Tuesday, September 18, 2007

'Weak' 1 Marathon Match

'Bags Tie Nomads
Sans 'The Hornet's Nest'
In Marathon of Mediocrity

By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

This wasn't the way we drew it up.

Quite Frankly...I think we stunk.

Steve Sterns said it was a B-league match.
That's being kind. It was after 1am by the
time Frank put the final nail in the dartboard.
Appropriately, it was a stellar double-17.

Nice leave...now let's get the [heck] out of here.

It was absurdly, and embarrassingly late.

In the end, it was a tie: 12-12, against the Gaf's
'Nomads No More'.

Now, I hear Frank saying to me, "I think you're
being a little hard on us, guy...", although, I assure
you, Cpt. Furious' cheerios didn't go down so easy
this morning.

Here's the deal: our expectations are much higher
this season. Thats a big reason why I say we
stank up the joint. That, and we all shot our
low % game, but I don't want to belabor that point.

We finished last season strong.

We all had personal highs in ASP's. I, Cuppa, and the Captain,
both broke the 1000 pt/match barrier for the first time.
Vince was averaging about 600 a week.

Glenn reworked his game around his broken thumb,
and was starting to look more and more like the old IYH,
with a new grip and delivery.

BFT drank the entire beer library at George Keeley,
cementing his legendary status at 'the jeek'; a gold plate,
bearing his name, now hangs on the GK wall-of-fame.

Most of us also had our highest winning percentages
to date. Except Glenn. He set his bar just a bit higher
a couple of years ago, blowing away the field with an
83% winning percentage, en route to the A2 mvp award.

We had some great practice rounds this summer, at
the Irish Rover in Astoria (legendary darts pub),
the Gaf East with The White Hawk, Tom Lally,
'the thunderdome' in Glenn's living room, on his nasty
old practice board, where nothing sticks, and the
trebles look like dental floss.

All of this had us pretty jacked up for the season,
and couldn't wait to smack some big darts around.

But Vince had to fly to San Francisco for a last
minute business trip, so 'The Hornet's Nest' would
be exterminated for opening night.

Glenn was praying to the porcelain god all night
long, after getting food poisoning sunday evening,
we think from the chicken vindaloo, which was the
only thing we didnt both have.

Couldn't have been the Hill Country BBQ. That
stuff is nasty good.

IYH did manage to make it...though still "sick like dog".
(TM, our good friend EDNA)

BFT had some work related obstacles he couldn't get
around, so he was out as well. I actually have no idea
why he couldn't make it, but he couldn't and he wasn't.

And Colin, The Microwave, was...microwaving.

So...this is who the Dartbags would go to battle with:

'El Capitan de Furioso', Frank Murtha
'IYH', Glenn Arthur Pike
Mike 'GINS' Ginsberg, aka 'The Rocktologist'
Cuppa Joe Gasparino

Again, final score from the Gaf East:


Here's what happened:

Me, Gins and Frank showed up early, and got a little
warm-up from The White Hawk. On second thought,
it wasn't much of a warm-up. And The Hawk was more
like Stephen 'Hawk'ing, sweeping down upon us
with talk of theoretical physics and existentialism,
which got us off track. Mind games from the Gaf's
loyal predator. It would prove to be effective.

Pints all around...ball-games on the tube...jukebox loaded
up with some good tunes...we were ready to roll.

Singles 501

Furious (vs) Joe Murray

It was slow-going for both guys, although Joe did manage
to smack 595 asp's. Overall, the games did go alot longer
than expected...a trend that would carry through the
entire night. Frank took 2/3, including an 8 rounder,
going out on 52 (5, 15, d-32). Score a T, T01 for Frank.
Less than normal, but enough to take 2 from a good shot
in Joe Murray, who said he hadn't touched a dart since
last season.

IYH (vs) Dave Smith

Glenn usually leads off, but since he was sick all night
and all day, Frank thought he should take a bit more
time to get settled. IYH took 2/3 from Dave, who's
an A1 shot. Mr. Smith nailed 439 asp's in the process.
Glenn nailed a tight d-2 winner in one, hitting a
T and T-20, through a haze of sickness and a little
frustration. Way to suck it up, guy. Dartbags up 4-2.

GINS (vs) Steve Sterns

This would be The Rocktologist's first full-match,
after playing only a handful of games in the NYDO
to date. We backed him up, provided some coaching
and Gins had a good go at it, against a good veteran
in Steve. He had legit chances to win in every
game, but doubling out is where inexperience can
really hurt you.

However...amidst motivational chants of
'We Will ROCK U." coming from Cuppa,
(Gins is a cancer research scientist at
Rockefeller University), he managed to do
something remarkable. In game 3, on his
third turn, he strung together back to back:


Utter bedlam! And he left himself on 48
after just 5 rounds. WOW. Gins then hits
an 8 on his first dart, putting him on 40.

Then he missed the board, and missed the
d-20, out of bounds. In the end, he had
double-trouble again, and credit Steve for
hanging in there, and stealing the final game,
completing a sweep. Nice comeback.

Note: near the end of game 2, Gins busted
hitting a T33 while sitting on 134. That would
have made 483 points for The Rocktologist.

We were definitely proud of Gins for
sluggin' away in a tough spot. Nice job,
and way to provide the usual happy vibe
all night, win or lose.

Dartbags down, 5-4.

Cuppa Joe (vs) Rico Chiong

Despite feeling great lately, I never really
found my stroke. A bit disappointing,
way below expectations. However, Rico
never got his groove either, so all 3 games
were pretty close. Some good finishes allowed
me to ultimately snag 2/3. Rico did hit a T
and a T40, and by game 3 seemed to finally
get hot.

A win is a win, and we needed 2 to tie.
I got 'em. Dartbags tied 6-6 after singles.


Frankinsberg (vs) Joe & Dave

Frank felt like he hadn't thrown a dart in a
week, so he needed to go first. Joe and Dave
are a tough team, and they blew the doors off
in game 1. Game 2 was a point war. Credit
El Capitan for a valiant effort, trading haymakers
with Dave. We didn't really expect that much
from Gins, understandably, so Cpt. Furious needed
to be more like the 'Bad Lieutenant'.

Impressive display, hitting a bunch of R4's, R5's,
just to hang in there. In the end, Dave's trebling
wore the 'bags down, and they came up short.
Frankinsberg played a tough game 3 also, but just
couldn't steal one. Sweep for Dave and Joe.

Furious: "We all congratulated each other for very
competitive matches. Both sides shot well and
enjoyed it."

Dartbags down, 9-6.

CuppaGlenn (vs) Steverico

We needed a sweep. We didn't get it, but we took 2/3.
We never had a strong start, but our short game was tight.
IYH smacked a C4 and an R7 along the way, and
looked solid.

Both of us were steady, made solid closes, and had
the bull by the horns. Steverico was game, especially
in the final. Rico had a huge R6 early in the game, and
they built a pretty good lead from there. We started a
good bull-run and almost came back, but ran out of time.

Dartbags down, 8-10.

Doubles 501

CuppaGlenn (vs) Joe & Dave

Glenn had to go first. It was absurdly late at this point,
and the guy was literally sick to his stomach. So CuppaGlenn
took on a great tandem in Joe and Dave.

Frank: "You guys were HUGE!"

Thanks, guy.

No flashy darts in this round. We got in quickly, and
didn't linger around. I can't remember exact details,
but the captain was pretty jacked up about it. Like
I said, nothing flashy, just blue-collar darts. All were
tense, close games. Joe and Dave were solid, as well.

Wins are wins, and we took all 3, which was massive.
We knew it would be tough for Frankinsberg to
win more than 1, and this put us in the lead.

Dartbags up, 11-10.

Frankinsberg (vs) Steverico

Frank: "It was 1 in the morning, and I was Frankly exhausted."

This Frankginstein amalgam came out limp, and had
double-trouble in all 3 games. Steve had a penchant for
hitting the d-20 in the middle of the game, and was hitting
more 80-somethings than a geriatric-gigolo.

Rico loaded up on points like a looter in a riot.
He made off with 3 tons and a 97.
In the final round of a marathon match, at 1:15am...

...pretty impressive.

The first 2 games were blow-outs by Steverico.
Game 3 would be different. Not different in the
beginning, as Frankinsberg found themselves
down 200 points to start off.

They didn't quit. They hung in there.

They were ALIIIIIIVE!!!

Frank: "We were on 335, and Ginsberg goes....."

Wait...I have to stop here. "We were on 335..."?
How the...what the...who the...why the...heck does
he remember this stuff?!


Frank: "We were on 335, and Ginsberg goes
83, we're on 252. Then I hit a ton. So, now we
were on 152. Those guys were well under 100,
but their short game was fumbling a bit.
Meanwhile, we were bringing it down.

Gins hit a trip-19 on his last dart to leave me
on 34. They had a chance to go out on d-2, but
missed. I hit the d-17 on my second dart and we
stole that game."

And that tied the match, 12-12. Steverico shot well.
Frank was, in his words, "bad", and Gins pitched in
with some good rounds.

Final word from the captain:

"Very, very late night, guy. We need to shoot better."

Missing Vince is a huge void to fill. He's like the
Dartbags Paul O'Neill, of the championship Yankees.
Remember them?

We'll bring it next week at full-strength. You know
'The Hornet's Nest' will be swarming with rage.

Kudos to the Gaf East, and the Nomads,
for being good hosts, as always. See you
at 'the jeek' next time.

ASP Recap:

Glenn - 485 (sick to his stomach)
Gins - 350 (nearly 483...we will Rock U!)
Frank - 301 (way to jump on the grenade)
Cuppa - 191 (blue collar, but went 7/9)

This also extends our 'not-losing' streak
to 11 regular-season matches. Decent.

Final note: retired Dartbag, Lou Henry, has started
a C-league team, comprised of employees at his
design firm. They are called "The Starving Dartists",
and are playing out of the Ace Bar in the east village.

The Dartbags wish 'em well, and good luck. We'll
follow their progress as the season goes.

Last night, however, they played a team called
"Stick It", from Amsterdam Billiards. Sorry to say,
this team, "Stick It", was an absolute disgrace.

They didn't know, or care, how to play, and had no
respect, whatsoever for the game. They had
a random friend sub in, who wasn't even a registered
NYDO player. Didn't pay attention, didn't care, and
made it difficult to play, period.

They had to be hunted down for ridiculous
periods of time, between turns and games, to the
point where they finished singles at nearly 11pm.

Near the end of round 1, Lou had to hunt down
2 of the players who were supposed to be playing,
out by the bar, hanging out. When asked what
they were doing, they replied, "we don't want to
play anymore...".

Roger: Amsterdam Billiards sponsored these
guys, who have no business in the league. I hope
the NYDO will do the right thing, and ban this
team, and the individuals from the league.

Not that they care.....but we do.

And, way to go, Amsterdam Billiards! Nice job.

Final, final notes:


Tom Lally submits, Jonah Goldberg,
for Cpt. Furious.


Blogger ny81him said...


Good write up... Wish I could keep up with mine.

When did you do the T Shirt thing? I have not seen them before! Did you do a write up on them??

Talk soon,

4:41 PM  
Blogger Captain Furious said...

Great Cupdate.

I'm more like a Mini Me than a lookalike. I met Jonah Goldberg once. He's a good 6'4'', 260 lbs.

11:33 AM  
Blogger ny81him said...


Thanks for stopping by on Sunday!

I got the shirts today! They were sent from my father!

I did not tell him that you mentioned anything to me.

I am going to have to wear it and come to one of your matches real soon, take some pictures of it and such.

Good luck the rest of the season, looking forward to reading week 2!


12:16 PM  
Blogger ny81him said...

Hey, I just checked the link for the shirts again, it seems to be down. Double check on your end.


12:18 PM  

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