Monday, November 26, 2007

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #9: MOONLIGHT GINSBERG AND THE RETURN OF THE MICROWAVE

"Ginsberg Leaves Rangers For Dartbags, Ol' Rusty Makes Triumphant Return, Big Friendly Joins in Fun"

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 11 - 19 - 07

NOTE: This post was more substantial... but it got erased because the blogspot platform is as stable as Rosie O'Donnell going through Twinkie withdrawal. This version is shorter.
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The Dartbags had been inVinceable. But Vince was in California. Thus they were inVinceable no more.

Facing a resurgent Alleymen squad who seemed to have found their footing in A league, the 'Bags would need all hands on deck in order to pick up slack. They would muster 6 of 7 'Bags as well as a surprise visit from Lillian (who has been known to wander as far south as 33rd Street in pursuit of a delicious Auntie Anne's Pretzel Dog.) With no further ado this is what happened.

Glenn Pike 2, Ryan Shane 1

Frank Murtha 2, Tim Tully 1

Cuppa Joe Gasparino 1, Mark Collins 2

Mike Ginsberg 0, Gerard Leary 3


Pike was good not great. Ditto Frank who managed 4 all star rounds. Cup shot okay, but Collins was terrific. Still Cup managed to take a game off a good shot. And Gins... well, Gins was a hero no matter what he did. Ginsberg was actually watching his Rangers take on their arch-rival Islanders around the coner at Madison Square Garden. But, being the team guy that he is, he agreed to play singles because we had no other players available. The plan, suggested by the Captain, was to have Gins show up during the first intermission and then go back to catch the rest of the game. If timed correctly, he would miss no more than 5 minutes of hockey action.

But what Gins knew - and Frank did not - is that MSG has a no re-entry policy for Rangers games. In fact, the entire scene played out like one of our favorite movies.

Field of Dartbags

Gins: What have we got here?

Frank: We fell - 2 out of 3.

Gins: Why, this team's chokin' to death! You need to lighten up, just have some fun. You'll be all right. You'll be doin' handsprings again in no time.

He borrowed a set of the Captain's 22 Widows... and promptly got swept by Leary (who was shooting sick darts, literally not missing a 20 in one game until going for his outs). So be it.

Frank: Hey, Gins. Thanks for making it. It was a good effort. Go, enjoy the rest of the hockey game.

Gins just smiled and shook his head in answer... and the Captain came to a horrible realization

Frank: Oh, my God... You can't go back. You can't go back!

Gins: It's all right-

Frank: I'm sorry.

Gins: It's all right.


Frank: But you were only there for 1 period!!! The Rangers-Islanders is like your dream night. It would kill some men to get that close to their dream and not touch it... They'd consider it a tragedy.

Gins just shook his head.

Gins: Son, if I could only have been a Dartbag for 1 period... now THAT would have been a tragedy.

He shook each Dartbag's hand one after another and each one thanked him. No Gins didn't win a game. Frankly, we never expect him to. But the way Leary was shooting, he probably would have beaten any Dartbag. We call playing such hot shooters "diving on a grenade." And it was at that point we knew that Gins one appearance was like Moonlight Graham's one at bat... it was a sacrifice. Gins gave a little salute as he made his way out of Dart Alley.

Gins: Win one for me one day, will you, boys?

He turned to leave.

Glenn: Hey, Gins...
Gins turned 'round

Glenn: ... you didn't suck.

He gave a smile and twinkle returned to his eye. Ginsberg put on his Rangers cap, and then mysteriously disappeared into the crowd at the bar.

And then he came back 2 minutes later with a Jameson's.

Love the effort.

Darts took 2nd billing to drama in the 2nd set.

Sure, Cup and Frank took 2 of 3. But the real story was the valiant effort of Glenn and the season premier of Colin "The Microwave" O'Donnell.

Though each game was a dogfight, Glenn and Colin were on the verge of being swept. Though Glenn through big darts, the team of Leary and Shane was too strong. The 'Bags actually held a 4 - 2 lead on corks, but couldn't close the deal. The Alleymen caught up and now the 'Bags were trailing 1 cork to 2 with Leary waiting on deck. This location is very close to the town of "Sh*t's Creek".

Colin missed wide right with his first dart. Then he missed wide right on his second dart. The entire team was watching intently. You could hear a pin drop on Dart Alley. If Colin didn't hit a center cork with his last dart... we were surely dead. He stepped to the line. He eyed up the board. Drew back his hand.... and then he stopped. He turned and addressed the assembled throng:

Colin: Dire straits, indeed, dear chums. And no margin for error at that! Verily, this turn of events calls ... for Ol' Rusty.

Yes, THAT Ol' Rusty! The Billy Barool of the darting world. The enchanted arrow, never known to fail!

Colin reached into his brief case and produced a small wooden box. On the box were Celtic Runes in gold inlay - a language long forgotten. Colin pressed a button on the bottom and the box sprang open, revealing a misshapen bar dart laying on a velvet bed. He held it aloft.

Colin: Old friend, I would not have roused your from the arms of Orpheus, if we were not in grave peril. We have but one chance to hit 2 marks. Should we fail, we would most assuredly lose the day -- yon Leary has a lean and hungry look. So I say to you, once more into the breach, old friend! Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!!

And with a might, cross-handed swipe he let fly his volley! Ol' Rusty twisted swirled, drawn inexorably to the center bull. The blood red cork seemed almost to rise, like an expectant lover as Ol' Rusty penetrated deep into her fibers! An eruption of triumph was heard!

Dartbags: Hooray!

A miracle shot! The was much embracing (of a manly sort) and the slapping of hands could be heard!

Colin: Innkeeper, bring a round of your finest ales for all my friends!

Bartender: Huh?

Colin: Victory is ours!

At least... I think that's what happened. I know this. Colin was as cool as could be when he hit that game winning double cork. And we were as good as dead if he hadn't.

Afterward, Colin's reaction was reserved and utterly unflappable. In other words - typical.

Colin: I like the close matches best. They're more fun.

And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is why he is The Microwave. Not only does he not feel pressure when he comes off the bench... he is literally unaware that he is even SUPPOSED to feel pressure. "I like the close matches best???"

Unreal.

And in the third set (and with considerably less drama) Big Friendly Tim got into the act by taking 2 games of Double '01.

We would finish the night with a 12-12 tie. But we would also finish the night with some serious highlights of the season. And every Dartbag got in on the fun. Winning, shminning. This was a fun night.

So the unbeaten streak stands at 20 weeks. And I'll end the recap right here because time is tight.

That is all.

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving From VUDUDARTS

Darts Cult Heroes

VUDUDARTS, badass dartists, creators of tough darts apparel
for the ultimate dart-geek, has just opened a new section
to their store: Darts Cult Heroes.

As always, click the link 'box' to the right of every post
on the Dartbags home page, and for a limited time now,
receive free-shipping. WOW.

VUDUDARTS is proud to introduce as its flagship Hero.
The one, the only....dart-dippin'est....C-sixtion'est,
Jamesons-sippin'est....captain-kirkin'est.....shatnerian
king-of-sting.....El Capitan....

.....Cpt FURIOUS!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Week 9 Write Up Coming Soon

Captain Furious is heading into the wilds of New Hampshire and will do the write up as soon as he can.

In the meantime, check out Snowball the Cockatoo.

He dances, he sings... awesome.

Warning: contains (bad) audio.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

WRITE UP FOR WEEK #8: GLASS HALF FULL... (OF BEER)

CAPTAIN'S LOG: DART DATE: 11 - 12 - 07

Is the glass half empty or half full? Both are correct - it's just a matter of perspective. The Dartbags would get a chance to answer that question after turning a 10-2 performance in singles into a 15-9 win over Nomads No More at the Jeek.

It was a good turnout. Nellie was on hand as was Ginsberg's crew. In addition, 6 of 7 'Bags made the scene, all save Colin "The Microwave" O'Donnell who was giving a guest lecture on The Role of Sloped Foreheads on Comparative Sagacity at Columbia's School of Phrenology - his favorite topic, by the way. Frank's friend and fellow Scarsdalian, Mike Kapner even made an appearance. Always nice to get a good crew together. Here's what happened (in an abbreviated format, because Frank has a lot of work to do).

SINGLES: 10-2

Glenn vs. Steve Sterns: 3-0.
Frank vs. John Leshanski: 3-0
Vince vs. Joe Murray: 2-1
Cup vs. Dave Smith: 2-1.

Wow. That's one hell of a start.

Piker was hotter than a habanero. He came out gunning and just missed an 18 darter when his 3rd dart hit the single rather than the double bull. He'd go out in 20, 25 and 29 darts. It's been a long time since Glenn has looked so in control.

The Captain was gunning too. Even starting one game with a Ton, T-40, Ton and just missing a 17 darter. He'd settle for a 22 darter and a second sweep.

Vince drew a tough opponent in Joe, but managed to gut out 2/3 in hard fought games. Vince is developing a special bond with the D-4.

Cuppa Joe drew one of the best shots in A-3, but managed to take the last 2 legs (while firing off 323 ASPs) to give the 'Bags all the momentum in the world heading into cricket.

Frankly, this is as well as we've shot in singles all year - an encouraging sign as we turn the mid-season corner and begin the back stretch. If we play like that in the playoffs, we could find ourselves in a position to shock some unsuspecting A-1 squads.

CRICKET: 4-2

Glenn and Vince vs. Joe and Dave: 1-2
Frank and Cup vs. Rico Chiong and Steve: 3-0

Glenn and Vince drew the heavy artillery. And Joe and Dave were raining shells on them. Dave dropped an R-7 bomb and a C-4 to lead the former Nomads to two victories. Pike's heroics were enough to get 1 point in this one and the 'Bags had to settle for 1 point and a tip of the cap after 3 very close matches.

Frank and Cup were throwing some bombs of their own. Frank dropped a patch-worthy R-9 on the 19s and Cup followed with an R-7. The Nomads never quit. Rico popped an R-6 and Steve valiantly drilled a C-4 in the last leg to make it interesting. But the 'Bags had too much firepower in this set. And we'd take a 14-4 lead into Doubles.

DOUBLE '01

Frank and Tim vs. Joe and Dave: 0-3
Vince and Cup vs. Rico and John: 1-2

What can you say? We let it get away. The Nomads never quit. And beyond that, they shot better as the night went along. We can't say the same. Frank and Tim turned in a respectable effort. But Joe and Dave wouldn't give them a chance. Ditto in the last set. Vince and Cup took the first point. But John refound his stroke by taking out an 86 in two darts. And the doubles just proved to elusive for the 'Bags.

FINAL SCORE: DARTBAGS 15 - NOMADS NO MORE -9

So is the glass half empty? I don't think so. On one hand we had a 14-4 lead. On the other hand, the NNM earned the last 5 points. To a man, they shot well. And they're nice guys.

Actually, I found the evening encouraging because it seems to me our games are coming around. I mean, if Pike is going to shoot like an A-2 MVP, if Vince and Cup are going to take 2/3 off of some of the toughest shots in the league (and The Furious One was on his game as well), we are going to be just fine. The playoffs are all but assured. The only question is can we take first place. If we shoot this well, I like our chances.

So we settle for 15 points, running our unbeaten streak to 19 games, and drinking really good beer with our friends. Disappointing night?

Nah.

Well, unless you're a San Francisco 49er playing on Monday Night Football.

Man, do they suck.

Happy Veterans Day to all who serve and have served our country.

We'll see you next week at Stout where we take a resurgent Alleymen in week 9. Those guys are good. And they're getting better. Should be a challenge.

That is all.

-Captain Furious

ALL STAR RECAP:

Frank: 720
Cup: 653
Pike: 424
Vince: 200

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Monday, November 12, 2007

Happy Veterans Day

The Dartbags would like to take a moment to say thank you to our nation's Veterans - including our own Capt. Tim Sheahan, USAF, Ret. God bless them all and God bless our country.

"May the wings of liberty never lose a feather."

- Jack Burton

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Week 7: 15/24 Ain't Good

Decaf Cuppa Joe 'Leads'
Lackluster Dartbags

The boys manage to take just 15 points
from shorthanded 'Balls-N-Strikes'


By Cuppa Joe Gasparino

This performance couldn't have come at a worse time.

1) We were neck&neck with Bullistics, chasing them by 4 points, and making up ground on them requires near flawless play, with little room for any screw-ups.

2) Franky, El Capitan, informed us that he would miss our second match against Bullistics in December, so every point counts, more than ever. Missing a 'made' guy for the biggest match of the season is gonna hurt.

3) We found out that 'Balls-N-Strikes' would be shorthanded monday. This was our chance to make up the ground we needed.

We blew it.

Yeah, we took 15 points, but we needed 18. Should've taken 20. As it turned out, Bullistics whacked the 'Nomads' 18-6. We lost ground. Now we're down 7.

With the second half of our season starting on monday, we have alot of work to do. This doesn't look good. This is the bad time.

With all that goin' on...monday was still a great time.

There was Neil "The Law" McLoughlin and Tom "The White Hawk" Lally, who managed to make it over from the eastside. Also the girls, Lillian, Jessie and Nell came by for a bit. There was Mike 'GINS' Ginsberg, who is a legend. He showed up after being out in Vegas. He landed in JFK after 3 days of booze & black-jack, cabbed it home...took a shower, and half-way through cricket, there he was sitting at The Table, with beer in hand.

And the irishman, Timmy 'BFT' Sheahan made it out long enough to take a few shots, after doing a short stint somewhere, on the lam.

...it was a glorious time.

Boxscore: Dartbags VS Balls-N-Strikes

Singles 501

Frank 2 - Steve Tsoukalis 1
Cuppa Joe 0 - Carlos Alayo 3
Vince 2 - Brendan Dowling 1
Pike 3 - Forfeit 0

(Dartbags 7 - 'Balls 5)

Cricket

Cuppaglenn 2 - Brendan/Carlos 1
Frankenvince 3 - Canadian Steve 0

(Dartbags 12 - 'Balls 6)

Doubles 501

Cuppaglenn 3 - Canadian Steve 0
VFT 0 - Brendan/Carlos 3

Final Score: Dartbags 15 - 'Balls-N-Strikes 9

Allstar Point Totals:

Glenn 642 (R6)
Vince 470 (R7)
Frank 440
Cuppa 288
BFT 0 (but got on 1st turns in dub 01)

The "Highlight of the Night"TM, was when Frank was on 65 in his second game of singles. How to take out a 65 has always been debatable. Not any more:

McLoughlin's Law: if you're sitting on 65 with 3 darts in hand, 1st dart is at bullseye.

And so it is written.

Up to this point, Frank was off his game. He lost the first one. He was off his mark. Sitting on 65, and with Steve shooting pretty well, he was debating how to take this out. Neil laid down the law:

Neil: "Bull, Frank."

Frank hits the bull with his first dart. Double-20 second dart. Nice job. That changed the rest of the round. Frank started the third game, going Ton, Ton, Ton-40. Steve hung with him. Frank almost lost that one. Took it out though. Nice 2/3, guy.

As a segway into the "Lowlight of the Night"TM, Cuppa, in the first game of his lackluster, heinous round, also sat on 65. As if in a thick fog, Cup turned around to consult whoever was there. It was Neil again.

Neil: "Bull, Joe."

Cuppa also hit the bull with his first dart. However, the second dart was uncharacteristically, and hideously off the mark. Cuppa usually has chunks of double-20 in his stool. Not this night. He hit a 1....then an 18 leaving him on 46. Good leave, despite initially making good on "McLoughlin's Law", and screwing it up. The 'decaf' Cuppa Joe proceeded to make lemons into (expletive), and lost it in an X battle.

He lost the second in an X battle as well. The third game was actually a good one. Carlos was on fire since the middle of the second game, and took this one out in the 8th turn, we think 23 darts. Cuppa was poised to go out on 40.

So Cuppa, for what we think was the first time ever, got swept in a singles 501 round.

(Note: Carlos has only lost 1 game all year in singles, so tip your cap. He also ran in the table in 'after-hours-darts', according to Cpt. Furious.)

On friday, during happy-hour-darts, the match was discussed, and it really falls on the shoulders of Vince and Cup. Cup got swept in singles, The Hornet's Nest was dormant in doubles '01. Everyone else did their job, especially Glenn, who was deadly in cricket.....and put up 642 without playing singles. If he plays singles, you're looking at about 1100-1200 points.

We play the 'Nomads' on monday, at 'The Jeek'. Not 'The Geek', as Frank unfortunately wrote last week.

Check out the Halloween Darts Pictorial below.

We need to bring it on monday. Come one, come all.

I'm outtie like Curt Gowdy.

HALLOWEEN DART PHOTOS

The 2nd Annual Dartbag Halloween Dartnight... and hilarity ensued.
The Microwave Holds Court
Holly and Hope Dressed As Goshenites

Vince and Cup Yuk It Up

Cuppa Joe - En Fuego

Nell Let's Her Hair Down. Or is it Cup's Hair Down?

Ross 'N Frank Have Been Facing Off Since C League

Bad Nellie!!!
After 6 Beers It's "The Legend of Sloppy Hollow"

Now That's REALLY Scary

The Least Intimidating Dart Team Ever

Good Night and Thank You, Mr. Jameson!