and Glenn Pike. Way to suck it up and end the night on a high note.

So we lost 9-15 in another subpar effort. As Vince was heard to say in commentary:

Vince: Lost season.

Yep. Afraid so. We will continue our quest (our goals seemingly becoming more modest each week) to finish out of the cellar. We will have to do so without Big Friendly Tim and without Vince (Congratulations, Vince and Jane. Enjoy Fiji.). We play the Taint, a team we outscored last time. See you at George Keeley.

That is all.

Capt. Furious

WRITE UP FOR WEEK 12: WWLMD?

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 6 - 11 - 06

In retrospect, perhaps using a tape of the USA's World Cup opener against the Czech Republic wasn't the best motivational tactic. The Dartbags took on Carlos and the MYOB crew and looked every bit like DeMarcus Beasley going up against the Czech defender Marek Jankulvoski. And I think we all know what I'm talking about there.

A while back the Dartbags played the Fockers and we brought Chuck Norris facts to the match for entertainment purposes. This time, Carlos brought along something similar, Lastings Milledge facts available at www.lastingsmilledgefacts.com. It helps to be a baseball fan, but I must say these jokes are knowledgable, witty and consistently hilarious. What makes this so amazing is that were apparent produced by fans of the New York Mets. And lets face it, by and large Met fans are NOT the sharpest tools in the shed. There was a Met fan who worked at my office. It took us half an hour to explain to him how the paperweight worked. Know what I'm saying?

It was good to be back throwing a few after a 3 week layoff. The mood was mellow, even listless at the GK with only 2 Dartbags present. But we had Lillian there to claim the table and make us look good. She held down the fort, and the rest of the crew rolled in before long. Pike and Nell, Vince, Tim, Colin, Marty, Gemma. And then Hope showed up with her new beau and three other guys. (Do dart groupies have groupies now? How does that work?).

Frank kicked things off against Carlos. The Captain somehow misplaced his beloved (and painfully expensive) Black Widow MPs and went into battle with his old set from his C league days. And he proceded to shoot C league darts. In truth, it likely wouldn't have made much difference. Some big time darts by 'Los, including a 20 darter and a 21 darter, made for some quick matches. And his 730 ASPs kept Lillian, who was pressed into scorekeeper duty, as busy as a court stenographer. 0-3

Next up was Cup. We needed a win badly, and for the first game Cup was "World Cup" finishing off a his victory with a stylish 105-Finish (T-19, D-16 huh?, D-8). Outstanding effort and it kept the High On/Out streak alive. But Andre was a giant. He threw 661 ASPs and took the next two games in impressive fashion. 1-5.

And the Dartbags were feeling like Oguchi Onyewu after Pavel Nedved slipped a thru-pass to Tomas Rosicky.

Uh huh. Exactly.

Pike faced off against against Jackie. Jackie always seems to play well against us and go out ASAP. Today was no exception. She went out efficiently in the first two before Glennjamin found his form in the final match to once again cap the Dartbag bleeding. 2-7

Vincenzo the stopper was 4th. He faced off against the good looking half of Team Santiago. Vince was tough, throwing consistent darts and establishing leads. Four Tons along the way didn't hurt. He took 3 off of Sybil and the with that the Dartbags were back in it. 5-7

At least they were. Next was cricket.

We sent out Vince and Pike in an effort to get back on track. Didn't work. Andre and Jackie were just as sharp as they were in '01, with Andre chipping in for a couple of all star turns. (Can someone check him for steroids?). The 'Bags got swept and like that it was 5-10. Ouch.

CuppaTim played Team Santiago in the final set. The 'Bags dropped the first and seemed poised to drop the second. More sloppy darts led to a huge hole, but they started crawling their way out on bullseyes. Eventually, with the MYOBs poised to hit one bullseye for the win, Tim pulled out the highlight of the evening. First dart bullseye, to get up in points, 2nd dart... a Triple 19 (worth 2) for the close, and the final dart.... right in the heart of 16 to close the number and the match. GINORMOUS darts by the Big Friendly to end the cricket slide. The key?

Tim: I didn't rush the third dart, but I didn't take too long either.

Word up.

In game 3, the Santiagos won a close one, thanks to a bullseye winner from Sybil that had the MYOB squad all fired up.

Such was cricket. Seems like I say that every week now.

On to Double '01 where Frank and Vince played together in the first. With Vince there Frank asked to use his 23 MP Widows which are the same make and model as his lost darts. Knowing Frank had brought his own dart accessories, Vince asked him the sort of question that in any other context get you slapped, arrested or defrocked...

LINE OF THE NIGHT (TM)

Vince: Do you want to play with my shafts?

Tim: Hey now!

Vince: What?... Oh, great. That one's going on the blog.

Oh, yeah. (Juvenile? Sure. But that's funny. I don't care who you are.)

FrankenVince didn't throw great darts, but they got in quickly and managed to get out pretty quickly as well. They took the first, taking advantage of a late in by the Andre and Jackie. In the second game, Andre continued his All Star Run (over 1100 for the night) with a Ton and T-20 and the bad guys took a close one. In game 3, Vince was every bit a Zdenek Grygera by hitting 99 to set Frank up on 32. But Frank was more Landon Donovan than Jan Koller and blew the easy chance, making the game way to interesting. The Captain would eventually stick a D-3 for redemption and the final point. 8-13.

The Santiagos played CuppaTim in a rematch. Sybil stuck a D-16 out to take the first point.

However, during the the second leg, the night produced some unwanted drama. A large, drunk bar patron knocked over the scoreboard for the 3rd time that night while Frank was chalking. Frank informed him of this fact -- of which he was apparently unaware -- and pointed out that usually people say "excuse me" when they do things like that. Drunk guy failed to see the merit of Frank's argument and got in Frank's face to let him know. Frank told the guy he was out of line and turned his back on him to fix the scoreboard. Drunk guy stood right behind Frank for about 5 very long seconds waiting for him to turn around. When Frank did, it turns out the guy just wanted to utter an insult and leave. Drama over. And (thankfully) no fireworks. But it made for a suspenseful moment.

Cup: Guy, if he had made one move towards you--

BFT: -- If he'd flinched.

Frank: Normally I wouldn't turn around like that, but I knew you guys had my back.

Cup: Not just us. Me and Andre looked at each other and put down our darts. Carlos was right there ready too.

And to me, that's the only point of relating a story like this one. Confrontation... angry drunk... whatever. Not important. It's the reaction of the people not involved that's significant. The Dartbags have a dynamic that is different from most, if not all other teams in the league. We are not a dart team that became friends. We are friends who formed a dart team. Most of us went to school together. Some friendships go back to all the way to the nursery school years. Our loyalty to one another is never in question. You count on your old friends.

But you normally don't count on your new friends. It says a lot about the character of the people on M.Y.O.B. They were there right there ready to help in a nasty spot as well. I don't think most opposing teams would stick their necks out in the various other leagues around the city. But they do in the NYDO. There are other teams who he know would've react the same way.

Andre: We're like a little family. We look out for each other.

Well said. And its very much appreciated.

Back to darts. The 'Bags took game two, thanks to a very late in by the MYOBS, BFT's timely 117, and Cup sinking the game winner. The final match of the added a comedic element to the proceedings with Cup turning a "40 out" into a 3. This led to a giggle. Which led to a chuckle which then turned into a tension breaking fit of laughter that eventually had everybody cracking up, including Cup. It was a classic "I know I shouldn't be laughing right now, but that only makes it funnier"situations, the kind you had in church when you were five years old and your brother farted during the homily. But Cup wrote the comedy a happy ending by eventually nailing the dreaded 1, D-1 out. And we ended the night with a nice run to salvage double digit points.

It was a good night but a frustrating one as well. You don't want to lose to anyone 10-14, especially the team you're tied with. But considering we down 1-7, the comeback was... actually, we still sucked. There's really no way to dress this one up, I'm afraid. But despite the palpable frustration, there was some good laughs, some (manly) bonding, and we were introduced to Sierra Nevada Torpedo IPA. So congrats to the MYOBs for being cool and like the USA Soccer team, we'll look to rebound next game against the mighty Italians. And by mighty Italians, I mean "Who Darted?" down at Flannery's. See you there.

-Capt. Furious

ASPs.

Vince: 499
Pike: 440
BFT: 225
Cup: 200

And on a completely different note.... behold the BEER CANNON!